Honest Answers?

I understand what you mean by this question. I have read a lot of posts that don't want "bashed" but are asking for advice. It sometimes seems that people want to just find support here for their premeditated viewpoint.
I am not a basher though. I state what I think and how I feel about the situation. I do my best not to demean their circumstances or their view. It is not my place to judge. If I feel I have a little insight, then I post a response. If I don't have anything to say. I don't post on questions. This is just how I am.
It does get annoying at times, but I really do like this site. When I post questions, I am actually looking for honest answers. If they disagree with me, that is fine. I take all the viewpoints into consideration. I asked for them, so I should read them all. I may think some of the people are rude in their answers, but I still read them.
I do believe that the majority of those on this site are genuinely nice women and men who want to share their experiences and knowledge with anyone who may need advice.

I think the point is to give honest advice, but if an asker specifically says they would prefer not to get a certain type of answer, I do not see the harm in that. If you had planned on giving that type of answer than you can always just skip that question.

Honesty is good but some folks get a little nasty when they reply and like to overstate the obvious.

I always cringe when I see things like "positive answers only". I mean, do you really want our opinion or do you want us to pat you on the back and say "Yes, you're absolutely right!" Why ask in the first place?

Of course there's always the flip side when people will state things like "I don't want to turn this into a ___ vs ___ debate; I've already made up my mind on how I want to handle this so I'm looking for advice on ____ procedure/idea" I don't find anything wrong with that as flaming someone for not breastfeeding when they've obviously chosen to formula feed, etc. is a waste of time and counterproductive.

I miss Mamasource. There was a heck of a lot more civility and lot less (oh boy, yes I'm going to say it) lunacy with questions and responses. For example, if you've gotten knocked up three times by three different baby daddies, none of them are paying child support, you're a SAHM, and you're just puzzled as to why you can't make ends meet? Really? I mean, what else is there to say? Other than perhaps, maybe you ought to consider abstinence for a while? Sometimes the truth stings.

But yes, when I post a question I am looking for honest and intelligent responses. Unfortunately the latter is sometimes lacking.

What I do like about this board is that it isn't the usual mommy-jacking catfights about the same ole stuff you might see elsewhere.

Jeez Denise, who'd you piss off THIS time?!!! Bahahaha!

I am very thick skinned. I DO occasionally forget not EVERYONE is.

I genuinely enjoy the dramatic differences of opinion on this site.

There's always something in SOMEONE'S life that makes any given post rub them the wrong way. Mom's are a very passionate lot, we all have our causes, you know?

I think it's all good stuff (and today I have a sink full of dishes and a basket full of unfolded laundry to show for it).

Have a great night!

.

I agree with many of the others...I want an honest answer, but I also want it to be done with grace. Too many women on here talk to the poster as if they are the scum of the earth for asking. Calling people names, not being constructive, and acting as if you are better than the other poster is going to cause nothing but hard feelings. I try very hard to try and "talk" to the other person like I would a friend. Obviously we don't know all of the background to a lot of the stories, but that doesn't mean I can't be civil in the way I respond.

Anyways, to answer your question...yes I do want honesty, I want to know what the other person thinks, but I don't want someone's rudeness to come with it.

I give honest answers, and I am open to honest answers. But some people jump to conclusions and assume something thats not true about your situation, and thats not always helpful.

I am well aware of the fact that if I post a question I will get a vast amount of opinions. I would never, NEVER repost a hate mail answer back to someone that answered my post... I think that is the most childish, stupidist thing I've seen on here lately. If you dont like what someone said, move on... geez!
When you dont hear what you wanted to hear, oh well. If the majority of posts were things that you didnt want to hear than you should really look at yourself and double check if we might be right, or re-write your post in case we misunderstood your question.
To get in fights on here is ridiculous. If you dont like what someone said just forget it.... It shows VERY bad character to bite someones head off after you just asked for their opinion.
That's my story and I'm stickin to it.

