How Do You Stay-at-home Moms Spend Your Day

I have three kids 2 years apart and all three are teenagers. It's more of a challenge now to get the house clean, errands, school stuff, groceries and quality time done in one day. I've learned not to stress so much and to look at my calendar and then decide what I can and can't do and adjust everything else.
Most of the times this works but I usually end up sacrificing my exercise which I'm now determined to make a priority.

I've got only 1 kid, but I work from home. I finally bit the bullet and hired some cleaning help, which I'm really glad I did. That way I do the light stuff but once a week a gal comes in and does the heavy stuff (mopping, laundry etc...)

I was always bad w/a schedule. But then I realized that my son did much better when there were things in the day that he could count on and predict. I am of the mind that if a kid is tired, he should sleep...you can pick the "schedule" up the next day. My 3 yr old doesn't nap on a regular basis anymore, but will fall asleep in the car in the late afternoons, which means he's awake until late...that almost drove me over the edge, so, I wake him up a little earlier than 20-25 min, so it's technically a "power nap" and he wakes in a better mood. When I take him out of the car, I hold him and put on music, and he always wakes up happy, yay!

Good luck. I hope you've found some advice here that's helpful.

Best,
S. H.

You can spend as much time as you need to on anything. A schedule is best and ponly you know how long it will take you to do the things you need or want to get done. Just have activities like crafts to keep the kids busy. A movie for them is ok but try not to make it a babysitter. Activities are much more fun for them.

I know exactly how you feel. Here's what I did:

1. I decided that I would not go anywhere until at least 10 am (you may have to adjust if you are driving your older son to school). I get up at 6 am and do what I can to get my daily chores done. I decided if I don't get them done in the morning, I will make it up later during nap time.

2. I bought a bunch of index cards and I separated them in the following way: 1. daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly. I wrote down all the things I want to get done around the house and separated it on the index cards based on how often I needed it to get done (ex - clean the bathroom once a week on Saturday, clean the windows once a month on the 10th of every month).

3. I also decided that my daughter was going to take a nap at 1230 every day no matter what. She has to either sit in her room and read or sleep (she will usually go to sleep after a while, but some days she just fights it the whole time).

You also might want to check out the The Big Book of Family Fun by Gwen Ellis. It's a religious based book, but it has a lot of great time saving ideas to make more time for family time. Anyway, after 10am I give as much time to my kids as I can, except when they are napping I try to either get the rest of the chores done, get dinner started/prepped, or take time for myself.

Hope this helps.

There is a great website that might help. Flylady.net. It helps you get into a good cleaning routine so that you never have to do a lot of cleaning at once but your house always looks really clean, which of course gives you more time for everything else. It really does work if you stick to it and makes you feel better having a sparkling clean house all the time. I too have a hard time finding time for everything. Seems like the laundry is done but the house is a disaster or vise versa. And if I take my son to do anything fun for the day then the house is a WRECK! I think there is just not enough hours in the day! :) That website routine might really help though. Good luck!

Hi R.,
I love all the reponses so far...we moms do tend to fall into 2 camps: the "schedulers" and the more "flexible" ones!
I have 3 kids (9, 12 and 15) and I remember feeling just like you. I was always the kind of person who liked to have all my chores done before I went out to play. Well, I soon learned to adjust my expectations....there are literally not enough hours in the day to do it all!
Set small daily goals for yourself, decide which chores are a priority and go from there. You will soon discover how much of a schedule you need and are comfortable with.
And I agree with the mom who said to try to get up before your kids, not every day, just a few times a week. I know this is really hard (I was never a morning person) but that time of day is still absolutely my most productive time around the house.
Good luck and try not to be too hard on yourself :)
p.s. there's nothing wrong with napping in the car, if you want your 3 year old to sleep a little longer why not leave the house a little earlier than you need to and you can read/make phone calls etc. while you sit in the car and wait for school to get out?

Most of the advice I would give here has already been stated but - from my own experiences here:

No one is super mom. Your husband has to still help. Don't let him cop out on household stuff just because you are already home. When my husband tried this, I made plans for two whole days and he had to stay home with kids and house and get it all done. I made him lists. After that he understood what I had been saying all along - I couldn't/wouldn't/shouldn't do it alone!

Second and final piece from me: I just recently went back to school full time and I still work part time (although not from home anymore) and I have just realized this week that my babies are growing up too fast. One will be 10 in the fall and the other will be 5 in the fall. Where did my time go? Spend this wonderful time with your kids while they are still little and enjoy it to its fullest - they grow so fast. You can always scrub your walls later!

