How Do You Inspire a 1St Grader to Want to Go to School?????

Have you tried talking to his teacher to see what's going on? Is he above/below skills level? It's possible that he is not getting along with teacher/classmates, but he'll have to learn to deal with that as he grows... you could also talk to principal about switching classes and see if that helps?

My daughter was the same way. It was because she didn't want to leave me. I finally enlisted the help of the principal who said he would come and pick her up and bring her to school. That helped to get her out of the door, but it wasn't until 7th grade that she wanted to go to school to see her friends. Hopefully, you can help him get motivated before 7th grade! :) Good luck!

This is tough. i don't have much to say, except that it sounds like something about school isn't working for him, hopefully temporarily. Can you really explore the school end, talk to his teacher, etc.? if he's smart, then maybe he is bored and something needs to change on a larger scale. Or perhaps this is simply temporarily. Good luck!

Ok, I have a few thoughts on this one. Don't just treat the problem, treat the cause. In addition to not being challenging/or too challenging, how is he being motivated? Grades are kind of an abstract thing at his age, so I would recommend a more immediate, tangible motivator. It can be something small like at the end of the week you and him going to get an ice cream cone to talk about school, or something bigger, like a vacation somewhere if he has a great year. A lot of people frown on motivation, and I don't really understand that. The way that I see it is that it takes motivation to do everything in life, whether it be internal or external. Think about it, would your husband go to work every day if he didn't get a paycheck at the end of the week? No. Would you clean the house if it didn't give you some satisfaction or peace of mind? No. Try making the trip to school more fun, play I Spy, the ABC game, plan something fun to do after school. Just do something to make the way to school as fun as possible, so he will associate going to school with enjoyment.

If you talk to the teacher and he is in fact not being challenged by the curriculum you probably don't need to do anything as durastic as changing him schools right away, but start small. While his classmates are working on grade appropriate materials have the school provide him with the next grade level up materials. If that isn't an option look into a combo class (1st/2nd), that way he still gets the socialization of kids his own age, but is able to get the instruction he needs. If he is struggling look at some of the possible reasons why. A lot of people associate ADD with ADHD, but in fact they are very different. I am not saying or suggesting that your son has either, just giving an example here. I worked in a classroom with a little boy with ADD struggled a lot, and he was very slow with his work, and had a hard time focusing, but was not hyper at all. Also, the curriculum itself may just not offer any emotion. This is a little bit in depth, but certain curriculums out there are designed on a script, and its up to the teacher to take these materials and enhance them to make them exciting for her students. If your son goes to a school with these curriculums its no wonder he's bored, they are boring to teach.

I personally would not recommend going into abstract explanations about why he should be happy to go to school, you would probably be wasting your breath. If this is happening frequently, where some weeks he loves school and some weeks he hates it there is something going on there. You get to play private detective to figure out what the difference is (lucky duck!) Don't give up hope, school may never be your sons favorite thing, but it doesn't mean he can't still grow up to be successful. Good luck and just keep trying :)

Hi C.,

When my son was in 1st grade and didn't want to go to school, I based on the fact that he was simply tired. He was tired of routine, he was tired of learning, he was tired of homework.

He was also my son that "pushed" his bedtime. He is always in bed by 9pm, but my rule is 8pm to ensure enough bed rest. Basically, I thought that was part of the problem.

I spoke to his teacher about him, and she is VERY nice, and she told me that in her experience as a 1st grade teacher, it was normal (especially for boys). She said if we can just keep the "routine" of school and homework going then he will get through it......and he did.

I had to enforce rewards in my home to get through it. McDonald's Ice Cream was a biggie.....If he turned in his homework all week then we would go to get an Ice Cream.

Once I backed off from consequences, and began the rewards is when he began to turn it around and things got much better.

My son is in 2nd grade now and he is just starting to act the same way. Last night, we had a talk.....again. Anyway, it's normal, especially if your son is really smart. They say that when they are really smart, their emotional behavior is at the "opposite" end of the spectrum in maturity, so you might be dealing with his maturity factors :O)

it will be OK.....it's only 1st grade and your teacher will help you get him through it in a loving way. At least in my experience it went like that.

