I have a 16 month old son who has been co-sleeping with my husband and I since he was around five months. He began sleeping with us when contracted RSV a lung virus much like pneumonia. He wakes up multiple times a night wanting his sippy cup or pacifier. I can't get any sleep and my husband has to be up at 5 a.m. every morning. I'm a stay at home mom so I spend all my time with my son but cant seem to kick this habit. WE have tried the "cry it out" method but he has screamed for two hours and did not go to sleep. It was horrible to listen to him crying, i kept going in to check on him because i was afraid he was trying to climb out of his crib. If I even put him in his during the day or at night he begins screaming like something his hurting him. I know that co-sleeping can be dangerous and when my son isnt waking up i'm waking up to make sure my husband or i haven't rolled over onto him! I need help! If i put him in his playpen next to the bed he wakes up constantly through the night screaming (not crying just whaling). Does anyone have any advice? I'm thinking of getting him a toddler bed if that would help him transition better? Any advice would be very helpful! Thank You!
(Neither my husband or I drink or take any medications. I'm not worried about me rolling over onto my son but more my husband who is a VERY heavy sleeper.)
Well after writing this question last night I let my son fall asleep in my arms and then placed him into his crib. He slept maybe two hours and woke up screaming, i put him right into ed with me. I'm planning on getting him a toddler bed. Sara S. From Dayton had some helpful advice, with the glow e, my son has a glow worm that plays bedtime songs and lights up. So I will try this technique. I will get back to you ladies after a few restless night of trying your advice! Thanks and tak to you soon!
I can't believe I'm actually saying this... Maybe try laying him down in his crib & sitting with him until he falls asleep. I think that would be where I'd go next. We had a hard time breaking my daughter of this (us being with her when she falls asleep). That's why I'm reserved in saying it. But it seems like that would be the next stepping stone & then later you can work on breaking that habbit for him. Good luck!
Our daughter also slept w/ us since birth. At age 2 we moved her to her crib mattress on the floor next to our bed. It took a while but eventually she stayed there. (She woke around 5 every morning and climbed in bed w/ us.)
A couple things that helped us: I gave her "my special blankie" for her to hold onto, I call it Mommy's love. Silly, but it helped.
A "glow bear". I am not sure if "Glo-E" is still on the market, but he has been a Godsend. He is a glowing bear that has a 10-15 minute light show cycle. Our daughter turns it on whenever she is a little scared.
Over time she has learned to fall asleep in the room by herself.
We did transition her to her own bed in her own room. There we let her sleep w/ a dim light on and bedtime music.
It can be done. It just takes time. Do what works for you and don't allow people to bully you and say your child will be in your bed forever. That would only happen if you allowed him to. :)
We are expecting our own little boy in a few months and he will be co-sleeping w/ us. So for all the hard work involved, we are going to start the process all over again. :)
P.S. (Sorry-this is getting long.) Does your son wake up screaming cause his pacifier has fallen out of his mouth? To me, fixing this problem would be my first priority. Our daughter always used to wake up screaming. She'd also wake up in the middle of the night if her pacifier went m.i.a. but usually settled back down immeadiately.
Maybe he is in pain? Have you talked to your ped. about it?
PM me if you want to talk some more about transitioning. :)
The crying it out didn't work because you kept going in and checking on him. The point of crying it out is to teach them that when they're laid down in their bed, it's time to sleep. You lay them down and then not go in again until after they're sound asleep, at which point you can cover them up again. I wouldn't waste money on a toddler bed, he'll just crawl out. You have to teach him what bedtime and naptime mean first. I am a strong believer of crying it out, but if you're not willing to lay him down, shut the door, and let him cry himself to sleep, then the method won't work for you.