Good luck

I definitely don't have all the answers however I have 2 boy ages 4 and 6 and I can't keep to a schedule either. I try to start with the housework and go from there, some days it's all errands, some all house work, some I try to spend with just the kids and at the end of the day if everything else is done maybe I have time left to knit or do something else for myself if I'm not to tired. Some people can stick to a schedule but I never have , I have tried but it never seems to work. Everyone is different and you just do what you can and even if you do find that groove that works for you, you will still have to keep changing it as your kids continue to grow. Good Luck!

Dear R.,
Honey, you are not scheduling impaired. You have 3 little kids. It won't do any good to tell you how I did things because I only had two kids 9 years apart. But, one of my tips is.....I had to drive my daughter to school and back everyday because we were too rural. So, I bundled the baby up and we did our grocery shopping right after dropping her off in the mornings. There was almost no one in the store, there were no lines, always someone available to help me out to the car. I did the other errands in the afternoon after picking my daughter up from school.
Routines are very important. They do make life go along a little smoother. But there is that saying, "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry." There will always be something that will come up to throw your routine out the window, but you can always get back on track. And that's what husbands are for......Helping out so you can still keep things in order. Try having your 3 year old lay down again after you get home from picking up your oldest kid. Maybe him konking out or just laying quietly with a book will make the difference in his crabbiness. Maybe all of you can pile into the bed to read or have some quiet talk time. Or...get outside. Go for a walk. Play with sidewalk chalk.
You are juggling 3 very different age groups of children and you can do it. Just don't beat yourself up about being perfect. If you have one out of 3 grouchy kids, that's what you have and you'll get it figured out.
Do you watch John and Kate on TLC? They have 8 kids and dad helps out. Just because you stay at home doesn't mean that you don't work. Never forget that.
Blessings!

Scheduling??? Routine??? Those words do not seem to fit into my vocabulary, no matter how muich I wish they would!! Talk about scheduliing impaired! About the only thing I am good to sticking to is getting the kids to school and getting them home! Other than that the harder I try the worse the house is and the harder it is for my kids, because I get irritated! So you are not alone! I am going to try the website one mom suggested! My problem is sticking to the schedule! But will tell you one thing, my kis are just fine!! HAPPY AND HEALTHY!! If your 3 yerold has a hard time without naps I would definatly concentrate on that first! I used to put on soft music to help my kids fall asleep. Even if they didn't fall asleep I would at least put them down for quite time. You may just have to lie ther with hi, for a while, maybe all of you can take a "quite time" together during the day, I know it seems the best time to get anything done is while they are asleep, but like my mom told me the house and chores will always be there, but the kids will always be young once! One thing I did find that helped with the house and this was by accident. My husband reminded me, as we were going to bed, and my house was in rare form since I was on the go for two days, that we were haveing a visitor at 8am the next morning, needless to say the kids were in bed and we busted our rearends off to straighten up! Our house wasn't immaculate, but it was looking pretty good and we did it in about 1/2 hour. Now we try to do about 15 min to 1/2 hour a night together before going to bed, that way at least I start with a semi-clean house. He understands I have my hands full occuppying the kids duringt he day and don't always get to everything else, especially since me and schedules don't seem to get alonG!!! Hope this helps a bit or at least let's you know you are not alone!!! GOOD LCUK!

I too, am scheduling impaired. My poor children never had a routine. They ate whenever, napped whenever. Poor things. There IS not enough time to do everything when they are that little, that is the truth, unless you have enough money to pay other people to do everything. When my kids were that little we spent a lot of time at local parks, and I tried to squeeze in everything else when I could. Hiring a housecleaner to come in once a month took away much of the stress. Good luck.

And if you never learn to schedule, your kids will survive.

