How Do You Figure Out What Motivates Your Child?

Even though my sons had tons of books (Grandma saw to that) , their dad and I were readers, they still didn't like to read. However, they did like baseball cards!! So I would buy packs of baseball cards and when they could read the backs of cards they could keep it for their collection. I also used the stats to have them work sample math problems.
Would be good for boys---perhaps some of the Hello Kitty or Princess cards or stickers would be for girls.

I just wanted to add that you should remember she is still learning from being read to. She may follow along on the page if she's sitting right with you. She's absorbing all the nuances of reading, which will help her reading on her own. She's still young. I'd meet the minimum school requirement for her reading to you and then pick up the slack by reading aloud. Maybe if you pick a more challenging book that you read aloud, she may become more interested in challenging her own reading habits. I remember being too little to read the Little House series on my own, but my mom read them aloud to us on long car trips. No wonder I always read grade levels ahead!

You know... One reason my son QUIT reading for a solid year was that he was afraid I'd stop reading to him. It was and IS (at age 10) something special we do together.

So I made reading aloud inviolate. There was/is story time where mom does her funny voices and faces, or just has that quiet time... And there's 'show off' / 'work' time where he's reading aloud or silently.

Part of what helped is that in my family we read to each other. Funny parts, articles, etc. so over at Nonna & Papa's I had him pay attention to that. That even at 30/60 we're STILL reading aloud to each other. We don't quit when we get 'good' at it. So he didn't have to be afraid I'd stop, and he didn't have to be 'bad' at reading in order to enjoy special time together.

SIMILARLY... If you've read as part of a bedtime routine, you're asking her to WORK instead of relax. Equate it to climbing in bed with a good book and your hubby bringing in your taxes for you to do instead. Ugh. I have to turn my brain on???? But I was just going to relax and go to sleeeeeeeep!!!

(Later... When it's not work... It will be relaxing. But while she's still learning, it's NOT. Know what I mean?)

1) Sit her on your lap... (or lie down with her) with a book. A book that is in HER reading range.
Then, read to her, as she also reads ALONG, with you. Point, to the words as you read.
I do that with my son, who is 5 and is going to 1st grade.

2) Get a white board, with some dry erase markers. On it, write down some words. Like 5 a day. Put the board wherever she is playing or hangs out. Then vicariously, she will see it/read it/as she plays. I do that with my son too. He LOVES his white board. And while he is playing, I tell him "hey, look at your list... sound out some words!" and he does so, because it is while he is playing. It is "his" white board... and he can also write on it (which he loves to do) and thus, is "practicing" writing and spelling at the same time.

3) www.starfall.com

4) Is her vision fine?

5) Schools use the "dolch" sight words. Here is the link:
http://www.mrsperkins.com/dolch.htm/

Or just Google Search "dolch sight words."

I just wanted to reiterate AVs suggestion of keeping vision issues in mind, esp. if you aren't seeing any progress. We have just started vision therapy with our son (he has trouble with convergence, seeing things clearly at closer distances). Because of our journey with our own son, I am learning a lot about the importance of not just 20/20 vision, but eye function.

If you want more information in this regard, here's the link:
www.pavevision.org

(actually, checking their site, it seems a bit slow to load pages...here's another:
http://www.covd.org/Home/ParentResourceCenter/tabid/264/D...

This will take you directly to their Parent Resource Center page.)
Also, if you want to make your own sight word flash cards on index cards, that might work too.:) I wouldn't use motivators other than books, if it were me, personally. Maybe after 30 minutes of reading aloud, she could pick out a book at the store? A lot of research has shown that rewards do facilitate short-term change, but over the long term, not so much. I also really like the idea of switching off reading pages. For beginning readers, the break will be welcome.

Ditto what Riley said, too. My husband and I often read to each other. And maybe change the time she reads to you-- in the mornings, or while you are making dinner, but not at bedtime.

Have you ever read "Love Languages"? I originally read the book, took the test and applied the knowledge to my adult relationships, but it can really apply to your kids, too. I believe (correct me if I'm wrong mamas!) that there is a copy of the book available to learn the "love language" of your child. Once you understand this part of their work/reward emotional connection, you can figure out how to best motivate your kid. For example, do they need to be told what a great job they are doing or do they want you to buy them a new book as a reward. Every kid will have their own intrinsic price, you just need to figure that out and then you both will be happier! Good luck!

My sons really don't seem to enjoy reading too much. BUT, they love to read with me. We each read every other page. I'm not sure if its the fact that they are getting the one on one with me or what it is, but they both love it.

M

I certainly don't want to discourage you, but all children are different, and it is possible that she just may not like reading. My boys both grasped reading about the middle of first grade. My daughter was in the middle of second grade before reading 'clicked' for her. All three of my kids now read several grades above their grade level (at least according to the testing done at the schools).

I have one son in HS who is a fast reader, but doesn't read unless he has to for school; my 9th grade son is a very avid reader and will read anything he can get his hands on; my 7th grade daughter is a slow reader and really, really does not like reading. It is an absolute chore for her to have to read for school! I try to get her books that she is interested in, but sometimes she won't start the books, and other times she'll stop reading partway through because it doesn't interest her any longer. And unfortunately, the books at the higher reading levels tend to be longer, so they have to keep her interest for longer in order for her to finish them. It is frustrating, because I love to read. But I can only do so much. I don't want to push her so hard that she just rebels against reading altogether.

