How Do U Survive Toddlerhood?

Actually, I enjoyed those years. I just kept things simple. I used repetition, clear and short commands so my kid would understand everything easily.
Don't worry, keep trying and be consistent!

A. :)

Other than the fact that I never got a break, the toddler years were easy compared to the teen years. I much prefer toddlers.

Wine...glasses of wine.

Those years are really hard. I just tried to be consistent with expectations. There were some things that simply were not up for negotiation - you WILL sit in your carseat when we go anywhere. I tried to give two choices for other things that didn't matter as much - would you like peas or carrots with dinner? Either choice is fine with me and the child feels like they got to choose...

Oh my!

I am going to sound like a 'preacher'!

One survives toddler hood by KNOWING...with OUT FAIL...that YOU are laying the groundwork for issues further down the road.

Laying the groundwork NOW makes teen years potentially easier. (promise).

I am an advocate of 'positive guidance', redirection, and time outs.

PERIOD.

My kiddos are now 25 to 18 year old twins (on monday).

I was consistent.

I drew lines.

I did not 'bargain'.

I did not make 'threats'...IF I stated a consequence for behavior, they could rely on it.

And wine...

LOTS of wine...lol

**and the occasional 'WHINE' as well!!

Best!

What worked for me:
1. Consistency. This meant daily, predictable routines. There was time for sitting and playing together, time to get in the stroller to run errands, (morning worked best), and time outside. Naptimes and meals were consistent each day, so that the child wasn't stretched beyond limits. We only ate at the table or if we were out, in the stroller or high chair.

2. Understanding the limitations and capabilities of a toddler. You can google "toddler development",but basically try to remember that their brain is still rapidly developing but their emotional responses are still based in their more 'primitive' lower brain.

3. Keep communication simple. This means that if I offered choices for food, they were not presented verbally, but on the plate. Parents today make two big mistakes: "asking" instead of directing ("Are you ready to go home?" umm, no. Who's in charge Simply "It's time to go home. Let's say bye-bye to the books, bye bye library, time to go home." ) and offering WAY too many choices. Most kids will choose something and then decide they want something else two minutes later. You are the adult. Keep the communication confident-- you know better than they do what they need.

4. Less talking and explaining, more simple correction. My son would love to climb up on the table at this age while I was making dinner, which was dangerous. I gave him one 'warning' "Keep your feet on the floor or you sit in the stroller." He'd get up again and I'd pop him into the stroller with a few toys to keep him busy. There was no power struggle re 'time outs' and making him comply with sitting, just "you can be safe here" and calmly going about my business. Also did this a lot while I worked in the garden and he was heading toward the street.

5.Adjust the environment. Don't want your kid to get into things? Put them away. I used fasteners for under the kitchen sink (chemicals) and everything else was more or less placed out of reach. Some won't agree, but because of our house's layout and steep stairs, we had gates between the hall and the living room and at the tops of both sets of stairs. This helped eliminate him getting attention for being in places which weren't safe and kept him within view when I was cooking.

Martinis in the evenings and comedies also helped. :) I found being consistent, calm and having a containment option during tantrums or safety concerns (stroller, pack and play) and making sure I was doing my part as the adult to think ahead-- all of these have helped me over many years not only as a mom but as a lead caregiver of a toddler group. Good luck.

I completely disagree with feline stroller and fanged bunny.

MARGARITAS.

Everything else they said is the spot on truth.

Here is what I can also tell you. It sounds like you have one of the dreaded "spirited" kids. :-) 2 of my 3 are that way. (the baby is a D.R.E.A.M.) I have a 14 year old girl and a 3 1/2 year old boy.

I have found that instead of getting above them to give them limits I parented from underneath them to give them support and open up possibilities.

Instead of bracing myself for their tantrums (no stroller, no calling my friends parents) I engaged them **ahead of time** with giving them limited, age-appropriate control over their environment.

and above all - pick your battles.

Good luck!

Sounds sensory.. all kids do it, but sensory kids take it to a new level.

