How Do I Get My Son to Do Other Things Other than Tv and Video Games?

I guess I am more middle of the road here... I would have him get a part time job, so that he is out, active, and learning to be responsible... but I would make it part time so that he does have time to do the things he enjoys and the relax him. It is summer after all, and ya know sometimes it is ok to just enjoy summertime! I worked full time every summer from the age of 15, not because I had to but because I wanted to. I loved it, but I remember days where I just wished I could lay around and just be a kid with my friends. So maybe shoot for him getting a part time job and I would also put him in charge of some household duties like mowing, or watering, etc...

K.
Helping MOMS work from home!
http://www.stayinghomeandhavingfun.com

I agree with the poster who said at least you know where he is and what he's doing. If you take those things away, he might get himself into trouble outside of the house. As long as he's not playing constantly or displaying behavior of an addict, then I see nothing wrong with it. If he can & wants to get a part-time job, great! If not, make him help around the house some. Otherwise, let him play. It won't be too much longer before he's an adult and will be forced to grow up. Let him be a kid a little longer.

Tough one b/c of age; I am not sure if you can change behavior at this point. However, my parents had me pretty busy with school activities after school. Since it is summer - are there any activites that he would like to do? Maybe baseball, soccer, etc. That would keep him a little busy and give him another hobby.

Also, my mom was pretty strict with the t.v and would limit the amount of t.v that we watch; however, this was when we were younger. At 16, I think we just felt weird sitting around the house all day. Also, my mom set a good example of not watching t.v. or laying around. And my mom always had us really busy during non school times with piano and sports. I think that I actually worked during the summer at 16; plus she had me do chores to earn money. There were times that I remember sitting in front of the t.v. when my mom wasn't around; however, I think encouragement and keeping them busy is always a good thing! Good luck!

Where is Dad? Get together with him 1st and come up with a plan. When you implement it, be lovingly firm. If Dad is not around, pack up computer, t.v. and games and get them out of the house. NOW Make him earn them back or get rid of them permanently and have a rule he can't bring them back in unless he is working. PS, make sure you know his friends or he will go to friends house to play and you need to contact parents to let them know what is going on and get their support/help.

16? Is he driving yet? Desire to drive?

Get a job so he can be responsible for at least a portion of his expenses.

My 14 yr old daughter can't wait to be old enough to start working. Try grocery stores, movie theatres, retail.

He needs to be focused and in a routine now so that he will be prepared when time for school comes around again and you start homeschooling or he won't get anything accomplished.

TF

Make him get a full time job for the summer. He will make new friends and be to busy to do those things all the time.

My boys are required to get a summer job and contribute to car expenses and college fund.
If they had no supervision, they would be tempted to get into all kinds of trouble.
Victoria

remove them from his room and place a lock on the other household televisions/gaming stuff. you can purchase small locks that insert into the male portion of the plug. good luck. and when he rants/raves about how stupid you are, blah, blah, blah... tell him he needs to look at the successful people in the world and did they sit around inside glued to stuff? no... they got out and got a JOB! not difficult. do not give into him. once you have said no, removed, locked stuff up... stick to your words! he'll respect you in the long run. not now because he cannot think clearly other than the present. good luck.

You know - my son is 15 and he is the same way. My thought on this is that when he's doing those things, I don't have to worry about where he is, what he is doing, whether he is getting in trouble or if some trouble has found him, so I let him just stay in his "man cave" and I know he's safe.

This is a toughy, but here are my suggestions:

Tell him to get a job or go to camp. If camp is something you do not want to spend money on you can tell him to get a job or you will find him one. Tell him you heard the vet needs someone to clean the cages or something.... Then if he doesn't start looking immediately, try and find him a job.

Is there a youth group at your church? Find him a friend there so he will want to go, etc... Get him guitar lessons, sign him up for something at your local rec center. Use whatever you've got!

Good Luck!

just turn off everything and he will find something else to do,put password in the computer,take away videogames or controlls

I am with the posters on him getting a summer job. I know it's really difficult with the economy the way it is, but who the heck is paying the cable/internet bills and buying the video games? There are a lot of things he can do to contribute, and I'm SURE he will have 1,000 excuses why he can't do anything available...but, if he isn't contributing, the free ride needs to come to a screeching halt! You may even consider making him responsible for some of the housework you have to do when you come home from work...if he has a driver's license then SURELY he can drive to the grocery store and buy groceries from a list. Laundry too, my 14 yr old dgtr helps with laundry during the summer (remember to remove drycleaning and handwashables!!) If he has time for video games and the conmputer, you should come home to a cleaner house every day. I know summer is just getting started, and the kids are exhausted from all the end of the year finals and work, but he can contribute.

Working full time doesn't mean working 24/7.

it takes ALLOT of effort to be on top of what your kids are doing...and well...all the kids are on the computer and video games.

I had a one hour time limit on computer access with a parental control when I was at work and they were home for the summer.

For one hour during the day, they could be on the computer. The video games can't be played without controlers no matter how much you like them...and a list of chores was given every day for each of them.

And if you have cable...you can block everything but news channels if you feel inclined.

lets face it...we were kids once too...and 16...and we didn't much like doing anything that our parents told us to do...

If chores are done when you get home, let there be a reward...2 hours the next day on the computer...or I dunno...it's been a couple of years since I've had a 16 year old boy in the house...

I think it all comes from what YOU as his parent are willing to do or try in order to make sure he follows the rules...and expands his horizons.

Summer jobs are good...and teach responsibility and will ease your pocketbook.

Summers can be boring for kids left at home...I would not expect that every day, all day, he do something other than lounge around and watch TV...if you have no other place to go...

Good luck to you...16 IS a fun age isn't it??

I am not sure at 16 he can be saved from living a life of passivity, if that's been the pattern up to now. The most drastic step is to remove the cable service and the video games completely. When these weren't around, kids read books! Ask the youth minister at your church for help in getting your son involved in some worthwhile activities. If you don't have a church, call a nearby United Methodist Church and see if you can get him into theirs. They have several. One is UM Army, a week-long trip to another town, and the kids do humanitarian work, repairing houses for people who don't have money enough to do it. But it's not all work. They have fun, too. You may have to push him at first, but once he meets other kids and starts getting into some of the fun, he'll want to go. They also have camps, and regular planned activities each week. Good luck!

Your son is normal . If you want him to do something with the family, then you will have to take the time to talk to your son and find out what else he likes to do. At 16, he should be working part time. The video games he's playing cost money and he should be contributing to that.

Some duties at home should be in order as well. Our children earned money to buy the games they wanted or the monvie they wanted to see. When they were to young to go to work, there were things at home that they could do to earn the money they needed. It's up to them. NO work then No money, games or movies PERIOD.

Love and Light,
Rev. G. Hudson, Reiki Master.
www.reikigailhudson.com

He really should be doing something productive with his summer. I was never allowed to lie around and do nothing all summmer. Once I was too old for camp (12 or so) I started volunteering a few days a week until I was old enough to get a job. He is old enough to get a job, but if there isn't one to be had, there are plenty of places he can volunteer. Call or go to the website for your local United Way and ask for volunteer opportunities. Volunteering also looks good on a college application. Good luck.

Get him up, out of the house and active. If you have to temporarily disconnect the cable/satellite, password protect the computer, and take away the controllers for the video games then do it. He will live without those things, I promise, my kids would do the same thing given the opportunity. And you can turn things off, sort of, just make it so he can't use them unless he earns the time to do so. No cable-he cant' watch tv, no password-no computer and no controllers, no video games.

Lead by example, make a game out of going to the library, read together.