How Can I Get My Daycare to Feed My Son Differently

If you can take the time off for a day, you might try going to the daycare and observing how they do it. It might be that he wants more at certain times of the day. It might also be that they are giving him more just because he is fusing and that it is really some other problem like a bubble in his tummy. Does he spit up a lot while he is at daycare? What is he doing that makes them think he is still hungry? Ask so questions and try to come up with a solution. If they are not willing to work with you, then you might have to look elsewhere.

J., I honestly was not going to respond at all until a read Suzi's response. If I were you I would be offended by her response and disregard her intentions overt or otherwise.
The other ladies were much more mature in their hearts warmth to you and I wish you well during this transition.
Suzi, if you go back and read this--there are times when I too read some of the request and think things, but I keep certain thoughts to myself. I think you could have answered her without the distaste of CAPITAL letters. I suggest you use a little more class next time when dealing with a first time mom, especially since you have an in-home day care.
With sincerity, M. N.

Hi J.,

I'm a home child care provider myself and a mother myself. So I have 2 points of view on this one from a providers perspective and one from a mothers perspective.

So 1st if your baby is being breastfed and formula fed at the sametime then there will be a little bit of a difference as far as time frame and the amount they eat. Breast milk is not as filling as formula so that could be your difference there.

Also not matter whether he is at home with you or at daycare he should be fed between every 3 and 4 hours but no more than 5 hours with out a feeding.
My youngest 2 kids were big eaters. My 3rd child was eating 8 ounce bottles every 3 hours by 2 1/2 months and weighed 16 pounds, we put her on cereal. The 4th was eating 8 ounce bottles every 4 hours when she was 3 1/2 months old so we started her on cereal also. My point in telling you this is I don't think he is being overfed, but I do think he may be hungrier at one time more than the other and he might be on the path to taking more.

Another part to this, no matter where you take your baby to be cared for you and the provider or center need to have "effective and open communication" with each other. And you need to give them an outline to go with. So from my perspective and what I do with my daycare kids and will start here soon because I will be watching a new baby is this.
Lets say he wakes up 6:00 am and he is on a every 3 hour feeding schedule, heres how it should look:
6:00 am bottle, diaper change and ready for daycare
9:00 am diaper, bottle, play for a bit and back down for a nap
12:00 (noon) diaper, bottle, paly for a bit and down for another nap
3:00 pm diaper, bottle, play and then depending on what time you would be ther to pick him up he should either A) be awake, B) playing, C) laying down, or D) just got up from a nap.
So your night time routine should look something like this:
Between 3 pm and 6 pm you pick him up.
6:00 PM you do the same diaper, bottle play for a bit.
8:00 pm Bath time
9:00 pm Bottle and bed time.

With him being on an every 3 hour feeding schedule no matter if you give him formula or breastmilk he should eat at the sametime if you give him the same amount. You have a couple of different options and for a little it may be trial and error, but you do have a few options, such as:
Let your provider(s) know that you want them to A) always use all of the breastmilk first because that is what you would prefer him to have (he make take 6 ounces of BM) and then finish the rest of the feedings with formula (which he only may need 4 ounces of formula to be full.

B) use 4 ounces of BM and 2 ounces of formula for each feeding to make 6 ounces total. Until all breastmilk is gone even if there is only an ounce left.

C) with the outline I gave you that means they would feed him 3 times while he is there so they could put 2 ounces of breastmilk in each one and add 4 ounces of formula.

Or D) the final option and label it:
on the outside of the bottle put 9 am bottle, 12 noon bottle, and 3 pm bottle. In each one of these bottles put what you want in them- one of the scenerios above. ALL 3 of these bottles should be empty when you return back to get him in the evening. You already send the breastmilk and have to keep his bottles cold it would be no different than making him a formula bottle.
And for good measure in case you have to stop where before going home put one extra bottle in there with 6 ounces of formula, you can get one of those things that you can just put the formula you need in there, a bottle of water and the bottle, that way there is always an extra. By what I gave you he should at least take around 4 - 6 ounces at each feeding, so over the 24 hour period with 3 at daycare and 3 with you he should take in 24 - 36 ounces, which he would be right on target for.

Anyway hope this helps and you get it worked out, W.

I wasn't going to respond to your message, but then I read Suzi's arrogant and unreasonable response. I'm so sorry you had to waste your time reading that garbage. I would just switch daycares. I have worked in a daycare, and we HAD to follow the parent's instructions. I would find one that will adhere to the way you want your infant raised. Good luck.

J.,
you need to trust your mommy instincts. If your instincts are telling you that this daycare is not taking care of your baby the way you would want him to be taken care of then you know that you should be looking for someone who will.

It is possible that he could just be hungrier in the morning but are you nursing him right before he is dropped off at daycare? when he is at home all day you said he doesn't want that much so I am leaning towards they are trying to fill him up so they don't have to feed him as often. do they have a good caretaker to child ratio? maybe they are trying to take care of too many kids?

