D.F.
Hmmmmmm, I think once about 13 years ago he took the kids to the park so I could clean. But now that their older he just tells them to help mom.
My family is coming to town for a weekend visit. And I noticed that whenever I desperately need help getting things cleaned,
cooked, etc. my husband cleans the garage. I wonder if anyone else has this kind of thing happen. Just thinking I will chuckle
when I hear some of the stories.
Oh my gosh, I am laughing so hard I can't stand it. I keep sneaking in to see what other people are going through. In the meantime my husband has fixed a cabinet drawer and did something to the bedroom (yikes). But what I see through all of these notes is one common bond. We love these guys just the way they are.
Hmmmmmm, I think once about 13 years ago he took the kids to the park so I could clean. But now that their older he just tells them to help mom.
My husband suddenly has to go to the bathroom, store, mall, sisters house, golfing, anything to get away from me. I like things done a certain way.......my way. He notices that I have a attitude and leaves. Comes home when all is done and enjoys the company! Its just the way I like it.
My husband focuses on weird stuff too rather than the general clean up that really needs to be dealt with. If I am not specific as to what chores I'd like him to help me with I will find him cleaning the ceiling fans, changing the AC filter, and trimming his own beard... lol. It's pretty funny and so predictable.
But, if I do say "please run the vacuum, change the cat box, and clean the windows" he'll do it. Make a list, they usually do better when they have a "list".
My husband sits on the couch and makes sure the TV remote control doesn't get lost! :-)
Yeah...Nero fiddles while Rome burns!
My hubby usually focuses on some small stupid detail while I do mostly all else.
Make hubby a check list to help him stay focused!
OMG! I feel so much better just reading others responses! We are not neatfreaks but when company is coming we go into a cleaning frenzy. I was still in town when my Mom called to say she had just arrived in town. I called Hubby and said,"She's here early! I'll take her to dinner with the kids to buy you time if you will make sure to mop the kitchen/dining/bathroom floors." We went to dinner, got home, nothing mopped. He was in the laundry/storage room rearranging storage totes!!!!!!! I about died of embarrasment. There were even boot prints on the floor! (He is a printer and brings home lots of ink :D )
He only has three regular chores. The cat box, the trash and the yard (of course thats only part of the year). I hate to admit it, but the catbox and trash may get taken care of once or twice a month! I know for cleanliness sake I should just do it myself so its not gross/stinky/etc., but then I will be doing it ALL. I already feel that way, but I refuse to really do it all!
On the plus side, on occasion, he will get tired of all the toys littering the living room floor and pick them all up and vacuum. I just wish he had as good a nose as I do!
When we are having guests my husband always cleans the most obscure things. Last time he was going around the house polishing the woodwork while there was still laundry everywhere, floors to be vacuumed, beds to be made, dishes to be done, and dinner to prepare. I even joked with him, "Our guests are going to come in and say, 'Wow, your house is a mess; but the woodwork looks great!'".
I've learned to let him do what he must and be grateful for it. His priorities are obviously different than mine. He will mow the lawn, scrub behind the fridge, and dust the figurines instead of all the prominent stuff. That is left up to me, but that's who he is and I love him for it. :-)
I ask him to leave so I can do the real work!
The garage? LOL!! Because, you know, whenever you've got a guest they'll all want to take a peek at your garage...you know, just like they peek into your medicine cabinet!
I remember, our son's first birthday, and we just bought the house, so it was also our first big gathering at our home...and we did not have a cleaning lady yet, so with no cleaning lady, a baby, and me working full time, the house was in need of a good tidying up. Our house has a beautiful jacuzzi that we immediately shut down after purchasing because it was costing to much to keep it running, and we were tight on bills. So, the MORNING of our baby's party, and with about 30 guests + who knows how many children due to come in about 3-4 hours, and the island in the kitchen with so much food I did not even have a space to prepare anything...my lovely hubby decides to set up the jacuzzi. I should add -- this was not going to be a pool party or anything, we had no plans to use the jacuzzi during the actual party...he jus tthought it would help to make the place look pretty it was up and running. I was furious. I told him that it would take hours to do, and besides, since we knew nothing about even running it, it take longer to figure out how to start it up. But, still, here he comes with a hose, filling it up like its a kiddie pool, asking me - "waht chemicals do you use in the water again?" while I slaving away in the kitchen. "Where did you put them? I can't find them!" I was SO upset. In the end, he had no time to help me at all with food prep or cleaning the house or, even watching the baby. I had to pull it all off myself (even the decorations!). And our guests got the oh-so-lovely view of our dirty jacuzzi, half filled, with a hose stuck in it. But the good thing is he learned his lesson...he never did anything like that again.
