How Do You Know When to Start Kindergarden

Hey C. - My birthday is also in July & I started kinder at age 5. I never felt like I was in the wrong crowd (so to speak). I think it would be best for him to be in a class as one of the youngest rather than the oldest. It seemed to me that 1/2 the people were my age & the other 1/2 were older. Plus...I really liked the fact that I graduated high school at 17!!
Good luck - you'll make the right choice whatever it is!
H. B

I'm a July baby and started kindergarten on time. My mom stayed very active in my education. The nice thing about kindergarten is if you think after a year he still needs to grow a little more then hold him back. Sounds like he would do fine.

My son was barely 5. I put him in pre-k (which is tax deductible). I tried the half day and he wanted to be there longer, so we did full days. He was getting some schooling, but mostly just getting to socialize and have fun. I don't regret holding him back and I have NEVER met a mom who regretted that decision. I have met some who regretted not holding them back though. I am so very thankful we did the academics are hard enough, why make it tougher on them. Plus I was also a July baby and was not held back. Wish I had been. I always had to get special permission to do things b/c I was younger etc...

I have a son with a late June birthday. My son was so excited to start school and I didn't give it a second thought ~ so kudos to you for thinking ahead! I really do regret starting him when I did. He is struggling to keep up in the basics and we are now having to consider repeating second grade. Socially he seemed well adjusted but as time has gone by, his slight immaturity has been an issue. He lacks the impulse control demonstrated by other kids in his grade. I do think this has to do with the fact that he is almost a year younger than MOST of the other kids. The thought of having to say goodbye to all his buddies is heartbreaking at this point. So think it through. I think there are only advantages to being at the top of the class in age.

My now 18 yr old son was born on my birthday, in July. My mother put me in kindergarten when I was 5, we waited for our son until he was 6. I always felt as if I was struggling to keep up--more socially than anything. My son has had a great academic career and is a fine young man, solid in his morals, beliefs, boundaries, etc. He has done great academically and socially. Particularly with a boy, if you have the option to wait, take it and run. You will be very glad you did!! Good luck!

I have 2 sons, one started kindergarten when he was 5 because he was "ready"....mature and actually bored with preschool. The other is now 7 and is just now able to "succeed" at it. He was too immature to start any earlier. He just didn't have the attention span either. I think it's totally based on whether the child can handle it or not and you're the best judge of that. Worst case scenerio, he'd have to repeat and I'd rather repeat Kindergarten than another grade higher up. Good luck.

If your son is bright and knows right from wrong, ABC's, Colors, etc...he will be just fine. MY daughter's birthday is August 27th. She is and has always done great in school despite always being the youngest in the class.
Really if he scores good on the Kindergarten test he will be fine. TEach him how to use kid scissors, teach him how to write his name, colors, ABC's, over-under-beside, make sure he knows how to go to the restroom and to not ever be shy of asking the teacher to go when he needs to. I Taught in a KINdergarten class for 2 years and at other grade levels.
Good Luck,
A. R

My son who is now 6 started pre-k at age 4. My son never went to day care a day in his life his grandpa took care of him at home. He is now close to the end of his 3rd year in school. He is among one of the top advanced readers in his class. He does have some trouble with working on his own, but that was corrected within a 6 week period. His birthday is July 8 and he has absolutely no problems with maturity or attention issues. Like alot of moms have said it all depends on your child. My son did not cope with starting school very well at all. Since he was never away from home before pre-k it took him a good 3 weeks before he calmed down and didn't cry all day in school. And actually at the beginning of every school year it takes a good 2 weeks to stop crying every morning saying he doesn't want to go. But I think that is because I am a single mom and he is just more attached to me and not because he doesn't like school. Actually he tells me that he misses me too much, but he does enjoy going to school. So I say YES start your little boy. Oh and by the way my son did not know how to spell his name or read at all before he started school. He did know the alphabet of course by age two but everything else no. So good luck and I am sure your son will do just fine.

I held 2 of my sons back in pre-k. One needed the social development and the other just needed time (he was a premie). For the older one, it kinda backfired as he was way smarter and further ahead than his peers (he was reading at age 4) and that set him back even more socially. He is in private school, so they were able to cater to his academic needs.

