Holiday Traditions - Island Lake,IL

I know you don't want people over, so you might not like this idea. But we do this tradition and LOVE IT! We invite family over for opening Christmas gifts and breakfast on Christmas morning. I set out everything the night before and everyone comes over in their p.j.s. It's very laid back and low stress. You could just serve coffee and coffee cake - keep it very simple.

I make pigs in a blanket every Christmas morning. And sometimes some muffins. I put them on a special Santa plate on the coffee table in the living room along with some bananas. That way we can snack while we stare at the tree and wait for everyone to get up.

Yes, it's gonna be an issue. But it's also what happens to most families when they start having kids. So I would suggest you find some compromises. First, don't get so crazed with all the gifts that you are exhausted. Find some time to spend with your parents and his parents at other times. Maybe Christmas Eve at one house, and Christmas Day at your own house. Next year, Christmas Eve at the other parents' house, and Day at your house. Maybe someone can come for dessert in the afternoon, or the following day. Not sure how far apart everyone lives, but if you can find a way to include them without cutting everyone out cold turkey, it will make your lives easier. On some level, it will help to create memories for your kids too. If Christmas becomes a just-your-family event with no extended family because you are too overworked, then it's not going to make you happy in the long run either. See if you can save a few days off for just beforehand so you have some down time, and try to get your shopping and wrapping done way in advance so December isn't a track meet.

You deal with your family, and your husband deals with his family. If you tell your in-laws that you aren't going there, YOU will be the bad guy. Make it about the kids getting overstimulated in big crowds and not ever having their own traditions in their own home. Hauling all that baby gear, trying to put kids down for a nap in a strange bed, etc. etc. Make it clear that you love your parents/in-laws but need to start your own traditions just as they have developed theirs.

Try to figure out ways to give the grandparents the experience of seeing their grandchildren open gifts. Perhaps do one gift (or 2) from the grandparents on Christmas Eve, then Christmas morning becomes about stuff from Santa and stuff from the parents. Take pictures and email them, or do a short video and send it to them. At an early age, teach your children to write thank you notes (okay, not for the 5 month old, but the 2 year old can be asked for a comment or two, and then you write it verbatim to the grandparents with a little bit of crayon marks from the child!).

Find something fun to do, a tradition to start, so that the holiday isn't just, for you, about avoiding everything! Make sure you have fun things to look forward to. Some families give the kids their own ornament each year, thereby expanding their collection of memories. As the kids get older (and the 2 year old can do something small now), have them make decorations (either for the tree or the house in general). Date them with a sharpie marker in a hidden place, or in the case of a hand-drawn picture, laminate it or frame it. Bringing those things out every year helps to create warm thoughts and memories.

Good luck with this! It's a tough transition but hopefully the grandparents will remember what it was like for them when their kids got to a certain age.

On Christmas Morning we go downstairs in our PJs (usually Christmas or winter themed). We don't tear into the gifts right away...my hubbie and I get our coffee in hand and make sure all the cameras are ready. The kids pass out the gifts and then we open - taking turns and taking our time. First we open our stockings, then we open the gifts from Santa then the rest.

I don't like when everyone tears into the gifts in a frenzy of paper and chaos. After we open them we clean up the mess and make breakfast. I usually make something we would never eat on a normal day - junk food basically - like Monkey Bread (easy and you can do it the night before) or some other pastry.

After breakfast it's time to play with our new toys. But then I must start getting ready for the houseful of guests that show up at 1:00.

I understand your feelings about having a down day to relax with your family, and sometimes I really crave that too. But looking back at pictures of holidays with my extended family, too many of which have passed..., I'm so grateful for those times and memories. It is a lot of work, especially with the young ones. So my immediate family goes to my Moms on Christmas Eve, then the extended family comes to my house on Christmas Day - although this is new for me because my aunt who hosted Christmas Day for 35 years passed last year...

