How Do We Keep up for All That Is Asked of Us

Please just keep in mind the wise advice that "A gift is a gift and it really IS the thought that counts"! Don't stress. Simplify!
Make a few batches of a yummy dessert (like Ghirardelli brownies) and take nice "gold" paper plates and adorn with a beautiful bow. Be creative. You cannot support every single cause and charity that comes down the pike! No O. can.

I just make priorities. We have never had a lot of money so I can not give it all away. I did make sure our daughters teachers were at least told how much I appreciated them.. If I could not give them gift cards or whatever.. I made sure our daughter wrote them a note for special occasions.. I also wold volunteer to help them up at school in any way possible.

Through our daughters schools there are lots of kids and families that are part of our community, so I would put our efforts into helping in different ways. I would send out emails with a "needs list".. We also had a family that took in a young cousin when his entire family was killed in a fire.. There was no insurance so I organized the donations and kept up with all of the thank you notes. I could only afford $10. but we received checks for up to $500. from some families.. I know some churches ask for a percentage.. that is up to you to decide how much your family can donate.. there are also ways to help at the church without donating money.. Like mowing the grounds, cleaning the offices.. etc.. it is your time so that they will not need the money to hire others to do this work.. speak with them about their needs.

Each year I take on 1 part time job that lasts 1 week. It is sales at an event.. All of the money I make at that event goes towards gifts and the Christmas season.. We have never charged Christmas.. Also as a group gift for our neighbors.. we used to make a pitcher of mimosas Christmas morning and go door to door pouring them for the parents.. On New Years Morning it is Bloody Mary's.. This takes care of them..
I usually gave a "family Book" to each family's children..

I do not expect gifts, I love spending time and having experiences.. Think of fun times to have with these people in your lives.. It does not have to be anything that costs anything.. Caroling, walking in neighborhoods to tour their yard lights.. Take thermos of hot chocolate and visit under the city lights where you all live..

Bills, tithing and savings come first from each paycheck. Small allotments in the other parts next from a budget we can afford. Gifts and other expensives are small and inexpensive. Know what you can afford and learn to say 'no' to things you can't. Learn not to feel guilty if you can't donate every time, if you can, volunteer your time instead. Or choose one organization to donate to a month, just so long as your basics are covered and that you aren't overindulging in those as well.

Money goes to our kids and ourselves in the form of food, shelter, and neccessary clothes. That's really it, because we don't have any extra. And yes, it is stressful and overwhelming when our son comes home every month with a book order form, a new PTO fund raiser, and fliers for every activity going on in town (that all cost money). We buy supplies that are neccessary for school projects and that's it. The rest of my time with my kids is spent doing free stuff like going to the library, the park, walks through the neighborhood, playdates at friends houses. When we were attending church we gave a fw bucks here and there, whenever we could, but they knew our financial situation, and never pressured us, just the opposite - they offered to pay our mortgage (which we declined) and brought us a complete thanksgiving dinner (this, in my opinion is what a church should be about). Just take care of your kids needs and the rest can wait until you truly can afford to give!

Goodness, I totally get you! It's like it doesn't stop for 4 weeks straight. I try to not give a lot of money, rather I just bake a lot and give lots of goodies. That's what my daughters teacher is getting, and the girls in the office at school. Also the mail carrier, bus driver, and some neighbors that we are close with. My group of friends all go to dinner together one night and do a very inexpensive ornament exchange instead of buying gifts for everyone. My husband and do not buy for each other, and we urge family to have name exchanges instead of having to buy for 10 people. It's working for us, and we're thankful for great people in our life, but some things really can slide. Good luck!

Food for my family, basic needs, and gas to get to work are priorities. If we don't eat and we can't get to work, we're pretty much screwed. :)

After that, rent, car payments, car insurance, and anything else that is necessary for survival (heat, electric, etc.).

Then I pay the rest of the bills (credit cards, phone, etc.).

We used small amounts throughout the late summer and early fall to buy modest Christmas gifts. When I have something with me, I put it in for charity. If I'm at a red light and have granola bars in my car and someone is on the side of the road, he or she gets something to eat from me. I am (sadly) behind on giving at church, but I do believe it is most important to meet my family's basic needs. If it is not there, I can't give or spend it, so my choices are somewhat easy to make. We have friends over for dinner and try to spend time with them because time and hospitality are what we have to offer. =)

I keep in mind: Charity begins at home.

I take care of my family's needs first and foremost. I then ONLY do charity where I feel like... which is usually NOT when I've been asked to.

The one year my son was in public school not a SINGLE week went by without them asking for money. Not a week! Some weeks we had multiple requests. They were mostly "fundraisers" to which the school got a whopping 5%. So I out and out refused except for the cookie dough sale (the one time the kids had flyers and schtuff). Instead I gave $50 to my son's teacher for school supplies (not a lot, but better that the $2.50 that would have gone to the school... much less his own teacher, and we were living off of student loans at the time). I also donated several items (like a centrifuge) to the science dept, and would get others to help get money together (or work hours together) specifically to go to the school. Not 95% to whatever company and 5% to the school.

Ditto... I happen to have more time than money... so something kiddo and I do most years is a babyfood & formula drive one or three times a year for the local battered women's shelter, or to my OB/Gyn office (who take a lot of pro bono/ low income patients), or to be distributed through kinship placement fostercare. When in doubt I often phone up Catholic Community Services. We're not catholic, but it's an org that has helped more people that I know personally than any other. And the vast majority of it's "employees" are volunteers. So if I happen to have some time or need some ideas for barter work (like who needs formula, or jackets, or PJs desperately right now?), I can usually phone them up and find out who "needs" that's not getting.

I'll also donate actual cash to the Red Cross, Doctors without Borders, or other NGOs that I particularly happen to like. Since I listen to NPR I pledge some there as well. I don't care how big any of their overheads are.. their overhead allows them to help millions.

We don't happen to have a lot of money at this point in our lives. Often, over the first 5 years of kiddo's life people would be hounding me to donate to organizations that I was a RECIPIENT from. (Ummm... Sorry.) But when we have a little extra I like to cast bread upon the waters. But it has to be at a time of my own choosing, and at my own discretion. I'm far more likely to give a bum a dollar (who am I to say their pain isn't worth dulling?), or buy a homeless kid a burger, than I am to give to any organization that I don't have their annual reports in front of me.

There always worthwhile organizations, as well as school, that will be looking for donations. Your family and your bills need to come first. Don't be afraid to say no and don't feel guilty for saying no.

What's important? You need to make that decision for yourself. What may be important to me, may not be important to you. That's part of the reason why there are so many hands out. Everyone has a cause that is important to them.

If you are in a public school, remember that it is completely optional for you to participate in the fundraisers and other activities. As far as teachers, yes it's nice to show your appreciation in the form of a gift, but if you don't have the extra money, a card made your child along with a note from you goes a long way. If they are taking up a collection for a teachers gift and it's more than you want to give, simply say I already purchased a gift.

Good luck.

LOVE Laurie A's suggestions...

It all starts with prayer.
It can be overwhelming without the right perspective. You didn't write about bills or needs, but about charity. Charity comes from your heart and is between you and our Father.
Take some time and pray on it. Ask for guidance and wisdom to see where your gifts are needed most.
Give where you can give, and give cheerfully. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to do it all, because we are not asked to do it all. We are asked to give what we can with a heart of gratefulness.

If everyone was of the focus that you have in wanting to give in all the right ways we would live in a much better world.

May your heart be full of the blessings of the Season.