How Do You Find Friends?

Try meetup.com and see if there's a mom's group near you that you can join, it's a great way to connect with other mom's and simply find out about kid-friendly activities going on in your area (usually free/inexpensive).

My fiance is 12 years older than me, so most of my new friends are 10-15 years older... unless you mind hanging out with us young ones, age is nothing ;) Just saying!! AND, I feel your pain. This site is my 'adult conversation' during the day. Once in a blue moon I'll meet my step MIL for lunch, or run errands WITH a friend (yeah, I'm that desperate). This is all also kind of by choice. Even though I'm only 27, I don't have the energy to waste going out and meeting friends and keeping in touch all the time. Most women my age have graduated college, have just now started thinking seriously about finding a marriage suitable guy, etc... I've been domesticated for 8 years!! It's boring to some, but for me, I wouldn't change it for anything :) Hope you find peace with this!!

Couple thoughts-
You will probably need to be a little more forward than you are used to. Try to go to places where moms take their kids (zoo, mall playland, library story times) and zero in on the moms that seem like you would click best with. Make friendly chit chat and if it seems to be gelling then ask if they would like to get together at the park and then get their email. You may need to try this several times b/f it works the way you want it to so hang in there.

It is worth checking out your local chapter of mops or moms club. They are hit or miss-some are great and others not so much. At least it will be a group to do activities with.

Once your child is in preschool you will meet a ton more moms to choose from so don't worry. That was the time it really kicked in for me.

Have you considered a Mommy and me class for you and baby? I honestly think most women join it just to meet other moms. Im 28 and I find that most moms are older than me. Its rare for me to find moms my age. Most friends my age are single and childless or if they do have kids its just so hard to get together with our busy schedules.

Firs tof all age really doesn't matter at this point. My BFF is 10 years younger than me becuase I, like you, had my kids later in life. We are at different points in some parts of our life - like her parents are still really healthy & vital while we've been going through final illnesses of our parents, etc. But other than that we have so much in common.

We met at church becuase both of her kids are the same ages and gender as my kids. (older daughter, younger son) At clubs, at sunday school, etc we'd find eachother waiting at the same doors for our kids. We began to volunteer together and ended up Christmas shopping, going away on day trips with the kids, etc.

You do have to be more deliberate about making friends at this point in your life. But realize that other moms are also looking for friends. Find new firends at playgrounds, kid programs at the library & local museums. Look in your local pennysaver, library flyer or community paper for free or low cost activities for mom and baby. a lot of churches have bible studies and MOPS groups (mothers of preschoolers) for women mid-week that include nursery so you can drop off your child and enjoy time with other moms. Go to those groups, classes, play times, etc. Invite another mom back to your house for lunch or coffee or to the local starbucks, or whatever. Other mom's do not want to see your house being immaculate - they will feel most at home if you house is a mess - becuase theirs is too. Bring extra jucieboxes, wipes, diapers, etc - so when someone is in need you have one to provide - and strike up conversations.

Good luck - you 'll find someone! I actually prayed for my friend - asked God to bring me someone who i could relate to. i truly believe that we have a God who cares about the details of our lives. You just have to talk to Him. ;o) Good luck mama!

I've found this to be a very common problem problem among stay-at-home moms. Don't be embarrassed! A lot of people you meet probably feel the same way, but it's really hard to go from being a stranger at the playground, or someone you recognize at school pick-up, to being a friend that you hang out with.

Joining a group on meetup.com totally saved my sanity, and book clubs helped too. I've also took up hiking with the kids last year, and have met other people through those groups. Not everyone you meet will become your best friend, but the more people you meet (esp in groups where you meet the same people again & again), the better the chance that some of those "real" friendships will happen.

Please don't feel embarrassed. I agree it can be tough. I'm 47 and have two boys ages 4 and 6. I have a very small circle of friends that I have known for years though a church that we attended many years ago. We started a playgroup and still get the kids together (most are in school now) when we can. I home school as well and I can really feel the odd man out sometimes.
I think everyone should have at least one good close friend to laugh, cry and just have fun with. Most all of my friends are at least 17 years younger than me but they keep me young and I share my wisdom (lol) with them. Me and my BFF try and at least go out for dinner and dancing once a month and might meet for a brunch on the weekend. Helps keep me sane. It was hard for a while when she was getting a divorce. We kind of parted for a bit and I was so lonely. I would suggest attending a church or getting involved in something you enjoy and hooking up with others that like it too. Get brave and get out, even on your own if you need to. Swim lessons, dance lessons, Bingo, whatever. Just do something and get out of the rut.
Too bad your so far away from me, we could meet up at the local tea room and have some "grown up " time. Sending you a big old mom hug and a prayer for a new friend to come your way.
C.

Our neighborhood has a website with full directory and social activities. We have spring, summer fall events for socials with children.

There are about 3 different groups of bunko, and other social games as well.

IF you don't have that, what do you do when you are at the park, library, playground areas? Just strike up a conversation with someone.

Usually, it happens through the children by meeting other parents, etc.

Hang in there! Dont be embarrassed, just smile and you'll meet someone!

You can find friends anywhere! Parks, Church, or even the grocery store. I didn't start to have kids till I was 30 so I was either older than the young mothers or younger than the older mothers. It doesn't matter how old you are because you all have something in common! Kids! :) I have an advantage over most people because I am not afraid to say Hi! Also, try to find activities that you and your children can participate in such as Mommy and Me Gymnastics. That's a great place to meet other Mom's! PS...I'm 34 and most of my friends are in their 40's! :) Good luck!

go on to meetup.com You enter your interests and it brings up groups that people have formed in your area. Just type in "mom" or stay at home and you should be able to find a group. Maybe you can click with some people in a group.

