How Do You Know When to Get Things "Checked Out?"

I really think that if you won't stick with a therapist, you won't get better. Find one that deals with OCD. And STICK WITH this therapist. That's the first thing you must do.

I suggest that your extreme anxiety is causing you to not stay with a counselor long enough to trust her/him. I have taken various SSI medications and know that often one doesn't see results for several weeks. I've also learned that when one doesn't help enough to try a different one or a combination of meds. I have depression and anxiety but nothing like you experience. I'm now taking the highest recommended dose of 2 medications. The nurse practioner and I worked at finding the right meds for 3 months before we found the ones that work.

I suggest that instead of focusing on physical symptoms you focus on getting emotionally healthy. Getting physical issues checked out will not reduce your anxiety. There will be another issue to check out.

For many years I've been seeing 2 mental health practioners. A psychiatrist or nurse practitioner for meds and a social worker for counseling. My condition is mild in comparison to yours. I suggest you are experiencing more than anxiety and depression. I suggest that seeing a psychiatrist or mental health nurse practioner is necessary. Both have training in physical health to. I urge you to discuss with them how long you need to commit to treatment before you can expect to feel better. Then make that commitment in spite of your anxiety.

I empathize with you. My anxiety seems like nothing compared to what you're experiencing. I was having difficulty doing many tasks. You can feel less anxiety and depression if you will commit to sticking with a long term treatment plan.

well, i don't JUST leave it all the doctors. i do self-checks of skin, and breasts and so forth and try to be body-aware.
but no, i certainly don't obsess over it, and i think you know quite well that most people don't.
you must be exhausted, hon. it sounds like it's eating up all your thoughts and all your joy.
it's time to make your mental health your priority, far above and beyond your obsessive checking. if you took a medication and it didn't work, you need to go back to the doctor with whom you're working and try again. many many many people with mental quirks have to spend a lot of time patiently tweaking both the type and the dosage of meds to get the right one, and even then it can be in constant flux. if you want to obsess over something, try to switch your focus to getting THAT right.
stop quitting your counselors. make it a goal to find a good one and then WORK with her. if you keep quitting you don't really know if they can help you or not. this is not a quick fix.
and for heaven's sake, take your meds as they're prescribed. addiction is a real issue, but you're already deep into obsessive/compulsive anxiety-ridden behavior.
you've had meds prescribed. you've had counselors you've ignored. you have meds you don't take correctly. and yet you're here hoping that non-medical-professionals are going to give you the magic bullet.
and you know that's crazy. i know you do.
the answer to your actual question is that i go to the doctors i need when i need them. basic checkups once or twice a year, and specialists (dermatologists or physical therapists etc) when a situation actually calls for it, not just so that i don't miss something.
the answer to your implied question is that you need to start going regularly to both a good GP AND a good mental health doctor and actually following their advice. to the letter. work WITH them to get yourself to a better place. the ongoing self-sabotage must stop.
good luck, hon. you can do it!
khairete
S.

What do I do, if you are looking for a guidepost?
- PCP for a physical every other year, and as needed when I'm sick (not usually more than once per year)
- OB-Gyn for checkup annually
- mammogram every other year now that I'm over age 40
- skin check every other year, per my dematologists recommendation (and I have had dysplastic nevi, so even at relatively high risk, she only recommends every other year)
- dental cleaning and checkup twice per year

As for your implicit question as to whether or not your anxiety over your health is typical - the answer is no. I do not think about checking myself on a daily basis - my goal is to do it on a monthly basis, but to be honest, I usually forget. So I probably do a quick skin check and self breast exam twice per year.

The doctors you SHOULD be seeing on a more frequent basis are the ones you have given up on - a psychiatrist and a therapist. Unfortunately, mental health treatment is a bit of trial and error - you start with one med, you keep in close touch with your psychiatrist as to how it is working. If it's not, you try a different one or a combination or you change the dose. It may take a while, but please try.

Okay. So you are telling yourself that meds are bad, so even though they'd fix the problem you can't take them. Been there.

