How Can I Help My 6 Year Old...

I think it is very common at this age, you are still talking about brainy activity after a full day at school, it can feel like a lot. I would try braking homework into 10 Minute chunks, even set a timer and let her take a break. In my school they aim for 10 minutes per grade, so a 4th grader gets 40 minutes of homework, and a 1st grader gets 10. It's absolutely ok that she spends 30 minutes total when you are working so closely with her and supporting her, but 10 minutes at a time may be all she can handle.

My daughter is 6 as well and all I can say is that mine simply gets a case of "I don't want to.". Basically she shuts down and devolves into tears, just like yours. For mine, a stronger tactic works. "I know you don't what to, but you have to. Now, stop it and finish tracing those letter like you're supposed to and then we can do something else that is fun."

Good luck.

I don't know what to tell you other than you are not alone. My daughter is like this too, particularly with math. She hates it, and she struggles with it. Part of it is how it is taught, with this Everyday Math curriculum, but still, at age 9 she will tell me she doesn't know what 6+6 is. She is like your daughter and will cry and shut down and beg me for the answer. Every year I tell her teachers of our homework struggles and they look at me like we are discussing a different child. They say she is in the middle and she does know what she is doing so why she acts like it is a foreign language at home is a mystery to them. My guess is she is tired and she just doesn't want to put forth the effort. She does not like anything challenging, so this just goes with her personality. I would say explain it once and tell her she is going to have to do it. If it is wrong, she will suffer the consequences in school.

Maybe 6 year olds shouldn't have homework. They are in school long enough.

In hindsight, I would not have engaged with homework battles when my kids were young; I would have had fun with them instead, and let their teachers deal with the homework.

I don't think kids should get much homework till about 4th grade. Maybe your daughter is just burnt. She's already spent 7 hours at school -- little kids should get to play after school.

My grandchildren have struggled with homework. All of their teachers have said that homework in the first couple of grades is there so that they develop the routine of having homework. They said to set aside, 10minutes for first grade, to work on homework. When the 10 minutes are done, stop even tho the homework isn't finished. To force a child to sit and work on it when they are upset does not set up a good pattern. It's better for them to do what they can do and let the rest go.

Edited:
In the example you gave after having talked her thru the answer with the toy box, I'd have told her this is the answer.. Some are in the box because I've put them away. She's only 6 and doesn't have the experience of always being able reasoning out such a problem and recognize the answer. You've shown her how to reason out the answer and then you've told her that is the answer. Homework is practice. And practice at this age doesn't have anything to do with grades and doing your own work. It's about learning how to do it.

I'd talk with the teacher about her expectations for homework and ask her the questions you've asked us.

Wow, my first grader doesn't have any homework. I've asked other Mom's at other schools and they don't have homework either. First grade is too young for homework. Maybe offer a reward. Make a chart for the week or month or something. Tell her that if she gets 25 stickers over the next 30 days...you'll take her to the toy store or ice cream shop or picnic or whatever would be a reward.

I have found that if I am in the same room, not necessarily helping him, he will start with the drama...If I leave the room, he gets it done. And he doesn't gripe because no one is there to listen to it.

hmmm...is it possible this is a little bit of a "i can pull this drama with mom" thing?

i understand you don't want to dampen her spirit, or make homework a negative thing - but it might be that she is really just acting out. just something to try, because it sounds like you have tried everything else- i might start getting firm with her, and maybe even time outs for these kinds of outbursts. just a thought.

maybe have a talk with her, tell her you expect her to do her homework like a big girl and if there are any outbursts or tantums, she will go to time out. and then follow through. do that for a couple nights and see if that changes her attitude. i'd try it, since nothing else seems to be working. you don't want to have to deal with this for 11 more years...

I homeschool and for my 6-year-old-daughter her melt down zone comes for math. She GETS it, but she doesn't "like it" so it's like pulling teeth to keep her moving along on her math lesson. This leads to some burn-out, because I can't just let her not do it. This week, all week I cracked the whip trying to force her through her chapter, letting her skip some super tedious parts ONLY because I knew she understood them...and sure enough: When I gave her the test at the end of the chapter, she flew through it perfectly because the test is shorter, and she gets a sticker and the gratification of "another chapter down". But the daily grind is hard for now.

Don't get frustrated. Just urge her as you are. Discipline tantrums, but don't let the overall homework scene get too ugly, but don't let her skate either-it's a balance. Give it some time. I never used rewards regarding teaching my kids discipline, but now with school work, I do find incentives help a lot....like "when we get to the end of your ___Book, we'll go to a movie" etc. Maybe offer her a fun activity with you if she does this work for a whole week without complaining. Good luck!

Lots of good answers. Let me suggest one other thing, which is probably not the case since the writes at school without a problem. My daughter is dyslexic and her biggest deficit is writing. She had trouble learning to read but now reads just below average for her grade level. Her writing is about 3 grade levels behind (she is in 7th). From preschool days on she has always complained about "the work". I always wondered what kind of work they did in preK and K but now we know she meant ANY kind of writing. Later we thought she was just a playful child and had a long day and did not want to do homework. We made her do the single nightly sheet of homework in the lower grades and helped to motivate her (often through tears). It was not until 3rd grade that it became apparent that there was something more going on. After struggling for 2 years to get her on an IEP and then a year where they did not follow the IEP, she is now at a special school for dyslexics and is doing much better. The website below gives early signs and indications of dyslexia as well as how to proceed from there.

http://www.brightsolutions.us/