How Do Working Moms Do It?

If they are really interested in having you for the newer job maybe you can make some kind of bargain for getting a flexible schedule?
What about longer days MWF and shorter days (or differently scheduled days T TH?
I used to work until about 3 or 4 PM and I still felt like I had no time with my kids, because when I got home it was forcing them to do homework, then it was cooking, eating, dishes, laundry, showers, bedtime.
Basically I nagged at them from the time I got home, til bedtime, just to get everything done...it sucked.
There have to be more choices than the two you see now...I would try to make a deal about the schedule, or try looking for a different job that has a more workable schedule. How about something that is stimulating but part time?

My personal opinion? I think I'd rather be working at a grocery store right now if it meant being home more with my daughter. I have two BAs and a Master's. If we could afford it, I might consider it. This is coming from someone who actually enjoys her job... I do love it, but I am missing out on time with my baby that I can NEVER get back.

You will hear probably from both sides of the spectrum on this. Stay with your current job and spend more time with your kids OR take the other job and spend more time with a career you will feel is more rewarding then the one you have now.

Maybe you can have the best of both worlds?

I was in your shoes and I took the better job, however, I also negotiated my work hours. They really wanted me on board with the company as I possessed all the skills they were looking for so they adjusted the hours to meet my needs. Can you possibly ask the Company if you could work from 6-3 OR 7-4? Doesn’t hurt to ask….

Hi S.S. - we all have to make choices... and I do work normal hours (and sometimes into the night when I deal with international issues. For you, I think you have made up your mind that you want to spend more time with your baby - then that is what you should do and BE PROUD of your choices! For us, I don't have a choice because we need our dual income (current level) to pay for mortgage, insurance, etc etc etc. But if I don't need to - then I would go for a much less stress job (so it is mind boggling boring) but you are there until early afternoon then you come home to your beautiful baby - that's what is important!

Be proud of your choices - and realize that most moms (your friends) will be jealous of the quality time you get with your baby (although they may not say so - but trust me, they do)!

Best of luck!

Well, I have a degree in social work and worked in the field before I had kids. Once I had my son, I worked in the same field, with a little better hours- but still had to be "on call" and often worked weekends and such. After 2 more kids I took a job as a "administrative assistant". It was a huge adjustment. But the hours were great! I never had to "bring my work home".
I totally understand the embarrassment factor. I was qualified to be my boss (and often felt like I could do the job better than he could) but I was doing it for my children.
Who cares what other people say or think. It really matters what you want. If you want to be a mother first and a career women second, then your current jobs seems perfect. But if you want to further your career, then you do need to get out of the position that you are in and focus on your career for the future so that you will not be "new" and have more flexibility for your children as they get older. Your baby will not be going to bed by 6 forever. And if your day started later, the baby would stay up later too.

I personally would stick out that old boring job to be able to spend more time with my kids ...unless of coarse the added income was needed.I only work part time and cant even imagine working full time....I want to see my son grow.

My husband and I both work full time M-F 8-5ish and we both own our own insurance agencies. Although our kids are older, we pack all of our "fun" family time into our weekends and vacations. Our jobs allow us the finances (usually, we have taken a hit in this economy) to do things we want with the kids regardless of cost. Your son is not going to remember if you were the one making him dinner every night or not. He will remember the "fun" times he had with you.

I would NOT try to change your sons sleep schedule. Both of my kids from birth slept from 6pm-6am until they were almost 3, in their own rooms. And they are great sleepers now, it's not wise to ruin that!

Just wanted to let you know there are moms that work full time outside the home who have well adjusted kids. Good luck to you!

Sometimes we do work in jobs literally for years just to be mama. I spent a lot of years as a substitute with a college degree, now a paralegal certificate and do not have a job that really pays anything that someone with my background would command. I do not regret it.

I recently cut my hours at work. I love my job and am lucky to have such a great employer that has given me flexibility. BUT I am giving up a lot by working less (advancement, benefits, education, clients, etc) and I did it because I wanted to put my family first. I was working full time, depending on the week I worked either 3 or 5 days and worked from 9 to 7 or 8 depending on the day. I was able to see my son three days a week for maybe an hour if I was lucky. He would get up at 7:30 - 8:00 and I would leave at 8:30 and he would be in bed at 7:30. My days off were so busy and we are constantly running around doing errands and our time together was always stressed. It took me months to come to terms with giving up my hours but after being home more for two weeks now I know it is the right choice for me.

For me it was important to put my family first even though career wise it was not the best move. The way I looked at it the time with my son I will never get back and he will not be young forever. You can always utilize your MBA later when your baby grows up.

It is not an easy decision and I do agree being happy and taking pride with your work effects your mentation. BUT having that time lost with my son breaks my heart and I can never get that back. Unless it is an amazing opportunity of once in a lifetime I might pass. So yes, at least for me, it was as horrible as you are picturing it to be.