I'm a stay at home mom of a 2yr old girl. I'm due to have my second child in November so I'm sure my schedule will change but what I do is run ALL errands before 12pm and then I'm done. If I couldn't get to something, oh well, I'll do it tomorrow before noon. My daughter is up by 7am on her own so we are up, fed by 8am, dressed by 9am, and out the door by 10am at the latest. This is her best time for she is awake, fed and happiest. Around noon, we have lunch and her nap time is consistently around 1pm -1:30pm even if she protests. Of course, not everyday is perfect and runs like this but most of them do. Flexibility is important but so is consistency. Schedules are great because she knows what to expect everyday. I don't know if you take your 7yr old to school or if someone else does but run your errands after that and be home before noon. Don't cram everything into one day. Have lunch and then tell your 3yr old that we have a new routine and he/she needs to lay down and have quiet time/nap time before you pickup your 7yr old. Stick to it and hopefully he/she will expect it and respond to it favorably. I have a 3yr old niece and when my sister tells me to give her a nap when I watch her, I tell her as soon as my daughter goes down, her mommy wants her to take a nap as well and within 30 minutes she is sound asleep on the couch. I keep it as quiet as possible during this time. Of course, I don't know what your schedule is like in your house but it sounds like your 3yr does still mght enjoy 1 nap a day. If my niece doesn't nap at my house and falls asleep on the way home with her mom, she is super cranky when she gets woken up and is crabby the rest of the day so my sister would definitely relate with you. I read a book that helped me understand how important sleep/naps are for kids. It's called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. It gave really good advice and I enjoyed the book but it did stress me out some because I felt like if I didn't do it his way, I was screwing up but I came to the realization that every child is different and so is every situation so I took the advice in a general way, not specific. I hope this helps you and good luck.

We schedule a nice nap time/rest time for our two under 5 yr olds every day from about 2-4. I can either rest or read or do someth8ing w/o them for a little bit. It saves my day!

Sounds like your 3 year old has a schedule of sleeping in the car to pick up sibling. What is wrong with that? Nothing. I believe most children are cranky when they wake up from naps anyways so not really sure how you could fix that part of scenario. As far as mapping out your day you are the parent. The 11 month old may still be trying to get in the swing of things but you are the parent. Work with their schedules but if you need to do something at a certain time of day let 3 yr old and 11 month old entertain themselves for 30 -45 min. Or you could designate this time quiet time if vwon't nap. Make a game of it. It may take a week to implement (make it longer everyday eventually building up to 45 min.) As far as your husband seeing a cranky kid I had the same problem. The hours b/n 5 and 7 were not ment for children. My husband would come home from work and Baby would be cranky. Is this the only way my husband is going to see his child?(it turns out cluster feeding during that time helped a little and night time routine of pj's, bath, brush teeth, etc.)Just work with it. My husband was very understanding even though upset under his breath. You do the hardest job of anybody in that house- raise kids- so if your husband becomes frustrated suggest he take cranky kid out for a stroll or help with nighttime routine. Eventually it will help and he will build a great admiration for the hard working mom you are.. Other than that tell him to stay home all day with kiddos and you work.

I have never been big on routines and I HATE doing housework. I get done what I feel like getting done (or what absolutely HAS to be done) and don't worry about it from there. Whether my house could pass a white glove inspection or martha stewart would be appalled has absolutely no bearing on how good a mother or person I am. And when I figured that out .. I stopped worrying about it and get done what I can when I can.

However, you have to figure out what works best for you and your family. My kids are teens and pre-teens now and are as happy and healthy as the kids I know who's mom's have every last second of the day mapped out. It's about what works for you. If a super tight schedule isn't for you a modified one could work.

I will suggest moving the little guys bedtime at night to earlier if he's not napping. All 3 of mine gave up napping at about 2 1/2 and the battle over it just wasn't worth it to me, I just sent them to bed earlier, and they slept a little later in the morning.

Having the 3 yr old lay down at the same time the 11 month old goes down at least to relax would probably work too. When my youngest was a baby, when he napped it was quiet time for me and my daughter. We read or listened to music or just did something quiet. Sometimes that included watching a soothing nature program on tv or something. It seemed to work out well with her, and she occassionaly even would conk out and nap.

Anyway, hope some of my suggestions help. You'll find a rhythm that works for you. And once you do it'll smooth out.

Hi R.,

First and foremost, take a deep breath and relax. The first thing that I had to let go when I became a SAHM was control over the chaos. And as hard as you try, you're never going to get everything done - so cut yourself some slack.

Moving on... some helpful hints that I can offer are:

*Do at least one load of laundry a day - don't let it pile up or it will consume you!

*If you can, prepare your meals at a dinner prep place (I go to Now We're Cooking and Dream Dinners) - it saves you SO MUCH TIME (and money, when you price it out) and you don't have to think about or shop for dinner!

*If your 3yo doesn't want to nap, but clearly needs one, have mandatory Quiet Time in lieu of a nap. He'll most likely fall asleep during the time, but if he doesn't it can be as refreshing as a nap. Our Quiet Time is done with books in bed for 2 hours.