Here's what I do...for the most part!
I don't answer questions about bottle feeding or people that don't want to breast feed. I am a breast feeding mom, so I don't have much to say about it. I am not going to knock them for that choice, it's just not mine and I have no info.
I don't answer questions about co-sleeping. I did it once and hated it. I guess, maybe I do, it just depends on what question is being asked.
I do answer, honestly, when I see a question. In fact, just today someone didn't like my answer to her question and felt the need to Private Message me. I read it, still didn't agree with her, but did not reply. Why? I don't need to get into a fight with someone who is so SURE that she is right!
I think that a lot of people don't want to hear the other side, sometimes I don't either, but that doesn't mean that the other side is wrong! But, I do think that it's not fair to the rest of us that people ask a question without giving all the info and then get MAD when people give a contary opinion.
Sometimes it's good to hear the "other side." But sometimes people just ask the question because they want vindication or to prove that they are right.
And some women on this board are GREAT about giving advice and accepting it. But, I think that's the way it is in the real world too! So, I take everything with a grain of salt. I state what I want to, I get a little cranky when someone feels the need to PM me and REITERATE why they are right...and then I shake my head because I am NEVER going to meet that mom in my life,so why do I care what she thinks?

I think most people want honest answers, I know I do. But what we don't want is judgmental answers. There is a way to be honest and not cast judgment. What we all need to understand is that we all want what is best for our kids and ourselves. We may have different ways of getting there.

Hi Denise
Yes I like to hear honest answers as I believe in freedom of speech.
See my post negativity on this site.
I also think that some responsers can be very cruel and judgemental in their replys where lines our crossed.
I feel there is no room for that on this site. I prefer intelligent responses and debate.
I have absolutely no problem with oponions that are different to mine as long as it is coming from a good source.
B.

I've been on this board for a little over a month. I haven't asked any questions so far, I usually find my answers just doing a little "seeking" on this site under the category that it fits. I see a lot of repetitive questions and I think that some of the regulars here get tired of hearing the same questions and dilemmas being posted over and over again and they get a little snippety when they answer. BUT, I think if you are brave enough to post you should also be brave enough to read the answers, ignore the ones you loathe and enjoy and learn from the ones you liked. I've seen people get snotty on here and it just gives me insight on that person and makes me realize that would not be someone I would want to be "friends" with that's for sure.
You are always going to get opinions and I don't think people are doing much "judging" as many of you are making that accusation. I think if you can FEEL judged, but honestly I have not seen any judgement or name calling so far in anyones answers ONLY in some responses from the ASKER. I agree with someone else on here that said that shows very low character. I've always been taught to ignore people that piss you off, and I think that's what we should do on here when we don't favor an answer, ignore it and it will be gone tomorrow and replaced by zillions of other questions and answers. I think it's really cool when someone PM's you with something nice to say, that always makes me feel good and I try to do that when an answer was pretty awesome.
Like the movie Bambi when Thumpers mom said "If you dont have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all", that should be the golden rule on here.
There are about 20 regulars on here that when I see their name I almost know that their answer will be very logical and informative, and then there's the ones that are not so good and I usually just chalk that up to immaturity.
Women are catty in their 20's and 30's and oh so competitive. When you turn 40 a light bulb goes off in your head and so much of what we thought was important becomes very silly and definitely was not worth stressing over. But you dont learn that till youre older unless you are O. to learn by others mistakes and the advice they want you to heed.

I just got done sending an apology to someone because of a comment that I left that caused a personal hate message in my inbox. If you disagree with someone's posting (as far as their parenting skills or technique) make sure to state it in a positive way. Even, if you think that they are borderline abusive. Personally, I want people to be completely honest with me. I wouldn't be on this site asking questions if I was perfect. I want to know if what I am doing is completely off the wall.

Hmmm....I try to give honest answers. Some people can't see the forest for the trees and it's pointless for me to point that out - they don't get it anyway.

I think that if a person posts a personal question and gets their panties all wadded up because some anonymous person disagrees or is nasty, then they have bigger problems than a message board can solve. I also think it is funny. So yes, you bunched-up panty people, I am laughing at you.

If I post, I know I will receive a variety of answers.

Of course it is also based on what I posted and what I included.