We are sending our last son (also a July birthday) to kinder this coming school year. He is emotionally, academically, physically ready. The other 2 were not. He has the advantage of having 2 older brothers to compete with and that has helped him develop faster.

Is your son emotionally mature and able to interact well with others? Are his fine motor skills where they should be (my older boys were not at age 5- another reason we held them back)? Those are the thins to look at. You can also have him meet the kinder teacher at school and she can help you make a decision.

Let him go. Don't hold him back from anything. He will mature faster around other kids and adults and others' expectations. Let him go! My son will be turning 5 a few days before Kinder starts. I can't imagine holding my child back from anything educational. What happens if you let him start a whole year later. Then, he's a whole year older. Then, later on he fails a grade or gets horribly sick and has to repeat a year. Now, he's 2 whole years older. All the other kids and teachers will think he's just another kid that has had multiple failures. He will then be 2 whole years older than everyone else - and that is assuming he only repeats one year and doesn't have any other problems along the way. He will be 2 years more mature than all his classmates and won't fit in well or he will remain very immature for his age since that is where his peers are. Please don't hold him back. If you do, work with him a lot on your own and start him in 1st grade next year. Kinder is not a requirement for any child. But, don't hold him back.

might sound silly but ask your son. . . does he want to go to school. At 5 he should be mature enough, but if he doesn't think he wants to then maybe you could wait a year. . .

I know my daughter wanted to start "big school" at 4, of course the TX county we lived in wouldn't even let her in Preschool (we don't speak spanish was their excuse), but if he wants to go let him. . .

a down the road plus - - he will be most of the way through high school before he will be old enough to drive so you won't have that headache to deal with . . .

I am a Kindergarten Teacher and really think maturity is key! Some things I look for in students is; do they know their letters, can they write their name, can they recognize and count to 10, and can they sit for a lesson for up to 30 minutes? If by the end of the summer the answer is NO to these maybe he isn't ready. Yes, his maturity may be delayed but does that mean he won't be there by October? If he will get there during the school year send him, if you know him and think he won't don't!:) You would be surprised with the amount of socialization that we have how an immature kid can become quite adjusted!

Hi C.,

I admire the thought that you are putting into your son's education. I have six children, and started at 18, so as a young mom I wasn't aware of the challenges many children face in Kindergarten and how it effects their academic future. All of my children went to Pre-K for 1/2 a day before Kindergarten, except one - my May baby.
While in Kindergarten she did well on her work, but struggled with the inability to focus, complete tasks, and was easily distracted by others and/or her very own thoughts on what she should be doing. She passed Kindergarten; however, her teacher approached me with her concerns about the experiences and challenges my daughter may have in First Grade, due to her lack of maturity. She made a recommendation that my daughter attend Pre 1st. It is a specially designed program (you'll have to check if your local school district offers this same program)that allows the children to advance, not repeat that which they have already done, not be with the "little kids", and helps them work on their social & study skills all while maturing and being more prepared for 1st grade. This benefitted my daughter a great deal! The classes had kids she already knew, were smaller so she received more individualized attention (10:1 ratio), and allowed her to grow and mature without feeling left behind by her former classmates. She's now in 5th grade and doing beautifully!!

It is definitely a personal decision and I wish you all the best! Your mom and you know your son best so whatever decision you make will be the right one for your child! Make it a great day!

J. F.
Moms Helping Moms Work From Home
www.4MeAndMom.com

C.,
It's hard to say since we don't know anything about your son (e.g., developmentally speaking).
Like your son, my son will turn 5 next July and we intend on putting him in kindergarten when school starts a couple of months later. We think that will be perfect timing for him since he'll have turned 5 before going IN to kindergarten. However, my son has (to my knowledge) progressed fairly normally for a child of his age, both physically, socially, and emotionally.
Unless there is some unusual setback for your son, I would think there wouldn't be a problem for him entering kindergarden at 5 years of age. However, if you're still concerned, you can always start him in pre-school right now (spring/summer) and see how he does. That is a good way to get him prepped for kindergarten.

HTH,
Jen

It is a hard decision, but usually with boys it is alwyas better to hold them back with such a late birthday. I know from my own experience, I had to put my son in Kindergarten (July baby) at 5 in order to get some fine motor therapy. I do plan to have him repeat just because he will definitely fit in better, maturity wise next year. There were so many older 5, almost 6 when entering Kindergarten that my son just didn't click with because of the maturity issue. Just go with your gut, I am sure you will make the best choice.

