My family and I bought a house - our first - and we're throwing a birthday/housewarming party for ourselves. I think I already broke one rule of etiquette there by calling it a birthday/housewarming party when we weren't asking for or expecting gifts. I was just too excited to throw a party!
My 2nd faux pas? I decided to put down a 6:30 time for the party start, thinking that parents with young kids (ex. 5 and younger) would prefer to get a babysitter and enjoy a late evening out. Our girls are 6.5 and 10. Families with older kids would bring them and be fine. Well, I've backed myself in a corner because the families with younger kids are BRINGING them! Argh.
I know, I know, it was bad form for me to assume that they would just leave their kids at home.
So what do I do now? My husband says we should change the time to 5 pm instead of 6:30. I don't want to do that, though. I need some activities for this younger set, to entertain them a bit. Our house is small! We will have at least 25 bodies in our home so I'm not sure what to do for the kids. It'll still be freezing cold outside with ice-hardened snow and dark so I can't expect the kids to go outside and have fun on their own because then a parent will have to be outside with them. HELP!
eta: Thank you for all the ideas! I think the parents with the young kids will likely leave the party early whether there are activities for the kids or not. The thing with the invite is that I was so sure the parents of kids 5 and younger would not think to bring their kids out so late (wrong!) and didn't want to say "no kids" because the older kids would be fine and essentially take care of themselves. How would you have delicately worded this on your invite or would you have just said point blank "no kids" ?
So, only 1 5 year old showed up and the rest were 6 and older. All that hand-wringing was for naught! My friends with younger kids ended up getting babysitters. Phew. Lesson learned. Thanks for all the suggestions.
The parents who bring the little ones will be responsible for them-or appoint an older child-and they will leave early. Do you have a couple of teenagers that could help you? Spead out a quilt in a room with a tv-and make them a picnic while they watch movies.
Hi M.!
I used to throw all kinds of parties for 'families'....I have a boatload of kids...and was easier for others to come to my home...
For one party that stands out in my mind, we turned my daughters room into a 'theatre'...we played 'homeward bound' as I recollect...but also made 'tickets'...had popcorn and other treats...and my 'olders' played usher/ticket taker...
We (adults) were able to have fun...and the kids did too.
Best luck!
Michele/cat
Move the time earlier... young children get cranky after dinner (especially when they are all inside). Not sure why you are locked into a time.
I would suggest sending out an email or another "flyer" announcing a new time and "please no gifts". Yes, people will bring you something small for your new home (bottle of wine-ish), but at least this way they won't feel the need to go out and "shop".
As for activities for very small children, that's tough. We have gotten in the habit of hiring a sitter to be at our home when we have parties so that our son and the other children are supervised and have someone to "lead" games.
You are now talking about a pretty broad age-range so I would hire someone and just ask that person to entertain the kids. Make sure that there are plenty of books, play doh, crayons, paper, simple craft supplied etc available. If there are things you don't want "touched" or could be broken, put them away. Have "kid food" and "drinks" ready and make sure that you have a coffee table cleared-off so the kids have a sturdy place to eat.
If you move the party earlier and hire a sitter to "kid wrangle", they could go outside. I saw a great idea in a magazine and tried it with my son and neighbors and it was a huge hit... we put water color (washable) paints heavily diluted in squirt bottles and let the kids "paint" the snow. They had a blast and the color washed off of their clothes and hands easily.
Do you have a garage? Can you have it cleaned out (I don't mean clean, just not full of unpacked boxes ;) in time for the party? For cool weather parties, we use our attached garage, with the garage door closed, for dads and kids... OK, so we don't tell them that, but it always seems to work out that way. The beer is out there, so the dads seem to congregate. We also put out the kids' trikes, a soccer ball, a small plastic bowling set, whatever seems appropriate for the age-group who's attending...
My neice's B-day (5) last Saturday was at 6:30p. We ate first, the kids played in the playroom (your kids rooms if you don't have a playroom), presents and cake, then we set up a kid's movie while the adults cleaned up/socialized.
If you have a Wii, those are always a hit!
I don't think you should feel responsible for arranging special activities -- let alone a babysitter -- for the kids whose parents are choosing to bring them along. It would be a kind gesture for sure to have some small-child activity going on, but you didn't advertise any sort of child services, and I think it's on the parents to judge whether and when to bring their kids to an evening party. I say, make whatever arrangements you *want* to do, but don't bend over backwards or stress out over filling in extra parental responsibility yourself.
One thing that friends of ours do regularly (they like to host parties) is they hire 1 or 2 babysitters, and ask any parents who are bringing kids to chip in $3 per hour for the first kid, or $4.50/hour for 2 ($6 for 3 kids, etc.). Then, the sitters mostly keep the kids in the basement playroom.
The parents can then visit and enjoy themselves without having to worry about the kids being entertained.
Then, its up to the parents of the kids how late they want to sleep and if they want to disrupt their sleep schedules to stay late or whatever.
How about setting up a projector and showing a movie and providing juncture.
If you can, get a teenage babysitter (or two) to help with the kids. Make one of your daughter's rooms into the "playroom" putting up anything that they do not want others to play with and be sure to secure anything that could possible get broken. If you can set up some "non messy" crafts such as a stack of coloring books and crayons and paper with stickers, that might help keep the little ones occupied. However, the parents of these small kids SHOULD also be responsible and watch them too. This is your housewarming party, not let's see how we can destroy your house party. I would be sure to serve the kids clear liquid drinks, not soda and grape juice. This will help with stains from spilling. Be sure to set a rule that there will be no food or drink in the bedrooms. They can certainly eat where all the parents are eating.
I hope this helps!
Set up a kids table with gift bags with little games inside, plus coloring projects. Make ALL your guests feel welcome!
Whens the party? Did you send a formal invite out or just word of mouth? Perhaps send a reminder email or e-vite and put all your new details in it OR cancel it altogether and reschedule due to bad weather! lol Good luck
Go with the flow and and follow some of the suggestions below and hire a babysitter. The next invite you send out make sure to say it is for adults only.
I hope your friends don't read your blog.....on that note....
Do you have space where you could put them...even in a bedroom with a blanket over your good bedding and let them watch a movie...maybe a 3D movie you rent with some popcorn?
And, if they are going to be joining in on the dinner...get yourself some ironing boards and tablecloths. These can be adjusted to the height of the child and make perfect tables. They also are fabulous for using as a food server. Or, maybe you could do a coloring contest for the younger kids...(depending on their age) and everyone gets a prize. Or maybe you just let the kids go play, then do a movie and more than likely, the younger ones will crash. Maybe you could ask the parents to have the kids pick out a game they would like to play with the other kids at the party and the older kids help out setting them up.
I feel bad for you. Nothings worse than envisioning something to be one way and have that thought thrown out the window! Good luck. I'd like to hear how it all turns out in the end.
Sue...
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