More than me, one year my husband really wanted to stay home. I began telling people, who volunteered that they would come (which was a surprise since our house is small and we only have one bathroom). We ended up with twenty two people I think. We moved all the furniture into the garage and just put up tables. Point is Christmas is about family, and you just see your family as the whole picture. My husband and I did, too and since there are other days off perhaps make that particular day YOUR Christmas but still share the actual day with others. I know how hard that feels, but you might first let everyone know that you want your own Christmas but go slow turkey (no pun intended). Perhaps this year your in laws could come for desert or something to your house. It isn't easy to break traditions, there are six adult children who all have begun to have separate holidays over the years and to tell you the truth I miss the big group and often still wish 'to Grandmother's house' we still go. We are now about to approach Thanksgiving without one of my sons who was recently married and believe it or not you may be there too one day as your children grow up. They leave. And for your husband's family you are initiating that step that is so painful for inlaws.I am not excited about this but my son is going to see his in-laws in another state. And ouch, it will be lonesome without him after he spent several years in the service but I spent a lifetime with him trying to create these wonderful memories. I set out to tell you to just let 'emhave it straight out but realize this is a pretty hard thing to do, particularly so soon in the approach of the season. Perhaps you should try for next year to do this. And I would also talk to your own family. They might still want the hustle and bustle. I totally relate to your work schedule and wanting down time, but I also think it could make a big breech in a family who sounds like they are solid and united. Good luck. Tough decision.

I remember having those same thoughts some years ago when my kids were tiny. I am glad I didn't make to big a deal out of it because now I wouldn't want to miss out on the sharing of Christmas with all of our family :). It can be difficult to juggle all the celebrations but the fun times we all have with our family is absolutely worth it. My advice would be to scale back right now since your life is so hectic but spend some time with other family members on Christmas day. Use other days off for your family down time. We do 2 different family celebrations on Christmas Eve and then on Christmas Day the kids wake up early and open all the presents from us...off to church and then a blended family celebration at our house so the kids can show off their new stuff and play :) Best wishes for a wonderful and blessed Christmas in 2011!

Its a pre-christmas tradition at our house but Elf On the Shelf is a HUGE huge hit! For christmas morning we wake up and open 1 santa gift then have monkey bread and orange julius with our egg bake. Then open the rest of the gifts. Our gift tradition from US to the kids so that we don't go overboard with them is...1.Want, 1. Need, 1. Wear and 1 Read item. Plus they get one big thing from santa and a stocking full of little items.

I was raised Catholic though now I am Wiccan. My favorite 2 traditions are baking cookies especially the cut out cookies from scratch. I remember a few times I made 6-7 dozen cut-out cookies and no 2 were the same. My other favorite thing was going to see the pretty lights. Driving around and seeing how people decorate their yard and houses. It's really cool when neighborhoods select a theme and everyone bases their decorations on that theme.

As far as the in laws are concerned tell them you can get together the weekend before or after. I worked in retail for years and by the time Christmas day rolled in all I wanted to do that day was sleep and watch TV. My kids went to their dad's or SO's family and I said fine I will make a nice dinner sometime between December 20 and Janurary 10 and we can get together and exchange gifts. My kids are still Christian and we combine our holiday.

I will also say my former MIL was a real PAIN IN THE A$# when it came to Christmas. My B day is Dec 24 and she actually told my parents that, that was good enough for them she wanted us to spend Christmas with her, EVERY year

one of our traditions is on Christmas Eve everyone opens one gift the gift is always new pajamas so that everyone has on nice matching pajamas in the Christmas morning pictures.

I loved it when my kids were little we would go to my Mom's in laws, My Dad's, The Inlaw's on Christmas Eve , My Grandma and Grandpa's, My Aunt and Uncle's, My other Aunt and Uncle's then on Christmas Morning we would open our gifts at home as a family and then go to my Sister's and have dinner and open gifts later that day. Christmas is about Family and to me that is the whole family. Now we have Christmas with my Dad on Christmas eve day, then Christmas Morning we fix a huge breakfast for our kids and Grandkids (sausage gravy, biscuits, bacon, chipped beef and gravy, toast, pancakes, hash browns, and sausage, coffee, juice) and open gifts then later that day we go to my sisters for dinner and gifts. I love hosting get togethers. I love all of the chaos around the Holidays but I do admit I like to stay home for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. Everyone has their own traditions so you have to do what you feel comfortable doing and want to do that is how traditions start. I also make cookies with the Grandkids before Christmas they love doing that. Good Luck

First - kudos to you on realizing that you don't need or have to travel to be with family over the holidays! I am in the process of doing that myself, and it is not an easy thing to do when inlaws and siblings look at you like you've shot an arrow through their heart and say you're crazy. (I've had the MIL say she'd pay for 4 airline tickets for us to fly so we could be together. Last time we flew, we were delayed and should have gotten there by noon - it was 9pm when we finally arrived, and without 2 of our 4 bags. Kids were a wreck. I was stressed, and the husband was in the worst mood ever. Uh, no thanks.