Try taking her to the library to pick out her own books. See what she is interested in otherwise and try to find a few books about it. Does she love any cartoon characters? Most of them have a whole host of books about them too - maybe that will interest her. Does she like Barbies? Same thing.

My daughter is an excellent reader, but prefers to be read to at night, so I'm happy to do it. As long as the reading is happening, and you are choosing books that interest her that will encourage her.

My daughter loved for me to read her Junie B. Jones, but can not stand the Magic Tree House books. Just find what interests her and it may help.

I'd look for books on a topic she wants to know more about. I'd also try to find out if it's just reluctant to read or covering for a problem like eye trouble or dyslexia. I also find it sometimes helps to read with them. There are books specifically written so that the adult reads one page and the child another.

I'm not familiar with somewhere to enter your own words, but Starfall.com has a number of free games and activities to help kids read.

You might decide to read only at night and the rest of the time be collaborative or encourage her to read herself.

To answer your question "How do you figure out what motivates your child", well, trial and error! You try one thing and then you step back and evaluate whether it is working, and if not, you try something else! What works for one child does not always work for another.

I really dislike reading aloud, so I can understand where she may be coming from. I am a very fast reader, but when I am speaking the words, I get tongue tied and it is very exhausting. However, I think reading aloud is important some of the time. It helps prepare for speaking in front of groups, and it is also important so we can see if the child is reading the words correctly.

What has worked for me is to allow the kids to read silently some of the days, read aloud other days, and I read to them some of the days as well. Perhaps you can make a schedule and tell her something like "I know you prefer to be read to, but reading out loud is also important. So some of the days I will read to you and other days you will read to me". Good luck

Maybe you could try finding some books about something that REALLY interests her. Then you could read parts to her and let her help with certain words. That ways you're reading together. You're not just having her read to you. Or maybe even pretend like you can't figure the word out and you need her help ; ).

I wanted to suggest the National Geographic Non-fiction books for beginner readers. some times learning about animals can really motivate them/

Also writing their own story or their own letters to grandma can be a good way to get them learning about words from the writing perspective. give her lots of paper and a new markers or a fancy mommy pen.

she might be a kid that likes to earn money or a family activity and you can cash in on that, My kids love the library. they can learn alot from listening to books on tape if you don't have time to listen to her read and to read just to her.

do you have lots of books on her level??

sometimes it just takes patience.

This doesn't have anything to do with reading, but with motivation. I had an "aha!" moment with my 8 year old this summer. Having some SUCCESS in something is what motivates her. This is her 4th year on the summer swim team. This past school year was her first year swimming year round. This summer she has been extremely successful. She has been winning a lot of races and has found herself in that position when the coach *needs* someone to win a race, they put *her* in it. The more successful she is, the more motivated she gets. We just signed up for 2 days/week winter swim (September - May). Last year she only did one day/week. But the other day she said to me "I've done really well this summer, and I don't want to lose what I've got. Sign me up!" It's been somewhat baffling, because she's never been this way before. It is definitely nice to see!

So, I guess my point is, maybe you need to figure out how she can see little successes in her reading. Maybe it'll motivate her to want to do more/get better at it?

You can enter your own sight words on spellingcity.com and then use them for games or print them out to trace.

When my son had to read out loud, I'd start with having him read the whole page, and then as he got tired I'd read every other sentence or have him read a few key words that I'd point to. I would write a few sight words each day in different places, like with bath crayons in the tub, so that he wouldn't get bored of them.

Can't respond to the reading bit, but if you want to learn her currency, watch to see what she is most excited about having/doing, or most upset about not having/being able to do.

F. B.

Hi, Mom:
Ask her why she doesn't like to read.
After she tells you, and you figure out what it is,
Ask her what would help her to practice more.
Good luck.
D.

By you reading to her she is learning to read. When you read to children they are learning a very important skill called prosody. Prosody is the key component in reading fluency, it is the expressiveness, rythem & emphasis given to words and sentences when reading out loud. Therefore, relax mom make reading fun not a task or a chore especially at this age, she is learning to read so you have to build her confidence in something she is not great at yet and that is normal. Standards are constantly changing in schools, I remember when I was in Kindergarten we did not learn to read! At this age cultivate what she likes to do because ultimately it all ties in together as learning, so if she likes math she has to learn to read to do certain types of math so it will all fall into place. don't set her reading expectations too high, children at this age learn at their own pace.

Take her to the library or book store and let her pick her own books, pay attention and see what topics she is interested in, take notes!

Also my son loves to ask questions! When he asks me a question I may not have the answer to (sometimes i do) I tell him i dont know lets look it up, and we either look it up on the internet, at the library or book store, we do it together though, my son is older so he independently does this at times but your daughter is young and needs that guidience through the process.

If you take her out to eat ask her what the menu says help her learn to read the kids packaging from her favorite restaurant. Help her to read the cereal box. I even have my son read the TV guide on the television, you can even turn on subtitles on her favorite show, it is all reading.

Have your family members send her letters that she can read she will love getting mail from the mailbox. Or set up an e-mail account kids are technology inclined these days!

I hope all this helps and the best of luck to you and your daughter!