My Son and Daugter in law have a 7 month old grabddaughter the girl is not the best house keeper but never to a point it was dangerous just clutter, well her mother has moved in on them, and let me just say I never went into to her house but when the kids would leave the smell clung to them you didn't have to go inside to know the dogs used the house as their bathroom, well she brought 2 of the 7 with her since she has been there the house has become bad, dishes piled in both sinks, across the counters and food in them, clothes are not being washed, and the dogs have taken to using their bedroom floor instead of going out, its getting bad my son works the girl does not if baby is asleep she play on computer, anything but clean it has become unsanitary and I know if DHS came in what would happen I don't want to be bad guy but my son is ready to kick her out and take the baby said he can have his sister live there and take care while he is at work, and she will keep the house clean, I have already told her on my day off we are cleaning the place if she doesn't change here ways I will get my son a lawyer and she will be gone there is no reason to live this way my mom became a Hoarder of the worst type I had moved to another Town and when she died and I found out how she was living I totally freaked, I won't let that happen to my Grandchild
Thank you for the input I'm gonna help clean that's what I'm doing on my day off, and wether she and her Momma like it or no does not matter to me the house will be clean when I leave to go home, I won't call DHS cause that , I guess what irritates me. Most is I had 3 kids age 4, 7, 10 and I kept my house clean, and feel if she can do it with one kid then she needs counselling in a bad way, will update friday when we get done
It it's really that bad, your son should leave with the child. He should file for immediate temporary custody. He should also take some photos so you have evidence of the way they were living.
It sounds to me like they need support, not interference. It is very hard to add a baby to a relationship, and if you are encouraging your son to leave his wife, it could very well come back on you if they stay together. Offer to help, or even pay for a maid service, but if her mother is staying with them, they probably have much bigger issues than a dirty house, and you offering to get a lawyer and call DHS, will only drive a wedge further into your relationship with your son (in the long run). Just my humble opinion...they need you, but you need to change your perspective and try to find ways to help, not hinder.
I would call DHS and let them come in and do it for you. The baby will soon be crawling and this is downright dangerous. So sorry to hear this! The baby deserves better conditions. Your son needs to insist the place be cleaned up! If he won't do it or insist she and her mother do it, he may have to have her leave or leave himself. Best wishes, You need to do what is right for the baby.
NO being gentle on this one, take off the bunny soft mittens and get in her face about it.
The only person who doesn't have a choice in the matter here is the poor baby. I'd offer to help clean up to start. Get them to start fresh - maybe it is just too overwhelming. If they don't keep it up then move on to plan B - and if your son and daughter can make a reasonable LONG TERM plan, go for it. It is not healthy for the poor baby.
good luck.