I think you have the trump card already with your kids. They're very young, and who likes to travel with kids? Also, they need to know what it's like to wake up in their own home and see that Santa came through THEIR chimney and spend those special moments with you and your husband. It shouldn't be you worrying about making sure other relatives have a front row seat to your joy and your photo ops or making them breakfast. Sorry if I sound crabby, but I've been there, and done that, and MY Christmas was miserable, because I was waiting hand and foot on everyone else. I got to see one Christmas through pictures because I was never in the room. It sucked big time.

I would just tell your inlaws and family in a nice, respectful manner that this year you are doing Christmas day just the 4 of you. Offer dates when you would like to get together with them to share presents or dinner or whatever - that way you're making an effort to see them. Maybe even suggest doing a day after Christmas dinner and either have it at your house so the grandparents can see the kids and their toys, or go out to eat and come back to your house for dessert. That way no one feels left out.

We open one present on Christmas Eve, and we always do our stockings last. Not sure why, it's just always been this way.

Good luck!

It will be an issue. I love getting together with my family so for my daughters 1st christmas at 1 month old I just packed her up and we were out of there. This is a good time to spend with her cousins and to get spoiled and dotted on. It also gives me a little rest from hearing Mommy, mommy for a little while.

If you do go Christmas just go for a couple of hours and not stay all day. Get there in time for dinner. After dinner sit and have conversation for an hour and then tell them the kids want to play with their toys before bedtime and leave.

My Aunts family has a Christmas Eve dinner with her in laws. They have been doing this forever. Everyone takes a turn hosting dinner. I forgot how many of them there are but she hasn't hosted in about 5 years. They have dinner and open gifts and they also put on Christmas plays. This is mainly for the kids. My cousin's have always loved this and are excited for Christmas Eve. Of course they are adults now but every year they plan the party. I was always envious of their event.

I think traditions are a way to stay connected to family. Everyone is busy now but Christmas is just one time a year. Will it really hurt to go to your in laws?

i dont mean to sound ignorant by any means. But i have 2 children and my husband and i have no in laws to celebrate the holidays with. it is awful. my family's side doesnt celebrate the holidays and his side doesn't care enough about anyone to have anything at all. ive tried to have christmases at my house with everyone but it never works out. it would be a dream come true to be able to celebrate the holidays will r whole family. not even exchange presents but just spend time with one another. it is never a no go. so please appreciate what you have. i day spend with just your kids and maybe the next day spend with family

I would tell them that you are availabe to come visit Christmas Eve but plan to spend Christmas at home.

We get up Christmans morning and open presents. While my son goes back to bed (he's 20 and keeps vampire hours) and my daughter plays, my husband fixes breakfast and I start prepping dinner. We relax and enjoy each other and our gifts the rest of the day. I will say that we tell the family they can stop in if they want to. Some do, some don't. Any planning to be here for dinner tell me so in advance.

you deserve some rest with work and a 2yo and a 5 mo. Jess gave great advice to not make a big deal. In a few more years they will be more than ready to hit the road to collect more gifts at other houses by lunch time.

Your 2 yo will be so excited. When the kids wake up one of us runs downstairs, starts the coffee and turns on the Christmas tree lights and music while the kids wait at the top of the stairs. We get the video camera going to capture their excitement when they come down the stairs and see the tree.

We open our gifts and experience the joy of giving and receiving. After that yours will be ready for a morning nap. We usually go to Mass Christmas Eve so we have the morning to eat a special breakfast - cinnamon rolls or a fritatta - whatever is easy to prepare the night before and jsut stick in the oven. We also always make sure there is one big toy the kids can play with all morning. At your kids age it is was a big kitchen with fake food and miniature dishes and pots and pans. My kids played with it that morning and didn;t stop for years!

Before breakfast, they usually check out Santa's "empty" cookie plate and their full stockings. Don't buy a lot, they'll get tired of opening gifts after the first one. Enjoy the fact that they just might play with the box for 45 minutes and enjoy that it was free!

Christmas is about family but it's also about the kids and you have the right to want to enjoy some time with just your kids and hubby. They need to understand that.
One of the traditions I started was making ornaments. The kids and I make ornaments every year and we keep one for us and give the rest as presents to the grandparents and aunts/uncles. It's fun. I started when they were young and it was a challenge but it gets easier and more fun every year.