*Clean as you go. As hard as it is, it's even harder to go back and clean up EVERYTHING at the end of the day. Enlist the help of your two older children.

*Use nap time or Quiet Time to tidy up/ clean (or to simply sit and relax!!!).

Oh, and I try to schedule one BIG thing for the kids each day - that's our quality time together (aside from meals) - whether it be go to the park, have a play date, or whatever else may happen. This is the time of day that I focus solely on the kids and they have my undivided attention.

Hope this helps@

I'm a SAHM of 4 and would love to help you. I feel I do have some good tips for you. If you find time call me at
###-###-####. Otherwise the most important thing you need is discipline - for your own sanity. Discipline for yourself & your children must know this also. You must run the show - if they take over... heaven help you - it will be chaotic. Your 3-yr old must nap (2 hours a day would be good) If your 11 month old can sleep at the same time that buys you some down time. They need routine; have them napping aroung the same time everyday. Do some things that need to be done and do something you enjoy. You need to find something as simple as doing a daily crossword puzzle during your down time or reading... but something you can look fwd to and recharge. I rush through some surface household chores, laundry, etc... once it's nap time so that I can get to my quiet time. Errands should be run in the morning or later afternoon if possible so that you're not on the road when they need to be eating lunch and sleeping.

Believe me - once you get a routine in place everybody will be happier. Even if the children fuss at first until they get used to the new schedule - just let them fuss. Remember, you are in charge & they really need you to be. I hope this helps you & the main one - if you believe in prayer - start your day off with a morning prayer (maybe some good stretches too). Good luck R.!

Hi R.,

I don't have any suggestions for you. I just want to let you know that you are not alone. I have an 8 mo. and a 3 yr. old. I send my 3 yr. old to preschool all day so that I don't have to struggle with the different nap schedule. I have to say that the days when he got to stay home with me, I ended up exhausted and cranky. Perhaps finding a part-time babysitter could help.

C.

Hi R.,

Hang in there, it's going to get easier! I too am a stay at home mama to 4 boys ages 9,6, and twins that are 4. I home school my two oldest boys too! Believe it or not getting a schedule together is really quite easy, it's being consistent that makes it work! It's different during summer time because you have so much more free time with out a school schedule in the mix. How ever, the sooner you can get started in some areas the better. The biggest thing I did was stick to consistent nap schedules for my twins. This automaticly gives me 2 hours of ME time every day. Undisturbed time to clean, cook, do laundry, etc. The things that I really need to be left alone to do. Everything else just falls into play as the day goes along. Once school starts, that's a different story. Everything is very much to the hour on those days. We have a start time and end time every day just like a normal school day. You can also work your 3 year old's nap time around your older child's school schedule. When my 6 year old was in public school kindergarten I adjusted the twins nap time to fit his school schedule. That way I didn't have to wake them up early, just to pick him up from school. That alone makes a huge difference... I would be more than happy to talk more with you over the phone, and help any way I can with suggestions. The biggest thing truly is consistency though, because with out it you can't be successful. It helps everyone stay on the same page, husbands too! They need to know and help with keeping the schedule too! I've found using a big dry erase board makes life SUPER EASY! I write out the days plan (to include erunds), and it's there for ALL to see! My older boys can of course read, so they love to remind Daddy and Mama of the days events, and we keep each other on our toes! I hope some of this helps, and if you'd like to talk or get together let me know! I live in the South San Jose area. Just drop me an email and I'd be glad to help you more if I can! Just remember we're not Super woman! Life doesn't stop, so we just keep going! If it get it all done in a day hey great, if not, it's ok..I know I've had a great day, and my family loves me, and at the end of the day that's truly all that matters! Not the dishes in the sink, or the laundry that needs outing away! We need to live life, not be ruled by it!

God Bless,
L.

A little about me:
I am a SAHM to 4 beautiful boys. I am a Christian, and I'm happily married to my best friend. I love to sing, cook, camp, go hiking, and spend time with family and friends! I am a home schooling mama, and I love it! I love being home with my boys, and I love watching them blossom!

