How Do Children Learn That They Shouldn't Interupt?

Here's what we are teaching our children (4 and 21mos) to do when they need to talk to us and we are already in a conversation. They can come up to us and put their hand on us so that we know they need to say something. If we can stop the conversation for a minute we do in order to talk with them. Otherwise we will put our hand on top of their hand so that we acknowledge them and they are learning to wait until we can stop the conversation to talk with them. This can be used for live conversation or for the phone or while you are reading them a story as well.

I read this advice somewhere and thought that I would try to use it when my daughter is older... not sure if it actually works but thought I would share. When your child has something that she wants to say to you but you are talking to someone else she squeezes your hand and then you squeeze back to let her know that you will respond when you are done talking. Again, don't know if this actually works but it was just something I heard somewhere. Hope it helps!

Hi M.,

I have an in-home childcare and when I am talking to parents and their children interupt, I look down at them for just a moment, I say "hold on until I am finished with this with your mom, and then you can talk." At the same time, they put a hand in mine and I constantly rub their little fingers so they know I haven't forgotten about them...but I do finish what I have to say before I turn my attention to them. I have had several parents comment on this that after watching me, they try this at home. It seems to work really well. Good luck!

M.,
I am sure you have tried numerous times to explain this to her, so now may be time to just "ignore"....At first it will be very hard and she will get loud then louder, but hold your conversation. When and only when you are done turn and ask her if she had something to say. If this doesnt work (which it should with consistency), do it back to her.... when she is talking to daddy you start talking and dont stop... she will correct you as you do her, then explain to her again why she did that... At 4 yrs old she does know that is not good, but is pushing buttons... I drive school bus (and yes 4 yr olds for pre school) and it is amazing what they know that most would not think they do.....
Good Luck
Tam

Exactly like my son!!!! He is five now and has started to show some restraint. What works for us is for me to hold up my hand to him or just one finger (like a "shhhh"). This way I don't have to say anything, which further interupts my conversation and he gets a gentle reminder to wait. Even once they know that it is wrong and rude, it still takes alot of time for them to relize when they are doing it. I really think that sometimes they don't even notice that you are talking because the only thing important at the time to them is what they have to say. Also, if you haven't already, have her dictate one of her stories to you so you can read it to her later!!!! We read my sons stories for bedtime sometimes!!!!

LOL I only laugh because I have the exact samething. My 3 1/2 year old hasn't stopped talking since she started! I've only come to realize that all you can do is just keep reminding her that you are talking to someone else and she had to wait. I am always telling her to be quit so I can talk with so and so. But she'll stand there and say mom, mom, mom, and so on until I tell her again to be quit and let me talk and then I'll talk with her. I'm hoping soon she'll understand. But I think my older daughter was around 5 before she got "it". So I still have hope and you should too. Just keep reminding her :o) Good Luck with your talker!

Having 2 interrupters at home I feel your pain! One thing that has worked for me is that when our kids need to talk to me about something and I am talking with someone else or on the phone, they quietly approach and put a hand on my arm. I then cover the hand with mine and keep it there. That lets them know I know they are there and that I will talk with them as soon as the conversation permits.

This takes practice on everyone's part and you need to be consistent! We actually practiced it as a family before we tried it out in a "real life" situation.

Hi M.,
When I was a teanager, my step mom who had two adopted girls from age 2yrs, taught them to approach her and place their hand on her's and wait until she looked at them, for them to speak in turn. I know they were young, maybe age 4, when she taught them this. I saw it work for her firsthand. I think she learned the technique through Growing Kids Gods Way if you'd like a specific reference. Hope this helps!
Gwyne

We our boys we have taught them to lay a hand on our arm or shoulder, I acknowledge that they are there and then when there is a break I turn to them and listen. However, I have also found that they were listening to what we were saying and had a though or story to tell themselves. They just wanted to be a part of the conversation. I don't make them wait too long becuase they might have to use the rest. or are letting me know one of their brothers is getting into trouble.

Hello, Everyone has good ideas! I have a 15 year old son who is and was just like that. I tried all of the ideas posted but he just doesn't get it, I don't have the same problem with my other ones though, he just loves to talk and like your daughter it is any and I mean any thought that pops into his head, as a little guy it could be so frustrating but know the things that come out of his mouth can be so very funny, the family and I always wait to see what ridiculuos thought is going to pop into his head so we can have a good laugh. So my advice would be to work on it, but if it doesn't work, don't worry your future will be filled with many laughs!!!

I like the idea of having them lay a hand on your arm to let you know they would like to talk, and then you can lay your hand on top of theirs to let them know you are aware of it. Also, try explaining to her why it's not okay to interrupt. My 3.5 year old drove me nuts while I was on the phone until I finally sat him down and explained to him that when he is loud I can't hear what the ppl on the phone are saying. Made a big difference.
~L.

My step-son did the same thing when he was about 4 or 5 and it drove me NUTS!!! He would interrupt all conversations... ones with my husband, my mother, those on the phone, even when I was trying to check out at the grocery store. I tried to put up a hand or finger to let him know to wait a minute, but he would just get louder, so then I would try to say "hold on just a minute, I'm talking to Dad" which would work, but he would still interrupt the next time that he had to say something, so I finally would just completely ignore him when he would interrupt me and talk louder over him as he continued to interrupt... at the end of MY conversation, I would turn to HIM and explain how rude it was of him that he tried to talk when I was talking and that he needed to wait his turn. It actually only took a few times of this and he got it. I told him that I was happy to listen to anything that he had to say, but he had to wait until the conversation that was already going on was done. Good luck!

Hi M.! My husband and I have taught "Growing Kids God's Way" a number of times-they have a terrific way to teach children not to interrupt-you can actually start teaching them as soon as they can talk-When you are either on the phone or talking with another child or adult and they want to tell you something, have them put their hand on you-your leg or arm and wait patiently and quietly until you acknowledge them. When they are younger you obviously do not make them wait very long-you teach it by "playacting"--you could pretend to be on the phone and have her come and "practice"--you should explain the rules before you begin-they catch on very quickly and it works wonderful! My husband and I used to tell our kids that we were going to play the no interrupt rule game-think of something you want to tell us, they we are going to be sitting at the table talking-come and put your hand on us and wait until it's your turn-then you can tell your story-it teaches children that everyone is important and they should not be selfish in overtaking others conversations-everyone has something important to say-not just them. Good Luck!

She may be a little young for the patience to wait for a conversation to be finished, but tell her you must finish your sentence before you will let her talk. Also, by making a secret game of this suggestion, she will know how special she is. Tell her when you are having a conversation with someone and she needs to talk to you, that your 'secret code' is that she is to put her hand on your arm, and then wait for you to ask her what she needs to say. (The trick here is for you to remember to acknowledge her :)). She may not fully grasp what 'interrupt' means, but I assume you're stating your message in simple terms of "please do not start talking when someone else is talking." It will always be a fine line between her patience and yours.