I do something fun and kid related every morning. Then lunch and naptime. The day is pretty much shot after nap! I get up around 6-7 and get my oldest off to school and get totally ready for the day. If I need to grocery shop I do that before or after the kid activity. There is family center in town and I started off going there 1-2 x a week. That's how I first started to meet people. Then I joined a MOMs group. Then I found out about other things in town. There is a toddler/preschooler free program every Monday at the local environmental center. The library has free "music and movement" every Tuesday and Thur morning. On Thursdays they also have storytime. Wednesdays I now meet a new friend to take turns running and watching each other's kids. Friday mornings we go to the pool for an hour. Lots of other parents go too and when I meet someone I like I invite them to come along. Sometimes we just meet someone at the park or one of our houses for a playdate instead of any of these things. We get out A LOT. Does your community have things like this? We also have toddler gymnastics (the mom goes too so you can meet people), toddler and preschooler dance classes, mommy and me yoga classes, a mom's running group, a mom's hiking group. Anyway, I moved here a year and a half ago and I have met SO many nice people and made lots of stay at home mom friends. We also have friends from my husband's work.

PS, I am an older mom too. I have mom friends of all ages though. Some are MUCH younger but if you like someone that just does not matter. Some are my age. Some are older. You did not say the age of your kids. For my school age son, I have met his friends parents by arranging playdates and sometimes the other mom will stay and hang out at my house or at the park. We try to do a playdate every Wed afternoon. The other things is I volunteer in his classroom so I will meet another parent that day as well. I've met some really nice people through his class! I hope that helps. :)

H.,

I am 48 years old and I have 2 kids (5 and 11 years old). I think it is important to know your own interests. For instance, you like reading? go to Barnes and Nobles more often or to the Library, I made a couple of very good friends there (before moving) and we still keep in touch. We visited each other and went out with the kids (one friend in my very same situation) for 8 years until I moved to st Louis. Church is also a place where you may find people you like, it works for many people. Go outdoors whenever you can with the kids, in the playground you can find people also, moms like you. I don't have many friends either, just a few but real friends. Real friendship develop overtime do not worry. The first step is go out there and be nice, I am sure you are!
If you can get a membership at the Ymca or any other recreation center,that will do too; I have met other nice people there just working out, jogging, attending Zumba etc...and the kids have a great time there too!
I love having people at home, I am the usually the one who always invite to other moms to have a quick lunch, a play date for the kids. etc. I am not always reciprocated, but still I enjoy it. Some people feel uncomfortable inviting others to their house, I don't know why probably they feel like they should have their house like this or like that...to me does not matter at all if my friend's house is not tidy or extremely neat, I don't mind while it is not filthy! I think that in now days is harder to make friends because we are in difficult and stressful times, people is too busy and have family around (that is what I have read before in this site).
Take time but don't give up!

Join a moms group, take a mommy & me class with your little ones, go to the park, story times at the book store or library, etc. You just have to put yourself out there, be open & outgoing & you will meet people easily. I was kind of reserved before I became a SAHM, and it took a lot of effort for me to break out of my bubble & meet people.

I've met all my friends at work too until recently. I started reaching out to my neighbors more. Instead of just waving when I see them outside, I walk over and chitchat a little. That led to us sitting in the yard together and to exchanging phone numbers and eventually to friendships. I've also met a fun group of girls at church. I went to dinner with 5 girls and I expected it to be stiff and boring and quiet. It wasn't. We laughed so hard we made a scene in the restaurant. Since then I've really seen a friendship blossoming.

I am a SAHM also and there are times when I feel like I need a friend. I found an old high school friend on facebook last year and we have been talking ever since. We hung out yesterday in fact. We went bumming around to craft stores and lunch . Had a great time. We were friends in high school but didn't do a whole lot together and now we have a lot of the same interests and both have boys the same age. We meet halfway in between our houses which isn't that far and go for lunch or shopping. I am so glad I found her! I am also a room mom this year for my sons class and have met parents this way. We plan events and parties together and go out to dinner. I'm trying to meet more parents of kids in my sons class also.

What about people you used to work with? I felt the same way, it is hard to make friends as adults. When my daughter started school and joined Girls Scouts is when I started to make friends. It was something in common that we had and our girls were obviously the same age. Have you looked into local playgroups? Some towns have "new in town" clubs. We joined one of those when we first moved to Marlborough. Good luck!

Try Meetup.com! The playgroup I'm in has about 70 mamas, but the playdates that are posted are usually capped at 4-10 moms. I can even set up a playdate at my house. If there isn't one in your area, you can start your own. There are a lot of different meetups you can choose if you would like a little time away from the kiddos too. I joined a book club and a permaculture group as well. It can be overwhelming to meet so many new people but well worth it!

You are NOT a heel! It is hard for some women to talk to other women/people. Whether you are a shy person or not, its hard to care about getting to know other people when you are tired, worn out and are dealing w/kids day and night.

I remember when my 5 yo was a baby,the last thing I cared about was meeting a new mom and wanting tomake her feel comfortable by asking how many kids she had and how old they were.

I hear you on the "later than sooner" motherhood. Age difference can be a bear. The only thing you really have in common are your kids so stick w/that. You can also bring up current events, or her hobbies/your hobbies. If all else fails, tell someone "hey! cute shoes!" and all of a sudden you guys are swapping places that has great sales. My point is, don't bring up anything age related, like music you like, or "when I was a kid people didn't do that".

Its hard to be chatty but even small efforts will help you find someone you can hang out w/and talk to. I am an extreme extrovert and have no trouble talking to anyone, and its still hard for me to strike up a conversation w/another mom.

GL!

Yes-cherish this time-it goes away in a blink.