I have asked questions and had snarky replies, I of course ignore those. There is no need for the negativity or harping on a mistake or choice I made. I figure those people do not really care about my predicament and are not mature enough to answer with civility, why on earth would I follow their suggestion?

If it is well written and makes common sense. Yes, if it is different from what I first expected, I do seriously consider the suggestions.. If it is not well written I worry, I am not dealing with a person that is educated or not really informed.

Also if someone says they suggest a "natural " or prescribed solution, I do research it if I am considering it.

It is just like my friends in real life. The people that treat me with respect, who have sympathy and good suggestions, I continue to keep them around.. The people that are snarky, judgmental or belittling, I do not need that in my life..

just honest unless the poster asks for 'positive' only, then i don't respond. but bashers and capital-letter users, i always assume they're going through 'that time of the month.'
:)

I expect honest answers from the ladies here. I give honest, thought-out answers and I really do value other's point of view. Even if it doesn't support mine, I like to hear it.

I'm always looking for all sorts of answers. If I post a question it's only after doing my own research and trying everything I can think of, so I'm ready to hear others' tips and tricks.

The only answers that bother me are the condescending ones. It seems every time I post a question, usually O. person has to lecture me on some aspect of taking care of a baby, even if I've already said I do/don't do that in my post. It's like they're copy/pasting instructions and it comes off very pedantic. But for the most part I enjoy all the answers I get, even when they disagree with each other. That's the point, isn't it? You can read all the answers and form your own opinion.

Honest answers are the way to go. BUT....... and it's a BIG O., on this board their are many people who make assumptions or openly attack the original poster and that is totally uncalled for.

I think it's HILARIOUS when people think their personal opinion is the absolute truth about a situation that they only see a small slice of. If an opinion is stated as an opinion......that's fine, but some of the outright attacks on this board are sad.

Of course, I think a lot of people forget about Mamapedia's code of conduct. If we can express our disagreement within the site's guidelines, GREAT! If we can't......then that's our problem, not mamapedias.

Edit* Denise, I hope you don't feel like it's time to move on. I have enjoyed your answers on many topics. Please stay! :)

Yes. I expect honest answers.

When sending flowers, I'll often send a flower to someone who has a completely oposite opinion then I do, because they've been able to communicate a different point of view and perspective. Even though I may not agree with their opinion, I respect that they have a valid point.

I want honest answers. I would hope people would give them and the advantage is for the most part these aren't people you know so you can get an unbiased opinion from someone who doesn't have to "see" you. You also don't have to see them either so hesitation about being honest shouldn't be there. I would hope people would try and be polite though, which for the most part I think they are.

Is this is in reference to a particular question/answer? Anyhow, yes I am willing to hear honest opinions because I want an outside perspective and unbiased point of view. I do not believe and don't think most others believe- from the responses to questions I've read here- that we are supposed to echo or agree with what the asker is saying/asking/venting about.
Now i can take constructive criticism, but as far as bashing or insults I don't tolerate and called someone out when I had to. I wouldn't answer a question that way and don't expect to be answered like that either.

I expext honest answers, but I hate when your opinion becomes a lecture on how my whole question was wrong, and how I am doing somethign wrong and your way is right... No, and I hate when people are just rude, and go way off topic. i dont expect for you to agree with me, but dont try to push your opinions on me, and try to say what I should do, or need to do better.

I give honest answers.

I didnt read all the posts but I agree with Lynn L. When I ask a question on here sometimes it is because I need suggestions on something and sometimes it is because I want to know if I am only looking at a situation O. sided. So others opinions wether they differ or not from mine are always welcomed. But there is a difference between having a difference of opinion and just being rude, when someone has a different opinion and explains as to why it is way more beneficial then saying nasty comments just for the heck of it.
Example: a woman on here was asking a question about when other mothers who had children but were divorced introduced their children to the person they were seeing and how they knew it was the right time. She just happened to list the ages of her children. Her youngest was seven weeks old. People took such offense to her question and were calling her a horrible mother for even asking such a question with a little O. at home. O. woman took it upon herself to leave a nasty comment that she should learn how to be a better mother, put her kids first, "keep your panties on and your legs shut for a while"... what is helpful about that?... in my opinion nothing!
I have always welcomed others opinions, I dont think you can come on a site such as this and expect everyone to share the same point of view as you. But there is no need to take it above and beyond to an unnecessary level. I think that you can criticize but do it constructively.

