How Do I Find My Daughter That Took off to Canada with My Grandson Without a Pas

Updated on July 09, 2017
R.H. asks from Seguin, TX
14 answers

I just want to be able to bring my grandson back to Texas for visitation

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So What Happened?

Well my daughter met a gentlemen online and she went to canada a couple of times and he came to texas twice and got and got married. and said they were going to move down here and then my daughter decides she is going to see how much she could hurt me by taking off with my grandson which is a us citizen .she has taken him away from the only family he has ever known.

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Visitation by grandparents is not a right. Been there (drug traffickers, wife of drug trafficker with ties to Mexico and a woman who has hated me all my life and picked up and moved to China) done that!

ETA- I find it interesting that you only want your grandson and not your daughter. Maybe that's why she has wants to stay with her husband and son in Canada.

6 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

She is the mother, she has every right to move him where she wants and you have no legal right to visitation because you are not the parent.

Maybe with time, if you work on mending your relationship with your own child, she will allow for a visit.

5 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm so sorry for you, but unless you have legal custody of your grandson your daughter has the right to move with her child wherever she want to.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Unless you have custodial rights? there is nothing you can do.

IF you want to "find" your daughter? Hire a private investigator.

As of 2009? ANYONE traveling to Canada via land, air or sea MUST have a passport. Period. A child under 15 will still need a certified birth certificate. However, it's easier to have the passport.

http://traveltips.usatoday.com/children-need-passport-tra...

I understand you are hurt and want to see your grandson. You have no recourse unless you have custodial rights to the child.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Even if you can locate your daughter, I can't imagine you being able to take her child without her consent. This doesn't make sense.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I can only imagine how upsetting this is for you. I would work on repairing your relationship with your daughter. Based on the wording of your post ("she wants to see how much she can hurt me"), the relationship sounds very strained.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Do you really think her only reason for moving to Canada was to hurt you? Maybe she can have a better life with her new husband. I am assuming he is working and has a place to live. Was she living off you? She may have wanted her independence from you.

Hopefully in time she will realize how much help you have been to her and your grandson and come back to visit you. I don't think you have rights over the grandson unless you have gone to court and been given them. Would you be willing to travel to Canada and visit them?

Honestly if you want to be around your grandson, you need to have the mother wanting that. In other words, you may need to play nice to her if you haven't been.

3 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Is your question, "How do I find her?" Do you not know where she is? Did she move or is she traveling around, or don't you know? Not sure what "took off" means. If you don't even know where she is, then you have to hire a private investigator - but that's expensive and Canada is a big country! And what will you do with the info once you get it? If she's not talking to you, what's your plan?

Canada is easier for Americans to get in and out of without a passport than are other countries. So maybe she had her ID and his birth certificate?

Or is your question, "How does a child travel back to the US without his mother?" It matters where you have any type of legal connection (custody, guardianship). Did she take him out of your custody? Or does she have custody and you just want to be able to see him? How old is he and is he old enough to travel unaccompanied once the ID question is settled? My mother took my 11 year old son to Bermuda with just a notarized letter from my husband and me authorizing her to travel, seek medical attention, etc., and she had his birth certificate and medical insurance info. But that was before 9/11 so things have changed.

If I were you, and if there's no legal/custody issue at play here and a good relationship with your daughter, I'd either call the consulate/State Dept. (check the on line info first), or call my Congressman's office and ask what they know. They know the government, often they can grease the wheels for you, and that's their job.

ETA: Here, I just looked it up for you. Americans can go to Canada with a photo ID (license) and proof of citizenship (birth certificate, voter ID card). Children under 16 only need proof of citizenship (birth certificate if born in US). Here's the website: https://travel.state.gov/content/passports/en/country/can...

3 moms found this helpful

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Welcome to mamapedia.

Your daughter left the US with her son? Okay. Do you have legal custody of your grandson?

I'm not sure what you mean - how would your daughter get your grandson in Canada without a passport? I will assume that's what you meant by "PAS"?

If you have legal guardianship or legal custody? I would contact my attorney and then the police to notify them of the alleged kidnapping.

Good luck

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Hire a private detective?
She's an adult - with her husband - raising her child.
Ultimately you have no choice but to let her live her life.
Good decisions/bad decisions - she's going to learn by living it.
Let go of what you can't control and find something to do with your life that gives you joy.

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D..

answers from Miami on

She married the man. Did you fuss a lot about that?

Lots of daughers resent their mothers if they make negative feelings known about the man they have chosen to marry, whether the moms are right or not in their assessments...

Many married people go somewhere away from their parents to start new lives together. Evidently your daughter doesn't want to live near you at this time. Whether or not you have given her a reason to feel this way, I don't know, but your comment "...she is going to see how much she could hurt me by taking off with my grandson..." sounds like you have been quarreling with her, and she has decided to go with her husband to where he is from...

If you want to have a relationship, albeit long distance one, you need to adjust your attitude. You don't have the right to keep her in your area. Try to accept her feelings and stop trying to stand in the way of her happiness. Hopefully you can fix your relationship so that you can travel to see your grandchild, and so that you and your daughter and son-in-law can get along and act like family.

2 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Why don't you work on developing a good relationship with her and her husband. Get to know him. Find things you like about him. Plan a visit once or twice a year to spend time with all three of them. Get to know the area of Canada they live in. Compliment them. Work on having a positive relationship. I can't tell from your post what your relationship with your daughter is like...but compliment her parenting, her life, her house, her work ethic, or whatever. Don't be critical. Ask if they would ever like to visit you and say you would love to have them. It is not uncommon for someone to get married and live far away from their parents. I lived in Alaska 15 years. My mom really enjoyed visiting. I live closer now...but still in another state.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

US Citizens under age 16 do not need a passport to go to Canada. If she has full custody of her child, nothing illegal has happened in that regard.

If you don't know where she is in Canada, you can hire a private investigator to find her, but you probably won't be able to do anything with that information once you have it. Unless you have some kind of formal guardianship or visitation order in regards to your grandson, you don't have any legal recourse. Your daughter has all the rights in making decisions for her son.

If you can a contentious relationship with your daughter, your best bet for seeing your grandson is to swallow down any irritation and keep your opinions to yourself when you next speak with her again. Even if you discover her whereabouts, I suggest you wait until she reaches out to you. If she doesn't want to hear from you, she may up and move again.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I'm so sorry for you. Your daughter has every right to take her child where ever she wants unless a court has taken that right away from her. Being in a different country now, well, that country has it's own laws and they can decide to even not obey a court order if there was one.

I suggest you try to mend your burned bridges with her and then slowly get to where you can chat with him via Skype or phone calls or something. Maybe she'll even let you go visit her and her husband sometime if you learn to accept her marriage and new life.

My friend has a daughter that met a guy online and they got married. The daughter moved overseas but left her son stateside with my friend to go to school, so she could get acclimatized to the new country and find out if her marriage would work out.

She took her son to live with her and her husband full time after about a year. She loved the new country and wanted her son to grow up there. She ended up divorcing her new husband but stayed in that country and still lives there today. Her mother has joined her over there and lives there too.

1 mom found this helpful
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