How Do You Do It? - Hartly,DE

I find something outside the issue to take up my mind. It gives my mind a chance to take a break from it and it usually works out some solutions while I'm focuses on something else.

It also gets me out of the house or out of the situation. As long as I can stay mentally busy I can do fine.

When I get this way, I find it's easier to just let my mind go, and do, whatever it's going to do. It's much easier than trying to fight it. The more I fight it, the longer it takes for me to fall asleep, and the lest restful sleep I get.

What you have described is the goal of meditation. It can be hard to do, but start in small steps when nothing is bothering you anyway and work towards longer periods when things are especially bothering you.

My favorite kind is to concentrate on breathing and think about how good it feels. The old counting to ten is really a way to slow down your breathing. It is calming.

Another is to imagine a bright ball of light circulating around your body with your breathe: inhale through the nose, but imagine the light going up the spine, over the head, and down the front of your body and ending in the belly. Time the ball of light to coordinate with your breaths. Breathe slowly.

Get good exercise and do deep breathing while you do it. I like going for walks in the woods or on a nature path. Other individual sports like bicycling, swimming, or running are other ways.

I am tempted to have a glass of wine, but I find that I wake up four hours later like clockwork (same with nighttime cold medicines, and for the same reason-alcohol). Try some camomile tea instead.

Another interesting trick is to schedule when you WILL think about the thing on your mind. Clearly there is something to resolve. So think about it. Then, when the hour is over, move onto the next item on your "To Do" list.

And if the thing on your mind warrants it, go to a therapist to get help with the problem.

Best wishes.

Here are my ideas, for what they're worth:

Your brain keeps going all the time, even when you aren't aware. If it really shut off, you'd be, um, dead.

But that's not what you're talking about, is it?

If your mind is going in directions it shouldn't go in, it's up to you to give it some new directions. It lives in your head and that means you're the boss.

So tell it, "No way!" Be proactive. Make new choices. Read different things than you're reading now. Turn off the television. Monitor your computer activities. Shake up your daily schedule if you can. Get fresh air. Get exercise. Get a new hobby. Do different good things with your children. Think what your closest buddies are like... and if they're not helping your mind with positive input, change your buddies.

Don't wait for circumstances outside you to change or for somebody else to change. Do it yourself, even a little bit.

If your imagination starts picturing things you don't want to see, *deliberately* substitute different pictures. (Funny different mental pictures might help - a little humor can be a total embarrassment to a figment of the imagination.) And start getting physically busy (that helps so much - with your sleeping as well as your thinking!).

It's sounds crazy but it isn't: when your mind starts going in the wrong direction, you can divert it to a better direction with action. We're all creatures of habit, and if, for instance, my mind gets fixed on comfort food, I can change what my mind is doing by changing my action. The hardest part, for me, is deciding that I really DO want to let go of what I'm thinking about. But: a) I can't have it both ways, and b) my imagination and my habits don't have to be in control of me. (I somehow doubt that you're thinking about comfort food, but I hope you get the idea.)

A well-respected motivational speaker often said: "You are what you are and where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You can change what you are and where you are by changing what goes into your mind." It isn't any kind of magical formula. It's isn't an impossibility, either. It's just work. Put better stuff in your head, and better stuff will come out. It sounds corny, but it works.

When you do this, you may possibly discover that you need outside help with whatever is keeping you from getting out of your own head. If you find this to be the case, get that help.

All you can do is distract yourself with something that takes your full attention, and requires some interaction, like a conversation or a good book.

Mindless TV. It keeps a part of my brain occupied that would otherwise, not shut up!

If it's something I need to do and am worried that I will forget, I write a long, detailed email to myself.

If it's more of a vent or something that keeps going around in my head then I write it all down in my journal.

For me, the process of writing it all out, one place or another, allows my brain to let go of it.

Me too. I hate that. When something or someone rattles me badly, it keeps me up at night. Add my menopause to it, with waking up in the middle of the night, and it's a recipe for sleeplessness...

I guess what has helped me is being BUSY. Being involved with things outside of myself. Still, it's not enough.

I wish I had more to offer. I'll be reading your other answers...

Couple beers or glasses of wine, then hang out w/hubby or bestie, get it off your chest & let yourself move on. Mindless TV helps me a lot too. Golden girls? Yes, please! Lol. Or investigation discovery channel, love that! It'll be ok, in a couple days you'll be thinking bout something else. Or go on mamapedia & fiddle around like I do. Idk mama, gd luck.