He will be fine. My son started kindergarten this past fall 2008 and we are about to complete the school year in May 2009. There are 16 children in his class and only 5 kids so far have turned 6. They are all cute kids, some more quirky than others. The girls all behave, the boys a little more hyper and loud. Just thought I would share my childs classroom with you.

This sword has two edges. I appreciate it when parents are concerned about their child's maturity. However, please remember that if you hold your child back now, he will be six when he begins kindergarten. Fast forward 12 years - and he will be 18 before he enters his senior year in high school. At that age, teachers will no longer share information with you about your child - ie: grades, health or personal issues. I personally feel that you can deal with the maturity isues easier at age 5 when you can control what they do, whereas at age 18 you have little say so.
Just food for thought......

Put him in school. The purpose is to help him mature and grow. You will be surprised at how well they adjust to being around others at that age. The age won't make a difference. I believe that the earlier you can get them in there and start adjusting to school life the better. Waiting another year won't necessarily prove him/her to be more mature.

Check out the posting from Melinda S. on Oct 16, 2008. It is similar to yours and she received some great advice.

Here was my response.

We are still very good friends with our child's kindergarten teacher. She has always said you will know if your child is ready for kindergarten if he can do the following things.

Can he sit and listen to an entire picture book without getting up and being distracted?
Can you give him 3 directions and he can complete them without any help. Ex: "Honey, please go to mommy's room and get her purse, then please find my sunglasses in the purse and bring me my sunglasses to the kitchen?
Can he write his name? (does not have to be perfect).
Can he go to the potty all by himself? Can he dress himself?
Can he open and then drink from a small carton of milk?
Teachers also note that most kids all even out by their third grade year. These younger children who have been given lots of attention and have been in daycare are also a bit more prepared for school.

You are correct, many boys are not ready for school late summer, but there also many that if held back will be bored and then can become disruptive once they start school. You will know in your heart. Follow your mommy heart and brain, it will tell you.

Hi C.,

What an important decision! One of my children is an August baby and we faced the same choices. As a Life Coach for busy parents, I want to jump in with some thoughts on this important decision.

All children mature mentally and socially on their own timelines, and those timelines cover a range of ages. The calendar age of a child gives a general indicator of where he or she might need to be in school, but individual factors are what parents should consider in the end.

Several factors will play into your decision including how he interacts socially with others, his ability to follow the routine in the classroom and his willingness to apply himself to his tasks. Has your son been in any preschool setting yet? If so, how is he doing with his social interactions there? If your son has not been in a daycare, Mother's Day Out or preschool setting yet, then one year in a preschool atmosphere will help him learn many skills that will help him be more confident and successful when he goes to kindergarten.

If your son has been in any of these settings, then speak with his teachers and see what they recommend. In my case, my son's teacher noted that my son was really gifted in many areas AND that he would benefit from another year to mature socially before entering kindergarten. There was no slight intended in her advice - he simply needed another year to mature and I was grateful for her insight. Her advice proved golden. He is now a happy, well-adjusted, successful middle schooler. There never was any judgement of folks around his age.

If you'd like to discuss this more, feel free to email me.

Good luck!

Parent Coach J. B

I see you have received a lot of responses but still I would like to give you my advice on the subject. I too have a son that has a birthday on Aug.24. He barely made it in to kindergarten. No one ever told me not to send him and I never thought twice about it. He was a bright child. He did great through kindergarten and at the end of the year his teacher called me and said she thought he would do great in pre-first(our district has one class a year that is in between kinder and first) due to social reasons. I was heart broken because academically he was great but socially he was behind. His teacher said that if he couldn't stay in his chair and stop talking he would then get behind in his work (our district is much tougher than the surrounding ones). She also stated that did I want him to go off to college at only 17. So much to think about. After lots of thought and consideration and tons of conflicting advice we decided to put him in prefirst. He did great and is now finishing up second grade with high A's and is socially doing well also. It is tougher with boys and still a problem with sports since he is either the smallest or biggest but we can move him up or down for now but in school is the based on grade level. I would definetly go ahead and send your son to kindergarten. If you think he is ready then don't stress too much on his age and maturity. Kindergarten will tell all and you can decide at the end of that year if he is ready for first grade or not. There are not too many kids that don't make it in kindergarten and that is so much learning that he would miss out on otherwise. Even if it turns out he has to repeat or there is a prefirst in your area then he will be that much further ahead academically. It will be easier for him and his self esteem will be great.
Sorry this is so long. Hope this helps some. But ultimately you are his mother and know him best. I also have a daughter that has an Aug. birthday and we will send her and go from there.

