How Do I Get My 23 Month Old to Sleep in Her Bed

Updated on January 13, 2007
C.R. asks from Allentown, PA
12 answers

Okay I used to have an appartment and now I have a house so the baby and I shared a room her in her crib me in my bed but now with the house she has her own room. In which she won't sleep in her crib. The only way I have gotten her to sleep in her room was for the summer when I had my niece.I also tried changeing her crib into a day bed but it did not work half way into the night she was back in my bed. So my question is how do I get her to sleep in her room ? (or rather her own bed )

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So What Happened?

Well I just want to say Thank you to all of the advice It worked out great.Well the fist night I put her in her bed and sat with her till she fell asleep. She woke up that night and I did not put her on my bed I put a blanket and pillow on the floor. And told her if she don't want to sleep in her bed she had to sleep there. So the next night I put her in her bed told her to stay with her baby that if the would cry she would be there for her to give her a bottle,said good noght and left the room. 10 min later she was fast asleep.Every night I would put her in bed with her baby.Thanks everyone I would have never did this with out your help........

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A.B.

answers from Honolulu on

Hi catherine, my name is A.. I never really had that problem but my sister inlaw did and what she did was put one of her shirts that she had already had on, and put it in the bed w/ her baby. My niece wouldn't fall asleep w/o the smell of her mom and after that she got some good sleep. I hope this helps.

ash

1 mom found this helpful

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V.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I had the same problem. My son is 35 months old and when we moved into our new house, I laid the law down that he had to sleep in his own bed, he did not like it. But, I kept to my rules. Although, I gave a little at the beginning and let him sleep on a little bed I made for him on the floor in our room. He has had a problem since when he goes to his dad's house, he does not sleep by himself over there. I figured eventually he will get tired of sleeping on the floor bu that did not happen. So, I would put him to bed and sit next to his bed and just be silent(that is very important), no eye contact or anything. I would say it is time to go to bed and give him a kiss and say good night then I would sit there and not say a thing or even look at him. He would just roll over and go to sleep once he realized that I was not giong to talk to him. So, I hope this works. It has worked wonders for me because it has been a month since I started that and I usually do not even have to sit with him now. But, I do have to tell him I will be right back and that I have to go potty or something but usually by the time I come back to check on him, he is sound asleep. I feel bad that I have to lie to him but if it works then who cares.

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M.J.

answers from Pittsburgh on

best offer is that she has the routine..good luck with that.. but no matter what, have her fall asleep in her room. my oldest daughter was tough and we had the routine that included 3 books and about 8 trips back to her room. no talking no nothing, just put her back in. if she knows that you wont react to her, she may come out less and less. she somehow ended up in my room almost every morning (sometimes to my surprise by rolling over and pushing her out!) the dr said that as long as she goes to bed in her own room, once she sleeps though the night, she will stay there. she was about 5 when she finally stayed in her room. if she is used to you being there while she falls asleep, try progressive transitions. sit on, then by, then further away from her bed until you are at the door till she falls asleep... sit with her, leave for 1 min then 2 min , etc until you can leave her and check on her once she is sleeping... gradual change and transition.

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M.C.

answers from Dover on

just keep putting her back into her bed is really the only advice i could give you. Friends of mine had the same problem where there daughter did the same thing all the way up till she was 10 so take heart. It will stop eventually.
Put a night light in tuck her in but while you put her back to bed, dont speak only tuck her in and leave....
when u speak that makes them think you want to play, and you have to make her understand that this isnt play time.

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B.M.

answers from Scranton on

I agree with Celest. You have to have a nightly routine. Once you start something, stay with it no matter what!!! My kids are 4 and 5 and they both sleep 12 hours every night. But it took alot of back bone to get there. I feed them supper between 5 and 5:30, they get a bath, brush their teeth, get a sip of water, play until 6:45, we read a story (or two if they are short)and they are in bed at 7:00. They are only allowed to get up to go potty. I started this when they moved to a big bed and haven't let up. Now bed time is what it is. There is no crying, and honestly they are tired! that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions to bed time or the routine, you can't live by the clock. But when that does happen you jump in where you left off and the next night get right back on track. I know it's alot of work but it totally pays off. My husband and I can watch television together, I can get the house fresh for the next day and I get to bed at a descent time too. come up with something that works with your schedule and stick to it, you will be so happy you did. P.S. at this age your child should be getting 14 to 16 hours of sleep a day, 12 at night and at least a 2 hour nap during the day. When your child gets that he or she will be pleasant during his waking hours. Also my pediatrician told me it doesn't matter what it takes as long as they get sleep. a nightlight or radio or fan or whatever they need. You can do it!

