My son is 6 and has always been afraid of loud noises, even as a baby. Although that seems to have past, thunder (no matter how loud or soft) scares him to pieces. We've never been in any weather related accidents. But if he even sees dark clouds in the sky, he begins to worry that it's gonna rain, then storm with thunder and lightning and then there will be a tornado. I've explained to him numerous times that just because it rains, doesn't mean there will be a tornado. At the first sound of thunder, no matter if he's at daycare surrounded by other kids or if we're at home, he's crying and shaking and unconsolable and constantly watching the sky. We've read books about weather, we've made him sit outside under un umbrella eating supper in the rain, just to show him that rain won't hurt us. We even got stuck floating the river in the rain. That just made it worse. We've tried to convince him that other people around us wouldn't be out in the rain if it was going to hurt any of us. We've told him that we would never put him in a dangerous situation and he says he believes that we wouldn't do that to him. Even in the middle of the night, if a storm rolls in, at the first sound of thunder, he is awake and running across the house to get into bed with us and shaking uncontrollably. How do I stop the panic that sets in? We've talked to him about it every which way we can think of and have even had to yell at him (necessary sometimes to break through his panicky sobbing). We've read a couple of books too but I think the pictures just worry him more. I've told him that after 33 years, I have never seen a tornado or been near one so he may never either. He says that he is afraid of the thunder and lightning because he thinks it's going to get him - even inside the house or school. He is afraid that every storm is going to produce a tornado. We've tried the "angels bowling" trick with the thunder and lightning - didn't work. I just don't know what else to do. Any suggestions of something we haven't tried yet?
Side note: his twin sister is the total opposite when it comes to storms. LOL - She sleeps right through them, never knowing they even happened and has no worries about them when they happen during the day.
hi J.,
have you ever thought about taking him to a childrenss counsler ,,thats all that comes to mind its a phoby of some kind and see if they can help you and him thought this
good luck L.
Maybe someone that works at the Weather Center could help him. The U S Weather Office is on FM646 just a short distance off I-45, there is a sign. Give them a call and ask if you could bring him by there for a tour and to get acquanted with all the different types of cloud and what to expect and what not to expect. I was active in Emergency Management for a long time and as an adult enjoyed our outings to the Weather office. This might also be something that you could suggest to his daycare/school as an outing for his class.
Hope this helps.
Bless you, J....I have the same situation with my son, who is now 12. When he was in kindergarten they showed an Eyewitness weather video about all sorts of weather catastrophes...floods, people on their roofs, etc. He got so panicky his teacher had to take him out into the hall. Ever since then he gets anxious when the clouds get dark. I tell him that as he gets older he will get over this. It seems to be true. I tried EVERYTHING-books, counseling, etc. Deep breathing and allowing him to move..he even used to pace up and down the hall when a storm was approaching :-( One very helpful psychiatrist even recommended daily fish oil which has been researched and shown to reduce anxiety. I think that some people are wired differently. They are more auditorially sensitive. Continue to reassure him and remind him of past storms you've all been through and how everything turned out okay.
Also, in regard to your daughter...my daughter also is relatively fearless, used to play in the rain, doesn't mind thunder or lightning.
We're all individuals...your son is just more sensitive...bless his heart!
Good Luck! D.
Good MOrning J.. I sure am sorry thatyour 6mos. baby boy is having such a hard time. Therefore; making ishard on Mommy. You know sweetheart at 6 mos. your son only has so much to be fearful of. Reasoning with a 6 mos. baby really only helps you. Knowledge is power J. and now that you know for a fact a negative trigger for you son you can be proactive. By being proactive you can start with notifying his day teachers of what your need to occur when a storm is apparent int our skies. Does you sone enjoy story time, short moveis, games? These are all justa few tings you can immediately take action with as you see or hear a storm coming. If your son is preoccupied with fun that is just as loud of louder then the storm he may be able to just miss it. In a aperfect world all woudl happen just so right? Well, in reality if all details don't work out, hold him and move away from any windows, dorrs and try to get youyrself to an inside room with in your home and recommend this to the day care. This will certainily muffle the scary soudn and scry light. Your son is very smart J.. He already knows that loud sounds that appear all of the sudden are not among his favorites. Fear is a good thing really J.. To this day withmy children being 9, 7 and 4 they all run to my room when a sorm hits. Storms are kidn of freaky and you and I know that we are safe. Your sweet baby son only knows safetly guarantees from you and he is still learning. The storm sounds cause him insecurity of the unknown. Hold him, appreciate his fear and be compassionate of eactly where he is. He may cry for a while and this too shall pass. I pray with my kiddos and I started before they even knew what I was saying to God. So even when your baby boy is not too young to begin the process of knowing that God will always help his comfort. I hope this Helps J.. J. Angell McKee www.Best-Self-Today.com
I can't help your son get over his fear...BUT just so you know, I am 35 years old and I tremble in fear at the first hint of a storm. My husband used to have to get out of work and come home to take care of the kids because I would crawl in the closet..I laugh about it now, but I can now barely keep it together (I don't want the kids to be afraid like I am).
