How Do I Disciple a 13 Month Old?

OMG, she is only 13 months old, verbalizing 'no' and redirecting is about it, and it will take doing this over and over and over and over... so just relax, she is being a baby!

She's really too young for much right now. She needs consistent adult supervision to intervene before she hits anyone.

You don't. She is too young to know right from wrong. Just say NO and take her away from the situation. She is just a baby not a toddler. I am sure she is not trying to get her way by throwing herself on the floor she probably can't talk so whining is how she tells you she is upset.

At this age you need to remove her from the situation (your niece), tell her "no, we don't hit", and distract her. She is too young for time-outs. If, when you take her away from your niece, she throws a fit....let her. So what? She'll get over it and she needs to learn that pitching a fit is NOT going to get her what she wants.

Be calm, be patient, and she'll figure out that you mean it.

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My little girl was so tough from 3 mos to about 17 mos old. I didn't know what to do to be honest but felt like you do. My babysitter who is incredible with kids and who seems to know better than me would put my little one (about age 13 mos) in her crib everytime she would throw a fit, it was very obvious it was a fit also. It worked, I was amazed. She is now 19 mos old and getting easier every day. She is totally fine going to bed at nap times and bed times, it didn't do any damage there. I was worried about the same thing though but luckily all turned out. Redirect is a great answer also that others have given you here. Best of luck, I know how tough it is. Remember it will get easier!!!

She doesn't understand that it is wrong. She is not capable of understanding others feelings, etc. Also, she doesn't have the self control to stop and if anything thinks it's funny and she doesn't really care that you don't want her to do it! So, a punishment isn't effective.

That being said, SHE CAN LEARN that this is an unacceptable behavior. But, try not to become frustrated, and just keep telling her "no" in a FIRM voice. If necessary, you can just hold her hands for a moment, or hold her, like a time out, so that she can't go back to doing it.

When my daughter was a baby, we didn't put things up away from her (unless they were dangerous, of course), we just continually said "no" and moved her away. We probably said it 50 times a week for everything, but she learned. It's important for them to learn to listen to you, and they can learn. Kids are smarter than a lot of people give them credit for!

Dr Sears has plenty of discipline advice for this age group. Time out for her age isn't going to do anything. A simple redirecting works best.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp

All you can do at this age is to redirect them to new activities. 15 mo is really the earliest that a child is developmentally ready for discipline and likely won't need any until 18mo old. Mine was a spit fire and needed some discipline at 15 mo. 13 mo is to early. It really is. You can say no, and move her away, or pull her hand off the other child.

The truth is that a baby of this age isn't capable of sharing. It would be developmentally inappropriate to expect a 13 month old to share. They MAY play side by side with another child, but sharing isn't going to happen. Personally, I would give each child similar items to play with and expect that there is going to be forceful taking of toys. Redirection before it gets to the point of hitting is great, but it takes a lot of patience and practice. I have four sons, and after a while I got really good at knowing when we were about to hit or bite or push. I just sit down with the little one and play. Time out isn't effective until they really understand that other people have feelings. I often don't feel that time out really works for kids under 4 because they often can't make the connection between meeting their needs inappropiately and being sent to time out.

I think at this age, be quick, remove her from the situation, tell her hitting hurts in a strong voice and distract her. At 13 months, that is probably the best form of discipline you can impliment. I wouldn't remove her to her room but maybe to the kitchen or away from the other child. If she throws a fit, she throws a fit. Don't make a big deal about it and walk away. That is their way of protesting. and while it isn't ok, that is what she has and knows for now. I think being consistent about how you handle the situation is key.

Good luck!

Crib is great. But it is really the big idea of her beginning to learn to listen to you and to curb her own passions - of doing what she wants when she wants. She can be taught at that age to sit somewhere until she is ready to return to the group. Our friends did the following. If Rose was naughty, she had to 'go to the stairs. Come back when you are a happy girl.' They brought her there to train her how it worked. If she came off the stairs and was still fussing, back she went. "Are you a happy girl?" The answer had to be 'yes' with a relatively happy face - not sassy or sullen. The idea is to let the child practice getting herself under control.

We did this with all three of our girls - it took longer for some than others, but has really helped.

The most important thing is being clear about what you are going to do ahead of time, doing it immediately (if you teach her that she gets three chances, she will learn to ignore you for the first 2 warnings), and being 100% consistent.

It's only the beginning of helping her to become a thoughtful, self-controlled young woman. But then, it's pay now or pay later - we do the hard work for the first 18 years so that they can reap the benefits as adults, and not all the heart break of being out of control self-centered young adults.

You can do it, Mom!

OMG, don't listen to anyone who says she is not old enough. These little ones are so smart and people don't give them credit. At this age it is cause and effect. Therefore, you are doing the right thing by removing her from the situation. She throws a fit because she is experiencing the effect of her actions. This is a good thing. Stay with it and don't give in to her fits. She will learn.

Maybe show her an exaggerated sad face and then show "nice touches" while you change your body language to happy body language. Also, she probably won't stay in timeout just yet but she will get the idea that you're upset just by being put in timeout. I started timeouts around this age and it didn't take more than a couple of months for my son to put himself in timeout and stay there when told to go to timeout.

at that age I started training her time out on the steps..you can also buy a "time out chair"..she would not stay in there, and i kept bringing her back to the stairs...doing that repeatedly..she got the hint of time out really fast...especially at that age, I swear she was in time out about 2 or 3 times per day. Definatly do not put them in their room for time out. their room is their 'safe place' nothing bad should happen in it...its a place for sleeping and playing

Start with picking her up and removing her from the area in the same room. If that doesn't work put her in a nearby room. If she cries in frustration so be it. She is probably entering the twos early (mine started at 6 months). Sigh. Stay very calm and no emotion. Don't give love or anger. Just pick her up and remove her. If she comes back and does it again remove her again.

Do it until she figures it out that when she hits she doesn't get to play. If you think that she will understand tell her every time that "when you hit you can not play with us" or some such words, but use the same words every time.

But the most important thing to remember is to stay calm and remember that is will take a while. Be patient and calm.

I think the best way to teach them at this age is two things:

1) Tell her "No hitting" don't try to explain, he attention span is so short she won't follow you. Then say something like, "be gentle" and put her hand on her cousin in a loving way.
2) Second, after you do the first thing, take her to a different area or toy so that she is distracted from the negative behavior. If she proceeds with a tantrum then walk away and let her have her fit. Don't show her any attention, that's what she's looking for after all.

IMO, I wouldn't worry about time out until they turn 2.

Separate them. One in the play pen and one out of it. They are too young to play cooperatively together. That comes between 3-4 yrs old.

Um, she's 13 months, so she's hardly going to listen to you! It's waaaay too early for time outs at this age. I would just continue to say no and remind her that we touch "gently", show her and then if it gets too bad, remove her from the situation. But she's not going to get anything at all from time outs or discipline at this age. She's still discovering her world around her and doesn't understand the consequence of her actions. You can't really start time outs until about 18 months of age, and even that's early. Some people say time outs start at around two years, but it depends on the child, I think. I don't even think it's a sharing issue at this age - it's just about what kind of reaction she gets from her actions. Curiosity, if you will. Just keep telling her no, and stop and show her how to touch her cousin gently.