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L.N.

answers from Washington DC on

catherine
it will be tough at first. when you're ready you need to stick to it. my girls are 30 months old and even now i don't think they're ready for a daybed. they're just sooo big transitioning them from cribs to daybeds. i had those covertible cribs that go from crib to full size beds. i tried it and i wasn't sure it was going to work. so i decided to get toddlers beds. much better. the first night, i made a big deal out of those beds. they're pink, and i got stuffed animals for them and asked them to take care of tigger (each had one) and that tigger needs them and tigger needs to go to bed etc. they took it so seriously that they have never gotten out of their room. but to be on the safe side since the stairs are right outside their doors i put a gate immediately outside their door so in case they get up in the middle of the night they don't fall on stairs etc. but they have never tried or cried to get out of the room.
so basically, set a routine you're comfortable with but do not let her come in and sleep with you. even for a night, because that will confuse her why sometimes she is allowed and sometimes she isn't. if she gets sick, of course you may put an airmatress and sleep in her room. that is what i do. so my girls do not have the concept in their head to come sleep in mommy's bed.
good luck
vlora

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S.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

I don't know how much she can understand, but when I moved my daughter who is just about 5 went through the same thing. She'll still come in my bed some nights but not nearly as often. I think there was an adjusting period for her. What also worked was I told her that if she stayed in her bed the whole week I would buy her a coloring book at the end of the week. I also just talked to her and explained that we all have our own beds and we need to sleep in them, etc, but once again, I can't really remember how much a 23 month old can really grasp. I would also try and walk her back to her bed every time that she comes to yours. It's a pain, but she'll finally get the clue that she needs to stay there because coming to your bed isn't getting her anywhere. Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Catherine,

We had a real problem with this when my son was around that age. He ended up having a fear of the dark. What we did was lay a pillow and a blanket on the floor next to the bed. We explained to him that he could lay on the floor on the pillow if he got scared and needed to come in, but he wasn't allowed in the bed. If he did get in the bed (he liked to sneak in at the foot so he didn't wake us up) then he would get returned to his room. It took a little while, but eventually he got the idea that he had to sleep on the floor if he wanted to stay. Now he doesn't come in at all (he's 2 1/2), but the pillow is always there if he needs it.

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S.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

It can be tricky getting her to stay in her own bed. She is so use to having you in the room with her she feels lonley. Does she have a favorite toy (stuffed animals or baby dolls)? You might try having her put her baby (or toy) to bed in their own bed in her room to show her that she in not alone and let her know that you are just right down the hall or across the hall from her. When she does come and get into bed with you make sure you reasurre her that you are not going anywhere and that she really needs to stay in her own bed and take care of her baby. It will take time for to stay in her room, but she will if you are consitant with putting her back in to bed after her little visit in the middle of the night.
I use to have this problem with my oldest. I would have to lay in bed with her until she fell asleep. She got use to having her baby in bed with her and she did not feel so alone anymore and would go to sleep much easier. But it does take time and patients. Good luck and I hope I was some kind of help to you.

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L.R.

answers from Reading on

I am going through the simialr situation with my 3 year old. She just wont sleep in her own bed. We have tried everything.Her and her baby brother share a room and we thought for sure that she would want to be in there with him but nope she still wakes up and comes over. It is a tough situation to deal with. We even tired bribing her. LOL.. my husband said if she slept in her bed the entire night he would hide a dollar for her before he went to work in the morning. AS much as she loves money that didnt even work. We really cant let her in there and scream because then she gets her brother upset. Sorry I am not much help~ just wanted to let you know you are not alone on this one.

L.

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C.K.

answers from Washington DC on

There are rewards for her when she does sleep in her bed all night. Also comforting objects stuff toys or other toys to help comfort her.Maybe even a picture of you for when she does wake up in the night.

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C.J.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hi Catherine. I am hopeing I can help you. Did you change it back to a crib or is still a day bed? I prob still keep the day bed up.Do you close her door at bed time? I would invest in a nice gate and keep her door open until she falls asleep, then close it half way or almost all the way. Is she a bed time battler? Does she have a melt down before bed? If so, here is a winning strategy.....Establish a strict bedtime and nighty night routine. Give her a heads up.Say,"After bath and brushing your teeth we will read a book, and then you will go nighty night." Do not let her push you for extra time. You may even have to make bed time a tad earlier. Some parents think,"She cant be tired, she is running around like a banshee." Kids can become more active the more tired they are. Stick to the schedule. The transtion will be hard at first for both of you, but sticking to it will ease your daughter mind.She will know in time that when you place her in bed, and after you read a story it is bed time. If she cries, just walk to the room at stand at the door and say,"It is nighty night time, and mommy is going nighty night in a few min too." She will never know that you watching TV. While she is waiting for you to go to bed, she will fal asleep.Well, lets hope she does.Let us know.

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