~N. :O)

Hi C., As the mother of 5 and also being a foster parent, we ran into this a few times. When my son saw this post he asked "Hey mom, how did you get us to like school?" Seems that he just knew it was an expectation and didn't question it to much-- he is the youngest, and saw everyone else going.
I know that all my children and now grandchildren complained about the 1st - 3rd grades. It is harder than kindergarten and more expectations are in place as well as the dreaded homework, and timed tests.
I made sure that each child before school started got the right teacher for them. We had one that had every guy that had to wear moon boots to stay grounded was in her class. Mrs. Marchant, was amazing, we had to pry the guys out of there. She made math fun, by having then add, subtract Dinasaur bones, for the girls she did it differently until she learned they liked it too. We figured that not every minuet was going to be fun so I let them gripe for 8 minuets( that was all I could take),and then they had to tell me about all the rest of the day- recess being the top item. I had one son, that thought he was missing out on good stuff at home so I made sure to help in the library, classroom, office etc. so he knew I was there. I actually did this for all my children all through High School and they loved/hated it but if I didn't come they were sadly disappointd. Since you are a stay at home mother this should be a great thing for you to do.
Understand that you miss him as well and that he had been with you more than anyone so it is natural to miss you.
One thing we did was make a chart for our children. What ever they wanted to become in life ( that week), we put on the chart and then we researched what it took to become that . It really helped when one decided to become Evil Kenieval and had to learn math so he could plan his jumps! Believe me you have done nothing wrong. This is just a part of life and the boundries that you have to set as part of the foundation of his life.
Recently my son and some friends were here. Seems that one had dropped out,one had gone to Continuation High,BOTH are good men and have wonderful hearts, so don't get me wrong-- When they asked my son why he hadn't done the same and gotten his parent to let him do it- I had to laugh at the answer. He simply said" I don't remember a time in life that my parents didn't push education. They also made it clear that it was their right to see me across the kindergarten, Jr.High and Senior Hi graduations.. If any of us decided to drop out then we must be ready to be on our own, and had 2 hours to move out." GUYS YOU KNOW SHE MENT IT! Why would I want to screw up a great deal like my mom cooking, cleaning, paying the bills so I could not do my best?
I only paid for car insurance if they were active in school activities, didn't smoke, and never got a ticket. I have only paid for one childs car and that was something Daddy got talked into. I know that I have gone from pre-school to high school-- but if you think its hard now then just know it gets harder. But Mom, it is worth every effort that you put into it. Make sure that he is having a companion to be with. There are so many children that are lonely and eat,& play alone that it is a shame. Nana G

Hi C.,
If at all possible, I would suggest going to class with him for a day and sitting in a corner where he can't see you. He'll forget you're there pretty quickly if he can't see you or make eye contact. Then you can watch him and see exactly what goes on. There is something going on in class that makes him not want to be there. It might not be something obvious, but watching him for a whole day should bring it into focus a little better. Some teachers don't like parents to sit in, but it is your right as a parent to find out what goes on in class. So whether the teacher likes it or not, stick to your guns and pick a day you can devote to it. You may get some good insight. And the last thing....this really should pass. Kids go through a million phases, and some of them we never figure out why! But even if it takes a while, he'll grow out of this one just like every other one he's had. God bless.

C.,
Have you spoken to his teacher yet?
I would start there. Maybe he is having a problem, he's not willing to discuss?
One of our son's had these same type of issues @ this age. He was bored in class. Nothing seemed to challenge him. When I finally got the school to test him, his scores came up as gifted & we considered putting him in the gate program, he also tested ADHD.
We personally had issue's with the school & what would be best for him which I won't get into BUT.....if he is bored with the work & can complete homework without any trouble I would look into having him tested. No point in letting him grow to hate school because it posses no challange to him.
I could be wrong, but it might be worth looking in to.....
The other thing could be that he just doesn't relate well to the teacher? Not every teacher is a good fit for your child?
I hope you can work this out for him....good luck

Talk with his teacher, visit his class, become a volunteer mother in his room.. and see what you can find out about the cause of his disinterest. Do some of your volunteer work or observation on the playground too... because something that is going on during that time could be the problem. In general though, my guess is that his assessment that school and the work are boring is your biggest key. What do you find are his interests when he's not in school? See if you can work with the teacher to incorporate some of those things into the learning process for him at school. Let's face it, formal education is largely directed more to the interest of girls and we lose our boys in the process. Most boys aren't as much into sitting and doing paperwork as most girls are. They learn better by being up, active and doing things. Can you help his dad to also get involved more with school? If possible, even an occasional day when Dad could visit and do some volunteer work with the class might just spark an interest. It would also give your husband an opportunity to evaluate the classroom experience your son is having from the male perspective.

