Horrible Grating Scream

if my daughter throws a full on fit like that, I walk away. Usually they just want the attention, and you shouldnt give it to him.

August 5th Angela T asked about tantrums.
You are stronger than him. Purchase ear plugs and have them available all over the house, in your handbag, in the diaper bag. Car.

The screams are a by product of the tantrum, so you need to treat the tantrum. Step over him and go into another room. place ear plugs in ears and let him finish crying. Yes, it could be 30 minutes, 45 minutes. Just do not give in. If you are out in public, leave. Place ear plugs in your ears and pick him up. Place him in your air conditioned car. Take some deep breaths and drive home.

The goal is to avoid the tantrums in the first place.
Step over and ignore. Go to another room, close the door if you have to. With no audience.. it is no fun..

Our daughter did have a meltdown in the bathtub.She cried and cried for 30 minutes. We left her there, we were watching her the whole time. and she would scream full blast, start to get quiet and then start again. I had my husband record it.. It is an awesome tape! When she finally calmed down, we picked her up without a mention of the tantrum and went through the bedtime routine.. She never had another tantrum after that. She began using her words, or we would ask her, "do you need a hug?" "Do you want some minutes to feel better?"

If you are out in public, pick up your child and leave. Once your child calms down, let him know you sure are disappointed to not be able to buy the groceries that you really needed.

I do agree about watching for signs of a meltdown. He needs to be able to put his feelings into words.
For each event only use 1 question or suggestion. You do not want to overwhelm him.
"I need you to use your words."

"You look disappointed that we cannot find your shirt. Do you want to wear the red one or the blue one instead?" Once he chooses your answer ~ "good choice!"

"We do not buy treats at the store, do you want to take, gold fish or raisins for a snack? " "You cannot decide? We can take both."

"You look very frustrated, that I need to change the babies diaper. If you will wait patiently, I will help you with the puzzle." Once he waits patiently "Thank you for your patience! "

"We will be leaving in 5 minutes. Please begin putting away your toys."
He puts them away
Answer "Thank you for putting away your toys. You sure are a big boy. "

"I need you to be my big helper and hold the diaper bag, while I open the door." He waits patiently Answer. "Thank you for helping me. You are a good helper. "

Also each time you see him holding his emotions together, touch him lightly and tell him you are proud of his behavior.

Well, I have always figured that my girls have the right to express their frustration, and I have the right to confine said expression to another part of the house away from me! My advice for you would be to take him to his room, or other room in the house that is safe for him to be in, and tell him very calmly, "I can tell you're mad that I put water in the squirt bottle. When you are feeling better, you can come out." And then leave the room and shut the door. Let him scream all he wants - he needs a chance to "get it all out" and then compose himself. Keep in mind that this is not a punishment, it's just a time for him to get himself under control.

My younger daughter was a terrrrrrrible two - I mean, that kid was so mad at the world it was unbelievable. She would have 7 or 8 knock-down, drag-out tantrums a day. Every single time, I'd take her by the hand (or pick her up if she'd collapsed on the floor), say, "I can tell that you're mad that you can't paint the cat with poster paint. You can come out when you're feeling better." (And then I'd go wash the poor cat, LOL) When she'd throw a tantrum in the grocery store, I'd leave the cart right where it was, haul her out to the car, and put her in the back of it (I have a big SUV, so I'd put her in the cargo space), and then stand there right outside the car until she'd blown off enough steam to calm down. Then we'd go back into the store and finish our shopping. Sometimes a trip to the store would take 2 hours, but that's life with a toddler!

Hang in there, mama. What your son is doing is totally normal. =)

Two thoughts that might decrease the strain:

For you, a package of those little, cheap foam earplugs, so you can stay calmer and cooler when he's shrieking.

For him, help him make a little set of picture cards that help him explain what he needs or what he is feeling. They can work almost as well as speech for many kids with delays, and making them together will be a wonderful experience for him, and probably for you. You'll get a chance to talk through many of his issues while he's calm.

You can draw the pictures or cut them out of magazines. Then keep them in a handy spot where you can put them in his hand when he's becoming distressed, or mount them on a wall where he can point to them to enhance his communication.

Also, google Dr. Harvey Karp, or The Happiest Toddler on the Block, to see some short videos about effectively capturing a child's attention when they're in the early stages of a meltdown. The book is really good, too.

