Highly Sensitive Child

Updated on September 10, 2011
K.M. asks from Parker, CO
7 answers

Hi there! I was wondering if anyone out there has a child that can be considered "a highly sensitive child"? In my never ending quest to figure out what is "wrong" with my son, one of his teachers mentioned this today. My son has some autistic qualities (stimms, has a hard time socially until he warms up, has SPD), but I have never been able to get an autism diagnosis (would love the funding this would open up for us). My son picks up on other peoples emotions very easily, will tell me when someone is sad in the store, will tell me when I am sad or angry or will point out if someone is very happy etc. He also has a hard time with new places for example he loves his swim classes and loves when we go to open swim at the swim class pool but we took him to a new pool yesterday and he had a hard time with it, also has been having a hard time adjusting to school this year but his teachers said that he is starting to be more involved and is branching out becoming more social. So I have barely started to looking into this highly sensitive child thing but it kind of makes sense for my son. He gets so worried about my emotions after he drops something or does something else he knows he should not he will just keep saying be happy mom, be happy. I was just wondering if anyone else out there has a child like this and what they have done to help them etc...He has his 4 year old check up soon and I was going to ask his ped if maybe he should see a psycologist or something but was wanting some input from some real life people.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for your repsonses. I like that my son is sensitive to other peoples emotions but right now I feel he is really struggling. He is stimming a lot which really affects his focus and I was hoping maybe a psychologist could help with that because his teachers thought there may be some anxiety involved with him too. I definitely had anxiety as a kid I always worried that there was going to be a fire in the house and I even worried about famers when there was a drought, and this is when I was like 6 or 7. I also had anxiety attacks in high school. He really struggles with new situations and places and that makes it hard for him and for us. If somebody asks to just some over and watch a football game all I can think of is how we are going to try and keep his stimming under control because the situation is going to stress him out. So I just dont know what to do. He doesnt act out, like hardly ever which is good for an almost 4 year old, like really hardly ever, I think it all get channeled into stimming instead. What were your kiddos like when they were about 4?

More Answers

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

My eldest is very sensitive...and as she's gotten older, she's learned to balance it with reality. She is an incredibly (and I mean above and beyond) considerate and sympathetic person.

I wouldn't stick your child with a shrink for the world...I think that'd open up cans of worms that he doesn't need opened.

There's too much of this thinking that every child who doesn't fit a certain mold has to have something WRONG with them. He's sensitive...that's his PERSONALITY, not a disorder. Also, given how in tune he is to others, I really don't think he sounds autistic at all.

Just continue to be a wonderful mother and teach him real life lessons, expose him to real life situations, etc...and he'll be a very wonderful child.

:)

As to your further question...no, my sensitive child NEVER acted out. She still doesn't. As a baby, she never cried...and I mean NEVER. She cries more now than she ever did as a baby or toddler. She was a very stoic baby, and a very wonderful and interesting toddler...and she's a very compassionate young child.

7 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

my daughter is highly sensitive added to her high intelligence= socially awkward. she is in 4th and we are at a new school in hopes of turning it around this year.
i had to advocate against adults in her life. i had to limit time with relatives who think being harsh will toughen her up and such nonsense.
if you can find good families with good kids to be friends with, that is the best advice i can give you. he needs to be accepted as he is.

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

Yes! I have a 7 year old who is highly sensitive too. She is very tuned into the emotions of others and is almost overwhelmed by them. They take her away from her own learning in class too. I am not sure it is significant enough to be classified as autism. The multiple emotions moving around her on a daily basis is her struggle. I have given her Rescue Remedy Stress relief. I have noticed a difference in her ability to tune herself out of others and focus on her feelings with it. I can't say that the change is drastic, however it does take the edge off for her.

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

I agree w/ Mrslavallie.
I have looked at (read parts of but not all) the book 'The Highly Sensitive Child'. http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Ove...
I think it applies to my DD (almost 6).
She also has some SPD traits.
My ped. gave me the paperwork to get a psych referral...I agonized over it for the 2 weeks I had to make a decision. In the end, I threw them away.
I'm not saying it (seeking help) is the wrong step for everyone...but it was for us.
IDK...I don't really have any answers for you, just know you're not alone.
Mostly, I feel like I need to strive to be a better mom to her...because over the years we have had a real disconnect. That and being consistent.
Does your son act out? We have had a real hard time w/ our DD...

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

your son is intuitive and receptive to others' emotions..that's a gift! i agree that you need to figure out the best way to deal with it, so that you aren't stifling it or making him feel worse about his emotions, but helping him blossom. some might even call it a sort of esp, to be SO very empathetic. but don't try to label it or put him in a category...just accept and love him as he is - and appreciate his unique talent for what it is. many of us women wish our grown-up men would have a little more of that gift! he will make a wonderful husband and father some day, and you get the privelege of helping to raise and foster that.

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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

Have you tried taking him to an occupational therapist for the stimming?
I think that might be your best bet for helping him with that.

Even if he is not autistic, this article may have some suggestions that would be helpful for your son.

http://www.autism-in-the-christian-home.com/stimming.html

Hope it helps =o)

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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

My son was evaluated by an child psychologist and found to fall into the highly sensitive group. He isn't so much concerned about others feeling...but whatever he is feeling he feels so DEEPLY that it totally overwhelms him.

We only had two sessions with the doctor and she left us to work on it at home. He has gotten a lot better, but still has times where he relapses into the extreme behavior of out of control feelings. The relapses are happening farther and farther apart...he is almost 7 and seems to be doing better. But it is mostly just teaching him how to deal with his emotions.

There is a book by the author Greenspan and he covers this type of personality very well.

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