Dear R.,
I really don't have it together, but I know where you can go. Go to Titus2.com. They have a great book called mangagers of the home. I know lots of moms who have used it with great success.
Stac

R., I like to be spontaneous, but it tends to be unsettling for children. So I try to have somewhat of a routine for my son. I try to wake him at roughly the same time every day, have breakfast, then lunch at noon. Lunchtime is then the cue that it's time for nap. Sometimes he goes right to sleep, sometimes he will lay in his crib and play, sometimes he cries. Whatever his response, it is always naptime after lunch. He usually sleeps until around 2:30 give or take about 1/2 hour. He has a snack when he wakes, and I try to have dinner sometime between 6 and 7. Between 7 and 7:30 it's bath and story and from 8 to 8:30 he's in bed (usually--this summer things have gotten a little crazy).

I don't always make this happen. We are sometimes out and about and we are eating lunch on the run, but I try to always make it home by 1:00 so that he gets this nap.

I am really trying to keep up with a schedule, because I know it works for children. I'm a primary school teacher, and it is obvious to me which children are on schedules.

In terms of making time to clean, etc. I am trying to teach our son to put away his toys after playing with them and to put his dirty clothes in the hamper. For all other things, I try to gather them up in the evening after he goes to sleep, and I try to wake up some mornings earlier to do a little clean up. Also, I have someone come in every two weeks for two hours each time to do some cleaning (mopping, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, etc.). Also, my husband does his part by "cleaning" the kitchen in the evening before he goes to bed. He started doing that after I signed up for the Flylady website and explained to him that the kitchen was important to me. He watched me do it for a while, then sort of took over. Our sink doesn't shine every evening, but at least there are no dirty dishes, pots and pans all over the kitchen.

Remember, many hands make light work, even small ones.

Good luck,
J.

Hey R.,
First off you can't do it all, at least not everyday. You'll hate my first suggestion, but get up before everyone else. This is the time I quickly start my first load of laundry. I do at least three loads a day. My first load is the one that can easily be put away i.e towels, my husbands underware, and his work t-shirts. I then make my coffee and pull myself together for another hectic day. I know that my three year old will also fall asleep when I go to pick up my kids, so I take bills and mail with me and leave 45 minutes earlier, by the time I hit the drive up window at the bank, He is asleep. I pull into the school parking lot and make the phone calls that I need to make in the peace and quiet of my own little SUV office I then get the checkbook out and mail and by the time my daughter gets out of school we can either go home or I have her help with the three year old, while we go grocery shopping. I try to only go shopping once a week. My husband also wants quiet when he gets home. I make sure that the kids and I have eaten first as a family and then I have his dinner ready for when he walks in the door. I take the kids in to another room or just walk down to the mailbox and back. He gets his quiet time and then the evening seems to run smoother. I do feel your pain I have seven children, and the chores never seem to get done. Sometimes I get more done when I have a friend come over to visit with their kids. The kids seem to keep each other occupied, my friend gets a nice cup of cofffee and we talk while I clean the kitchen and wipe down the counters. Always quickly spray the counters right before your husband walks in, the kitchen will smell newly disinfected sending the signal that your on top of it all.

Hang in there

J.

My grandma had these cute embroidered aprons that had the days of the week on them and each day was a housekeeping chore with a little poem. Wednesday was wash day/laundry for example. I have found that the old school way makes sense - so I have assigned tasks for each weekday instead of spending 2 whole days a week ignoring my son to get stuff done. I lost my job recently and the extra time has caused me to get off schedule and now everything is a big mess - so I'm going back to my routine so I can enjoy time with my son as well as look for a job and get a few extra big jobs done - like dusting the blinds (yuck!)
Also, my son likes to help so I do some things when he's napping - like folding laundry to keep him from making forts out of the towels and when he's awake he loves to help water the yard and pull weeds and he loves to mop! I figure when he is old enough for chores he won't want to do them so I'm trying to enjoy it while it lasts.

who says you need a schedule? kids are very adaptable.
i work part time and stay home with my kids during the weekday. i am not acutally home much, becasue i like to keep busy with playgroups and errands, etc. my house isn't perfect looking, but I'm enjoying my kids.

I only have 1 child (almost 2) & I find that difficult at times! Honestly, I've really relaxed about needing to get every single thing done every single time.

I try to jot down in a planner or on a calendar my 3 to 5 top things I need to get done that week in terms of the house cleaning, grocery shopping etc. The rest is "fluff". My top priorities for cleaning are the bathrooms & the kitchen. Those are done for sure nearly every week. But the dusting, vacumming, etc. doesn't bother me as much. Doesn't seem quite so "sanitary urgent."

