I recently posted about bedtime problems with my 3.5 year old. I truly think that locking my son in his bedroom (until he falls asleep) would be very helpful. A number of mommies suggested that I do this. BUT HOW? His door locks from the inside. My husband took a look and said that he can't just turn the knob around. Do we need to go to Home Depot and get a new handle/lock that will lock from the outside? Do you have some other technique that works?
PLEASE don't write that I am a bad Mom and doing the wrong thing by locking my child in his room. He is very strong-willed (if you don't have a strong-willed child, I think you just don't understand what it's like!!), and I think enclosing him in somewhere will work. I've tried everything else that sounds more "humane".
P.S. A baby gate won't work. He is a great climber. That would only be a game to him.
I'm sorry. Locking a child in his room at night is just so wrong on so many levels I cannot imagine doing it.
You can get one of the latches that go outside of his door so only you can reach it. I tried to find an image - you screw it to the door jamb, and it levers up and slides to lock/unlock. However, since he is 3 1/2, I assume he is potty trained - this can delay night time potty training because if he feels the need to go to the bathroom, he will have no choice but to wear pull ups.
Strong willed also means additional/strong parental discipline.
The only kind of locks that cannot be turned around are the ones with those flippy kind of handles. You know they look like swoosh. Otherwise you just unscrew it, leave the mechanism alone, and switch the sides of the knob.
All indoor locks, other than the swooshy ones, are made to go on either a left hand or right hand door therefore they can be reversed.
If you are a bad mom then I am the worst mom ever because I came up with this without the help of a board. :)
Oh and once you figure it out obviously you unlock it when they fall asleep. Never leave a child locked in a room when you cannot tend to them, like when you are asleep. Think about it, fires and the like?
I have a very strong willed child too. She would get up and climb over the gate. I chose not to lock her in, for fear that she could get hurt. I would lay with her and get her to settle down. It took some time and constant bringing her back to bed, but eventually she stayed in bed.
double baby gate works well. One gate on the floor and then one right above it...no matter how strong willed a three year old can not pass that... I have a strong willed son and have not needed to lock him in a room double baby gate worked just fine.
Can you just put the door nob cover over the handle? Maybe you could just do a hook lock on the outside. That is what I had to do.
We just switched the lock to be outside the door when our oldest was around 2 1/2. Our house was extremely dark and I was always afraid of him getting hurt or getting into something. If you can't turn yours around, buy another one that is inexpensive. It only took about a week for him to realize he wasn't getting out at night and eventually quit trying and went to bed with no problem and we quit locking it. Luckily with my 2 1/2 I have now, all we had to do was put the door knob cover on the inside.
My girlfriend got a lock on the outside for her boys. She had to go to Home Depot and get one. The thing I would worry about is bad dreams, bathroom needs or accidents, and the child waking up in the morning and being stuck in the bedroom. So, if you are going to lock your kid in then I would probably make sure that you have a monitor in there!
L.
We just reversed the handle on his door so that it locks from the outside.
If you can't do that, just go buy a new handle/lock that can. Or put a hook/latch system at the top.
And if yours is anything like mine, you'll hear him when it's a bad dream or something you need to address, vs. just being mad that he's stuck in there.
And personally, if there's a fire, I feel better kowing where he is, than having to search 4 floors of our house for him if he's hiding and scared.
You're not a bad mom!
be careful with this. My sons door locked from the inside (not the outside but still...) and before he was born I was in there and shut the door and the door locked jammed itself. I had to climb out the window! our sons room currently has no door knob and he cant seem to open it on his own without one...works for us.
Why can't you switch the knob? We have done it to both our son's and daughter's bedrooms. With plain old door knobs and we upgraded to the wavy lever knobs and they could be switched around too. When they are asleep I unlock the door, so they can come out if they wake in the middle of the night. They sell fairly inexpensive knob sets at Wal-Mart, I wouldn't run to Home Depot, they are expensive.
A baby gate doubled or not would not work with my 3.5 year old either, he would kick it down if he couldn't climb it. I understand your frustration with that.
OK - you're are so NOT a bad mom for doing this.....think about it people, babies are "locked" in cribs. For the safety of the child they should be kept in their room and a lock on the door is no different than a baby gate. For my son, we put up a half door (hubby and BIL are in the door and hardware business so they made it) with a lock on it.
You might need to get a new knob if you can't just turn that one around.