I feel like I am defending them but I'm not. They should respect your wishes and be willing to take care of your child in the way that is best for him and not most convenient for them. You should always be able to talk openly and honestly with you daycare provider and they should do the same. If they cannot or will not respect your wishes in regards to your child, you should find someone who will.

Good luck, and I hope you find someone who will care for your child the way you want them to.

as your child grows, his needs will change. I really like the idea of you using a bottle to see how much your son really will take. If you are uncomfortable with using the bottle, have someone else close to you do it. This is really the only way to judge whether or not your son is ready for more bottle. Both of my sons were big eaters & were taking 6oz before the end of the 1st month...& as a childcare provider, I have seen 8oz by 4 weeks!
(& as a side note: both of my sons were put on cereal at 4 weeks by their pediatricians!...which is almost unheard of today. & they both digested the cereal without problems.)
before checking out a new daycare, do some research at home. & with taking more at each feeding, your son will go longer in between...which will also occur as he grows!

I would ask for set times that they are going to feed him. Most daycares are on good schedules so they just need to schedule it right. My daycare lady feeds my baby at 10:00, 1:00, and 4:00 (give or take a 1/2 hour or so). I just send frozen breastmilk in bags and she thaws it out and makes the bottles. I pump usually 15-18 ozs a day at work. It is hard to tell how much a breastfed baby is really eating since they are more effecient at getting the milk out than a pump. Maybe you should try feeding him the bottle and see how much he wants to eat on a Saturday morning. 4 ozs doesn't sound like a lot to me but my kids were all big eaters.

He may just be really hungry during the day. It also could be that he wants to eat for comfort, knowing that it is as close to you as he can get during the day. It could be so many things. I would carefully talk to the daycare provider and feel the situation out. If you aren't comfortable or feel that they don't understand your concern, then by all means find someone else. I would hate for you to burn any bridges though. I would approach with care. :o) Also see what your doc says about your baby's situation and see if there is any advice that he or she could throw your way. Oh and ignore Suzi...She needs to lighten up...

Your baby, your rules. Good daycares are hard to come by ... so if everything else is fine, and you're happy with them, I'd talk to supervisor and make your request again. Then if they don't make the changes, I'd find a new daycare.

Good luck with your little prince!

J., I do daycare in my home and almost all of my new moms start out sending me pumped breast milk. My honest belief about your daycare provider is that she (they) do not want to take the time to feed him more frequently. Does he spit up a lot? Is he coming home with a lot of milk on his shirt, especially the neckline? These are both indications of a bottle being propped up for him to eat, rather than holding him. It could also be a sign that he's just getting too much in one feeding. I do my best to try to do what my mom's ask and try to explain if I'm not able to do that. My gut feeling is you need to start looking elsewhere.
Good Luck. M.

J., congratulations on your new baby! I used to work at a day care, and on that side of the curtain, it is hard. However your instructions for the baby are your instructions. Maybe you can ask the teachers what their concerns are, and why they feel he needs more. I have always wondered how we can truely know how much breast milk a baby takes when he is nursing. It is my opinion that we lactate more feeely when a baby is latched on than when we pump. However, I hardly think that is scientific. Maybe it is, I don't know.

Anyway, if you find that their concerns are that when they are done with the 4-5 ounces he is still rooting, and crying excessively, you will need to decide if you would rather this happen or him be fed more. And given that they are giving him formula to supplement and formula sustains them longer than breast milk, that could be the 2 hour difference you are seeing.

If you find that they are feeding them just because they have seen hundreds of babies, and they know best (they will most likely not put it this way, but you get the idea) then a conversation with the director is in order. If that doesn't work IMMEDIATELY, start shopping new centers.

Don't rule out the small private centers over the national chains, either! The smaller ones, while they may not look as nice or have the huge corporate created curriculum, they will often have a happier staff and more of a team oriented relationship. I was in a corporate situation, and it can be a very hard environment. Just a bit of food for thought.

Good luck with this! I hope it helps! And don't feel guilty for staying at home. I noticed a bit of that in another response. Most mothers would stay home, at least for a few months if they could, however there is no shame in making sure the baby has a home and electricity. Good job, J.!

Hi
J.. I too breastfeed my now 7 month old son and work part-time. I am quite suprised at what you said. I wonder if they are trying to put your son on their schedule. I would ask. Even so, they should honor your request. If they cannot, and then I would seriously consider looking for a daycare who will follow these simple instructions. I also find notes are good. Or maybe don't send formuala one day and see what happens.
T.

The best daycare is "Mommycare". Nobody will care for your 12 week old baby like Mommy. They are feeding him that way for one reason: it is easier for them - then they don't have to spend the time to do it more often.