I definitely think schedules/routines are very important, both for kids & adults. It allows us as adults to indulge in the various times of "freedom" in our day without guilt. It also gives peace & confidence to kids that they can know ahead of time what the day will look like, that they will be getting a proper nap, they will be allowed to watch TV, but only on the schedule times, etc.

Obviously every family is different & what works for some, won't for others. Take some of the great suggestions you get, make out a plan & implement for a few weeks. Don't expect major change to happen overnight. I think I'd focus on the youngest child's needs first since the others can communicate better with you.

As for the amount of time spent cleaning, I have a somewhat small house (1200 sq ft) so I can easily do my chores in under an hour during the day. A larger home will require a little more time - all the more important to make a schedule, one that you can realistically do. Don't try to clean all the bathrooms on the same day if you hate cleaning bathrooms. That kind of thing.

Good luck!

I have 13 mos old twins & quit my job to stay home after they were born. It's the hardest job you'll ever love! At first, I stressed about getting everything done during their naps but now I'm bigging to be a little more relaxed. I try to schedule an outing each day (even if it's just an hour of errands). I hired someone to clean my house every 2 weeks so I could play with the girls guilt free. There's never enough time in the day so just relax, prioritize the important stuff & ask for help from your spouse or partner & family. For example, I forgot we were going out of town this weekend & I panicked because I had must do errands slated for this weekend so I could do them kid-free. I called my babysitter & asked if she was free for a couple hours. She came over & I took off for 2 hrs. . . running, running, running. But now I can pack & shower during their afternoon nap (if they ever decide to quit playing & lay down!)

I always have a schedule...it keeps me sane. During the school year it's mostly the same. Get up, dressed, make beds, breakfast, pack lunches and off to school. After school is snack, homework, piano, any sports practices, family dinner, family time, bath, reading and bed.

While my older daughter is at school I usually had other things to do with the younger one...ballet class, music class, play dates, dr. appointments, shopping, cleaning (the younger one is 3 and plays by herself pretty well if I need to clean the bathrooms or something). Or I'm watching my sister's kids or she is watching mine so I can volunteer in the classroom. I keep a calendar next to my computer and look at it everyday.

Summer time is different...it's fun everyday! No schedule...just swimming or playing or going to the park, etc.

Although she isn't napping anymore, sticking to the nap schedule was paramount because I knew I'd have 1-2 hours to myself. Now that she's 4 and will be off to preschool, naps are gone and have made my day a bit busier, but it still all works for me if I stick to my schedule.

Good luck!

I used to have the same problem when I would have to pick my daughter up for school or run a quick errand in the late afternoon. I keep my daughter up by singing to her or bringing a fun bright toy in the car to keep her awake, that way I can get her down for her regular 2 hour nap when we get home. If I know we're going to be out later in the day I try and get her to nap earlier around 1 but I make sure to take her out to the playground or on a long walk in the morning to tire her out for an earlier nap.

Good Luck!

I'm not staying at home any longer but when I was it finally dawned on me that I could get one outside errand done per day. Maybe two if they were little ones. My son was really cranky if he missed a nap so I was pretty religious about being home and having him in his crib between 12:00 and 2:00 or so. There's not enough time in the day -- that's for sure. If you can outsource certain things (e.g. do your banking by mail, grocery shop online, use an onsite dry-cleaning dropoff/pickup service at your husband's employer if they offer it... you get the idea), do it.

A bunch of people I know are enthusiasts of the FlyLady. I think the website is flylady.com -- anyhow she gives a lot of pointers on how to get your house organized (which is still a huge issue for us), by dealing with stuff and rooms etc. one thing at a time. For the short time I was able to stick to it, it did work...

If you're also the chef, maybe look into something like Dream Dinners whereby you can make a bunch of meals at once and have them ready in the freezer. Bagged salad and a whole bunch of sliced fruit is your friend.

Or you could just do as my grandmother advised me when I got married -- saute an onion so your husband thinks you've been doing something about dinner even if you haven't, and have his favorite cocktail ready for him when he gets home. Not sure, she may have written a book on 1950s housewife duties. LOL. Good luck!