Try a charter school.

Two things come to mind when children don't want to go to school.

First of all, do you think the school/teacher is appropriate for your first grader. It would be good to go and observe in his/her class to see that it is a good match. If not, you may be able to switch your student to another class or school. (you may have to research different schools near you to see what is the best match).

Secondly,he/she may have a unidentified learning disability. Speech and language difficulties as well auditory processing issues make it hard for the student to do well. Questions regarding speech difficulties: 1. Does he/she understand your directions when you are clear (receptive language)2. Can he/she explain things to you in a way that you understand (expressive language).

Also, does he have an unusual amount of anxiety around any subjects in school: reading or math?

Pay attention to the clues and ask the teacher if he/she thinks your child needs an evaluation for speech and language services.

Find something that he is good at and really enjoys and start a club at school. My Nephew ('s Mom) started a chess club. He couldn't wait to get there at the end of the day. He was older than that, but is there a specific sport? craft? or even a car/train item? what about wood derby racers? Obviously, I dont know you or your son, so I dont know if this would be phesible. There would have to be a parent supervisor at the school.

I like Eliane's suggestions below...here is what I think...

I would first set up a meeting with the teacher. Find out what she thinks. Maybe he's bored and needs more work or to be moved up a grade. Or maybe he's struggling and needs more assistance. Maybe he doesn't like the teacher and feels like being at school is like always being in trouble (if she's not a caring teacher). Maybe she's really different from his Kindergarten teacher and he's having trouble adjusting. If the teacher says everything seems okay, take a look at his grades. How is he doing in comparison to other kids? Also take a step back and look at your evenings. Since summer is over and he's in school all day, does he have time at night to unwind and play? If you are busy all/most/some evenings during the week, it may be too much for him. I think you are doing the right thing in not letting him stay home.

hi there
my son goes through spells on occasion of not wanting to attend school, When he does, I assure him it's a privilege to attend school not a burden. I don't do this in a way to make him feel guilty, I do it to help him understand that in fact school is a great thing. He is now 7 1/2 and although may not understand completely what I tell him each time he might complain about school, I nonetheless stay firm and will repeat that it is a great privilege. I really don't give any room for bargaining on the topic (like your situation, no bullies, the work is challenging enough and yes, they do get play time. To me, it's just one of those things kids have to learn to suck up. Oh I let him voice is opinion and I do validate how he might feel. However once he is done venting, I try and help him to see some of the positives about school and focus on that aspect. This does help at times. I don't think you should feel like a bad mom,the fact that you care about your son and want him educated IS a great thing. Children have minds of their own and for now, school may just be boring to him. You can help him with his homework and try and make that more interesting. The other thing is and this may sound rough on the teacher, but maybe the 1st grade teacher's style is truly boring . I say this because my son's summer school teacher wasn't good with the kids at all (I truly believe that not everyone is cut out to teach) and therefore, my son complained about her all the time. I didn't argue back with him, I let him vent. Maybe it's just a matter of waiting this out and once he is in second grade, things could turn around.
best of luck

There are a few things that you can do and these really helped our family. First I would talk to the teacher. She can give you some insight about his behavior at school and if there is anything different that she notices. She/He doesn't know your child at home only at school and she/he can really give you insight. Second find out if you have a school couselor. Often these professionals (make sure they are licensed) can help. Do not let the intern work with your child, just the counselor. Often the child will open up and talk to them about whatever may be bothering them. Usually schools will have special lunches or days that certain children will get together and they make the child feel special. Check in to those things first.

