"Holding It"

Hi
My baby girl is just 4 1/2 months old and I have not had to go through situation you have had to go through and just wanted to say hang in there he will do better!
J.

My son would hold it to when he was potty training, but he'd never do it on the floor, just in the diaper if he did go. I was worried that he'd get sick from holding it so I took him to his ped.And he prescribed enema.

I can reinforce what others have said; both my daughter and my son did not get potty trained until right at 3. My daughter would hide under the dining room table or go on the porch. I was always positive about her going on the potty and did not get upset about the pooping on the floor, but it definitely got old and we did clean the carpets after she finally got potty trained. I read her The Princess and the Potty every night for about 3 months. Also, Miss Piggy's diaper book.

With both kids, the final factor in getting them both potty trained with no diapers or accidents was SOCIAL. Once my daughter started pre-school part-time and my son started going to my friend's house 3 hours a day (she had a 4 year old who was already trained) the potty training was instant.

I have heard that it is harder if they have a younger sibling still in diapers and they are trying to be babylike to get attention, or if they are going to daycare and around a lot of other kids with diapers.

I will say that I think if you are being super relaxed and positive about it, even the poopy on the floor, that once they get trained, they will be trained and you will remember the crinkly sound of the diapers and touching your baby's skin so often for changes with nostalgia. I get a little misty eyed when I change my friend's baby nowadays, because I am never going to change my own babies' diapers again...My son still asks me to wipe his bottom sometimes though...haha....

Hi K.,

Don't have a lot to add, but it sounds like you got some good sound advice to start with. The only thing that I might add is possibly buying a "table top" type toy that he's only allowed to play with when he sits on the potty. Give him a stool softener or add fiber to his diet and then ask him every day to "play" while sitting on the potty. Once he's there and comfortable, he may go on his own accord. And if he notices that it doesn't hurt, he'll be more likely to continue going.

Hope this helps a bit. As for the playgroups, I can't really help you much. I live quite a distance from you, but you can certainly check with the local churches. Many of them offer some kind of playgroups or pre-school.

Hey K.,

My son would always go in a corner or behind a piece of furniture and we would only know he was going when we saw him doing this.
My son also took up until he was 2mths after his third birthday to potty train/thanks to his school we pee and poo on the potty Now. But my advice to you is ignore him and let him get more comfortable with him self. If he is hiding just act like you don't see him. Leave him be because this is probably the only way you will keep him from becoming constipated. He will eventually go on the potty himself or you will know when he is ready to do it. Don't keep at him because the hand out the doctor gave me on this situation was that, him holding it in is their way of being in control. When parents constantly tell them to go on the potty, they feel like they are no longer in control. The hand out said for "Mommy and Daddy to sit him down ONE LAST TIME and tell him that your sorry for asking him to go to the potty all the time and that it is his turn to know when he has to potty and IT IS UP TO HIM NOW. (Making this the last time you remind him.) If he has to go then he will have to do it by him self because mommy and daddy will not ask him to go again." Well that is what the hand out said to do and I tell you I did that but your personal instinct is to always ask so I found my self catching my "do you need to go potty". He finally just did it by his self! I talked with several moms that said their BOYS didn't go until they were almost three or after they turned three. Hope this helps I know it is allot! A. www.busymomsworkathome.com

I sounds as if he's constipated. My son had the same problem as yours, but it got so bad that we had to take him to a urologist and have an ultrasound (he was having peeing issues as well). She showed me the US and explained that the longer he holds it, the bigger it gets, and then the colon expands to hold the bigger stool which makes it hurt like mad when they do poop. Then he had diarrhea the rest of the day. Not fun.

You should get your doctor's advice, but what the urologist told me was to clean him out and then give him fiber daily. She prescribed stool softener and enema (yea, right, that didn't happen). Once he emptied out, he was given on Metamucil apple cookie a day for fiber and we've never had another problem.

Good luck, I hope this helps. :)

I have a niece who had done the same thing. When she finally went to the potty, it would hurt her to poop and sometime it had to be cut up to even be flushed! The Dr. prescribed a stool softner and it helped quite a bit. But the main reason she didn't go when it was time was because she was afraid it was going to hurt. Hope this helps.

There is a book called 'Everyone Poops', not sure of the author, and I picked it up from my daughters' daycare Scholastic book fair. Just wanted to see if it would help your situation; it's quite a comical book that helps toddlers realize that 'Everyone Poops' and they are not lone rangers w/ going poopy.

Good luck.
M.