I asked my doc to put me in the hospital where they'd make me take my meds and then I'd get it all figured out. Then when I came home I would be over my issue and I'd take my meds.

I did that a couple of times because I always stopped taking them. This is typical of this issue.

I worked with a therapist for several years and got to the root of my anxiety/panic and I don't need meds anymore. Ever. I am back to pretty normal.

You just have to decide you are in control of your body and that you are done with these behaviors. Check yourself into the hospital in the nearest psych ward. Then get the doc to make you take your meds. You won't get better without them. They are a tool to help you cope while you work through therapy. Then when you're better mentally you can usually wean off the meds.

In the case of OCD it might be that you'll need some sort of medication the rest of your life.

I know what I'm talking about. I KNOW! For factual basis, I have been there, done that, again and again.

Until YOU decide who's the boss of your life and your body you are going to live exactly like you're living today. It's up to YOU to go to the doc and beg them to admit you.

Why do you need to go inpatient? Because.

In the hospital you are in a safe place. If the med makes you stop breathing? You're in a hospital, they'll fix it. If you have an allergy to the med? You're in a safe place, they'll fix it. If you are taking a med that is addictive then ask the doc to try one that isn't addictive.

ALL meds can become an emotional addiction, like taking a baby aspirin a day. Aspirin isn't addictive in itself but the emotional dependence on it would say "If I don't take this aspirin today I will have a heart attack and die". Probably not going to happen unless they are seriously near death anyway but they get emotionally dependent on that pill and then it's hard to break that. Inpatient services will help you get well.

Do you really want to be well? It will happen when you are able to take control of your life, take your meds, take your meds, take your meds, take your meds, and work through the issues that can be fixed, not biological issues, but the mental issues, then you will be fixed.

It's up to you. Call your doc that prescribed the med. I hope it's a psychiatrist because an MD or DO or family doc is not qualified to give you mental health care. You need to see a therapist and have a psychiatrist prescribe your meds.

RM-- you have a whole history of worried questions here. I'm not saying that to put you down, but my concern is that you are focusing solely on the physical and not as diligently on your mental health.

Have you thought to try another anti-anxiety medication? Have you thought about committing to a counselor with the same vigor as you are committed to finding 'something wrong'? I'm not trying to hurt your feelings here, but you are asking a question of 'what is normal' and the fact is, some other person's 'normal' isn't going to help you.

I'm also going to come out and say something which some people don't like to hear: Sometimes, people will need to be on medication all their lives. Not 'addicted', but until you get to a point you can manage your extreme anxiety, your entire family is directly affected for the worse. This isn't to make you feel bad. I know how hard it is to hear. I struggled for years with my moods and behavior, and although I did have a consistent, long term relationship with a counselor which was very beneficial, it was finally when I decided I was sick of being jerked around by my anxiety and sought medical help -- THAT was what improved life so much for us.

Sometimes, when bad things happen which are traumatic and upsetting, we tend to want to control the situation/conditions around us in the hope that it will never happen again. The fact of the matter is that life can't promise us that. So, instead of dwelling on possible physical diseases, consider contemplating your *quality of life*. What will it take for you to thrive, feel good, feel free? Can you accept that you have a profound level of anxiety which may require long-term medication? You can keep asking questions here, but in my (humble, I don't know you, just what you've written) opinion, you are focusing on the wrong parts of your body right now. Focus on your brain chemistry. There is no shame in wanting to be a better, happier, more balanced parent. The only shame would be to leave this untreated. You sound like you addressed your skin cancer aggressively-- do the same for your own mental health.

I am sorry you are living with so much anxiety. Must be very difficult. I know stress can lead to physical symptoms too, cause for more worry.

Marda gives excellent advice. You really need to find the right person who can help you - get you on medication and also set you up with a counsellor. I would not focus on your symptoms (easier said than done) but focus on this important step now.

My husband was given medication for stress (antidepressant/anti-anxiety) to help ease his moods. He was getting a bit tight. He had to be on it a long time to notice the improvement. He was also told that to be effective he would also have to make changes in his life. He had to reduce stressors. Counsellors help here. In his case, the goal was to wean off the medications in time, once he'd been at a level place to make changes in his life to reduce stress. Unless you do all three - counselling, changes and medications - you might not be terribly successful.

