Hi,
My almost two year old takes 45 minutes to an hour to fall asleep at night. I have tried putting him to bed early, tried late and it's always the same thing. Most nights it's about 50 minutes and sometimes up to an hour and a half. Usually he just lays in his crib and talks or yells or watches his music box. I think that kind of gets him calmed down. Then it takes him a good 15 minutes to actually fall asleep once he's ready (I've spied on him through a cracked door:). He doesn't really cry when he's i there, only when he gets his leg stuck in the crib slats...!!! The problem is that I can't relax until he's asleep. I know that's my problem and if I only knew that what he's doing is normal and okay I think I would be able to get over it but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Oh yeah, we have a 30 minute bedtime routine and he goes to bed at the same time every night. He wakes up at 7:30am, naps from 12:30 to 2:30 and is in bed by 7:30-8pm.
Am I doing something wrong or should I just suck it up and give him his time to hang out by himself?
Thanks moms! I feel much better. I will start working on getting myself relaxed and let him have his time.
Do you go to sleep immediately? Let him be. He is winding down from a
busy day. Relax and be glad he is not screaming. Some kids go right to
sleep and some do not. They are all different.
My 26 month old is out like a light, three minutes tops. We do bath, brush his teeth, story time, and cuddles, then I put him down, and he's out momentarily. I do keep the room darkened, and a fan on.
Try shortening his naps by half an hour or so, make sure he gets plenty of physical exercise in the afternoon, and no caffeine, chocolate or sugar in the afternoon and evening.
You are doing everything just fine! Your son sounds exactly like mine. We have a similar schedule for our son too. And we have the routine too. He sits in his chair for dinner, eats, and then we go and take a bath, and then he sits in my lap with his sippy cup of warm milk and I read him a story. Then I go put him in his crib and he lays down and is quiet for a few minutes. Then I hear him talking, or singing to himself. Sometimes it's just quieter to himself, and sometimes he is louder, I think to get our attention to see what we will do.
We dont go in there, we let him sit in his crib, talking and he eventually falls asleep, about a half hour, to an hour later.
If he starts crying, or sounds upset then we will go in there, and he usually dropped his binky and couldn't reach it, so we give it back to him and he puts himself back to sleep.
I think its okay for him to sit there and talk to himself, his imagination is probably playing with him so he is amusing himself, until he feels sleepy.
He doesnt need you or want anything, he just wants to talk. Its okay for it to be by himself, he is learning to self soothe and this will be so much easier for you.
So relax! and let the boy speak! Lol.
Give him his time. You've done nothing wrong. Your son just needs his time to wind down and help himself go to sleep. Be glad for what you've got. SO much better than the kids who scream when you lay them down.
Love my son, and it took until he was four until he learned how to fall asleep on his own. Enjoy your son's independence!
If he's content and happy, I wouldn't worry at all. Everyone needs some "alone time"...yes, even babies. I know I thoroughly enjoy my alone time and I'm sure most Mom's do too. I would leave him alone.
My son goes to sleep pretty easily, but my daughter will lay there for up to an hour playing quietly in her bed. I figure as long as she is quiet and in her bed it is okay. Be glad that your son goes down without a fight. If he takes time to get to sleep so be it.
He may need to drop his nap or at least take one earlier. It should not take an hour to fall asleep. But, If he's not upset then leave him be. My son takes 5-10 minutes to fall asleep. If it takes him longer it takes really long, like 45 minutes or an hour and in those cases its because he took an accidental nap (he is 3 and has not napped since 2 1/2). But if your son is ok with things the way they are and not screaming for you then just have a glass of wine and relax!
It usually takes me a little while to fall asleep, so I wouldn't expect it to be any different for a child. I read in bed for a little while, turn out the light, try one position, try another position, etc. Kids don't have the option of reading, so I would think talking to themselves or making some noise makes sense. He's fine :-)
My almost 6 y/o usually takes about 20 minutes to relax enough to sleep - and that is co-sleeping. If she's sleeping in her room, she takes almost 2 hours.
