How Can I Get My 10 Mo. Old to Go to Sleep and Sleep Through the Night?????

Updated on January 09, 2008
K.K. asks from Portland, OR
8 answers

My baby has always gotten up 2-4 times to nurse, but I thought that by now he should be sleeping through the night. I know all babies are different, but seriously!! He has been eating solids since 6-7 months and we have tried to load him up before going to bed (everyone tells me to do this) but it still doesn't work for my baby. I've tried bedtime routine stuff (i.e., bath, pj's, book, nurse) and that doesn't work. I've tried to get him back to sleep without nursing but it only works for about 20-30 minutes before he wakes up again and makes it known that he wants to nurse. I want to continue to nurse him throughout his first year, but it would be nice if he would sleep through the night for a change. He seriously has only slept through the night (i.e., 5-7 hours) two or three times!! Help!!!!! I'm sooooooo very tired all the time!!! Did I mention he rarely takes a good nap in the day? You would think he would be tired all the time too, but he is a very happy baby. I think he is part vampire...or whatever it is that doesn't need sleep.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the tips! I figured I'd get some advise regaring "crying it out". I really don't care for this method and don't see myself trying it. Surely there must be another way???

More Answers

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M.D.

answers from Portland on

I feel your pain. My son was EXACTLY the same way, but things do get better. If your son is gaining weight well, I would tend to believe that he is using you as a human pacifier vs. really wanting food. (If he is not gaining weight well, he might be trying to stimulate additional milk production with multiple nursings). Is he in his own room or sleeping with you? If he can smell you right next to him, good luck weaning him from his nightly awakenings. I would start napping him (and then having him sleep overnight) in his own room. THen I'd work on having my HUSBAND go into his room to comfort him at night (if he doesn't smell you, he will learn to sleep for dad - dad is boring). If you prefer to keep him in your bedroom, then you can likely look forward to some good sleep after he starts walking on his own. My son didn't walk on his own until 14 months, and that is when I experienced the sheer pleasure of sleeping through the night. You can thank the brain development...there is so much wiring going on in their brains at that time that they typically will not wake up for you. You also need to get him on a solid nap schedule during the day - an AM and PM nap at least at this age. The sleep during the day will assist in the sleep at night. I would highly recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. Before I had my son I always assumed that we were born knowing how to sleep - that our bodies would shut off when we got too tired. How wrong I was! Those babies need training, and kids like yours and mine need a special kind of sleep bootcamp. Hang in there...this too shall pass. My son (at three) now sleeps better than he ever did when he was an infant....

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A.Z.

answers from Portland on

Hi K.,

Loading up on food before bed works for some babies, but some it is just the opposite. The food gets digested and their bloodsugar gives them a boost of energy.

I am still nursing my 16 month old daughter and she still doesn't sleep through the night. One thing I have noticed is that she will sleep for 5-7 hours when she is feeling great or sick. If things are normal, she weeks 2-3 times per night and when she is teething it seems like it is every hour! Have you tried napping with your son during the day? My daughter is now a light sleeper and will sleep sometimes for only 10-20 minutes for her nap. But if she is sleeping next to me or in my arms, she will take a 2-2.5 hour nap! So, I will take a nap with her during the day when I am very exhausted and we both get some much needed rest. So while I do not have any great answers for you, I want you to know you are not alone!

A.

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K.M.

answers from Portland on

You just described my sweet little 9 month old boy! Never naps (maybe 20 minutes) and got up constantly during the night.

You have to let him cry it out, he doesn't know how to put himself to sleep, he has never had to (like mine!) It will take 2-3 nights, but hang in there, you will be a new person with sleep, trust me!

Lay him down when he gets tired, do your routine with him and put him in his crib and say "nighty night". Don't return until you think it is time for him to get up in the morning, (I don't get Henry 'till after 8am) the first night he will scream for you a lot the second night not so much and the third he will most likey cry about 5 minutes and sleep through the night, I promise!

BUT if you go in to check on him or tell him he is "ok" it will ruin it and you will have to start the process all over and it will be worse because he will think he can cry and you will come running, you have to commit to doing this before you start!!

This is my third, this works trust me. I did it with my first (she was 9 months old and up to nurse 7-8 times a night, then I quite cold turkey and she was so much happier, she was getting the sleep she needed and so was I. He isn't getting all the sleep he needs if he's up that much to nurse.

I really hope start to get the sleep you need, I have been there, you can do it!!!
Katie,
Mother of three GREAT kids

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N.D.

answers from Portland on

both my girls were just the same way and like you, i couldn't stomach the crying-it-out. i handled the sleep deprivation with one child ok but the combination of my older one waking up at night plus having to nurse the baby so much during the night..i was a zombie. luckily i was able to nap during the day. basically i was tired until the nursing ended. i chose a slow torture for myself instead of the all-at-once torture of listening to them crying until their spirit broke. this probably doesn't help your situation but know you're not alone!

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T.I.

answers from Portland on

I wonder the same thing almost every night. My son is almost nine months. He takes one nap a day. And its anywhere from 20min to 2 hours (on a good day). He has to be nursed to sleep. I swear sometimes I spend more time nursing him to sleep then he actually sleeps. I makes me crazy. I know many people use the cry it out method but I couldn't do it. I don't want my son to feel abandoned. I feel he is to young. Just about every other day he sleeps a 6 hour stretch. When he wakes up at night one of us (usually Daddy because he had the magic touch) goes in and pats him on the back till he goes back to sleep. But if he wakes up again I bring him to bed with us to nurse. Hang in there I know its tough.

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H.E.

answers from Portland on

I wonder if he might need more mental stimulation throughout the day and just before bedtime? Each person is different, your baby might just be a night owl. :) Another thing would be to have lavender in the room or maybe a linen spray of lavender. It's hard right now, but trust me - your baby WILL begin sleeping through the night soon. :)

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E.O.

answers from Portland on

When our son was 6 weeks old he slept through the night for the first time. Our nurse practitioner told us never to go in and feed him again if he wakes up... this didn't work for us, since he didn't sleep through the night again until he was about 5 or 6 months old. One thing that I found did help was going into his room at 10 or 10:30 before I went to bed, wake him up to nurse (don't talk to him, or change his diaper or anything to stimulate him). Let him nurse and them tuck him back in. Let him put himself back to sleep and then he may sleep until 4or 5 at least. This may take a few nights of doing to get him in the groove, but it worked pretty well for us. Good luck! - E.

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B.E.

answers from Portland on

We talked with our doctor about this very thing and have a solution though it might be tough on you. Essentially, your baby CAN sleep through the night, but you need to allow him to learn how. You have to let him cry it out. Its kind of hard at first. Let him cry for 5 or 10 minutes, then go in (only to sooth him with loves and cuddles). The next time, let him cry for 10 to 15 minutes then go in (try not to pick him up at all - rub his back, sing, etc.). But you shouldn't be feeding in the middle of the night at all. As long as you continue to do this, he'll wake up. I'd encourage you to talk to your doctor as well. All I know is that it worked for us (now twice - with our second child).

It can be hard to hear your baby cry, but trust me its heaven when they learn. We JUST did this with our second child (now 9 months old) and it only took 3 nights to 'train' him.

Good luck.

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