I think declaration of the facts helps me.
If I'm really mulling on something, I try to figure out what (in my head) are the 'facts' of the situation and what about it I might be imposing myself-- other people's possible perceptions, reactions.

Sometimes, I have to admit that there's nothing I can do about a situation and accept that it's out of my hands, or that my influence may not really change anything and I need to wait to be asked for help. Or, that I might need to ask someone else for help.

Overall, though, I try to also just let things be. Last year there were a few sleepless nights where I had to let go of my fears and accept that I could not control the situation I was worried about. And that I'd have to let the chips fall where they may.

I don't know if that's helpful. Sometimes, a martini before bedtime also works wonders.

@ Megan-- are we sisters? Um, please pass the "Burns and Allen" when I'm stuck in the evenings. Writing it out sometimes helps, but yes, vintage tv is wonderful!

Do something else.
Talk to someone else.
Go somewhere else.

(Do something different.)

My mind wanders to problems when I try to fall asleep, so I listen to old radio shows on an app on my phone to fall asleep. It keeps my mind off things so I can rest.

My mind doesn't work like that.

I'm ADHD... So I CAN'T just shut it off, or think of something else.

It's the classic "Whaddyamean sing a hymn to replace dirty (yummy) thoughts?!? Now I've got a sound track! Oh that's creepy. Shudder."

ADHD minds both hyperfocus AND can run multiple thoughts at the same time. It took me years to learn that neurotypical brains don't, so most of the advice out there for clearing your mind, etc., simply don't apply. Like telling a pregnant woman to "suck it in" to have a slim waistline. Ummmmm... That's just not going to work.

Which ALSO means that my coping mechanisms rarely work for neurotypocal folk.

What does work... Only works for a limited time (aka while Im doing it). But its still a nice reprieve, when Im able to do so. It was jaw dropping to find out on certain meds that I could literally decide to think about something later, deal with something later, or just go to bed (not exhausted) and go to sleep. It generally takes me a minimum of 1 hour laying in bed to go to sleep and that's ONLY if Im already both physically & mentally exhausted. If I'm not completely exhausted both physically & mentally, after an hour of laying down... My eyes just *pop* open, and Im stuck awake for at least another 6 hours. Since having taken those meds, Im a lot more tolerant of obnoxious people who think anyone can just "be responsible & decide" to go to bed early, or get up. I thought they were just raging jerks before. Now, I know they just don't realize that that's not something everyone is capable of. Because they can, they think everyone can, so if you're not... You're clearly irresponsible/ lazy/ whatever. Nope. This isn't my mind/choice. This is my brain. As soon as you can "decide" to see in black and white, or grow wings, or speak 40 languages in 10 seconds just by maki the decision to know them... Then I'll take you seriously about "deciding". :D

What does work to greater or lesser degrees:

- Drugs (of various kinds, ADHD meds/ Xanax/ etc.)
- Extreme physical exercise (I'm talking 10 hours of snowboarding, dancing, etc. Not some 20 minute thing.)
- Mind blowing sex.
- 36 hour says. Yep. Resetting the clock. I stay up for 27- 29 hours, then sleep for 7-9 hours. I don't hit "sleepy" until 25 hours (that most people,appear to hit at 12-14 hours)
- Less effective drugs (caffeine: for myself if I drink 6-8 shots of espresso in about 10 minutes, I can gomtomsleep in about an hour. Yep. That's the ADHD thing. Stimulants calm us down. Also allergy meds like Benadryl).
- Sensory overload (less mind blowing sex, music so loud it blocks out everything else, difficult driving, etc.)
- Studying difficult material
- Books & Movies & writing

Best of luck to you!

I start a journal - either on my computer or in a book - and write it all out...my concerns...my thought process...what I think the course should be - what the ramifications/consequences will be with the choices I make.

Hope that helps

Usually I pray for the person (if it's a person and with me it usually is). I pray they are happy and fulfilled and gentle in the future. This seems to calm me.

An now that I have time, I paint! Just the act of painting once a week takes me to a totally different world, where nothing matters for 2 hours. I have to concentrate on the "feel" of what I am doing, moving with the mixing of colors, strokes and shapes. The peace this gives me has taught me to even think of painting when I am stressed or having negative thoughts.

i hope i read some good answers here. i'm terrible about this!
khairete
S.

What I do is tune my subconscious mind in to something else so I can focus on what I need to focus on. It's like a toddler in my head who needs a distraction while I pay the bills. Hell, maybe I should be on drugs.