I would say just love him for who he is, and accept his fear, and don't make him feel "different" because he has this fear.
Good Luck and God Bless.
Hi J.
I am so sorry for your sons troubles.It may be time to give counseling a try?
Best of luck to you and your family
I, too, have a son that has been scared of loud noises for a long time. He wasn't scared like that as a baby. It became prominent, if I remember correctly, at the age of 6. When he learned to read, he was picking (and still does pick) library books about weather / climate / natural disasters. He was afraid to sleep away from me or Dad. He would covering his ears and cower under a blanket on the couch just at the sight of dark clouds in the sky. I tried reminding my son that rain is a gift for the plants and all the animals. I wasn't able to do anything.
Then, one day at school, his teacher (a wonderful lady with the same religious backgound) gave him a description of "God bowling up in the heavens" as why we hear thunder. When he came home from school, he excitedly told me the story. He's still a little scared but his reactions are much improved. No more hiding under the covers!
I wonder if kids want to believe their parents but get really on the wagon when an "expert" (in their eyes) confirms that belief. I have had a dental hygienist complain that her kid would listen to her about brushing properly until a visit by himself/herself to a dental hygienist told the story again but the information was received enthusiastically! What a story!
Good luck!
My sister had this same problem. She out grew it after 13 yrs old. She would get so sick and throw up. It was horrible. She would sweat and cry.
Until around my senior year of high school, I was always afraid of having water in my face. I would have to focus really hard just to submerge my head in a swimming pool. In the shower, I'd tremble uncontrollably while rinsing my hair. Then, one day my mother was telling my boyfriend about how they had found my aunt submerging my head in dishwater when I was about 3 or 4 years old. (She is a few years older than I and was always jealous of the new baby.) In that moment, I intuitively knew that that was the reason that I would just panic to have water in my face. It hasn't bothered me since.
I say this because there could be something in your baby's past that he can't recall that makes him fear these weather changes. It could be as simple as he cried out for you one night during a storm and you didn't rush to him because you were trying to teach him to stay in his own bed. Maybe a child therapist could help get to the bottom of it.
Hi J.-
I don't know that I have any good advice for you, but I was wondering where his fear of tornados comes from? Did he see the movie Twister or The Wizard of Oz or something? Or was he watching the news over the last few months with all of the storms in the midwest? If that's what started this you'll need to monitor his TV more closely since he obviously absorbs a lot of what he's seeing. My daughter is that way, she'll see a brief clip of something on TV and a week later she'll refer back to it and say she had a nightmare about it.
I don't remember ever being quite as scared as you describe but when I was a child I would sleep on the floor of my closet whenever I was scared of anything. I had a pillow, a blanket and a flashlight in there all the time and would sleep in there whenever I wanted to. It's something I did for a while and then just outgrew on my own. Maybe you can help him set up a "safe place" for him to go when he's scared.
Good Luck!
K.
How about if the next time it rains, you ask him to go outside and play with you, splash in the puddles etc, he will probably say no, that's when you get his twin sister and as many family and friends or neighbors to go out there with you, and play like you are having the best time of your life, lots of laughing etc! after a few minutes ask him again if he will just stand on the porch and eventually you may get him to play with you all out there! Let him know that rain is the way that God replenishes the earth and feeds all of the plants and flowers, show him a picture of a barren desert and tell him that is what our citys would look like if we had no rain, and the grocery stores would have no food on the shelves etc. perhaps after playing in a few small showers he can over come his enormous fear of big storms. He may always be uneasy of big storms, but it should get a lot better, and if it doesn't work you may need to take him to see some one proffessionally. Best of luck!
Hi J.,
The key thing in your email is that since your son was a baby, he has been afraid of loud noises. It appears that his twin sister is able to process sounds in a normal fashion. Perhaps the underlying issue for your son is that he cannot. As he's gotten older, this inability may have led to panic/phobia since the underlying auditory/neurological issues have not been addressed.
