My husband works 2 hours away most days. He does travel, and when he doesn, ironically it is to closer locations. Those days are GREAT, but that's maybe a total of 5 days a month. Either way. Every day it seems there is some reason for me to have to leave work and handle some kid issue. Today it was because my 6 year old refused to go to school. Also later today my daughter has an appointment, and tomorrow morning my same 6 year old is getting the RESPECT award at school...husband is around to help with none of this. I know it's not because he doesn't want to, and I'm grateful he has a good job.
My shedule has me at work by 630 Mon-Fri, I leave work at 1135 to get my son to pre-k at 1210, and then and back to the office by 1230. I leave work at 330 to get my older two off the bus, and then 2 days out of the week we have to run somewhere else (football or dance). I also work on my MBA and doubled my classes this year so I can finish this summer. Taking away school, work, or activities is not an option. How do you deal as a full-time working mom, who is basically a single parent during the week? I don't mean to offend any single mom's out there who do it 24-7, I have all the respect in the world for you...I just need to know how to get a handle on everything.
Thanks, mamas. I do have a college girl who comes in the mornings to help...she does the whole morning routine and gets the kids on the bus and the youngest one to daycare. My family steps in when I REALLY need it - like today my mom and sister are helping, but my whole family still works, so they can't do it all the time. After school is okay, since I get off early. I guess it's more the things out of the ordinary (attitude this morning, sick kids, etc) where I get stressed. It's good to read advice on how others are doing it and how to make it work more smoothly for me. Some days it works well and others I feel like it's all falling apart!
My husband works out of town 25 days a month...i manage it with 2 kids and one on the way because i am a SAHM. I do get very lonely and miss work though.
ugh I'm so worried about this issue. My ex will not step up for any of these issues you mentioned, and it makes M. worry about my job. I have no advice other than, try and find a SAHM or teen in the area to help out that you can hire for the sick days, and snow days thats what I hope to do. My closest family member is an hour and 1/2 away so it's pretty much all M..
I'm with Just M, you need HELP! Jeesh, you're gonna meet yourself coming back! Hire a sitter you love to help with a few of these things. While you're at it, get a housecleaner once a week too!
:)
You get a strong support system.
I've been in the military for over 9 years and a single mother for most of that time. It's tough, but you find innovative ways to work it out.
If your child needs to get to pre-k at a certain time, you find childcare that will bring them there and pick them up for you (I used the YMCA's before and after school programs...they are a LIFESAVER)!
I don't know how old your "older" children are, but my 8 and 10 year old walk home from school and call me when they arrive in the house. They are alone for an hour at the most. I've taught them how to be responsible...and if they were riding the bus, they wouldn't need me to be there when they get off. Just food for thought.
As for football and dance, there is not contingency for activities. You should be there for those.
And perhaps you should scale back on classes. Is it really necessary for you to double up on coursework? I scaled back myself...because I know that I can chase wild goose for the rest of my life, but I can't get my kids' childhoods back.
Lastly, for all other emergencies, have a list 5-10 people deep that you can call if you need help. Talk to them. Let them know where you're at. Don't be prideful about it...people are VERY willing to help one another if asked and if they aren't taken advantage of.
Best of luck!
Hire a SAHM or a college kid that is willing to pick up your child from work for you.
Once you get through with your MBA that will lessen the load. You just have to mentally readjust. The situation is what it is, and unless your husbands work schedule changes, this is it. Well for now at this phase in your life anyway. So you have to change how you look at things. Yes, I know it's tough. My husband works crazy hours and during the week it's just me and our two kiddo's. He gets home well after they are in bed. He's only home 1 day a week all day. I work full-time and with activities scattered throughout. You have your bad days , but there are good days too. I do feel like a single parent, and we kind of are but not in societal terms so a lot of people don't understand.
I sometimes get tired of the routine of it all and the load that I seem to carry by myself. But I look at my kiddo's, our house, the food in our fridge, and know that their dad is there just not all the time and that he works this hard because he loves us.
My friends husband got laid off a few months ago and they are trying not to lose their house and literally rationing food. Things could be worse. Hang in there, gradually things will get easier. (((((( Hugs )))))))
Oh and I do have to say I fix myself a girly drink and some crackers and cheese about 3 times a week and catch up on Desperate Housewives and Survivor after the kids are in bed. We have to find a me time in all the chaos ; )
Boy does all this sound familiar! My husbands job has never allowed for him to help out with appointments/school things/sick kids. I'm lucky in that I get some help from my parents and my husbands parents. But I do a lot of it on my own. My husband feels bad about it too and when he is home, on weekends, he helps out a lot! I think I just try to remember there are people who have it worse than I do. I'm also extremely lucky my work is flexible.
Sorry I don't think I put any advice in that paragraph.....but you're not alone.
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I just suck it up. I have yet to figure out anything else I can do.
I am lucky because my oldest works five miles from either of his little sib's schools. In a jam I can call him and he will play the parent. :)
What you may want to do is network at school. You will find there are a lot of parents in the same boat. If each of you take a kid shift so to speak it is easier for everyone. :)
