My son is a June birthday, he started kindergarten at 5.1 years old. Academically he is doing well. There is some concern over his attention. He is also small for his age and on the sensitive,. immature side. I think I have made the decision that it would be best for him to repeat Kindergarten. My problem now is that I do not know if I can just choose to do that? or if the school has to agree? And most importantly his sister will also be starting Kindergarten next year and I do not have the same concerns for her, so they would be in the same grade though a year apart in age. Has anyone else experienced this? Any problems you've encountered? Thanks
just wanted to add: He is the youngest and smallest in his class. He is a head shorter than boys his own age. Many of the kids are held back and start the year they turn 6 (in our area, I was just not aware this was the practice). I think his peers in K next year will also be his age, he will just be on the older end and not the younger end. Plus we will be moving, so if not next year, the year after, so he will not be in school with the kids he originally started K with for his whole elementary experience. Thanks for all the responses, it is really helpful!!
At my Daughter's school, a Parent 'can' request their child repeat Kinder.
I would though, talk with is Teacher and see what her thoughts are on it.
all the best,
Susan
Holding back is not a good educational strategy, it may feel like the right thing, but if he has learning or attention issues, you may be setting him up for academic failure. before you make this decision, log on to WWW.wrightslaw.com scroll down the left side of the page, and click on retention. you will read about good educational strategies that really help kids with theses issues. I am an educational advocate, and many of the kids I try to help have been held back, and the results can be devastating. find out why this may put him st a disadvantage.
The school will probably gladly let you hold him back, because for them, it is much cheaper to educate him for another year, and never have to help him with any targeted intervention, wick is expensive, and which he may never qualify for, if you mask his issue with age. Please read all the articles on wrightslaw about retention. It is almost always a mistake to hold back for what you describe., I see it all the time.
I would make an appointment with a developmental pediatrician, and keep him with his peers so that he qualifies for help if he needs it, and if he does not need help, he does not need to be held back either.
M.
You are in a tough situation; mainly because of his sister. Go talk to the teacher first. Find out how she feels he is doing. Let her know that you think he should be retained and why. If she agrees with you, the school will have a process to retain him. If she does not, go speak to the principal.
You are smart to be concerned now when it is easier to retain or provide assistance without the children feeling so invaded by it. I have a very immature son and because academically he is above grade level, I can't retain him, but his immaturity is killing him socially and with his classroom conduct.
If the school works with you to have both children in the same grade, you are going to have to 'talk it up' so that both of your children feel good about it.
I would not hold him back. If it is truly an attention problem holding him back
will not achieve anything.
I had a girl friend in highschool that her older brother was in the same grade. She said until Jr. High it was not a problem since her parents made sure they were never in the same class. In Jr. High and High School no teasing as he was almost 6ft tall in Jr. high and well over 6ft in high school he did say that he got tired of explaining to people that he and his sister were not twins, and that neither of them were adopted etc. He would just have to broadcast to everyone he was heldback in Kindergarten. They would make sure they did not end up in the same classes, but at this grade everyone would eventually find out.
If you had decided to delay his kindergarten entry last year and not started him, he would have started with his sister this year any way. So I'm not sure why that is an issue. Depending on how big your school is, they could be in different classes. If you decide to have him repeat, it would probably be best to do so in a different school so he isn't with kids he was with last year, and a new school will probably have a different curriculum so he won't be bored. Our school has kindergarten conferences in May each year so we can discuss these issues with the teacher. You should share your concerns with her and get her opinion.
wouldnt his attention be worse next year, repeating the same material he just did? I wouldnt hold him back if he's doing well academically, but that's just me.
Can you homeschool them? You could so easily just teach them in tandem, the same things together. They would never know to think that there might be anything wrong with this (and there isn't!). It sounds like your son is right on track for a 5 year old boy. Feel free to PM me if you have more questions. It looks like we live in the same area! I'd be happy to offer suggestions if this sounds remotely like something you would want to try.
I am going through the same issue as you except my daughter already finished Kindergarten and my son already finished 1st grade. He is the smallest and youngest boy...def. the most immature, least attention etc.
Did you decide what you are going to do? I am so torn!!
So putting him in the same grade as his younger sister would help him? Boys mature slower then girls and chances are, he will always be the smallest kid in the class whether you hold him back or not! Holding kids back that are acedimically ready is a disaster. Notnonly do they not "grow up" because they are with younger less mature kids, but they get bored! If I were you, I would rethink that decision.
If he is doing well academically in school, then I wouldn't recommend holding him back just because he is small and his attention. I believe the teachers can help out by trying to keep his attention and give you ideas on how to help. The size shouldn't matter and it would definitely not be good to your sons self esteem to hold him back. If you still decide to hold him back then beware to have the fight and struggle the rest of him growing up. Good luck in trying to make the best possible decision for your son not because of his size.
Talk to his teacher and see what she thinks. If he is doing well academically it may cause problems next year if he feels bored. At the same time I have a friend who held back her son because he was one of the youngest in his class ( late August Birthday) was immature, and not able to stay on task. He was picking up things academically but they decided based on his personality it would benefit him to hold him back. It has been a wonderful choice for him. He loves being one of the older kids, is helpful to the "younger" kids, and due to him being a little older gets along with the kids much more. It has also been a great boost to his confidence. I cant add anything about having a younger sibling in the mix though as that he has an older brother. My friend made this choice with also in mind how I had a hard time being the youngest in my class and socially I had a very hard time in school. While school is about learning a social hell can effect how you learn. Again talk to the teachers. Good luck.
How humiliating for him. That's all I can think of. Being in the same grade as his little sister is hard to swallow for a boy.
If he is not smart enough to be in the class in, say May, then I might see the importance of holding him back. But if he's just smaller then who cares? One of the best guys and smartest in my high school was only 5' tall, he grew a bit after high school but is still short. He is a preacher and has a huge congregation that adores him. Size is not really important.
It is horribly hard on kids to be held back, they hear what you say and then think "I'm stupid", "I don't get to be with kids my age because something is wrong with me"...no matter how many times you tell him differently he will internalize that he failed. My grandson that is now 12 was held back in Kindergarten due to his dad never getting him to school on time. He was late nearly every day of the school year. Every 3 tardies counted as 1/2 day missed so at the end of the school year he had way too many abscesses to be allowed to go into 1st grade. he still says something was wrong with him and it was his fault he flunked. Even though he has been told over and over it was his dad's fault.
If he plays sports he will be with kids his age and the kids he is in class with will not be his team mates, they will be in a different age group. It goes on and on.
If the new school has a transitional first grade then I would say if they evaluate him and think he would do well in that class then he should do that. He'll still be in first, learning both Kindergarten stuff over and also some first grade stuff too. Then they will evaluate him at the end of the school year and decide if he goes on to second grade or goes into regular 1st grade.
Talk to your son's school because laws vary by state and policies vary by district. Do what is best for your son in the long run even if that means a sibling in the same grade. I wouldn't make a decision just yet, a lot can change in just a few months. Find out what your options are though.
