How Do I Potty-train a Resistant 4 Year-old?

It's awful isn't it? I had trouble with both of mine but each trouble was different. Even now my 6 yr old wants someone else to wipe his bottom and he knows I won't do it and has a trantrum. I just let him, so he can either do it or sit there. I remember wishing there was a school for potting training kids and I could just drop them off. lol. Good luck!

My DD wouldn't potty learn until 3.5, so a little younger but still much older than everyone else we knew. I think a lot depends on the kid and the dynamic you have going on with it. We don't do rewards and punishments so that wasn't something we tried but I know that does work for many families. Mentioning who was potty-learned didn't motivate DD at all, but that can work for some bc they want to be like their friends or older kids.

I think at this age it is very difficult bc they are so willful and if you are making a big deal about it she may continue to fight you. There is NO WAY I would be cleaning underwear all day for a kid who refused to use the toilet. I'd put her back in diapers (pullups I think are useless) until she will do it. With DD I told her we were not buying more after the current diapers were gone and she freaked out, said No Way! but I replied, Oh and let it go and a week later she told me we were not buying any more diapers and that was it. She put on underwear, had one accident when she was too busy to go potty and that was it.

So I guess at this age I would explain that she is old enough to use the potty and be out of diapers, but if she didn't want to she'd be using diapers and just lay off it. Take her shopping for underwear she likes. That motivated DD. She wanted to wear them, and I explained that she could wear them if she would use the potty all day. And if there were an accident, oh well, no upset on your part, but have her help you clean herself up. Take all the pressure off, don't guilt, shame, get frustrated, etc. Are the kids in day care her age? I'd think peer pressure would come into play eventually if she is the only one in diapers at her age. I would think daycare would rather have 4 yos using the potty than changing diapers, so I am surprised they won't do what you want them to in this regard. Sorry, I cant be more helpful. I know it is very frustrating having a kid that won't potty learn but ultimately it is up to her and the more you try to force the issue the more she will dig in her heels.

You could check out these potty training tips and they will hopefully help you out:

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/potty+training?utm_c...

My son was the hardest child to potty train and I have potty trained at least a dozen. He just didn't want to be potty trained. It takes a lot of patients and you have to be consistent. I can't even imagine how I would have been able to do it had I not been home with him all the time. When I was absolutely confident that he knew what he was suppose to do, I began to take privileges away for each time I found soiled britches. It finally quite when we all sat down for dessert and he didn't get any. I absolutely hated doing it, but my son would have kept right on with poo in his pants had I not. He loved diapers. One of the last times I bought diapers, I couldn't find the kind and size that I normally purchased, so I told him I figured it was time to potty train. He climbed around in the selves until he found the exact brand and size. He looked up at me with is giant blue eyes and declared that he didn't like potty trainen and handed me the diapers. To think back it was too funny. Don't swet it, I promise she will grow up and at here wedding something white will not be the diaper.

i asked this same question a few years ago and my favorite answer was from a grandma: make the child clean her own panties! at age four she knows better. just like everyone else has said it is a power thing. when there is divorce involved, she probably feels like this is the one thing she can control - so she does. it gets her negative attention which is still attention, so it continues. i would take jane m's advice and put it in her hands: clean up and all.

It's a power struggle. The only thing that worked with my daughter was to put it totally in her hands. I said "You're a big girl and you know how to do this, we're not going to talk about it anymore." I then never asked her if she had to go to the bathroom, just wordlessly brought her a new pair of underpants when she had an accident. When she went on the potty I said "Good job" but didn't have a rewards chart, or make a big deal out of it at all. After about 2 months of nothing but accidents, a week passed and she was potty trained. Once she realized that she didn't control me or the situation anymore, it wasn't worth it to be wet. The hardest part, by far, was training _myself_ not to say anything a) when I realized it had been 5 hours since she went to the bathroom or b) when she had an accident.

Good luck.

What have you tried so far? Any kind of reward system (sticker chart, etc.)? There is a program you can find on-line, I think it is 3daypottytraining.com or something like that. You didn't mention exactly what the daycare is doing or not doing to hinder the process but have you tried talking with them about it? Maybe it's time to find a new daycare?

I would take special things away for soiled pants like watching cartoons, deserts, playdates (even going outside to play with a freind), or early bed time. But reward her every time she does go. If you have Halloween candy tell her she can pick one after and each time she goes. Also, tell her if she goes on the potty all week then she can pick a toy at the store (dollar store). After a couple of weeks, only offer the candy for poops only. This worked for my son. For my two year old that is potty trained now I keep a jar of M&Ms on the counter and she gets a hand full (her washed hand) if she goes by herself. Good luck!

Shes old enough to know that if she goes in her pants all day she needs to wear pull-ups or diapers. She may not loke that. There are also many priveledges that go with being a big girl.