How Do You Know When It's Time to Potty Train?

I love this site:

http://www.betterkidcare.psu.edu/AngelUnits/OneHour/Toile...

This will take you step by step through assessing your son's readiness.
It's written for early childhood ed students and is probably the most concise and effective method for toilet learning/training I have seen in my nearly 20 years of working in childcare.

It's very, very wise of you to be thoughtful about approaching this next step with your son. Sometimes, we initiate it because we see some 'signs' and because *we* are ready for them to be using the toilet. What I have discovered over the years is that when children will get it when *they're* ready. Families that start before their child is ready often end up with more frustrations, taking as much time (or longer) than if they'd just waited until their child had all the skills they need.

Consider it like this: if you were to take your child skiing, you wouldn't push them down the hill with just their boots on. You'd make sure they had the skis, too. Likewise, having this set of skills this site suggests will give them all the intellectual, language and gross-motor readiness they need for taking the next steps toward independence and communicating this with you.

For what it's worth, when my son was nearly three, we tried underpants for day or two. It was really apparent he wasn't ready. We waited just a few extra months, then offered him cotton diapers or training pants, and wow! what a difference. He was really ready the second time, and it's been incredibly easy since. 3 months after we started that, he was staying dry all night. I know this isn't the case for every kid, but I do think waiting a while gave him time to develop the skills he needed to succeed, and because it wasn't a struggle, this has given him confidence to continue doing well.

Lastly, one of the largest struggles children have when learning how to respond to their body's cues is leaving off play to use the bathroom. Two suggestions here:

A. Don't ask them if they 'have to go', instead, invite the child to the bathroom every hour and half or so. (if they don't go right away, just repeat the request a short time later) If we ask, it gives them an opportunity to say "no" (age appropriate expression of autonomy too!), which then has the potential to become a power struggle. This is a time when you, the parent, know best, and your confidence in guidance "It's time to go use the potty" will help immensely.

B. Find ways to 'save' what they are playing with. At my preschool, when kids worry that someone might move what they are playing with/take it, I either put toys up or place a scarf over them, meaning that we are saving them for someone. This, too, honors and respects their emotional needs when using the toilet-- the need for their work(play) to be secure. I mention this as your son has siblings, and this may sometimes be a reason he'll be reluctant to leave off playing. Teaching our children to respect each other's work is helpful in this regard.

Good luck!

Sounds like he understands so I'd go for it. Just put him in underwear. And change it when he pees. We did this with DS at 25 months - took 2-3 days and then occasional accidents. Of course you don't want to make it confrontational - just calmly state -pee and poop go in the potty and put him in clean undies. More than 50% of the children in the world are trained by 12 months (google for NY Times article if dubious) so this waiting until it is 'child led' is a US cultural thing not a universal.

My son was just a few months shy of 3 when he learned. However, every kid is different. And, in general, boys are much slower. I have no idea why other than I feel like they can tolerate sitting in a mess longer. With my son, I was going to wait till he was 3, then the daycare approached me and said let's try it. We just kind of went for it. Bought lots of underwear and let the accidents happen. After a few, they usually figure it out, but you've got to stick with it. Make sure you don't have to go anywhere when your experimenting. And, I just sat him on the toilet every 20-30 minutes to try to catch him doing it. The #2 part took about a month later. We always put a pullup on him at night. Like clockwork, he wouldn't poop all day, he'd get his bedtime pullup - go in a corner and poop. Then, one day out of the blue - on a road trip no less - he asked to stop so he could go poop. We stuck with the pullups at night for about 6 months. I was prepared to keep that on till 4, but he didn't want them anymore. We explained that he had to limit his drinks before bedtime. We had an accident every couple of months, but nothing major. He'll come along - no worries.

My daughter just turned 2 and she is doing pretty well. However I took about 2 weeks of no diapers unless its nap or night night time. If she messed herself, I did not change her until she told me she pee pee'd in her big girl panties. Now she is regressing a little bit. ...doesnt want her big girl panties but when she has her diaper on, she will ask to go (strange I know but what isnt strange when you have a toddler. I refuse to do pull ups. I read its confusing so I only do diapers or underwear. She seems to do worse at daycare but I think that is becasue there is not as much 1 on 1 like she gets at home.
Best of luck to you but you may want to try a weekend bootcamp with him. no diapers and then everytime he goes give him an m&m. How I do it is I give 1 M&M for sitting on the potty ....2 more for potty and then 4 more if she poops.

Here is a collection of great potty-training readiness checklists: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...

Sounds kike your little guy isn't quite there. It's great that he's interested, though, and this makes him available for all the "pre-training" stuff, like helping them become acquainted with the potty, perhaps practice sitting, reading stories and watching videos about using the potty, role-playing, etc. All these things can encourage the child to think positively about the process, and may promote emotional readiness.

I'd be strongly inclined to tell your little guy that he's ALMOST big enough, and when he can start telling you before (perhaps set a goal of 5 times that he can track himself with stickers, THEN he'll get to try the big-boy pants again.

Achieving this developmental milestone can become totally voluntary only when the child is both physically and emotionally prepared for it. And when that time arrives, kids want to learn to use the potty with the same tenacity as they wanted to learn to walk and talk. At that point, actually developing the new habit can happen in as little as a day, with the parents supporting, but not necessarily directing, the child.

We started when our son was 2.5 too and gave up quickly. He just turned three and I think he is finally really ready and we'll be able to make it work.

Also-don't 'ask' him-tell him it's time to go on the potty. We do that too-'should we go on the potty"...of course they are going to say no. :)