My sister is a Kindergarden teacher. Her son was born in July. He will be 2 in July, but she has said since he was born that she is going to wait until he is 6 to put him in Kindergarden. She said the boys aren't as mature as the girls and from her experience the boys with summer birthdays have a hard time. Maybe you could try a preschool this summer and see how he does.

Go ahead and start him. Talk to his teacher early in the year--a good resource for how your son is doing. With the attitude that he can repeat kindergarten if the maturity is an issue, or he can go on to first if he experiences a "maturity growth spurt" you can make a more informed decision as the year goes on. Good luck & God bless!

We went through this with our son. He turned five the day school started. We put him in and there have been good things and bad things about it. We put him in with the knowledge and after talking to his teacher that if the year was difficult that we could always have him repeat kindergarten with there being no real issues.
It turned out to be a great thing for my son. He is incredibly bright and he is large for his age. He has issues at times because he is so much younger than some of the other students in his grade (he is 1 to 2 years younger than many of the kids). He is now in 5th grade and sometimes he asks me why we put him in so early and I tell him to go hang out with the 4th graders for a bit and see if he would like it better. He would be a giant there and sometimes he thinks it would be cool, but he usually agrees that he likes it where he is at.
I recommend that you let him start now and hold open the option to get ti do it again. Be open and upfront with the teacher about your reservations and they will be open with you about how he handles things. Kids will usually step up to the challenges that are presented to them though.
Good luck.
B. M.

As the mother of 3 sons, the GM of 3 boys and the GGM of 2 boys, I say hold him back. It's not fun being among the youngest in the class, which is what he would be. Give him that extra year of growth and time at home with you. Enjoy the last year you will have him totally to yourself. There are a lot of children (especially boys) who are held back a year. It's better to hold him back before than to send him on and find out that he really wasn't ready and the teacher suggests repeating. That, he wouldn't understand.

This is one of the hardest decisions you will have to make as a mom.
I have 2 kids a daughter and son who have the same 5 yr. age span between like yours do.
My son has a July 31 bday and he started Kndergarten 2 weeks later. He is the youngest child in his class. He is in 2nd grade now.
He still isn't as mature as my daughter was at this age. I never thought of not having him go to school at age 5. He had been in montessori school since 18 months.
He handled school just fine.
The one thing to keep in mind is if you do put him in kinder and he is having trouble , you can withdraw him, keep him home with you for the year and re enroll him next school year.
you will get alot of advice here, remember, go with your "mommy instincts" and ya'll be just fine.
Good luck.

Your son's preschool teacher would be a great person to ask about this. If you believe your son would do fine, than send him on.

You have received a lot of wonderful advice. As a mother whose son turned 5 the week school started I have some experience in this area. My son is a smart child, but his maturity level is somewhat not up to par as other children in his class. He has a problem with concentrating in class as well. He did well the first few years of school but now that he is in 5th grade and next year will be going to 6th it really worries me that he is not mentally or mature enough for 6th grade. Middle school is so different than elementary. If your son already shows signs of maturity such as being helpful, being tidy all without having to be told this can be an insight on how his maturity level is. By showing some sort of responsibility at this age you will be able to tell as well. At this point I wish I would have known what I know now and held him back to give him that extra year to mature. Throughout the last year I have given him extra responsiblities to see how he handles them and sometimes he succeeds and sometimes he doesn't. Believe me that extra year makes a difference. Only you know your child, simply by taking in all this information to consider hopefully you will be able to make the best decision possible for your child. Best wishes from one mother to another.