!
Yeah....hmmm....I am not sure what it is that my husband does, he walks around looking confused and pretending he is doing something. For example he will get a big yellow bucket from the garage and look like he is doing something important with it???? O.K. Whatever
I have found that if I ask for help cleaning, and I mean something in the house, I need to be specific, or something completely not useful to the visit gets done, sometimes. :) So, I say "The family is coming over. Sometime this week, could you vacuum the living room and sweep up the kitchen floor?" Otherwise, the cars get washed or something like that. :)
I didn't know there was such a creature as a husband who helps when getting ready for weekend guests, LOL When we have parties and such my husband will cut the grass, set out tables and chairs, fill coolers and direct the kids in cleaning up the playroom. Otherwise I am on my own for shopping, cleaning, cooking, organizing, etc.
I love this!!! A BIG joke in the neighborhood is that my husband is "cleaning the garage!". In other words...he hangs out in the garage, has a few beers, listens to the radio, visits with the guys in the neighborhood as they stop by, and maybe rearranges some of the contents of the garage. He will do this almost every weekend in the fall and our garage is still a mess! But he really does come up big when I ask him for help, if I don't ask for help though, he will just sit on the couch while I clean aroun him.
tehehe, best thing he can do is keep smilin' and not fight back when I rip his face off about not recognizing a thing that's SCREAMING at me that needs to be done, since he knows if he does do it, I won't Like the way he does it and do it again myself! Really, he can't win. A positive attitude helps more than any physical labor.
First he will clean up the yard. Then I usually ask him to take my son somewhere for a few hours while I clean. I can get it all done much quicker if no one is home. It is much more relaxing to clean when I am home alone too.
My husband helps by sitting there watching TV and watching me clean like a mad-woman and telling me "who cares, they are just our friends/family" - consider yourself lucky he cleans SOMETHING!! LOL. No really though, he should help inside at least a little! But, mine won't, so I have no advice to give to get yours to!
=)
He used to remind me that our weekend guests were always "my family" b/c his lives locally therefore, no overnights. I used to do all the "readying" while he cleaned the grill or worked on some other "who the hell is going to notice that" task.
That all changed when his brother had to move-in with us for a year... he realized that it's not my family/his family, but our family and started really helping. I have to say that by not complaining about our perpetual houseguest I was able to make my point.
Beyond that, he realized how much work goes into: work all day, make dinner, clean the house, keep up with the laundry, take care of the baby and still have "time" for him... that he suggested we hire a housekeeper! Ended up being a win-win!
Everyone's answers make me laugh so hard! Last weekend we had friends from out of town coming. He wanted my son to clean up his toys (even though they were bringing 2 kiddos with them), but ignored the fact that our dishes needed to be focused on. Honest to goodness, he got worked up over the fact that the toys weren't clean because I was doing dishes! Once I explained that the dishes wouldn't look so nice, but the kiddos would end up taking all of the toys out to play with them anyways, he calmed down a bit.
Anyways...I find the same things with him. He will be rearranging our office closet instead of mopping the floors or finishing up that last load of laundry (even though we have a laundry room that our guests never go in) instead of helping clean the powder room. I think it is just a guy thing...unless you spell out exactly what they need to do, they find their own priorities!
Good luck...we are always having company, so I understand your laughs/frustration! :)
I have to laugh. That is exactly what my husband does. It is really important to have a clean garage when the rest of the house is a mess!
One time we were having guests over in the evening and my husband wanted to cut the grass in the backyard. I was upset b/c they can't even see the backyard from inside the house where we were going to be. But now I just give him certain things I need help with, he will do them. The thing that helps me the most is him taking care of our three kids while I'm cleaning. Then I can bust it out in no time.
My husband cleans the fish tanks and his desk. :D He might vacuum the downstairs if I can't get to it.
I have found I need to ask my husband for help and be very specific about what I need help with instead of just a general we need to get the house cleaned up.
I like to clean like a mad woman. My husband always offers to help and I am more than happy to have his help. Sometimes I have to go back and redo things because I do it better, but he always offers. Guess I am one of the lucky few. I always get a good laugh out of him because I can do so much in a hour and it seems like it takes him the entire day, but like I said I always appreciate his help.