My son says similar things. I worry that maybe he isn't challenged,/engaged enough?

sorry to be asking an obvious question but have you asked his teacher about this? finding out how he behaves in class and his teacher's observations about what seems to interest or not interest him could be useful in trying to figure out what would motivate him. If he truly is finding that the work isn't challenging enough, seeing if you can arrange having some more challenging work available for him could be a big help.
Also it might be worth inquiring with your ped's office if it'd be useful to test for things like dyslexia or other learning disabilities that could be at the root of your son's frustrations.
Good luck! Remember, the fact that you're concerned about your son's education and want him to learn and be motivated to learn means you're a GOOD mom - IMO a 'bad' mom would be thinking 'yeah, whatever, have your tantrum, see if I care"

I want to start off by saying when I was little and in first and second grade I had a hard time and hated school. I have dyslexia myself and it makes it very hard and makes me hate reading and writing. I hated school so much. Even though you might think he isn't getting bulled it might still be. I know when I was little I was bulled alot because I was a little slower in learning things because of my dyslexia I had to work harder. My mom had no idea this was going on till I was in second grade. It got so bad she had to homeschool me because I was picked on so much. I myself have a 7 year old son who is in second grade. When he was in first grade the teacher was so bad with the kids. she did nothing to help them. She did not make school fun which I feel it should be fun to learn. My son hated school and had such a hard time he barely passed. Now that he is in second grade the teacher is great. He is getting 100% in every spelling test and math test. You have to at home make learning fun. You can not just let the teacher do the teaching I'm not saying you are just saying try doing some art and crafts stuff. Take him to the discovery museum or something like that. My son loved that. It helped him realize that learning can be fun. One that I do as well is every night I read my son a book before bed. I let him pick one and I read it. Now that he is in second grade he has found that he loves the magic tree house books so we are working on that after that we are going to read the box car books. It sounds like he is not getting stemulated enough in school and there for thinks that school is boring and can't be fun. My son loves his air-dry clay to make things and then paints them. What every you do try to make it fun. Make it like a game. When he does math use something like skittles to count. It helps keeping him focused interested. I hope that helps a little. Just make sure you make everything you do fun. I would talk to the teacher as well to see how he asks in class. Just remember you are the parent not the teacher. Thats the one thing that bugs me alot about some teachers is they feel they are the parent and tell the parent how to raise there child. Just my point of view though.

I agree with the others. Definitely talk to the teacher and get another perspective. It may be that he's bored with the subject matter. In a couple years, he can be tested for GATE and move into honors classes that might bring more challenge. In the meantime, the teacher might have some ideas for getting him more engaged in class, such as serving as a helper.

Sounds like his school isn't a good match for him. Can you look into other options? Our daughter thrives in her Waldorf school. Charter or home schooling might work better.

Your first grader will want to go to school when he experiences success at some facet of school. If he doesn't want to go to school, it's either because he's bored, he's not getting along well with the other kids, or he's not succeeding, either socially (for example, doing well at sports) or academically (for example, being a good reader.) It may take him a while to find out what he's good at. In the meantime, you might try to find out from his teacher whether he is bored or is having trouble getting along, and what you could do to help him begin to experience some success with some aspect of school.

A lot of great suggestions and things to look into. I wonder how his relationships to his peers are. I used to want to go to school to see my friends. If there is someone in his class who he enjoys hanging out with suggest a play date over the weekend or after school. Good for you for sticking to your guns about not going to school not being an option and not letting him get away with watching tv and all when he is sick.
And yes, ask the teacher to let you know how your son and other kids act with each other! Good luck!

Hi C.,
I would check with his teacher. Maybe he is having problems with a bully. Maybe he is ahead of the game and already knows all she is teaching. Public schools seem to dumb things down to reach the middle of the road students. I actually homeschool my kids. We have our good days and bad. The nice thing about it is you can focus on learning around what interests them. You want to raise life long learners. The schools seem to suck out any interest out of students but normally not this young.

Best of luck!
A.

I would set up a meeting with his teacher to see if there is another side to the situation.

It could be that he is smarter than the rest of the class and is truely boared. If this is the case then he should be tested for Gate.

Another thing may be that he and the teacher just don't click.

It does deserve to be looked into even further.