Try to put yourself in his shoes--it's possible that he hears all noises at much greater amplification than you do, which may trigger a "fight or flight" reaction in his nervous system, which goes into panic. I know this term is over-used, but for him, it could be akin to having post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and thunder is his "trigger." I feel it's important to him get professional help ASAP--while he is young and his neuropathways are still adaptable--perhaps they could be "re-trained" and normalized, at least somewhat.
It sounds like you have done every possible thing to help him from a non-medical standpoint for 6 years. If I were you, I would get proactive medically/therapeutically. Talk to your pediatrician. Ask for a referral to a pediatric ENT (Ear-Nose-Throat) doctor. Ask the ENT for a referral to a pediatric audiologist or an SLP (speech & language pathologist) who is trained/certified in AIT (Auditory Integration Training). See http://www.aithelps.com/
I knew of a pediatric OT (occupational therapist) who took her AIT machine to the homes to work with the children. This is non-invasive--head phones with music calibrated to whatever decibel your child needs to normalize the auditory neuro-pathways.
Try to get your health insurance to pay for whatever professional services you utilize to help your son. Ask the professionals for guidance. Talk to other parents whose children have had similar problems with loud noises as your son--they may be your greatest resource for reputable professional networking.
If I were you, in conjunction with the above, I would also consider Biofeedback Training from a certified Biofeedback therapist AND evaluation/treatment by a pediatric neuropsychologist or psychologist with years of clinical experience with children with auditory and panic issues. If there is a good counselor at your son's school, he/she should follow-up with the recommendations (that you agree with) from the professionals.
If this loud noise/panic issue is interfering with your son's learning at school, you can request an evaluation from his school's SLP (Speech & Language Pathologist). This therapist can also evaluate him and, if your son qualifies to receive school therapy, can work with the other professionals and provide therapy at school. If he doesn't qualify for school therapy, ask the SLP if you think he would benefit from private therapy. If so, try to get your health insurance to pay.
This would be a great start. Bless you and your son, Best of luck, and please let us know what happens. jenifer
There are all kinds of reasons that he could have this fear. It is pretty common and I'm sure that he will outgrow it to some extent. I used to be afraid of storns and now I love storms.
Maybe give him a "safe blanket",a book, or stuffed animal that can comfort him.
Have him help you prepare a storm kit. You will probebly never use it, but many children feel better knowing it is there. You could make a small one and put it in a backpack so it can go to daycare with him on stormy days. Give him power over the storm instead of tring to get him to just exept it's safety.
I am 28 and also scared of storms. If there is a chance of storms I will stay at home and monitor the weather constantly. I have know idea why, because I wasn't like this as a child. I have tried to hide my fear from my children, but it is hard when I am shaking. Try finding him a place where he feels safe and talk to him about what to do if a tornado does happen. My oldest son is 8 and has the same phobia, so when a bad storm is coming we set up our safe place (closet) and he goes in there, which makes him feel safe.
Hi J.- I don't know really know how long I have had this same phobia but it has been going on for years. Really! I am 44 yo, a mother myself, and I exhibit the same behaviors as your son. Threats of bad weather can affect my work if it happens during the work day. Its terrible. I go to the window constantly and watch the sky. I don't want to go anywhere if it remotely looks like rain. I have had to go see a therapist to hep me and it has helped quite a bit. Check in with your pediatrician and see what they recommend. This weather-phobia is not that uncommon but it can really interfere with life. My heart goes out to you and your kid. Good luck.
Good morning J.,
My name is N. Stoneham and I live in here in Silverlake. I read your story regarding your son's fear of bad weather. Have you asked him to try to explain to you what makes him afraid? Ask him to describe it as if it were a person...ask him to tell you what it is that he thinks about when bad weather comes that makes him afraid. The mistake that most parents make (and I'm not saying that you're one of them) is thinking that our kids can't communicate to us at that age. At 6, your son has developed the ability to "picture communicate" with you. My son had a similar fear...he would have bad dreams. We had a discussion and I did role playing with him where I acted out the things/person that he saw in his dreams and I found out what his was afraid of or at least what he was equating those things to...and 'that' is what I focused on. It may be something that he will outgrow. Part of the maturation process is experiencing and confronting fears. You're already doing the best that you can do...and that is to comfort him when he's afraid. That's great! Remember, even though noone else in your home has this fear, it's important to acknowledge that you understand that this is a 'valid' fear to 'him', them just deal with it from there. Take care and let me know if I can be of any further assistance or if you'd like to discuss further. I won't say good luck, because I don't believe in luck...but I will say continue to do what comes naturally to you as a mother...comfort and love him. Have a wonderful day!