I work 3 overnight shifts a week as an emergency veterinarian and hubby stays home with DD (going on 3 years now!) and somehow I still get stuck with the bulk of the regular day-to-day housework. It's like he does not see messes on the counter, the stove top, the sink. It does not occur to him that dirty dishes should not sit for 3 days. He will do some things if I complain to him or he knows I am getting irritated. His idea of cleaning the bathroom is to throw a blue tablet into the toilet tank.
Fortunately, when we are expecting company, he goes into full domestic Mr. Mom mode. He will take care of any messes that are specifically his, put his clothes away, pick up toys, and vacuum. Sometimes I will just tell him, "I need you to do XYZ." and he's on it. I've found that it helps to give specifics.
I have had to remind him that the housecleaning fairy does not live at our house and if he is going to opt to stay home to be home with DD when I can't be, he needs to step it up, but lately I am starting to wonder if it's just not on his radar because it's just never had to be. I have said that if at some point he returns to work, I'm hiring a house cleaner to come every 1 to 2 weeks. I've been tempted to do so even with him staying home.
Help? LOL! After many years of quiet resentment, then an explosion I learned to give my husband a heads up. Very sweetly ask him for help, but be specific about what you need help with. Prepare him ahead of time and then remind him on the day of. My husband just didn't know what needed to be done. When I asked he was great.
Just beware the dangers of expectations. If you ask your husband to do a task then be happy with the way he does it. If it isn't good enough in your eyes he will soon not want to help you. It's a great lesson in letting go of control. And.......try not to go back and re-do anything he has done.
We don't have a garage but have huge front and back yards along with grass along the street sideof the house. Company coming? Gotta mow all that dang grass first... *then* there maybe time to get a few floors mopped... Clean the powder room? NOT! kitchen? NOT! I tried yelling, asking nicely, etc... No luck. The kids are older so I just assign tasks so I can focus on the meal and decor. Thanks honey for making sure that grass is cut!! LOL
I must be super lucky. My husband will handle all the dishes that can't go in the dishwasher (strangely, I don't mind cleaning toilets but HATE dirty dishes), he does his own laundry and helps with the baby's. He doesn't usually take initiative on his own to clean more than that, because he doesn't notice things are dirty, but if I ask him to help, he does. But what's even better is when he's home, he takes care of the baby so that I can run around the house cleaning.
If we're having guests he'll also help pick up whatever clutter is around, especially in places like the dining room where we'll need to eat.
I feel bad - he'd LOVE to clean the garage but never gets time.
Oh dear, I've always known my husband was a keeper, but yesterday when we had dinner company over he sent me upstairs to nap because I'm 36 weeks pregnant. While I napped, he cleaned our entire house and watched our 3 year old...I better get busy counting my lucky stars :)!
I have him watch our daughter so I can get something done! He's also in charge of vacuuming, which is cute because our daughter follows him around with her vacuum.
We almost never have such company, just friends who crash in and don't care about the state of my house. If I really need "help" getting stuff done, usually the best thing he does for me is either take the boys to the store and the park so I can speed clean without the kids undoing everything or demanding something every ten seconds, or I'll take the kids to the store and he'll pick up and vacuum. We both hate vacuuming and dishes, but he is better at picking up than I am because I am too easily distracted. Before I put a book away I realize I've sat down and read twenty pages. Terrible. :) I would love to have him clean our garage, but it is just kids toys and a card table, so I try to sweep it out when the kids are playing.
Myhusband is responsible for cleaning 3 bathrooms...he's good at it!
Mine never cleans, but when I ask him to take the baby because I need to do something, all of the sudden he starts straightening up, putting the toys away etc....
Sometimes if I need something done, I have to tell him exactly what to do or put it in his hands, otherwise it won't get done, he's always taking his time, he's never in a hurry. I like to get things done right away, he likes to do them at the last minute, so I always end up doing what I ask for him to do if I want it done right away......
My mom calls that rearranging the doilies. Whenever there are things that absolutely need to be done, like sweeping up dog hair or mopping up unidentified sticky spots, my husband (and my father, apparently) can be found cleaning out the closet in the office or restacking the firewood in the way-back yard. I will be livid as I am vacuuming with a one year old on my hip and a three year old spreading out 7,000 matchbox cars across the kitchen flloor...again. But, once it's all done, I forget about the stress (and make him do the entertaining clean up).
My husband mows the lawn...for hours...anything to get outside and not have to clean...lol!
my husband will choose to cut the grass.