Mom,
Have you tried walking into the other room when UR at home if he does this? I would try this to help, but be sure he is safe where he is when you do so? Putting him in the crib as youare doing then closing the door might be best until it stops. This screaming is attention seeking and probably due to the fact that he is frustrated at times that he can't fully communicate to you yet.Tell him nicely but firmly," Inside voice, screaming hurts my ears" then walk away if he doesn;t listen, I would try it for a week or so, I think when he sees that no one is there to listen and react the novelty will wear off. Dad and any other caregivers should do the same so you are all consistent. Hope this helps Mom.

I agree, this is for attention..........the more you can ignore the behavior, the better.......and tell him you are not happy with him right now......that is not being the good boy you know he can be.......

After he is done, tell him that you are uspet that he behaved that way..........on the flip, when he is playing and being good at the house, store or wherever, praise him about being so good.....

Hang in there, it will get better, and I like the ear plug idea........tell him you are putting them in so you don't have to hear him be such a bad boy.........

If this doesn't go away in a few months, I would talk to your doctor to make sure there isn't anything wrong with him that might be causing this..........better to be safe than sorry......

Take care....

Yeah, the poster that said he's frustrated is right on. At this age, they can't vocalize things very well. When they can't get across what they're wanting, they get frustrated. They aren't mentally capable of dealing with their frustration/anger in a more productive way, so they throw fits. My son was a HUGE fit thrower. Now that he's a better talker, they've decreased. He does still throw them when he is angry though--for the same reason, can't deal with his feelings very well yet. I just completely ignore my son when he throws a fit. I walk away and go into another room and keep myself busy. Once he is finished I find him and give him a hug and kiss and ask him to tell me or show me why he is so upset. If that starts another fit, I walk away. I keep ignoring until the fit is over. I will tell you though, I HAVE tried the method mentioned by another mama where I imitated his fit. I started screaming and kicking my legs. It does work. It makes him laugh when he sees how silly I look. I'd recommend either and both of these methods. Good luck! It doesn't last forever. :)

This method always works if you will do it right. You tell him "I want the screaming to stop and the next time you do it, I will swat your bottom." As SOON as he does a scream you walk up behind him and give him a VERY FIRM SWAT, if he continues, your make it MORE firm and you say" I told you I want the screaming to stop that is not acceptable behavior," if he does it again, your pull the diaper down and you give a very firm swat, until finally the swat is hard enough to make him not want to scream again, and he realizes you aren't going to give up until he stops screaming, BUT you have to continue this discipline until he stops this behavior, and you must be CONSISTENT or this will only teach him your word can not be trusted. This works with any behavior that is unacceptable.

theres 2 ways to handle this that have worked for me and friends. tell him that he's doing a horrible job of throwing a fit and you get on the floor and show him how to throw a fit and really get into it . the 2nd is make him throw a fit at the same time everyday for the same duration or several times a day which ever you think is right . good luck hope this helps

In response to the post from Laurie A., I would like to say that most of what you said was right on track, except for certain phrases you should or shouldn't use when speaking with children.

You should NOT say things like "You sure are a big boy," or "Thank you for being a good boy". Instead, you should say things like "thank you for picking up your toys", or "Good job holding the door open". You should address the child's BEHAVIOR, not the child themselves. You should be very specific when giving praise.

Also, instead of saying "no" or "don't do that", say what you DO want them to do. For instance, instead of saying "Don't run through the house!", say "we use our walking feet when we are inside" (don't say please with things like this, because it implies that it is a choice instead of a rule).

I am a Child Development major and a mom, so I know what I'm talking about. Hope this helps!

from my experience, children at theis age scream/tantrum because they are frusterated. They are frustrated because they dont know how to use their words to communicate, this is the way that works for them.
in your example he was upset because he wanted juice instead of water, try doing this: Joey, i hear you screaming, are you trying to tell me you wanted juice in your cup? (say this in a normal voice), when he nods or indicates yes, have him repeat: i want juice please. (how ever you can get him to do it: juice please etc....) then give him the juice (for positive feedback). you dont have to "give in" to what they want every time, but if you can on a few things, it will help.

it will also help if you can validate their feelings: if they cry when you are leaving the park, "I can see you are crying and you dont want to leave the park. It really stinks when we have to stop doing something we really like." say this while you are leaving the park!

good luck!