Home School.. or Regular School....

At this age, you have NOTHING to loose! In MN, kids don't have to be in "school" until they are 7. So give homeschooling a try! Even if it doesn't work, you can put her in school next year at 6 years old.

This may be just what she needs to stabilize her "world" especially with all the trauma in her life. Kids do NOT need to be in a classroom to socialize or learn! Most kids don't even learn that well that way! (Most need hands-on learning!) And that's something you will be able to provide along with individualized attention. My kids get a ton of socializing through story time at the library, moms group, and just going to the playground!

Hi M.,
First of all, I am sorry about the difficulties you are going through with your daughter. Homeschooling is a nice and good option for your little one. At this age is so easy to home school. I homeschool my kids and it works very well!
With a 4 year old girl, I suggest you start slowly without too much schedule or pressure, teaching her by having fun together. At this age, they don't have a lot of attention span so work with her an hour or two hours everyday at most (sometimes less) and depending on how you see her, you may want to add more time to the "school hours".
You don't need a pre-made curriculum already, use resources like the library and the internet, and especially your imagination. Start with numbers, letters, shapes, time, read to her A LOT.
Seat down with her and listen the music she likes,kids songs or something nice. Count cheerios, stickers, anything wherever you go and at home.
Draw, color, and paint together if the weather is nice, put a table and do this outside for an hour, she will love it. Grow a flower or a tomato plant together and teach her how they grow.
take her to the park or if you have a chance join a home school group with kids of her age, she will love to have interaction with new friends!
Watch TV together (shows like Clifford, Thomas, etc) and then talk about it. Ask her a couple of questions and laugh about what the cartoons did, etc...
The Library is an excellent resource, read to her, let her see the pictures and talk about the story. Also there are story times for pre-schoolers.
As you see there is a LOT of things to do for her and with her.
M., she is little and she is going through a difficult situation, so do things and teach her one day at a time, little by little. She will ALWAYS learn something, your are her mom and her best teacher !
Good luck and if you need more help, just send me a private message. I will be H. for you.

M.,

Your daughter has been through the worst possible scenario - losing a parent. Switching schools is nothing compared to what she has been through. I am opposed to home schooling (unless someone lives in a bad/unsafe school district). I feel that children should be in a classroom setting learning/socializing with other children. Even though your daughter doesn't like change, kids are resielient - I promise!! Again, she suffered the loss of her father, so she will definately get through the loss of switching schools.

Yes, definitely homeschool her! I am slightly biased--I am currently homeschooling our two children--but we really love it and I think my kids are much better off homeschooling than being in a classroom not learning anything all day long.

We started homeschooling our kids a year ago, and we moved a few months after we started. We moved at the end of April, so we took a month of off their schooling to move and get settled in. We started up part-time schooling over the summer and then went back into full-time schooling in September. The great thing about homeschooling is it gives you the flexibility that regular school doesn't; if you work during the day, you can teach her in the evening, you can teach her on weekends, whatever works for you. You can try to find a homeschooling group in your area to make connections with other families and find others with children your age. Socialization is not a problem; you can easily have her socialized through play dates and field trips with other homeschoolers, classes at the YMCA or other classes with kids her age.

Homeschooling has been great for us, and I think it would be great for your daughter until you get settled in one place (or just keep on homeschooling her if you like it). It would definitely be a great option for her so that she doesn't have to go through the issues of changing schools and teachers (because you would be her teacher). In California, you don't have to worry about filing paperwork for your child until she is six, because kindergarten isn't required. California Homeschool Network is a state-wide homeschooling organization whose website (californiahomeschool.net) has some helpful links and even local contacts for different areas in CA.

Feel free to send me a message if you have more questions; homeschooling has been a positive experience for us and I'd be glad to help you in any way I can. Good luck! :-)

Hi M., While I do not do homeschool I have many friends who have done this for years. I think if your daughter is going through so much than if you feel it is right for you go for it. There are many options these days for homeschooling. Since she is still so young what about check with your school district and see about headstart. Maybe she would qualify for 4 days a week of preschool first. Or Try online schools, more and more schools are giving that as a option. The kids get a computer and work with a teacher online. Do what is right from you. You will get both sides talking up their side, but this is a very specific question that you will see is about yours and your daughters needs.
I have a son with Asperger's/ Premature issues and we have done public school up to 4th grade. I am very grateful to all his teachers for giving him a great education and keeping him on a great learning journey. But I am looking at bringing him home for 6th grade and middle school. He is a good one on one and we are still in debate what to do. You are not alone!!
She is still young too, so take off the next year if you feel the need. It seems like a lot of kids in my sons kindergarden class were closer to 6 then 5. Maybe the extra time will allow you to get on your feet. Blessing to you and your daughter!

Hey M.,
I'm so sorry you're going through all this. It is very difficult. I think your gut feeling is right on: Switching schools/getting used to a conventional school is too much for your daughter while your family is adjusting to change. That was the main reason I began homeschooling 11 years ago, and I've never looked back.
My husband left when my kids were 4, 2 and 6 months. We were also going through other very difficult events, and I could not see putting my oldest child into a strange setting on top of everything else. In retrospect, I am SO glad I chose to keep them home. They are doing really well, and I've never once regretted this decision.
Don't be intimidated by the idea of educating your daughter. You have plenty of time to learn what method works best, and there is a wealth of support and information out there for homeschoolers. You could start by looking on hslda.org, the organization that did so much to help homeschool become a legally accepted, mainstream option. More single parents are homeschooling, too. There are many ways to make it work. Just take one day at a time, doing your research and finding the support you need.
I write a blog to provide Biblical encouragement for single parents who homeschool. It's mainly reflections on lessons I learn, but I'm planning to add some practical helps and ideas for single parents. Here's the link:
http://latenightsandlatin.blogspot.com/
God bless, and I hope everything goes well for you and your daughter!
L.

I must admit, I like the benefits the children get going to school as opposed to being homeschooled. On the other hand, I have some neighbors who homeschooled their children and it worked for them.

Homeschoolers always talk about how they are able to do so many more things (like go to museums, travel, etc.) with their children. I think it depends more on the values of the family -- we go to museums more than anyone I know! We were never turned away from a musuem because we weren't homeschoolers.

I don't think I would have been able to keep up with the courses in middle school and high school -- I don't remember all that physics, calculus and chemistry! I'm such a terrible speller, I'd be a poor role model!

I went to different schools for kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade. It is much easier to change schools at that age than in middle school or high school. A friend of mine was just saying the other day that since she was a "Navy Brat" they were always moving. She said it helped her socially when she started college. It was easier for her to adapt than some of her friends.

Dealing with the loss of her father must be difficult. You say she has a great "auntie" who can help you out. If you move, will she still be available?

No matter what you decide, you can make it the right decision for your family. Good luck!

So sorry M. for yours and your daughter's loss. I would check with the kindergarten closest to you to see if they will let you modify her schedule. Maybe let her stay for 30 minutes to an hour a day. Then she may slowly get used to it. I know you may move but at least she will slowly be able to see that not all changes are bad or have to be difficult.
You would also have access to the school curriculum the other kids are doing. If you look online, you can find requirements that kids are supposed to know before they leave kindergarten.
If you decide to homeschool, there are books to trace letters and numbers at almost any dollar store. Also, Ale told you about story hour at the library. That helps get kids used to sitting at circle time.
There are also co-op pre-schools where the cost is cheap if the parent stays and works there a certain amount of time per week.
Whatever you choose to do, make it fun. There are educational cds with learning numbers and letters songs etc. Plant seeds, teach her how they grow. There is a lot you can do. Good luck to you.