Hi mamas,
My son is 9 1/2, in 3rd grade, and has been on adhd meds since kindergarten. I want to say (although I could be wrong) that he has been on the same dose of concerta since around first grade. I've thought several times that eventually we would have to open up the can of worms again and try to increase his dose (like many families, it was a long struggle to find something that worked, in the correct dosage.) But with some amazing teachers and a lot of hard work we have avoided it so far.
My son has also had to deal with a lot the last couple of years. His dad and I split 3 years ago, and recently he has gained a step dad, moved into a new house, and gained a new baby brother. This is all in the last year. On top of that his father has moved 1000 miles away, and after visiting 1/2/16, we didn't hear from him again until HE decided to call his dad, just a few weeks ago. So obviously my kiddo has a lot on his plate.
Two weeks ago he was in trouble at school (for play punching, and taking it too far after the kid told him to stop) then last week my inlaws were in town and that stressed him out a little because we still don't know them that well - but it went well. I thought things were going just fine.
All this to say there ARE things that may be bugging him - but he's always been very articulate and talks to me about anything that is bothering him. Lately he has just talked about having trouble with his friends at school (something his teacher has backed up, she is having a lot of trouble with him getting into verbal confrontations with his peers). But I don't know if this is the cause of his stress, or a symptom of it. She says he has started to seem "angry", and she's not sure why. He blurts out comments and often they're not very nice. I see some of this at home sometimes but we work really hard and honestly I thought he had been improving.
How do you make the call to dive back into the Pandora's box of meds adjustment, or whether he's just going through something he needs to work through? With school almost out it's going to be difficult to work on meds anyway, because he's never had as many issues at home as he does at school, sitting at a desk all day. I'm afraid we may have to wait until 4th grade starts.
As always, any advice is welcome! Thanks!
**Oh shoot - thanks itscrazy! You reminded me that I forgot to mention, he does see a counselor twice a month, exactly for all those reasons listed above. It has helped a lot I think. He's been going about two years. He goes next Tuesday. And I also plan to talk with my son tonight to see if he has any insight.
I'm reading this and re-reading this and I'm really lost as to why a couple of you seem to be taking such a sharp tone with me....all I can figure is you're reading things that aren't here. "He needs help"? Well of course he does...that's why I do all I do for him...:) (Like you know, the therapist, the constant contact with his teacher, the heart to heart talks with him, and yes, the medication and relationship with his doctor). I'm really not interested in making this personal, though - I realize, ya'll don't know me. And I don't know you. So...ok.
But thank you to those who gave their two cents in a helpful spirit. Thanks for being supportive!
One thing I remembered after sleeping on it - we have had increased difficulties at the ends of school years before. I know that he dreads leaving behind his classmates and his teachers, whom he always gets attached to. I'm guessing this has something to do with it. But again, he has a therapy session Tuesday and I'll mention it to his counselor.
Thanks again! :) happy weekends!
I wouldn't consider a med adjustment until summer. What's going on doesn't seem as much ADHD as it does frustration. What does the counselor say?
i think a chat with the counselor about it would be a good first step. with all thats going on i think the meds are fine and he needs to learn a few stress relieving things. the counselor should be able to help with this. once things settle down and there is not as much stress in life he will probably go back to normal.
i would shy away from planning anything big, and just stick to the daily routine and if need be give him some time off school to calm and rebalance his stress levels.
When in doubt, the child psychiatrist can help you sort it out. The best way I can describe it is that I just know when it's not right. More bad reports from school, life becoming miserable at home. It can change very subtlely over time and isn't always noticeable, until that light bulb goes off and you realize you're going down the wrong path again.
Any time our son grows (he's now 13 and has been on meds since he was four ... extreme ADHD-combined type), his medication stops working. Doesn't have to be a huge growth spurt, but any growth causes problems with his meds. We've had to increase dosages and change medications more times than I can even recall at this point. It's an agonizing, difficult run trying to figure out what to do. However, the psychiatrist has always been a good sounding board in determining whether it's the ADHD and a medication issue or could be other factors. As our son has gotten older, he's also been able to help tremendously. One time in 2nd grade he tearfully told me, "I just feel like I can't control my body anymore." Boom, knew immediately the medication needed adjustment.
Talk to your son and his counselor. We have had to make a few adjustments over the years and our most recent one, with puberty, has been a godsend - we've been able to stop meds and manage with reminders, rest times, activity, oils, and some coffee. It took some adjustments because our son's activity levels skyrocketed and his behavior needed more redirecting than we were used to, but after a few weeks, we all realized we were at "good enough." This change was prompted by my son who is almost 12. He felt his meds were causing him more problems than they were solving. We may have to cycle back through with meds at some point - different meds, different doses. Our kids' bodies go through lots of changes and the ADHD meds may have to change with them. Good luck!
Does your son see a therapist/counselor? My nephew is ADHD. He did pretty well once they got the meds set. Like your son, he did have to deal with a new sibling and a split. However, my brother made sure he was there for him all the time. At one point, his mom wanted to increase his dosage because she could not handle him. My bro refused to, he made sure he saw his counselor to handle all the changes that came up in his life. After that they would decide if an increase was needed. Your son may need to see someone outside to handle all of the changes. I am sure with a child that does not have any adhd or other, these can be difficult. Maybe summer would be a good time to test out some things to see what works.
We know when my grandchildrens' meds need to be changed or increased because their pediatrician does a physical, discusses symptoms with them and their mother. Changing meds or increasing doses is a medical decision. If his counselor prescribed his meds or consulted with a doctor, he is trained in medications. If not, they probably don't know enough scientific information to make that call. Still, I suggest you discuss this with the counselor. He knows about behavior and how this many changes in his life would affect his behaviour.
STOP!!!! Meds might not have anything to so with what's going on.
I suggest you have him talk to someone for a short time to see what's going on. He has had life changing events in his life. His world is upside down. Any child that is going through things like this would have some behaviours. Don't blame it on the meds. Find out through counseling if he just needs to talk to someone and work through this.
Your son isn't needing his dose changed on his ADHD meds - he needs help. His life has been turned upside down and twisted. This isn't about adjusting his meds, this is about getting him the help he needs to understand what is going on in his world and dealing with it.
If he doesn't have a connection with the counselor? Time to start looking for a new one.
Your son doesn't need medication. He needs a safe place to talk and get his emotions out. His world has just been jacked up. Medication isn't what he needs. He's acting out.
Get him a new therapist.
When my son started his medication, the lowest dose if 5mg had no impact but 10mg did. He tool 10mg for about 4 years when he started to struggle with focus again. We increased to 15mg and it was just right. It has been another 4 years and so far so good. A meds adjustment, of the same med, is pretty usually a simple and easy thing. Not nearly as intensive as initial setup or switching types.
