How Do Your Kids Earn Screen Time?

Updated on March 24, 2015
H.D. asks from Pope Valley, CA
13 answers

I've tried different ways of doling out screen time to the kids but nothing seems to work really well. How do you decide how much screen time your kids get? Do they have to do chores, extra homework, good deeds, etc.? Or, do you just give them a set amount of time each D.? My kids are 7 and 10. Thanks in advance for your help!

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So What Happened?

Thanks for sharing what works in your home. They are all great approaches and something to think about!

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I didn't dole out screen time.
She was allowed to watch tv while doing her homework, and the homework always got done.
She was in middle school when the internet became a thing. She was allowed to use her computer any time she wanted, as long as it was before bedtime.

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

Don't over complicate it. I just took it D. to D.. There should not be a huge amount of down time in their lives at 7 and 10. After homework, chores, activities and social life my kids never had a ton of time to stare at a screen.

Some days they could watch TV or play on the computer for hours and then not touch it for days. Now at 12 & 16, it's those tiny phone screens they love. Again, not a lot of down time but if I'm sick of seeing them stare at the phone or if it's an inappropriate place or time to be using the phone then I just say "put the phone away". Problem solved.

5 moms found this helpful
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C..

answers from Columbia on

My rule is that everything that has to be done, has to be done first (and to my satisfaction). After that, they can choose what they do. So, homework, cleaning, dishes, room picked up, laundry sorted/put away etc.

THEN free time, which would include screen time.

This builds in a natural consequence that I don't have to actively manage.... if they dawdle, do things wrong, throw a tantrum..... well, that impacts how much "free" time they have that D.. Easy for me. Incentive for them.

4 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I didn't limit screen time at all. As long as homework and chores were done, and as long as they had plenty of time outside/exercise they were free to do what they wanted, read, play, watch TV, play video games, whatever.
I wouldn't want someone micromanaging how I chose to spend MY downtime, and I didn't subject my kids to that either.
As long as your kids are otherwise active, busy and sociable I just don't see why fhis needs to be an issue.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

I guess I view it like everything - within moderation.

I agree with Mamazita and CoMoMom - as long as everything gets done that needs to be, I'm ok with screen time as part of fun. My kids play games together or watch a show to unwind - they're pretty active usually.

If it's purely out of boredom - no. Then it's limited. Then it's time to have friends over, go outside, etc. Same as the other moms have said.

:)

3 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Well, my answer will differ from the other excellent answers but here goes:

Our son has always had a really difficult time with morning/afterschool transitions and tasks. (He has some profound attention issues). Because I got tired of telling him what to do each morning, I started making "20 Minute Media Tickets" complete with a checklist on each one; he gets one for morning and one in the afternoon (this one includes homework and setting the table and one other household task). This means he's checking his list, which is the incentive ticket, and completing it independently. Once it's done, I will initial it and the ticket goes into a bowl where they are collected until they are 'spent'. I also give him 5 min tickets for doing things which can be challenging for him or generally noticing characteristics we'd like to see and good effort.

I will say that for the most part, we choose to limit media because he does have a tendency to hyperfocus and the longer we let him just sit and play or watch, the more we see him having a harder time with transitioning afterward. We are encouraging him to take breaks during his media time. Say, 20 minutes of a video game and yes, you can have another 20 minutes after we go for a walk, or maybe two episodes of Scooby Doo and we'll think about some extra time after we play/do XYZ and see how things are going.

I think every parent has to do what works for their specific kid. Because mine hyperfocuses, you won't see him building legos while watching tv-- he just can't. It's one or the other, so we have to give him some structure and really, for us, using the tickets as an incentive for learning the routines has been effective. Everyone will incorporate media into their family's life-- nothing wrong with that-- and we all have methods which work best for our own situations.

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i think a set amount of time makes way more sense.
doling it out frustrates everyone, and you'll make yourself crazy trying to stay on top of it all.
extra homework??
khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

My kids don't earn screen time. Screen time is restricted by necessity. They only have time to watch maybe an hour of TV during the week. On the weekend they may watch a couple of hours of TV, watch a movie and have a couple of hours of gaming. Between homework, extracurricular activities, chores and family outings there isn't a whole lot of time to waste in front of screens!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Our kids don't "earn" screen time. It would be exhausting trying to keep on top of that as a mom. We just have periods of time during the D. when the tv can be on. They trade off choosing a show. If they fight over the tv or the remote then it gets turned of immediately.

They ask to get on the computer. If it is a good time of D. for me to be in the room to keep an eye on the surfing then they get about 20-30 minutes. I set a timer.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Mine don't earn it. We have periods of time during the D. when electronics are allowed (in our house, it's before breakfast and after dinner as long as homework is done). Those parameters generally give them a max of about 2 hours of screen time per D.. Especially in the morning it works as sort-of a natural reward because if they get up and get ready for school quickly, they have more time.

1 mom found this helpful

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Mine don't earn it. They are 15 and 12. I have a chore chart on the fridge and it includes homework. Every D. during the week they MUST do what's on the chore chart before doing anything "fun". So they come home from school, get a snack, do homework, then their daily chore, then they can go on their electronics. They CANNOT take them upstairs and I collect them at night so they don't sneak on them. They are off phones and lnternet around 7-7:30pm and can watch tv for an hour then they are off ALL electronics until they go to bed. So they will read or write, listen to music in their rooms, etc to wind down so they can sleep. We have church during the week and sometimes will do things as a family so I figure between school and other activities, it may seem like they are on a lot but they really aren't. HOWEVER, their phone and tablets are the FIRST thing to go for 1-3 days if they do something wrong. So they don't earn it but they know it will be taken away if they act up. Good luck.

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G.D.

answers from Detroit on

My kids have several websites related to school that their teachers can check their progress on. So, after chores and activities are done and often just before I start dinner I will let them have screen time, but the first half has to be educational (Raz Readers, iXL, Compass Learning, Lexia). So, if I give them 30 mins 15 educational. 1 hour is max with 30 educational.
I've tried screen time as a reward and it just didn't work. This seems to work better and they are actually using the websites/apps recommended by their teachers.
This doesn't happen everyday, but I've been trying to make it happen every week night since its reading month and her teacher can watch her progress on Raz Readers.
On weekends I might give them an hour if they get bored when dad is watching American Sniper for the 100th time! If the weather is nice they generally don't ask for screen time.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Our TV's come on when they walk in the door and goes off when it's bedtime. They have some shows they'll sit down and watch but chances are they are going to playing toys and not be "sitting and watching". The computer is set for 2 hour intervals. He gets his time first then she gets her time. Some times they don't even want to be on.

Since I don't limit it it's not "out of reach". When a person is denied something they get focused on it and that's all they want. Since we don't limit it they don't focus on it. Some days the computer isn't even turned on.

I think you have to make your own choices. One of my friends got rid of cable and only had DVD's. Her kids would come to my house and sit in front of the TV almost with drool stringing out with glazed eyes. Like zombies.

I told her about it and she said she just didn't understand it. I told her to let them watch as much as they wanted and in a couple of weeks they'd get their fill and it would be so much less of an important thing.

She has cable now and they hardly sit in front of it except to watch a couple of shows.

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