How Do You Know If Your Child Is Ready for Potty Training?

Updated on June 13, 2012
L.F. asks from Dallas, TX
11 answers

My 23 month old DD has been peeing on the potty almost every time I put her on it for the past four days, however, she doesn't stay dry between pottying. I just read On Becoming Pottywise and am thinking about doing the suggested training with the doll, the rewards, etc... but I don't want to do it if she's not really ready. She shows some of the signs of readiness listed in the book, but not all.

How do you know when your child is ready to move to full blown training vs. just practicing?

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

When it only takes 2-3 days, you aren't taking them, there's no drama, and their diapers are dry.

Otherwise, THEY aren't trained... You are.

I mean, you CAN choose to spend months with taking them every 15 minutes, charts, rewards, accidents... Or spend those months doing other things, and train in 2-3 days.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Does she wake dry from naps? Does she know the difference between a wet and dry diaper? Does she ask for a new diaper? If any of the above, then she is ready for full on training. This does not mean there won't be accidents. Very few 2 year olds don't have accidents. It's a super busy and distracting age.

As to the idea that they have to take themselves without any of your involvement to be trained, that it wastes time, etc. I say it's all about your priorities. My kids trained early, including night and poop trained at 21 months. This did not mean they didn't need reminders, or that my son sometimes doesn't gets too distracted and sprays his pants. It just means they are 2 and need more help than a 3 or 4 year old, like how new walkers needs more help than a more advanced walker. I personally would rather take my kid to the toilet then change a diaper. They both require time and effort, it's up to you to decided how you want to spend your time. I would much rather make the occasional suggestion to my 2 year old to use the potty then to spend my time wiping his dirty butt. He has been pooping in the toilet since he was 21 months, and he wakes dry every morning. A little bit of help from mom during the day is no big deal.

If your daughter has the muscle control to use the toilet, she is ready to learn the rest of it. Just be patient, reassure her that she won't wet her diaper the next time, and follow her lead.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Amen Riley J!!!!!

Another thought - if your child can't get her pants up and down by herself that could be a bit of a problem. To me, potty trained means they go to the bathroom when they have to pee and they do it themselves. (Don't worry mamas, I DID help my girls when they needed me) Potty trained does not mean they pee on the potty only when you put them there.

Good luck! And I hope it happens fast for you :)

3 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

All 3 of my kids were the same...completely potty trained (night and day) right around their 2nd b-days.

I knew they were ready when they started waking up dry in the mornings!

~I have come to realize after being a member of this site for so many years that I was *incredibly* fortunate with all my kids and potty training!

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J.F.

answers from Bloomington on

I have a 4 year old that a nightmare to train. She didn't know how to make herself pee. She had gross motor delays, and I feel that carried over to the problem. We finally had a break through when she was just over 3. Then it took several months to poop train, and several more to night train.

My 25 month old can pee on the potty every time, and can stay dry most of the times in between....we just started last week.

My answer to your question is "when you kid can actually pee on the potty, have self control, and can communicate that he/she needs to go."

Training and practicing are the same in my mind. My daughter is a TINY thing. She can't pull her pants down by herself yet, or stay dry through naps. But, she is able to hold it longer and longer (training her muscles, and listening to her body) just in the last week. With her awareness of what is going on, I foresee night training and poop training very soon.

I think doing what you are doing, keeping it fun and not a chore will help. And, just keep fixes the problems you find. For instance, my daughter couldn't hoist herself on the potty by herself. We've gotten a stool tall enough, and UPS just delivered a new seat (a seat that has an attached little seat, and an adult seat) so that when she goes to climb on, it won't move underneath her and is shorter than the foam seat we currently have on there.

Don't give in on what you've started! It sounds like she has a terrific start!

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think they are just old enough when you are ready to be done with diapers. My son trained at 25 months in under a week (frequent accidents 3-4 days, some for the first week, maybe two more over the next month). He was rarely if ever dry in the morning or after a nap, he had no interest in the bathroom prior to training. 'Potty readiness' is a new concept - never heard of it before joining Mamapedia. It is likely a concept of the disposable diaper industry. Prior to the advent of disposables, the average age American children were trained (done, not started) was 18 months. Half of the world's children are trained by 12 months of age. It sounds like your daughter is absolutely ready to train.

I did not do rewards with my son. I don't train him to do anything else with rewards (or consequences) so I saw no reason to feed him candy to get him to pee in the toilet. We just put him in underwear, told him that pee and poop go in the potty, took him to the bathroom frequently, had him follow us into the bathroom so he would know what to do and read Tari Gomi's 'Everyone Poops' some ridiculous number of times.

@Riley's concerns - we/you are trained - we are trained to recognize when they have peed and pooped and to change their diapers. I personally would rather be trained to recognize when they need to go, take them to the bathroom and flush the toilet. The landfills likely feel the same way.

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R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Actually, the "practicing" she's doing is training, move to full blown training while you have her interest and cooperation!

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

With my first child, I found that we practiced for quite some time and it didn't completely click for her until a month before she turned 3. Thats when she knew what it felt like when she had to go, could communicate it to me, could pull her pants up and down, etc. Honestly, there is no point in taking your child every 20 minutes or so, undoing their clothes for them, etc. Unless they know what it feels like when they have to go and have made the connection, they won't get it. Its like Riley J said, unless they can do it completely on their own, they aren't trained, you are.

1 mom found this helpful

C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

sounds like she's ready-go for it! if she's not interested, wait a few months and try again. if she can hold it for long periods of time and is interested in using the potty, these are signs she is ready!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.A.

answers from Dallas on

Your child is for sure ready! Go for it! We used a sticker chart and skittles or m&m's for rewards and it took two weeks to accomplish. This was with putting on diapers when we left the house. I bet it doesn't take you as long because your child is really already doing it. Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

I just potty-trained my 2 year old, and it started out much the same as you...if I put her one the potty, she would go, and she would tell me when she peed in her diaper, but she wouldn't ASK to go to the potty. So we just put her in underwear to see what would happen. The first time, she just peed all over herself for a couple of days...she didn't like it and would want to change each time. But after a couple of days, I thought it best to wait a little while longer, and she didn't mind going back into diapers. So a couple months later, we tried again. Same thing for the first day, but when I asked her if she wanted to just put a diaper back on instead of undies, she said no, she wanted undies! So we stuck with it and within the next 2 days (and with the help of jellybeans...one for each time she peed on the potty and kept her undies dry), she was done (that's with HER telling me she needed to go, I would only ask her if we were leaving the house)! It's been about 2 weeks now, we're out of jellybeans, and she's only had a couple of accidents when she's been playing hard with brother and sister and just not paying attention...but I'm ok with that! So I say, just give it a try and see what happens!

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