I had the same problem. A toddler bed is a wonderful idea! Tell your son he can pick out his very own "big boy bed". That makes it special for him, and he will look forward to sleeping in it. If he gets up and wanders into your bed, lead him back into his own bedroom and stay with him a few minutes until he gets settled in. Tell him, "Goodnight, and Mommy will see you in the morning." If he gets back up and comes in again, take him back to his bed, but this time don't say a word. Tuck him in and go back to bed. If he returns to your bedroom, repeat the procedure, not saying a word after the first time. Do this enough times, and he will get the message. It may take more than a few times, and he may sleep in his own bed for a little while and then try to return to your bed again. Just keep saying to yourself, "This is for his own safety, and for the good of my marriage!" Believe me, if you let this pattern continue, your husband will begin to resent his son and you for starting the whole thing! I have a 9-year-old who will still try this on occasion! Call it tough love, or just a search for sanity, but you have to stick it out! It will get better!
Yes you'd better get him in his own bed. I have a friend whose son of 10 years old is still sleeping with them. They couldn't bare his crying at their door wanting to come in.
Read him a story in his bed. Lay down with him, until he falls asleep. If he gets out of the bed in the middle of the night, take him back to his bed and comfort him until he falls asleep. (maybe rubbing his head or back) Soon he will know that you are there if needed, and will relax and stay asleep. Separation anxiety. Be persistent and don't give in and say "ok you can sleep with us tonight". Because he will use whatever he did to get into the bed again., but if you are persistent in making him stay in his own bed, he will finally realize that is where he should be sleeping
Its going to take a while and some terrible nights but stick with it.
There is no trick. A few weeks of "hell" will bring years of peaceful sleeping. Don't give in or you will be posting this same question a year from now and again and again.
I think the most important thing is to get your child into his bed - no matter what. So first, you might bring his mattress into your room and put it next to your bed, so that he gets used to sleeping in a separate bed. If that doesn't work, I would get yourself a little futon or mat and set up bed in his room. I would expect that you'll have a couple of difficult nights, but when your son wakes up, assure him that you're there and encourage him to sleep in his own bed. Once he is going to sleep more easily in his own bed, start moving your bed farther and farther from his bed each night. When he stops waking up in the middle of the night (or when you get out into the hallway and out of sight), then you may be able to go back to your own bed. It's going to be a long process, and although I know many people are big supporters of co-sleeping, I have never been. My husband is an extremely heavy sleeper, and I would never trust my son in bed with him! ^_^ If you have a second child, I would consider getting a co-sleeper bassinet or travel crib to put at your bedside instead of bringing the baby into the bed with you. Good luck.
It may not be what you want as far as advice but honestly unless you and your husband take meds that put you to sleep or drink or go to bed with your senses impaired in other ways co sleeping isn't as dangerous as most people would have you believe. I would second getting the book by Dr. Sear The Baby Sleep Book http://www.askdrsears.com/store/detail.asp?pid=35. I'm sure you can find in on Amazon.
Good luck in finding a sleep patter that works for ALL of you (you, your husband AND your son).
This is going to be tough to break, but if you can make it one night, you will win the battle. First, no more sippie cups at night. You are going to have to put him in the bed and let him "cry it out" again. I've known mom's who have had to let their kids cry it out for up to four hours. Your little one may need more time fussing. It's giong to be hard, but stick it through one night, and you will find his crying time decreasing each night. You'll be thankful that you did stick through it once it's done.
i am going through the same thing with my 18 mo old. we bought the toddler bed and got nowhere.i know this isnt very helpful..i just wanted you to know you are not alone.
I have a 20 month old that is co-sleeping with us and has been since birth. It is what works for us. There is a really great book regarding sleep patterns and has some great ideas about different sleep arrangements that might help you. It's by Dr. Sears "The Baby Sleep Book". We do not believe in the "cry it out method" our thought process is that you are best suited to care for your child and if it doesn't seem right or feel right to you...then it probably isn't. Just fyi Co sleeping isn't dangerous unless you don't follow the rules and you or your hubby shouldn't roll over your child unless you are under the influence of medicine or alcohol. Just wanted to throw that into this for your peace of mind. Sorry you are having such a diffucult time. You can also go to askdrsears.com to get some more good information about sleeping. You have to figure out what works for you but this but is great and an easy read. Good luck and keep your head up the is light at the end of the tunnel! hope this helps