Good luck and keep us posted :)

Welcome back to Mamapedia!

I know you have a lot of anxiety as I remember many of your old posts, so obviously you need to continue to try to find a good counselor and a good medication regimen that you can live with but which will help control your obsessions. These issues are things you will pass on to your children, and they will grow up with a legacy of panic or of sort of throwing up their hands at health issues, which I'm sure you don't want.

One of the most important things for me is to stay off the internet - googling symptoms can throw you into a complete panic.

For me, prevention is the key. That's even more important than "catching something early", you know? Just preventing it in the first place. So I definitely stay on top of things like epigenetics, which continues to be THE cutting edge science of repairing the damage in our bodies that leads to things like cancer. There are environmental issues, of course, like limiting chemical exposure and sunburns and so on, but also working at the cellular level to give yourself the best possible chance.

I get an annual physical with a mammogram. If I see a mole or other issue, I keep a running list for the doctor when I go in. That's really important - one list in one location, with dates and what you noticed. You don't want to go into the doctor and have no recollection of when that mole or bump appeared, or to guess that it's been 8 months when it's really just been 3 weeks and you've been so agitated it seems like forever. If you have a history (which you do for skin issues), then you make sure that the doctor either takes photos of any spots or records the size of them. My husband has a ton of moles and similar spots, and the dermatologist makes marks on a sketch of a body, and measures how many millimeters across each mole is. That takes all of the pressure off my husband to guess, "Gee, does this look bigger to you?"

The other thing I try to remember is that the stress - like all trauma and major stress - is itself the cause of problems, not the solution to them. There are studies going on now of the children of Holocaust survivors who were in concentration camps - to measure the stress as well as the illnesses due to the trauma and PTSD of the parents (which has a lot to do with the age of the parent at the time of imprisonment). The point is, there is epigenetic change due to the trauma changes the way the DNA works (how genes, which are fixed at birth, express themselves or switch on and off, which is clearly not fixed). And these changes can be inherited. So you want to work in every way you can to stop torturing yourself (even if that means trying another counselor, sticking it out, and to work with someone to find a medication that you don't take on any old schedule you create for yourself). There are a lot of things you can do through immune system support and nutrition, that can work in conjunction with medication and therapy at least until you get stable, and which for many people can work to help wean them off meds - but that should be done with good guidance.

For me, immune system support is the foundation on which I build my life and health. From there, a good priority list of what symptoms matter the most provides the "ground floor" on top of that foundation. The stuff that's less likely gets banished to the second floor, and the stuff that is so unlikely it's just a stressor and not a reality, that gets banished to the attic. Does that help?

I haven't seen my primary care doctor for a physical in over 2 years or my OB-GYN in 6. I tend to go to my PCP generally every 3 years as that's how often I need a pap. Really other than needing a pap, I tend to only go to the doctor if it's clear that I need an antibiotic (I had a bunch of puncture wounds from weeding a thorn bush and put expired Neosporin on them, which did nothing so my arms blew up with an obvious infection - that I went in for) or if I have an illness that won't clear up in the time frame that a virus normally does. I tend to have back issues crop up once a year and for that, I go straight to my chiropractor but really, even then it's only if I can't walk or move with ease. I don't regularly see a dermatologist nor do I have eye exams. I won't start mammograms until 50 (if I even do, I might do thermography instead).

That said, if something comes up that could be serious, I don't hesitate to be seen. I had some bleeding a few years ago that prompted a colonoscopy. It was luckily nothing, but that's a sign you don't ignore. I also had a breast lump that needed to be viewed on ultrasound - clogged milk duct, but glad I didn't ignore it. But other than symptoms like those, or acute illness or injury, I just live my life and hope for the best.

Hi R.M. In addition to all the good advice below, you should get regular vigorous exercise to fight your anxiety. If you are not already fit, you might find that feeling strong and physically fit will help you feel less vulnerable to illness.