i expect honest answers written with RESPECT to my opinion. i may not be on here asking about whether my opinion is right or wrong. i may be asking for alternative ideas. i'm sure not asking to be lectured or judged. if it is a truly honest answer, not rude, then yes, i am okay if it is a different perspective from mine. the problem is so many people seem to think that their way is the only way, and everyone else is wrong.

When I ask Mamapedia for answers, I expect honest answers. When you ask someone something, you know what comes out of their mouth is only going to be their opinion. And in the long run it is You that decides what route to take in your situation. We can only give advice and opinions.

Yes to a point I want honest answers. I am not "thick skined" as O. poster put it. I know I have no busness asking questions then, but non of my friends have kids so somethimes its nice to get answerns from people who have been there done that.

I think a lot of people stray from the questions asked, to be quite honest. Say you ask a question about using melatonin to help a child fall asleep. You might be asking in your title "Is Melatonin safe for a five year old?". You then might say in your question that your 5 year old is ADHD and your friend says she uses it with her son. Your answers may consist of several people actually telling you about their experiences with melatonin, at least a few that will tell you that your child is too young to be diagnosed with ADHD and several more that will tell you your child needs good nutrition, no sugar and a consistent bedtime routine. I find those that go out of their way to give an opinion that was not asked for obnoxious, preachy and often they are giving advice on things they have made incorrect assumptions on--how we came up with our ADHD diagnosis or that my child does not have a consistent routine. I now can let it slide off my back but I used to feel like "get the heck off my post if you aren't here to answer what I asked about!"

I expect honest answers BUT that are relative to the question I ask. If I ask for opinions on X, I am open to hearing them. If I ask a question about how to wean a child from a pacifier or the breast, do I want opinions on the choice I've made to wean or a lecture on the fact that my child is too old for a pacifier? Not really. I guess I honestly don't feel that simply by asking a question on this site validates anyone posting their personal judgments, thoughts or opinions on my topic. Yes, I want honest answers from other mothers who have weaned (or whatever) but not lectures from those who don't think I should. (This is just an example--actually I am huge breastfeeding mama). Or if I was to ask a question about handling my child with Sensory Issues, I am not opening up a forum or debate about whether Sensory Issues exist or if every child is different, everything is over-diagnosed etc. Maybe some feel the site is a place to debate every little thing and give opinions back and forth over every little thing. I guess I think of it as a place to get advice from moms who can suggest ideas or give tips---rather than just opinions. I am new to this site but this is the jist of what I have gotten from skimming around.

For me I post here to get honest answers. When I ask my friends/family I sometimes feel some of them anwer in a way that they think I want to hear. O. or two of them are honest and tell me "like it is", but when I post here it is objective - People don't know me, my past, my sitation...all they know is what I post.

I answer honestly and I hope poeple do the same. I'm also not rude or judgemental and hope people show the same repect. I found that the majority of people who are on here are great people who give honest opinions. They may not always agree with me, but they give their opinion and great advice and that's why I come on here!

I do want honest answers. I appreciate it if people are nice about it.

p.s.
I have noticed that some people think they are being attacked if anyones says anything other than "yes, you are correct/everyone should do as you do".

If I ask a question, I expect to hear all sorts of outside opinions coming from women with all different backgrounds. That's what I like about it, the open, honest, outside opinions... coming from people who cover the basis, and think about things that maybe I've overlooked or underthought.

That being said, there are some VERY rude women on here who judge, belittle, degrade, and give flat out ignorant answers... I can name a few, I've remembered their names because they're absurd answers stand out like a sore thumb!!

There are also women that I've come to rely on for their blunt and honest view on things... Suz T. and Laurie A. to name a few (thanks ladies!!)