I saw from your previous post that your son is 11months old. Can you maybe give him an extra nap during the day so that he can stay up later? That is what we did with our son. My husband works long hours so if our son went to bed early, he would never get to see his dad. Hubby works from 6:30am-8 or 8:30pm or later. Our son is now 2 1/2 and stays up until 10:30 and that is the time he has always gone to bed. When he was younger, we would take two naps, now we (I say we because I have fibromyalgia and have to take a nap also to make it through the day) take one 3 hour nap from around 3-6pm. He goes to bed around 10:30 or 10:45 and gets up at 8:30. That works for us.

I know how you feel. All I have to say is that I work 4am till 12p 4 days a week at a low paying job (when I could work a normal daytime job), because I want to be with my daughter as much as possible. That is what I chose to do, and I don't know how I will feel as she gets older. I do feel embarrassed sometimes but then I remember it is for my daughter, so I can be with her as she grows up.

I do like the ideas that others gave, trying to adjust the hours at the new job!

I stay at home with my kids (3 of them under 4), and I'll have my PhD soon. I'm not looking for a job anytime soon, but I put boredom as #1 on the list. If you are not happy, and you're bored at your job, that will affect your ability to mother.
I envy you! My baby goes to bed at 10pm and THAT'S a struggle. The toddlers go to bed by 9pm. My problem is opposite, in that I have no time away from them at all. I think if I did have a job I liked, I'd be a better mom for it.
I would go with the JOB that you want. 8:30 to 5:30 is very traditional, and it's not like you'd be working 80 hours a week, which could really be a strain. Have good, stimulating care for your child. And, maybe your baby could go to bed later? :)

I accepted a promotion when my daughter was a year old. Worst decision ever! I regret it every day.
I liked my old position, it was easy (yes boring, but easy) and I didn't have to prove myself every day. My stress level is through the roof and I sooo wish I could go back to boring...
I work until 5 PM, my daughter goes to bed at 8 PM... it just not enough time I always feel like I am neglecting someone or something. The weekends are packed with chores, as a matter of fact I just folded 3 loads of laundry today that have been sitting since last weekend.

In my opinion the money/prestige are not worth it... no one is going to give you back the hours with your daughter.
Good luck!

If you know yourself - and know that what matters to you most is the time with your child - then don't change jobs - IF you know that you hate your job and you will resent it - then you should look for something else. There may be other jobs with flexible hours or telecommuting options that allow you to be home with your child - don't settle for something that makes you unhappy.

I work part time night shift as a nurse - so that I can be home for my kids during the day -( they are all in school now). I know for me - I will never look back on my life wishing I had worked more and enjoyed my kids less... that is just me though! I had career aspirations - but taking care of my 3 kids - then my sick mother - curtailed some of them for now - I know I have only a short time to raise my children - and a lifetime to do school/work.

I work from home, and it's great. I get to set my own hours, and be at home and not miss a minute of my son's life. I would be happy to get you information, if you'd like. Either email me ____@____.com with a good time/day and your phone number so I can connect with you, or ask for info from my website, and I'll connect with you that way. www.workathomeunited.com/joycita It's really been a great oportunity for me, and I love it! Hope you can figure it out!
J.

I dont think your baby will go to sleep at 6 forever, that is a bit early. It isnt rocket science, pick what is most important if you are at a time in your life where being your kids is more important then make the sacrafice and stay where you are. Many people would be grateful to have your job. If having a more rewarding professional life/career is more important than take the other job kwim? Most people work 'till 5 or 6 and it works out just fine. I understand where you are coming from but fyi most working moms dont get to be home at 3 to pick up their kids from school. You have to make a choice and sacrafice something. Thats the way it works. :)

I'm sorry, I really don't mean to sound rude, but your baby goes to bed at 6?

I just can't fathom that.

Personally, I'd choose to do something mundane now that allows you to be with your kids, as long as it pays the bills. You will have many years to work a more fulfilling career-type job all too soon, when your precious little ones are in school. My humble opinion.

If your job is important to you, and it sounds like it is, I think you should consider taking the new job. As another poster said, your baby won't go to bed at 6 forever. Yes, you'll miss out on the afterschool time, but there's dinner, homework, etc etc. While it's true you won't get the time back with your kid(s) you also don't want to wake up 15 years down the road when the kids are moving out and say "I have 50 more years of my life, but I don't have a fulfilling job to do, and I missed the opportunity." Any choice that you make is a compromise, and you have to decide what you want to compromise, but as a working mom (and the child of a mom who worked a lot more than I do) you just figure out how to make it happen. I'm not going to say that in some ways it isn't a loss, but in other ways its a gain. You just need to think about what is going to make you, and your family, happy. Good luck.