My first is Sensory/ADHD, my second is not and there was a huge difference in those things you mentioned.

1. Wine.
2. We enlisted the help of a behavioral conditioning child psych (to help us with our parenting skills). He suggested, child led play to foster engagement; specific praise as appropriate; diversion and limited choices (to promote empowerment). He also gave us tips on transitions, establishing routines, and establishing groundrules.
3. Confidence in the knowledge that this too shall pass.

Best,
F. B.

Truthfully..? I'm not really sure!

There are some days were I simply marvel that I haven't gone bonkers as the mom of two boys. They somehow manage to be fun, hilarious, adorable, confusing and nerve wrackingly frustrating all at the same time!

You're bigger, you're stronger, you're in charge.

Climbing-Stay watchful and remove all chances possible. If that means confinement (Pack N Play, highchair, crib) when you have to leave the room, so be it. Ignore any protests and tell her she has to go in here because she's climbing on the ___ and you'll be right back.

Highchair/stroller refusals, arching back- You're bigger, you win. Simple as that. Bend her where needed (gently) and STRAP HER IN.

Getting mad-Tell her she's fine and ignore it. Let her be mad. Ignore all fits until she's done.

Pushing/throwing food-Give a warning or two and then take it away. She's probably going to throw a fit, so let her. Ignore her until she's done and then offer the food back, telling her you're going to take it away if she can't keep it on the tray. Then, follow through and don't give it back. She won't starve to death and she'll learn.

The sooner you address this , the faster she's going to stop.

I have had a home daycare for 11 years and have "survived" over 30 toddlers. The key is staying in control and staying in charge.

Discipline starts now or it only gets worse for the next 3 years! Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson is a great book. How your child acts at 2 and 3 and beyond depends COMPLETELY on how you decide to handle the child now. All three of mine started discipline around 14-18 months old. I would not have survived toddlerhood without. Toddlers can't refuse strollers and seat belts and high chairs and throw food and throw fits UNLESS PARENTS LET THEM. If they get away with it, they'll do it. Good luck, you can do it!

Sometimes the terrible twos get an early start.
I agree with Tracy A - a glass of wine (for you) every now and then is good.
Some ear plugs will come in handy too.
I guess you can hope that how ever bad this gets, maybe she'll get it out of her system now and be an angel of a teenager later on.
Hang in there!

Drink. A lot lol! I babysit my granddaughters 5 days a week. The oldest one who is not quite 2 1/2 was like a porcelain doll. Sat her down, came back 3 days later she would still be there. Walked at 18 months but talked very early. Never got into anything. Now she is a typical 2 year old, opinionated but still easy going. Now let's discuss her 8 month old sister. OMG. Started army crawling all over at 4 1/2 months. By 7 months cruising. Like to get into small spaces. Gets into everything!! I feel like I live in San Quentin death row unit!!!!at 8 months she tries to climb on everything. Stands alone. Chases the dog. Anything in her way. Just tosses it. We call her BamBam. I always have wine on hand for when she leaves. She is a peanut and the cutest little thing but what a terror. I can only imagine her at a year, 18 months!!! My husband and I are not 25 anymore!!! Good luck. Forgot about the stairs. In a flash up the flight. There are gates all over, licks on cabinets etc. like I said San Quentin!!!!

When our kids were little, we did not have the "stuff" that we have now. That makes it a bit harder. 40 years in the same house. There is more furniture etc.

Scotch.
That and I actually love those years, being a bit of a rebel myself, I saw a lot of myself in them and I really got into the exploring and fascination of being a toddler. The second year is my favorite! We spent a LOT of time in the woods and at playgrounds. It forced me out of the house (I'm a complete introvert) and I guess I just had fun with it. And lots of redirection, it was my go-to disciplinary skill.

I think the hardest age-- is the age from crawling to sort of reasonable.. so from 9 months to about 2 and a half...

so you are right in the middle of the worst of childhood... after 2 and a half or 3 years.. the kids settle down and listen some of the time..

with a toddler this age.. I found it best to get up ..get dressed and go somewhere... come back home for lunch .. and a nap.. thent he day is almost over.. we joined a couple of playgroups.. took kindermusik classes... really they are only awake for about 4 hours in the morning.. and then 6 hours after their nap.. you can do this..

