How Can I Help My Parents to Take Care of Their Finances?

I have to agree with the previous response. I hope that I don't sound offensive but I have to say that your parents are responsible adults who should be able to deal with their own issues. My husband, who is a wonderful man, has parents that sound similar to yours. They have no retirement, no home, no investments, 50k in credit card debt and now are both having some very serious medical problems. Thankfully they have not come out and asked us for money because we don't have it to give. They do, however, seem to think that they can come live with us rent free until they get their issues straightened out. The problem is that they never will get their issues taken care of and neither will your parents. I think that perhaps, as hard as it may be, you and your sister need to sit your parents down and have a chat about the burdens that they are placing on your families and the unnecessary stress it is causing you. I know that it is incredibly difficult to separate yourself emotionally from your parents, because they are your parents, but I think that if you can do that and look at them objectively it will make it easier for you to see a solution to your problem. I wish you all the luck in the world!!

I know it may sound harsh, but your parents are acting like teenagers...unless your parents are much older or ill...you should not feel that you have to care for them in this way. They are capable of taking care of themselves. What you should do is tell them you will be there emotionally and help guide them...but cannot help them with money any longer. Help by trying to find a way to get your mom a job...job training, or counseling to help her through her rough emotional time. With your dad, just let him know you support him in whatever he does, but no more money. Hope that helps...

Hello,

I have had to deal with my mom in this manner for most of my life. Through time, I have learned (and due to a wise husband who also had the same issue with his mom) is to set firm boundaries. I would bend over backwards for my mom, but it gets old and it is enabling to them. I started taking the approach of, "I do not lend or give money...if you need some food I would be happy to go buy something at the store for you." It is amazing how the calls stopped. This may be a thing for their generation...my mom is 59 and has been doing this since I was in high school. It is nice now...she has finally figured it out and does not ask to borrow money...FAMILY RULE: NEVER LEND MONEY TO ANYONE...PROVIDE FOR THE NEED. You can find out when there is truly a NEED this way. It is a good rule anyway; I was taken by a stranger/con man years ago, so it protects me and does not enable my mom. DO NOT LET THEM DRAG YOU AND YOUR FAMILY DOWN---if they are physically/mentally able to work, girl...they better be working. It is tough, but my relationship with my mom was so unhealthy before and now it is great. She even buys my lunch for me on occasion.