How Do I Stay Sane?

I have PCOS and have two wonderful children. My children were born before I was diagnosed though. As horrible as it sounds and I know you have heard it a hundred times, not focusing on having a child but focusing on the relationship between you and your spouse will make a difference. My doctors told me it would be difficult to conceive again but not impossible, did you get the same information? I wish you and your husband luck in whatever happens. It will all work out, just have faith.

Hi S.,

I haven't ever had this problem, but I can tell you that most proffesionals say that when you take the pressure off yourself to pregnant and relax, that it happens. Something you might not have tried: do you know exactly when you are ovulating? Some people do at 14 days after your period starts and some are 9 days after. That would be a good thing to find out since there are only a limited number of days each month that you are actually fertile. Hope this comment helps! Good luck and God Bless!

S.,
I am the wife of a AF member, without PCOS. However, my husband and I have successfully navigated the red tape/limited services of the military health system and finally conceived after 22 cycles of trying (Not including TDY/Deployments).
We went through the whole range of tests and noone could tell us why we couldn't conceive. That was the most frustrating point! Without an answer, we didn't know what to do/not to do, and of course everyone has their own solutions (legs in the air, don't get up for at least 3 hours, etc.). Everyday I saw other wives and friends who were happily/not so happily raising their kids, and those who got pregnant within a couple months of trying and I can definitely relate to the sanity issue.
What helped me the most through the tuffest times was my husband. At night I would sometimes break down and cry. We would have the occasional talks until 1 or 2 in the morning about the next step, or the next test, frustrations, feelings, and desires. He is/was extremely supportive throughout the whole of the situatioin. Sometimes he would just listen and hold me and sometimes he would tell me just how oversensitive I was being (mostly when my feelings were hurt for some stupid reason). But the important thing, was that I didn't get mad about it and start a fight, but I took it from another's perspective and recognized when he was right. There were times, that someone said something and I snapped back at them, or just started crying, but I would always try to go back and tell that person I was sorry and why I was sensitive about the issue. What I learned quickly was how to tell friends/acquaintences when I wanted to talk about it and when I couldn't. If I was in a conversation with a group about the "baby" subject, and I couldn't deal at that time I would politely just excuse myself and go somewhere else, but a lot of the time, I tried to just listen to the other people, without actually participating in the conversation. I tried to learn what to do and more often than not, what not to do when I got into that situation with my own children. Also I had 2 really close friends I could confide in, and they were both very helpful and supportive.
Overall, I think the sanity came and went on most days, but I think talking about it with trusted friends and my own husband helped the most. I know I put him under added stress, and I always tried to encourage him to talk about what he was thinking and feeling, and occasionally we had some really great talks, but it didn't happen everytime.
One thing to remember is to take it one day at a time, some days are better than others.
I would always treat the day we found out we weren't pregnant as a small celebration of two more weeks that I can drink! I wouldn't go out to the bars and go crazy, but just a glass of wine/beer or two with dinner. (And we would go get a GOOD bottle of something) Trying to view it in a positive light did help a little, no matter how silly.
We stopped buying things and coming up with names early on, and that also helped.
I also tried never to view any of the cycles as the one! That would just set me up for dissapointment. But this was always easier said than done!
I would always stay thinking one step ahead, "If this doesn't work, what is the next step."
Finally, we always had the last resort of adoption. (I know adoption isn't a bad thing, but for us, we wanted to exhaust our opportunities first before going that route.)
Along those lines, when we finally tried IVF, I already had at home and had read 3 packets about different agencies who worked adoptions in our state. Staying that one step ahead, I felt was one way I wouldn't be wasting time; which was a huge issue for me. I always hated the waiting, and would try to fill my days/weekends with some activity and I would let myself be distracted by anything. (Oh and I had the IVF info from Walter Reed long before half of the tests were performed. Whenever we went to a new specialist one goal of treatment was to make sure all of the required tests were performed and up to date as per the military requirements for IVF)
To make a long story short, we never went to Walter Reed, but to a local IVF clinic (where we footed the entire bill). But we are now pregnant with twins; the first round of IVF worked for us! Only IVF actually told us why we couldn't conceive (my egg walls are too thick). (There is a test out there that could have told us that, but it was a waste of time to extract my eggs and just look at them. If I am going to go that far to find out why, they might as well fertilize them and put them back!)
I hoped I have helped, Good Luck,
W. J

