So my sons have beed playing with these two little boys down the street. The little boys are neighbors. One little boy V has a pool.trampoline.and swingset and also lives next door to an empty parking lot only used for overflow for high school events so the boys have a place to ride bikes around without worring about cars backing out of driveways etc. The other little boy lives in a trashy house that you just can tell is as dirty on the inside as the outside. Both sweet little boys and I am glad my kids are friends with them this summer. The kid with the pool I know his parents are nice people I have never heard a bad thing about them. Our boys are in the same school and we spend every summer and fall at football together. The other kid J I don't the parents at all but I what I do know I don't like.
This winter 3rd grade had basketball intermurals and one morning the little boy J was waiting outside for his step dad and was about to call him and instead asked me for a ride home. No problem. I also though it was odd the sd wasnt' waiting for him like the rest of parents. One day he comes over after school and says no one is home so can he come over for a bit. Sure I have the boys take a not to put on the door to let the mom know where he is. So today the little boys bike tire blows and he is freaking out that his sd is going to yell at him for it..??? I mean this kid and V went on and on about how mean he was, my son says maybe he is in a good mood today and V sayshe was screaming at someone when his family came home from somewhere today, So I teel my son after the boys leave that he is to only play at V's house and if V isn't home or leaves J can come here and if he can't themn he has to come home and to just say he has to check in. I don't want my son at this kids house around this crazy sd until I talk to V's parents and see what they say about him. What would you do? What would you sayt or have your kid do? This boy J I feel so bad for him.
Thanks ladies! I am not convinced he is abused. I think the SD just sounds like a first class jerk and MOST guys like this don't try to hide it. I just don't want my kids traumatized by this man or worse my CRAZY husband going down the street in a rage and seriously injuuring this guy if he says something to my boy. I am surprised at how many men will marry women with kids and then treat the kids like crap?! Why marry a women with kids?!
Do whatever you believe is safest for your son. Don't question or feel guilty about hurting someone's feelings (as long as you aren't mean). That means, if J doesn't like it b/c your kid can't go over to his house, tell J nicely that's what you've decided for your kid for now.
My kids are never allowed to play at anyone's house unless I have met the parents anyway. You were right to tell your child to come home.
If they are unduly tough on J then have him over to your house often so he can just be an 8 yo boy.
Go meet J's parents. Get a look at his living environment. Be the eyes along with Vs' parents. Don't assume the worst though.
I think you did the right thing.
I wouldn't want my kid hanging around a house where both lil' boys openly admit that the SD is mean.
Absolutely talk with V's parents and try to get the skinny on J's parents, then go meet J's parents yourself and feel them out and then take it from there....even if you have to just let J's parents know that you only feel comfortable with them playing at your house or V's house, since you have known V's parents and you guys have a history already (football)!
Better safe than sorry!
Thats so sad!! I feel so awful for "J" he sounds so neglected. You dont know anything about their family? Should discreetly ask some people you know and see what they say and go from there. And if things are really bad, then I might consider calling CPS. That boy is young and needs a proper family. If they cant take care of him then someone needs to. So sad. I also really hope that he isnt being beaten. His SD sounds really mean, and it sounds like "J" is scared of him. That is a red flag. I would check into things first and then talk about CPS.
You gave your son good advice though. You are being a concerned parent, and from what it looks like "J" doesnt have a good home life and you dont want your son being exposed to it in their home. You arent saying that he cant play with "J" you are just saying not at his house.
You are just being cautious, as you should. But yes, do check into things and see whats really going on.
And update us too!