I have to agree that this sounds like sensory dysregulation. I personally would get an evaluation from an occupational therapist that specializes in children with sensory issues. We had a LOT of the same problems with both of my kids and OT has been a life changer! But, the earlier you do it the more impact therapy can have on changing the internal systems that cause the dysregulation. The longer it takes to get recognized or helped, the more coping strategies are used instead of actually fixing the body. I hope that makes sense. If you want more information to start, look at spdfoundation.net. Children don't have to have sensory processing disorder to have dysregulation....but the treatment is the same.

By taking it 24 hours at a time. One issue (pushing food) at a time.
The phase will last a little bit then you get a break then the next stage comes. Yikes!

When you find something doesn't work (high chair), look & see how you can change/modify it. Have her sit ina baby-support chair in the chair next to you when you feed her.

Pushing foods? Put a plastic sheet on the ground so clean up is easy.
They need to explore their world in a safe environment while you keep your sanity.

Refusing stroller, put her in the big cart w/blankets down for a diff "ride"
putting your foods down below on the rack or where the kids usually sit
up front.

Getting mad? A normal stage/feeling for ALL human beings. A natural
response when they can't do something for themselves or want to do
something else is to get mad.

When you can, let her walk a bit when safe. Let her hold your hand & walk around a bit at a park etc.

Climbing everywhere? Make your home very safe. This takes moving
stuff, getting rid of unsafe things, covering up holes, protecting corners
w/those rubber things in the baby section.

She's obviously curious, adventurous, independent etc. Work "within"
those parameters. Work "with" what you have thinking outside the box.
What worked for your other kids may not work with this child.

Get breaks when you can. Take a deep breath remembering what is
truly important.

When what you present is met w/resistance, try to find an alternative.
There is almost always another way. I can't tell you how many times I
have changed my routines, ways, methods etc. growing "with" my child,
rolling w/the punches. It has saved my sanity.

Take help when offered. Sometimes grandma could get her to eat something I could not get her to eat, etc.
Edit: not all kids like sitting. Some things are uncomfortable for them. Not
all kids are the same in tolerance. Diff personalities require diff methods.
Don't give up, get creative.

Looks like this one is "spirited" :). Don't push the highchair. See if sitting at a small table gets better results. Probably doesn't want to be a "baby" anymore. I think this might help with the overall attitude. Good luck!

Yes, booze!

I currently have a cranky 19 month old on my lap.

Mastering transitions makes life easier. What I do is get her excited about the next thing. We sing the clean-up song or the bye-bye- song, and then move in to the next thing.

She hasn't been in a high chair since 15 months. We tried a booster, but after a month she decided she's too big for that.

Here's the thing, unless it's truly dangerous, don't fight. I just let mine have a cookie. She didn't eat it, and is eating a bowl of cornflakes instead. Problem solved itself :-)

But have a schedule, be consistent, and just prevent as much as possible.

What you are dealing with is normal. Wait till she starts waking up mad and screaming at 2 in the morning! Also normal- google 18 month sleep regression. Some kids just are more spirited- both my girls are this way. I think this will serve them well.

You're the adult, be the adult. If she arches her back push her back against the seat then strap her in. If she gets mad so what? You are teaching her to mind and to sit down.

My 2 year old has in the past month went from mild mannered to a terror at times. We found that 'circle time' rather than time out worked well. You makes a circle on the floor with yarn, she shouldn't be able to touch anything from the circle and it should be far away from things like tv or other distractions. If she moves out of the circle, starts yelling or talks to a sibling her 2min sentence starts over. It forces her to cool off when she starts throwing a tantrum. My wife is also fond of just putting her in the shower and turning cold water on if she gets haughty with us.

Generally finding ways to make them calm down work a lot better than letting them scream or cry in a corner.