How Do You Tell You Child.................

I would recommend that you speak w/ a counselor at Counseling and Behavioral Specialists (La Mesa) ###-###-####. They are well versed in helping children understand when things change, understand safety in an appropriate way, and know how to teach them to be self protective. They understand supervised visits, court orders, restraining orders, protective orders etc... Since the order is for supervised, I'm not sure if it will be at a relatives or at a court appointed location. If court appointed location, he will be watched like a hawk, and you can rest assure your daughter will be safe. If w/ a relative, you need to make it VERY clear that she is not to be removed/taken by dad. They need a "certified" copy of the court order and any restraining order in effect, just in case it needs to be enforced by police immediately. I know this sounds scary, but be careful. One of the responders below, made a "promise" to her child that after dad was well, everything would "go back to normal", never make a promise like that...bad advice. Please seek some professional advice on how to explain this to you little one, you want to do it right. Best wishes.

When my twins were that age I told them Daddy was sick. I explained that because he was sick in a certain way that time with him was limited and that when he got better things would go back to normal. I told them that because of the sick thing that he might do things that would not be safe and for that reason they could not go with him.

The most important part is not to speak badly of him. My ex is dead now (killed himself with drugs) but my boys know which one of us spoke no ill of the other.

Daddy isn't well right now, so a helper is there with you both until he gets better. She is only 3 and needs a very simple explaination. You don't want to frighten her or cause any more hurtful feelings than there is already. Take it a day at a time, as you never know what the future holds with your x-husband. He might one day choose a better path for his life. Your daughter needs to feel loved by both of her parents. So important in the grand scheme of things.

Why would you tell her that? She would just be scared and.. I would keep info limited until she asks-she's 3. What she needs to know is that you and daddy love her very much. If she knows daddy is "not himself" explain that daddy has a helper during visits while he's sick and "not himself". Protect her knowledge by giving her a strong foundation in you. That no matter what your the good guy and will always be there for her.

That's a tough one. I'm assuming you only have the one child who is 3 1/2 that your talking about. I wouldn't tell her that she can't visit with him alone for her safety. I think you and your ex should discuss how to approach this with her. If this is something you two can talk about with her best interest at hear then maybe you tell her that the person supervising the visitation is a friend of his. Normally I wouldn't advocate lying to your child but she is much to young to understand the situation and you don't want her to be afraid to spend time with him.

You didn't mention whether she will be seeing him supervised or not so I'm going with supervised visits. If none at all then I'm at a loss.