Hi S.-PCOS is not so fun. I have one baby and now they tell me that the reason I have gained a bunch of weight and have pain all month in my uterus-is the cysts that come and go from PCOS. We want to have another baby and have tried so hard-one thing my doctor said was to lose weight-the more weight you can lose the better your chances.Although you being in the military probably isn't a huge problem for you. My BF from High School has PCOS-she tried for about 3 1/2 yrs to get pregnant and did after she lost weight and used Clomed(sp?). Then, she tried for about 4 yrs to get pregnant again and did with the help of IVF. It is doable-just frustrating. I don't know what you believe about God, but I try to put my faith in Him-knowing if it is His will we will have another baby. If it is not, then we will adopt a baby and love them as our own. Research everything you can about PCOS and talk to people-you might be surprised to find how many women actually have PCOS. I hope the best for you-it is completely possible so keep having faith and hope-that will get you through the tough days-Oh and a hobby helps too. I scrapbook to take my mind off things. Best of luck to you!!

Hi S., before getting pregnant with our 2 years old, i was told that i had PCOS,on both ovaries,but the one on the right was huge, they even showed it to me through ultrasound. Before i discovered that i had it, we were trying for a few of months, when i found out it was january, than in february i found out i was pregnant! We tried not to stress about it, so we just did it for us, for fun, not to conceve, you understand what i mean?? I know it's not easy, but try not to stress toomuch about it, when the time is right, you & your husband will have the surprise of your life, trust me!! Hope this helped!! Good luck to you & your husband!!
V.

S., I have PCOS and three beautiful daughters. You said you were told in January that you have PCOS... is that all they told you about it, that it is cysts on your ovaries? There is so much more to the syndrome than that. Women with PCOS do not ovulate normally so it is much harder to get pregnant. If you are overweight at all, losing weight may help you ovulate more regularly (this may not be an issue since you are active duty). Regular exercise, and a careful eye on the carbs that you eat may help as well. You should avoid processed carbs, including sugar. Stick to foods with a low glycemic index, since part of PCOS is an issue with Insulin. Two of my three daughters were concieved when I was actively losing weight, regular exercise and low glycemic foods. It was a fluke, I didn't really know what I was doing would help at the time, I was just tired of being heavy. My middle daughter was concieved with the help of Clomid and Metformin. CLomid to make me ovulate (I normally only have one or two cycles a year), and Metformin to help with the PCOS. You need to see the GYN, or infertility at the base where you are stationed to see if they can help you with concieving.
There are several good websites out there for PCOS
www.pcosupport.org
www.soulcysters.com
among others... So I guess my best advice is, talk to people who have PCOS and have concieved, and get the doctors to work with you. It is possible to concieve with this disorder, some have to go further than others. Some people will concieve on their own, like I did with two. Others will need medication (shots or pills), some people even have to go so far as having IVF. The key is to get the doctors on board as soon as you can... Keep trying, and try to stay positive. It is hard, I know... Took me 4 years to concieve my first daughter, and 3 more years to concieve my second one.

I have PCOS. The first time I tried to conceive, I had to have hormones just so that I would cycle and ovulate. The firt time I ovulated, I became pregnant with twins.

One year later I became pregnant without trying.

PCOS and Diabetes are connected. There is a good chance you will have gestational diabetes if you pregnant.

There is a connection to insulin production/regulation and PCOS. What I would do if I were you is start the treatment for diabetes. Excrcise and go on a diabetic diet. Focus on fresh meats and veggies. The first treatment for PCOS is usually diabetic medicatin such as metformin, so pretend you have diabetes and treat naturally with diet and excercise. That will greatly increase your chances.

Meanwhile go to the doctor and start looking at your options.

PCOS is def treatable.