How Do I Stop Snooping Niece & Inconsiderate Family?

The only thing I could even suggest, is to get new babysitters. The more time that this goes on the more fustrating it is gonna be. You'll never have that get away from home if this keeps going!!! And every time you have a family thing you'll not want to go because you will feel some type of way about them. And maybe about him since it is his side of the family..

Perhaps you could suggest they babysit at your boyfriend's mothers instead. If it is her house, then there would be more rules for the 17 year old niece and you wouldn't have to worry about what she was getting into. Just pack enough food and diapers for the day.

You might try talking to your boyfriends mother and tell her that you've noticed that on the days she is babysitting, your things have been gone through and used (your makeup and such). Tell her you would prefer not to share those items. It is a health consideration. Women are not supposed to share their makeup because of shared germs and such. Also, try leaving a note on the refrigerator that says, please don't eat the following items but also add on there to help themselves to the rest. In this way, they will understand that you bought those foods special for your diet but you appreciate what they are doing for you. You may, also, want to leave a treat that you know they like, such as cheesecake. When they get there, tell them you left it in the refrigerator for them because you appreciate their help. Say it all in a kind tone and follow it up with sound reasoning. In this way, you can set boundaries without making them feel unwelcome.

If that doesn't work, you could look into another babysitter. Perhaps you can find someone else who works part-time and trade off on babysitting. Check with friends and neighbors on who they would recommend for sitting.

Good luck.

Hi M.! My suggestions would be that they do not watch your kids anymore, you discuss the situation with your boyfriend's mother as rational adults, OR you drop the kids off at your boyfriend's mother's house. I think if you drop the kids off at your boyfriend's mother's house then that will also eliminate the stress of them showing up late, etc. I would say discussing it might be tough because unless you have solid proof it is your niece eating your food, using your makeup and hair products, etc. that could be tough. The option to help with all is to have someone else watch them so it wouldn't be a tough situation for you or your boyfriend's mother.

Good luck!
S.

That's awful. I kind of know how you feel. It's stressful enough to be home all the time but it is worse to leave your children and home in someone elses hands. I would recommend not saying anything to them cuz it will probably rub them the wrong way. You asked them to help you so you can't just start to get picky about their help no matter how bad it is. I would ask if they could watch them at their house. The food thing is another issue. I would print out a list of age appropriate foods from a pediatrician or other source. Give it to them and tell them that the doctor said this is what the baby can eat. Highlight the areas on the page that you want them to see. them tell them that the baby can't have sugar at all.
That is what I'd do. Hope it helps
Good luck

You need to tell your boyfriend that they need to stop messing up your house. Tell him to do it or you are going to do it. If I was you I would put up all my make up and any thing that you do not want htem to eat. Tell them that you do not want any body over your house when you are not at home. If this keeps up than you should try to find a new baby sitter. A lot of times you can find a good teenager who would love to watch your kids and keep them safe.

My solution would be to find another sitter, or to maybe find other moms in the area who are willing to swap babysitting hours. When my kids were small, we had a "babysitting swap circle" set up through our local YMCA.

The best thing you can do is tell them as civil as you can. I understand that you may be afraid of offending your boyfriend's family but they have to respect your house and your rules. It's your money that buys those things and the seventeen year old child should understand that. And oh well if you already pushed their buttons. It's your child and you raise them how you deem fit. And who gives a 4 month old that kind of food. they are barely eating baby food at that point. I don't mean to sound like you should be mean but stand your ground. It was the best advice my sister in law gave me. I didn't like the fact that when his extended family (not my inlaws they are great) aunts uncles etc. they were passing my daughter around like a hot potato and all she did was cry because she didn't want to be held and she was two weeks old at the time so I was not very comfortable with anyone holding my child except me and my husband. I said something to my husband first and he seemed to take it the wrong way but my sister in law stood up for me and went and took my daughter from one of the family members. She said she is your child and you do what you want it doesn't matter what anyone else says. So in the same token stand up for yourself and your child and your house.

Hello M.. I don't know how involved in your life your mom in law is other than babysitting, but maybe you could tell her that your hours for work have changed and you don't need her anymore. I don't think I would want to tell her the real reason you don't want her there anymore, but I would definately try to get out of the situation as it stands. If you let it go on, it will fester inside you, and you really will start to hate them. Sometimes when we see too much of someone who we otherwise love, it gets annoying. Especially when they are taking advantage. Good Luck!

M., I went thru the same thing with my inlaws. Put your foot down lay the law as far as your kids go. You are the parent! It was hard for me they spoke badly of me and at times would not talk to me, but, I stuck to my guns and now after a few years of this i have thier respect! Pick and choose what battles you want to fight, they will be many! That was the hardest for me, to choose what was really important and what I could just let slide. This I learned from my mother who also had the same problem many years ago with her own mother in law. Your not alone. Your Kids come first not them! Just remember that. Be strong be firm, you have to live with your kids and any aftermath that your inconsiderate family may have done or do or will do. Good luck. L.

My suggestion is to talk to your boyfriend and have him be the "bad guy" so that it doesn't strain your relationship with the family. My sisters and I know that our mom can be alot to handle and we prefer if our husbands have problems with her that they bring it to our attention and then we talk to her. We are her daughters and she's not going to hate us or hold a grudge with us. Of course, sometimes it's hard to mask the fact that it's coming from our husbands but as long as your boyfriend stands by you and holds his ground she should take it in stride and get over it quickly. My suggestion is to talk about it first and if that doesn't work have a backup babysitter in place just in case. Good luck.

You need to tell them exactly how you feel. That is your house and your things and they are being completely disrespectful. Clearly they have some other type of issues going on if they can't take constructive criticsm. How are you pushing their buttons by telling them what your child can or can't eat? Who feeds a tiny baby cheescake? If they get mad then sorry for them. If you're only working 1 or 2 days a week, you need to take some time off and find a reliable, responsible, mature caregiver. They are not doing you any favors by watching your kids.

Hi M.,

My suggestion is that they don't watch your children anymore. Before I quit my job, family watched my daughter as well. But from the beginning, I made it very clear that she was my daughter and the rules, so to speak, that my husband and I set up were to be followed, or we would go elsewhere. The biggest perk of having family watch your children is so you don't have the anxiety of leaving them with strangers, and you don't have that luxury. You are stressed out more.