You can buy door knobs that will lock from the other side for as little as $10 at most hardware stores. But remember, when you go in to make the bed or put away laundry, a child can shut and lock the door from the outside and you wont be able to get out. It might be worth it and easier to suffer thru a few nights of being stern and fighting with him to stay in bed. Wouldnt you hate to be locked in his room and not be able to get to MamaPedia? (o;
If your husband is handy -- you can take a piece of plywood and put a hinge and a couple of sliding door locks on it and make it as tall as you would like (and then you could still check on him). You could stain it or paint it so it doesn't look bad...just a thought. I did try and do the switching of the doorknobs for our son when he was about 3 and I felt awful and paranoid! I ended up just staying at his door until he wore himself out...not fun, but it eventually worked.
This is the exact one we used on different doors. It is inexpensive and easy to install.
http://www.amazon.com/Child-Proof-Deluxe-Door-Lock/dp/B00...
You can indeed flip the doorknob around. I've done it twice.
Break out the screwdriver and unscrew the screws holding both the knobs in place and the bolt. Everything goes back in the same places, just with each knob switched. It's really every easy. I'll bet YOU can do it right now with just a Phillips (cross) head screwdriver. Then, you can lock the door from the outside.
BUT, be sure you have the teeny little screwdriver needed to unlock that door from the inside stashed away on the top shelf of your son's closet. Trust me, you'll appreciate it when you accidentally lock yourself in.
;o)
EDIT: For those mothers who think this is "so wrong," she is just wanting to lock the door until he's asleep. I can completely understand this. However, consider that lock to also be protection for her child...I was a single mother when my boys were little (still am). If I wanted to take a SHOWER and not worry about them getting into the kitchen (knife drawer? stove knobs? more dangers than I can count?) or getting on the deck and falling off or falling down the stairs, I HAD to lock them in. For THEIR safety, not for my convenience.
My first suggestion was going to be to just turn the knob around. That's what we did. You might need to get a new doorknob for that, though.
Other than that, I suppose you could buy a hook-and-eye lock, and put that up high on the outside of the door, but that is unsightly and won't remove easily later.
I've read the suggestion that if your baby gates are tension-type gates, you can just stack them one on top of the other. Bit tedious to have to rebuild it every time, though. Particularly since you need to unlock it/unstack the gates after he's fallen asleep. Especially if he's potty training. Sleep training is one thing, but don't sabotage potty training at the same time!
We locked DD's bedroom door for naptime, until she was right about your son's age, when we were sure she was ready to completely give up naps. She liked to sleep at night with her door open, though - so our deal became that she could have the door open, as long as she didn't leave her room (except to go to the potty). Three and a half isn't too young to understand consequences - she caught on real quick. Do you have anything you can use as leverage?
get a hook and eye and put it on the outside of the door. we had to do that with my son (also known as houdini lol)
You're not a bad mom. My aunt had to do this with my twin cousins. They were so strong-willed and there were two of them! The only thing that worked for them was a "slide lock" that you can install on the outside of the door. Go to the hardware store and ask. BTW- both successful and well-adjusted adults now.
Just remember that you want something that you can open very quickly and easily if needed!
You may also want to get a video monitor (if you don't already have one) so that you can see what is going on in there while the door is shut.
Just buy one of those hook type locks for the outside of the door. Cheap and simple enough.
*seriously tho, you should be able to turn the knob around. Look up a youtube vid for directions.
we did this, we put the child proof cover on the inside so she couldn't get out but we could get in/out. BUT she was 2. now at 3.5 she can open all the child proof stuff. it might take your son a little while to figure it out, but not long. theiy are too smart at this age. i also have a strong willed daughter and my blessings are with you. thank god for wine. :)
My husband has done this several times for various reasons...to keep little brother out of big brother's playroom, to keep a toddler from locking himself in his own room, etc. The whole door lock/knob unit in the door needs to be taken out (as if you're replacing it) and turned around. That worked for us. Good luck!
I used a baby lock on the door knob. It covers the knob and it continues to work for my 3.5 year old. The latch on the outside is also a reasonable option. If you can't switch around your door knob and your son locks himself in his room, you might consider removing the door knob all together and just putting a latch on the outside of the room. Once my son is asleep, I always unlock his door before I go to bed. That way, if there is an emergency/fire or something, he won't be stuck inside. Good luck! I found with my son that once I started closing him in his room, the bedtime battles stopped.