I've also made some really good 'cyber friends' on here who are now also friends with me on facebook.

In life, you always have to take the good with the bad. When the good outweighs the bad, that gives me reason enough to stick around on here ;)

ROFL... that is what the "scroll" bar is for. Take what I like, leave the rest.

Seriously, however, when I ask... I'm asking. I want the full spectrum. I want the amazing women and men from all over the country, walks of life, religion, age ranges to share with me the wisdom of *their own* experience. Some of which, I may violently disagree with. My right. Just as their right is to have their own opinions.

What I DO like about this board is the "You're an idiot" type rants including such things as intelligence/ parentage/ and possible love life with barn animals is not allowed. O. thing I seriously DISlike, is how many VERY informative/ thought out posts get pulled because someone with an opposing view flags them.

But yah... when I ask.. I'm asking for other people's opinions. I'm not usually going to like EVERYONE on the planet, so why would I like all of their opinions? Not gonna happen. But more often than not, even things I disagree with radically, are informative / helpful. So when I'm asking a forum, that's what I'm doing... wanting honest answers. Whatever those answers may be.

$ on the table, though, betting this Q gets pulled. Sigh.

I like a like assertive debate myself. Because it forces me to think outside my own world. However, it doesn't need to turn into a catty chic fight either. Please, no hitting below the belt ladies. Let's make it a clean intelligent fight. = )

I expect honest answers, I usually will post just to see if I might not be looking at something as everyone else is. I also post honest answers. I think most posters respect that we have a huge range of personal opinions here. A good conversation comes from everyone being able to share that opinion openly and with out hostility or rudeness.

I am willing to hear honest answers. There is a difference though between and honest answer (and difference of opinion) and just beind downright rude and nasty.

I like honest answers even if they do not support me. I think honesty is the best policy. The only answers that annoy me at the bashing kind. Everyone has an opinion but you should still deliver it with respect. Keep it respectful and on subject and I am all for it.

I seek unbiased, honest opinions on my situation. I do think if you are going to reply, you should read the whole question so your reply is relevant. That said, it shouldn't matter if the opinion agrees or disagrees with the asker but they shouldn't be down right rude as I have seen. Additionally, the asker shouldn't in turn be rude because they didn't like the response they received.

When I post a question, I ask as if I'm asking friends, and expect honest answers. I would hope they would reply in a helpful manner, as opposed to hurtful, but know that it doesn't always happen (esp on the internet, when tone doesn't always come across).

For me, I'm more worried about communicating my question effectively, including all important details, etc, than worried about replies. That doesn't always happen (esp when I post from my cell phone, ugh), nor does everyone who replies correctly read the post.

EDITED to remove an extra word that was typed for no reason, and add a word somewhere else that was forgotten (happy birthday to me and my old age)!

you have to get a diffrent perspective to learn. I expect an honest answer if I dont agree with it I ignore it. what gets me is the rude answers that are like you need to be politically correct. I posted O. that asked about my sons licking phase and got "you have germs and it is inappropriate" But it is even grosser being the recipient that is why I was asking how to break him.
jmo

I think honesty is always desired. However, being a snatch about it isn't necessary. There's always a kind way to say what O. needs to say. I see a lot of judgemental women on these boards with holier-than-thou attitudes. I think sometimes other parents forget their poop does stink and other parents just need a nudge in the right direction rather than a foot to the face.

I have only had O. issue with O. response from O. of my posts. The mom made a nasty comment because she thought I was someone else. All she had to do was click on my name to read my other posts to see that I wasn't the same person. I called her out on it and she deleted her response. Other than that I have had great responses to my post. Both good and bad. Not all of them supporting my question but not everyone thinks the same.