Hi. 2 of my boys are @ the end of July. one I put in Pre-k twice.(I held him back) the other one is currently in Kinder & will move on to first in the Fall. I think It depends on the child. If this will be his first exposure to a school, I think holding him back is good. have him repeat. Putting him in @ 6 would totally set him back but having him do kinder twice would be ok. good luck

Let me tell you from the childs view. My 9 yr old neighbor girl is in the first grade for the second time. This to her shouts that she wasnt smart enough to keep up with the other kids. I have explained to her on 4 different occasions that it was because she was the youngest in her class and now she is the same age as the rest of the kids, that she is now exactly where she is suppose to be ( she says she is suppose to be in second grade but she was held back) because now she is making good grades. I suggest holding back the kid now because its easier and a self esteem booster to jump a kid ahead. Just one opnion. Good luck. Hope what ever you choose works out for you.

I highly recommend that he wait to start school. My son did and it makes all the difference. Maturity is not there for boys..it takes awhile for them to catch up. i think anytime you can give them a leg up I would do it and having him be the oldest child is a big deal!

Boys do tend to develop later. My son's birthday is Sept. 1st and I held him back this last year. So, this year he will start at 6yrs. This year, for him, has made such a difference on his readiness for school. The maturity level has really changed. Only you will be able to tell if your child is ready. Have a talk with your son about school and what all they do there. See how he reacts to the infomation. Get a pamplet from your school on the things your child should be able to do before entering Kindergarten. Only you know best! Good luck!

Hi! My son is a Dec baby & in 8th grade. We have 2 daughters 6 & 8 yrs older. So I thought great he is already older when he started school. I wish there was a way I could have held him back another year. He has done well in school - in the GT program, band, Boy Scouts - working on his Eagle, etc. But he didn't start really growing until 7th grade. Take a look at the 5th grade kids at your elementary. There are many who are 5' to 5'7" and by middle school many have already slimmed down & started looking so much older. In 8th grade many are hitting 5'8- to 6'tall. We had bullying problems in 5th & 6th grade. We know of others too. Plus, more time to mature before they are with kids who will be offering temptations & driving, girls & other pressures.
My son will be in a group going to Philmont for BS this summer. You have to be 14 by a certain cutoff date. If your son were in the troop, in the same grade he wouldn't be allowed to go. & There is a 2 yr sign up so the soonest a troop would go again is 2 yrs. Most its 3 yrs. Our church goes to Camp Barnabus a special needs camp for mission trip. If you are not 16 then you get to help in the kitchen & bathrooms. Which is fine but he'll be with the kids from a lower grade that year. It isn't just kinder year he will be adjusting.
Take care,
S.

Clarissa,

Wow! You've received some great advice. You really don't need ANOTHER posting, but have recently struggled with this as well, so I feel compelled to share with you my decision. These are the biggest things that helped me decide to hold my son (soon to be 6 in June) back for Kindergarten this year (actually he did Kindergarten at a different private school this year, and then he will start Kindergarten in another school in the Fall)...

1. I'm not worried about if he's ready for First or then Second grade - I'm more concerned about 3rd, 4th and 5th grades and even down the road. I regretted not holding my older son back when he was little - so many regrets I've had now that we've gone thru the heartbreak of correcting it, and he's now doing great in middle school, but I should have avioded that heartbreak for him and our family.

2. Someone once told me that you never regret holding them back one year when they are little, but as we all know, sometimes people do regret NOT holding them later down the road.

3. A elem principal recently told me that they are more likely to be comfortable and confident and be a leader if they are on the older side of their class, rather than feeling like the "baby" of the class and feeling that they fall into the "follower" role. Of course that heavily depends on their personality, too. For many, that would NEVER be an issue no matter the age difference!

Just some things to think about. There are so many kids that do just FINE and, of course, and excel being on the young side, but I've decided to give my youngest the extra push to really feel confident and ready and have every advantage for success. Also, being a boy I know they mature slower than girls. Honestly, there is no right or wrong, it's really a personal decision and one that you need to make based on your child. Whatever you decide, he'll probably never know the difference. I wish you and your son the best of luck!