It sounds pretty okay to me. My kids never took that long to fall asleep once they were content in their beds....but everyone is different, right? The only suggestions that might make a difference, that I can think of, is that maybe he needs to be more physically active during the daytime. I know, for ME even, that if I have pretty much been a vegetable during my waking hours it takes me longer to fall asleep than if I have been DOING things during the day. It was the same with my kids as they have grown up... on days they DO alot, even as toddlers, they fall asleep much faster (in less than 10 minutes usually) than on days when they have sat around like bumps on logs. Those days, or days when they slept in late and have had "too much" sleep, they can take forever to fall asleep---like an hour or more. Now, granted, my kids are 9 and 12.... but this has always been the case with them.
Your bedtime and naptime routines sound great. But you didn't say what sort of physical activity your son gets on a daily basis... Do you play chase with him at all? Ever try to teach him how to hop or encourage climbing over big piles of pillows? It does NOT have to be some sort of organized "exercise" like if you were in a gym class.... but just moving his whole body rather than sitting.
Other than that, it sounds like that hour at bedtime would be an excellent time for a glass of wine and a good book. :)
Totally normal! I have 3 kids and two of them have been ones that just naturally take longer to finally give in and fall asleep (yes, up to an hour and half some nights). My middle child however, you put her to bed and in 20 minutes she's out cold. Relax, your child is enjoying their alone time, you should be enjoying yours too:)
It takes my 20 month old about 45m to an hour to fall asleep and it takes my 7 year old about the same. UGH. I guess they take after me and not their dad. He falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
My baby girl does the same thing!!!! She will be acting sleepy at night so i put her in her crib and she coos and plays and sometimes will cry out, but she seems to be very content in there. As long as you are checking on him periodically, making for sure that he is ok, I would say to just suck it up. :)
He's soooooo normal! I promise! Just be consistent of the bedtime routine and don't le thim make a game out of it and he'll eventuallay settle back in. My eldest and youngest did althouh my middle duaghter with special needs turns ou tto have sleep issues relateed to her Autism. This past year we starte dher on melatonin but shes 8 yrs old an I don't thiknk 2 is old enough.
Holy carp! Lesson y;all don't sleepaid n oist!
I think your routine sounds perfect, and there's nothing wrong with him talking or singing or doing whatever for awhile before he falls asleep.
RELAX! My kids usually fell asleep pretty quickly but they all sucked on their fingers so thety got good and cozy and quiet pretty fast. Your son is just soothing himself and unwinding. Sound great! He naps during the day and you do a nighttime routine and he is in bed at the same time each night...sound great!
Sounds more like you need to work on relaxing and unwinding. Breathe...one...two..three. You are doing great mama!!
At this age you might want to start limiting his nap time during the day - that's what we did with my daughter and it worked pretty well. Try waking him after an hour (after a few days to a week he will probably start waking up on his own after an hour). On days when my daughter is having a hard time falling asleep on her own I let her play in her bedroom until a timer goes off (20 minutes or so) - you could try that by putting toys in his crib, and then taking them out when it's time to go to sleep. It seems to help her wind down. And if I don't do the timer thing, she'll goof around in her bed for an hour or two before falling asleep. If I do the timer thing and let her play for 20 minutes, then she'll usually go right to sleep afterwards.
My 4yo would never fall asleep if we didn't make him go to bed. He has an abundance of energy!!!!! It usually takes him an hour or two, to fall asleep. Occasionaly he will fall asleep in about 15 mins.
Our 17 mo takes about 10-15 mins to fall asleep.
I also have a two yearold. He also talks to himself and his animals for 30-60 minutes. It is more stressful for the mother, as I want him to go to sleep as he wakes up at 5:30. This might not sound logical, but since he is up at 2;30 from his nap, I would put him down at 7pm. He might be overtired and is taking him longer to wind down. I would not wake him up after one hour from his nap, he needs a two hour nap. I
good question mama! i don't feel relaxed per se either until i KNOW my boy's asleep. no murmuring, no whimpering, singing, etc. after that THEN i feel like i can do chores, talk on the phone, etc. you're not alone!
tonight i had to put him to bed a little earlier b/c he kicked the dog during story time, and i said, "oh! off to bed we go!" so it took him really about a good hour to go to sleep. sucked for me tonight. so i feel ya'! :)