Yeah I think honesty is important and tactfulness is too. Like I have really different views than what is the general consensus quite often. I am a PC person it's true, but I still have a strong mind and think what I think. So I try to say whatever it is in a positive way to lift the person up and encourage them. I guess you could say I try to speak the truth in love. I try to talk to the ladies on here just as I would a beloved friend who is going through a tough situation. Sometimes the responses I get do seem harsh to me. I try to take it all in stride bc everyone is not like me. We all have very different personalities and we all express ourselves differently. My husband is a very direct human being and I have learned from him that being blunt and direct doesn't mean he doesn't care, in fact quite the opposite!! Of course name calling, accusing, etc just aren't helpful at all. But I do think some brutal "honesty" is good at times. I can only answer based on my personality, which is an encourager, I always want a person to walk away lifted up. But some people are a hammer and that is what is needed sometimes too. We would all do well to recognize that we are all different and accept each other without getting defensive, myself included.

Of course if it done politely and respectfully.... not if we feel attacked :(

Honesty is great! But a lot of people don't know how to speak KINDLY while being honest.

Honest? Yes. Rude, judgemental, or mean? No.
I want to hear from all sides on a topic and I like the answers that are specific to their children. "My child x. I feared y. This is what we did. This is how it turned out."
I also like that you can report inappropriate posts especially sneaky salespeople . "I am so glad you want honest answers. My friends won't listen to me when I try to help them and it only costs a dollar to get rich..."

Absolutely give the honest answer, that's the whole purpose of this site, as a questioner looking for advice you have to be able to accept that you will get a wide array of opinions from this site. You just have to be able to get the helpful advice and ditch the non helpful ones, as far as the rude commenters trying to help, that's a whole different story and yes, that too, you have to learn how to ignore if you deem a comment to be rude, this is a public site and open to all, the kind, the helpful, the constructive and the rude ones "trying to be helpful".

I like honest answers so long as they really answer the actual question. Often I see people responding in a way that does not *really* address the question.

For example:
Q. What type of formula should I feed by baby? A. You should breastfeed your baby.
Q. How do you transition your baby from co-sleeping? A. You should never have co-slept in the first place.
Q. What type of noodle would you use in chicken noodle soup? A. Chicken Noodle Soup is bad for you.

Those answers would be applicable if the question was (even though I might not agree with the answers):
Q. Should I breastfeed or feed formula?
Q. Should I have co-slept or not?
Q. Do you think chicken noodle soup is good for the body?

Do you see what I mean? Opposing viewpoints are great, but not necessarily relevant to an original post.

hi
I definitely think you should take what you get... I see it this way.... why wouldn't peoples' answers be honest in the sense that they have no stake in a relationship with you, therefore, they would probably be more honest with you than families or friends (whom may not want to hurt your feelings) or are perhaps co-dependent.
I've seen a lot of upset people on here when they don't get the answers THEY want... or telling people ahead of time how they should respond.. My feeling is... you get what you get.. take it or leave it...
nothing on here is carved in stone... no O. says you have to believe or agree with everyone.

In my opinion, if you post a question, you should be grateful for the time that someone is willing to give to answer your question even if they don't answer it the way you want or expected, just so long as everyone is respectful towards O. another. I warn you that many moms do not feel this way. Just ignore or report them if they become too extreme.

I remember O. of my first questions here on the board..

“Staying warm for the coming winter...

Hi Moms,
My little girl will be almost a year old by the time winter hits. Here is my question... our house stays pretty cool during the winter - 60 degrees or so. Mainly because we love the cold and the house does not have central heating so the rooms get kind of chilly. I know that she will be alright with a blanket in the crib but is there other sleeping options that are available? Also - we prefer not to use space heaters.”

Here is O. of the responses I received:

“don't be so cheap, spend a little money on heat, life is short, comfort is important. this is your baby we are talking about! To be honest I am not too sure that the department of social services would not think it abusive or neglectful to keep the house so cold for a small child”

As you can tell she used the word “honest” in her reply and frankly, I found hers to be reply to be extremely offensive - honest, maybe in her eyes, but very insulting. The rest of the replies I received gave me great tips and advice – which was what I was looking for. And no, I was not worried about the expense of spending money as most of the advice I received was about spending money. I almost stopped posting after that reply but as a new mom with not too many other mom's to to to for advice/thoughts, I stuck with the board and I'm still here obviously =)

I am open to honest answers but I try to operate using this principle: Take what fits, and leave the rest. Meaning if someone answers without answering, or answers in a judgmental way, I'll move on and focus on the answers that are more helpfully written, even if they are not what I "want to hear." Some might disagree with this tactic, and that is fine--so far it has worked for me.