I plan the days I'm going to go grocery shopping (for me, three times a month)-and always do it while my kids are in school. I look up the grocery sales before I go online, so I know what I'm looking for. I also meal plan-put calender on fridge and after checking sales-plan around what's on sale and shop accordingly. It saves me SO much time in the store!
I also do a quick clean in the AM (dishes, counters, sweep, vaccuum) and another in the PM. Helps contain the mess.
I only do laundry when there are full loads to do, about 2x a week.
I freeze a few dinners for later in the month-usually soup or lasagna. Nothing over-the-top.
And here's my BIG secret of success-I only do my deep cleaning, laundry and freezer cooking on Sundays. The rest of my week we have school, or I'm teaching. Sundays I have a pact with my family that this is what I do. No errands. Because I do my "maintenance" cleaning all week, it's not too bad-just regular stuff like toilets and tubs, washing sheets, etc.
As for activities-we're pretty lax about it. My 4 year old is home this year and we go to story time on Wednesdays. We go to the park "when we feel up to it" and we try to get to "open swim" on Fridays.
I've found my cleaning routine means the most to my sanity. I really have few errands compared to other moms. And activities, well, some are scheduled and some are spontaneous.
After saying all that-I've got a baby on the way, which means everything that I've established is going to go right down the drain!

Hello R.,
When I was a stay at home mom I had scheduled something for each day for my toddler. On Monday it was storytime at the library 10:00-10:30 afterwards I would go to the park with other moms or we would take turns at each other homes but we would always bring our own snacks and lunches so the mom of the house did not have to worry about feeding everybody. We would only stay and hour to an hour in a half because it was time for naps. When I would get home I would tell my toddler it is time for downtime and I have to rest also and usually that would work. On Tuesday I would it be a day out like just me and her time, Wednesday was catch up day for errands, Thursday was an activity day at the ymca or gymnastics, and friday was craft timeat home. On Tuesdays at Barnes & Noble at 10:00 or 10:30 we would go to storytime she really enjoyed that and afterwards we would go to Arby's and play with the other kids on the playstructure anyhting to ware her out for her nap. As for cleaning I would get up on Mondays early in the morning and do my cleaning that way I was done for the day/week other moms thought I was crazy but I liked the idea that I didn't have to worry about it and I could more time with my daughter now that I am back at work I do miss our special time of hanging out. Plus it gave us time for the museums or nature walk or something to get us going for the day even if it was a walk around the block. She enjoyed those times in the wagon a lot. Well my daughter is turning 5 soon and I can't believe how fast they grow she will be in Kindergarten wow the time flies.
I hope some of these ideas help good luck.

S. in hollister Ca

Hi R.!

Yea, this can be a bit overwhelming. But, just relax, you can make it work better for yourself :o) First of all, I found that it worked best for everyone to be on "the school schedule"....you have one in school, so I would start there :o) Here are a few opinions/tips that worked for me over the years. Thankfully, my husband doesn't put pressure on me to have "the perfect home"....I do that enough for both of us :o)

If your kids can wake up around 6:30-6:45 (at the latest), then your day will probably be "smoother". Your 3yr old is probably ready for "resting" instead of napping. Every 2-3 days he will fall asleep for a good nap, but he might be ready for that change of just resting in his bed with books.

I always tried to do errands in the morning, and no more than 2 hours.....my routine became everyday errands for 60 minutes every single day of the week. I thought it was too much, but to the kids, it was just part of routine.

Once you get your first 4 hours of the day on routine, the rest will usually fall into place. It's a good time to work on this, R., because your 7yr old will be playing sports (or something) soon, and you will need your morning to be "full" and accomplished, so you can run around for sports stuff after school.

As far as a clean house goes.....WHAT'S THAT???? I had to "adjust" my way of thinking on that one! As soon as it was clean, it wasn't any longer! Anyway, I "shifted" my mind to be happy with 1-2 rooms a day. So what if it took 10 days to clean my whole house, at least I knew it was clean underneath any toys. Anyway, we ALWAYS seem to find the time to clean when someone is coming over to visit :o) So, in my opinion, stick to the basics. I did write myself a small schedule so I would not get distracted. Example: Monday was the Living Room and Kitchen, Tuesday was the Family Room & Bathroom, etc....

Laundry....I began doing 2 loads a day (at least) to feel as if i could keep up with it. It was eaiser when I purchased laundry sorters to keep the "colors" seperated as I like to do laundry. I had sorters in every room, then I could easily go get the one "color" sorter I was washing without having to sort through clothes each time to get a load od laundry ready. This was a HUGE time saver, and now my youngest kids are 11 & 5 (the older ones are out of the house now), and I just switched to one hamper in their rooms (due to smaller rooms~bigger kids)

R., there ISN'T enough time to do it all.....well, ok, there IS.....I did it for a whole week a long time ago when all 4 kids were in the house, but I was totally exhausted, cranky, and needed MY own space more than ever. So, I decided it was NOT important to be a "super mom" who can handle it all with a smile. I decided to be a happy mom, with happy children, who have a happy schedule :o) THAT'S what was/is still important to me.....The house stuff will always be there ready for me :o)

R., if there is anything you like about my "insights", I'd be happy to send you an actual schedule that I tried to stick to. It really worked for me and my kids most of the time. But, in this email, I tried to target certain areas that helped me the most :o)

:o) N.