When we put our barely 5 year old girl into kindergarten she was picked on and almost bullied by the other children. She was also forgotten in the classroom and lost at least one other time. We pulled her out since her maturity was not there and decided to homeschool her for a year or two. We have never looked back and she will be in 5th grade next year. She has blossomed into a wonderful young lady and I think it was the best thing we have done. She is above grade level on almost every subject and could not be more positive about learning. Normally many children seem to lose the love of school around the 2nd or 3rd grade. Not to mention we were thinking ahead to the jr high/high school years. She was going to be 1 year younger than many of the other children and therefore would not have the same priviledges as those children. I was in this same situation and it was horrible sometimes. Just as an aside to others who are saying he needs to be in daycare to learn social skills with children his own age...my daughter was in daycare until the age of 3 and this did not help her one bit. You can socialize your children with other children without putting them in daycare. HTH

I would hold him back unless you have a reason not to. It can not hurt, and there are so many reasons how it can help. Remember these kids are being exposed to so much more than we were, why make him the youngest to do so. He has the rest of his life to grow up, let him play and be on top when he does start!

Hi C.. I am a 31 yr old sah mother of 3. All of my kids are late. I think that you should let your son go ahead and start school now. It will help him in the long run. My son, yes like many, was a slow developer. I did not send him to preschool, he went straight to kinder. He was held back his 1st grade year, because he was not ready to move on. But now he is doing alot better. Kinder usually starts children at the age of 5. I just feel that if he is ready himself, why hold him back. I also think it is good for them to go to get good social skills and meet and make new and more friends. My youngest was scared to start kinder this year, but she loves it now because she has made so many friends and is doing such a great job in school.

I would sign him up for kindergarten and then work on his maturity during the summer. If you can afford it I would put him in daycare for the summer. If not day care look into a pre school, or mother's day out program. Interacting with other kids without you around will make him ready for kindergarten. He will gain some independance and learn how to interact with children his age.

I can relate to your situation. My daughter and nephew are the same age and were both born in Aug. I put my daughter in early and all is fine. My SIL waited on putting my nephew in kindergarten till the next yr for a few good reasons: he needed more focus for learning and she wanted him to be physically bigger (and not the smallest) and therefore safer for sports. We were both dead on. It is difficult for kids to not pass kindergarten and have to retake it because they were not quite ready. They will watch their friends advance to a new level (when they do not) and sometimes kids can be mean. Good luck

My B-Day is also in July. I did not have any problems in school. I did very well and would make the AB Honor Roll in high school.

Hi C.
I would say keep your little one at home as long as you can. The extra year will greatly help him as he advances in school in later years- You can give him all the attention he still needs and still help him learn at home. Just by reading to him and helping him with his numbers and letters will help him later- my experience with my children that had birthdays in june and july was that my daughter born in July did pretty well- but my boy born in June - we had to hld him back in the first grade- and that was even after kindergarten- starting structured school too early can do more harm than good in some cases. If you think he is ready- then send him- but if he begins to show disinterest- or begins acting out I would say he is not ready and should stay home one more year. You might try something gradually- like a two or three day day care situation before the real thing.
good luck and blessings

My son is only 13 months old so I haven't had to think about school yet except to agree with people when they remind us that we are in a great school district. However, my sister in law has a son who will be five in June. She plans to put him in kindergarten in the fall although he will be young. She is just planning for him to repeat kindergarten unless he seems to do really well. He's in a full-time pre-school program now so the choice wasn't between him staying home with her and kindergarten but between the two programs. She figures he will learn more in kindergarten and they can deal with him staying behind to repeat if necessary. Something to think about.

I have 3 boys with May & June birthday's who barely were 5 years old when they started. What I would recommend is yes put him in Kindergarten and let him go through it, the social aspects and the bits he will learn are a good foundation, then if needed let him repeat Kindergarten. I had two of mine repeat kindergarten and 1 I let go on straight to 1st grade, I really think this was good for them. My oldest one is now in his first year of college and doing well, the other is going into 6th grade next year, the youngest was the only one I didn't have repeat and he will be going into 5th grade. The reason I didn't make him repeat is because he is so close to his brother who is 1 year ahead in school. They do everything together and learn at the same pace.

I have 3 boys and 2 girls. My oldest two sons were both born in October. One of my girls was born in late June, and one in December. My youngest son's birthday is in July. He will be 8 this July, and we waited a year for him to start kindergarten. Every teacher that I spoke to about this agreed that we made the right decision, and there were even a couple who chose this route for their own sons. My daughter with the June birthday was an honor student, and graduated from high school in the top 10% of her class. I think that boys, though, mature at a much slower rate, and I can't imagine having sent him to kindergarten, only to have him fail and be held back because he just wasn't ready. Still, it is ultimately your decision to make.