Exactly -- honest but respectful.

I have to agree with Littletomboys about how people just go off on a tangent. Some people just have an agenda. I posted for advice because my DD wakes too early in the morning. In describing our sleep arrangements I mentioned that we co-sleep and use a bottle as she is fairly recently adopted. Someone lectured me that adopted or not, we shouldn't be co-sleeping/giving a bottle. Hello? did she read any adoption literature, talk to adoption counselors etc? Because what we were doing was exactly what is recommended for bonding. Not only was her answer not the point of my post, but her opinion was misinformed.

i love honest answers, but sometimes people go out of their way to spread negativity, I honestly dont mind differing opinions, they dont even have to be classy about it.

I know what you mean -if you put something out there (especially if you reiterate that you want honest answers) and then get PO'd with people for giving them -I've seen lots of "So what happened" responses where the poster certainly had her feathers ruffled. I think that's contrary to the whole point of posting a question, situation,etc. and asking for advice. If you just want to have your ego boosted or feelings pumped up -then you should state that. I DO have issues with people when a person specifically has asked for religion or something like anti-views on homosexuality, etc. to be left out of comments -who then just MUST comment. Anyway -I agree -if you put it out there, don't get all ticked about the responses you get if they don't go the way you want them to!

Updated

I know what you mean -if you put something out there (especially if you reiterate that you want honest answers) and then get PO'd with people for giving them -I've seen lots of "So what happened" responses where the poster certainly had her feathers ruffled. I think that's contrary to the whole point of posting a question, situation,etc. and asking for advice. If you just want to have your ego boosted or feelings pumped up -then you should state that. I DO have issues with people when a person specifically has asked for religion or something like anti-views on homosexuality, etc. to be left out of comments -who then just MUST comment. Anyway -I agree -if you put it out there, don't get all ticked about the responses you get if they don't go the way you want them to!

The ability to be annonymus here is what gets me to ask my questions in the first place so of course i want diverse answers.
I do want people to read my question carefully, stick to the topic, and be polite. I realized that i have said " i hope this doesn't spark a big debate" but the reason i say that is because i want people to focus on what i am asking not go off on tangents that won't really help me.

I don't happen to know what posts you are referring to, so over all my opinion here is that most people that ask or respond here are pretty nice, mostly smart and sure do love their kids alot.

edited to say, that i like alot of the answers you have given since i've been on here ( I haven't agreed with 100 percent of them) but you are articulate and make some great points. I hope you don't leave.

Polite, respectful works. But honest needs to be the main point. I've contradicted a few comments, not out of being difficult, but they are my real-life opinions. There is no cookie-cutter answer to any situation. People are too different. But the more various advice offered, the greater a wealth of knowledge we ALL have.

I love honest answers, opinions and feedback. I don't like it when people judge my motives, though. I'm careful to ask only questions that won't leave me vulnerable for feeling attacked...LOL I hate that.

Every now and then someone goes off on a rant. They sound judgemental and like they have something to prove. As long as you say your opinion in a kind way then their answer is appreciated. If they make the questioner feel bad, then they are wording it wrong in my opinion! But definitely I think ALL opinions are welcome!

I'm glad you posted this. It really irritates me when people ask a question and then get pissed when you don't give them the advice they are looking for. I have seen some women get really nasty with their comments I saw the same response as KM did on O. question.

Updated

I'm glad you posted this. It really irritates me when people ask a question and then get pissed when you don't give them the advice they are looking for. I have seen some women get really nasty with their comments I saw the same response as KM did on O. question.

I expect the question or issue to be addressed. Often times, I feel like I've "kicked the hornet's nest" (as I was told privately LOL). The purpose of questions is to get feedback, when posters say YOU too often and deviate from the purpose of the post. I think the focus is not on the question/issue when YOU is the lead in. Some of us just want answers, not character attacks, or ASSumptions about our character or what people think we did or did not do or say.