My suggestion - Oh, I am so sorry - Good morning R. - My suggestion is to remember that caring for your children is a full time 24-7 job. You should still be splitting chores and errand responsiblities with your husband (who I assume works outside of the home). Your first priority is their care and development. Pick your "cleaning pet peeve priorities" - for example, mine are clean bathroom, clean bed sheets, clean clothes and make sure those are handled for your own sanity and let the otehr chores slip or ask your husband to share in the extra or allow for outside cleaning help. Give yourself credit for working your butt off caring for three children - anything above that is awesome!

Hi R.

I'm a grandma :o) so I have a little more experience .... first remember that keeping a totally clean house is like trying to shovel snow in a snowstorm! However, it is possible to keep things orderly .... I raised 3 kids ...now of course all grown ... but I "recruited" the kids .... Before they went outside to play - they had to pick up what they were playing with .... before they went to bed ... I gave them their special basket and they went around the house and picked up what belonged to them and put it where it belonged.... they chose the clothes that they wanted to wear in the morning - especially if we had to leave the house early ... it avoided not knowing where things were .... they could just get up and put their clothes on...we play the "cake timer game" .... I would tell them that they had to do their chores before the timer went off (they didn't know that I sometimes backed it up!) Now with the wonderful Dollar Tree .... what a great place to reward them with something. I recently loved having my 5 year old grandson for a week .... I had 2 appointments he had to go with me ... I told him if he was a good boy we would go to the Dollar Tree each day after the appointment - he was angelic! I wanted him to know that he had 'earned' his toy and he chose a truck of course! .... but then we saw several really cute cars/trucks in separate boxes (11 of them) and of course his eyes lit up....yes - I bought them - but told him he would need to "earn" them by doing little things .... he thought that was so exciting .... he even asked to mop my kitchen floor for a car ... then each night he put his toys in the special corner he had created - one day he collected the little garbages around the house - he went to bed and stayed in bed .... all earning his 'treasure'. He called his Mom and told her that he was so excited that he was helping me and earning his new toys! Children need to begin to understand how things are acquired - it's not all about them getting-getting-getting...and it taught him responsibility...he loved it ... and of course I sent him home the ones left that he hadn't earned!

Back to my kids....We were the "B-team" (our last name) and in order for me to do all that they wanted me to do ....they had to help with chores and that gave me more time to play.
When you are folding clothes .... give them their little basket and tell them to put them in their bedroom and put them away - then bring the basket back to the laundry room.
When they get old enough - teach them to fold their own clothes .... at least the underwear and socks ...

We decorated canvas tote bags for different activities .... such as the dance bag (outfit and shoes went in there) Then the church activity bag for their mid-week class...etc. This avoided the last minute frenzy of trying to find the things that were for that activity .... they felt less frustrated... Also as they go to school - and you have to take them somewhere after school - it helps that you have what they need all in their "tote bag"

I had and still have a home-based business ... so when I needed to be on the phone, I had the "treasure box" .... I kept a box with different color books, play items and games that could only be opened when I was busy with my business and on the phone ... they looked forward to me being on the phone.

When my 2 daughters were quite little (18 months apart) I would have them play in their secret "hide-out" ... I put up a safety gate in their room and gave them a few treats (cheerios worked great) and that way I knew they were safe and I was able to concentrate on what I had to accomplish ... they thought it was great....

I love helping moms continue staying at home and having a great income also ... my business can be built in the "cracks of your life" .... wherever you are and you might want to check it out by calling my 3 min. business call:
1-800-891-2618 you can leave your name & number at the end and tell me the best time to call you. Or check out my website:
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http://poweredfromhomeSusanBushell email me or call me at the number listed on the website.

Just enjoy being a Mommy - it's the greatest blessing as you're helping mold their lives - my baby is now 34! ...so I have a little experience and can't believe "they are getting older!" .... I'm staying young!

Be encouraged - you will make it!