Highchair Woes - How to Stop Food Throwing?

Every suggestion helps; at least you can try something new. My daughter used to do the same thing. But what I did was ignore her. I didn't even say no, cause then she just did it more and thought it was a game. She gave me her sippy cup once instead of throwing it on the floor one time and I smiled really big and in a dramatic way said "thank you" "oh thank you" and told her how sweet she was and gave her a kiss. From then on she always handed me her sippy cup when she had enough. Then as with the food, when she was about to throw it on the floor I would say "can mommy have that?" and low and behold she gave it to me. And I dramatically thanked her and kissed her. It doesn't work all the time, but there is definitely a lot less food thrown on the floor. If you have a dog that would help tremendously! Or keep a little hand vacuum near the food area. Hope this helps. The thank you's also work with things she should not play with, my daughter is always finding dangerous stuff on the floor and the first thing she does is pick it up and hand it over to me. The thing is you have to emphasize the positive and ignore the negative things the kids do, then you are teaching them positive reinforcement. (Took psychology in college) Anyhoo enough of the boring stuff, love the kids, they will eventually learn. I don’t know of any 15 year old throwing food on the floor. Te he

I have 4 children but only had this problem with one when she was about 15 months old. I told her we do not throw food and if she throws her food she will be removed from the table. Every time she would get one warning and then was calmly removed from the table (and from eating) until the next meal. She finally realized throwing food meant going hungry for a while and that she would much rather eat properly. My daughter too was underweight... she was below 5th percentile for her age, but some kids just weigh less than others and if she is healthy every other way there isnt much need to worry about it. So many kids today are much bigger than they should be, I imagine it pulls those percentiles a bit out of whack ;) Another thought could be that they are feeding off each others silliness and maybe feeding them separately would reduce that. Good luck!

First, you will NOT NEED TO SLAP THEIR HANDS!!!! Please try other methods, to see that they do indeed work. It is more important that the child learns how and why to behave as the rest of the family, not because they're afraid of a family member hitting them.

I can go on and on, but it boils down to... we expect them to handle THEIR problems without hitting, and THEY ARE TODDLERS... we are adults and should be able to find solutions to OUR PROBLEMS without hitting.

Here are some suggestoins (sorry I had to add the above due to a response I saw from earlier)

Your high chairs are seperate from being at the table right?

How about booster chairs (with straps) that go up to the table, so that they are included in the family meal?

Is everyone sitting at the table for a meal, or are you in the kitchen serving, and having them eat? I think it's important to sit with them.

You might offer one thing at a time, not a full plate... or at least start with small portions on the plate.

Try sitting them next to each other.

Make a sign (have them help decorate it with stickers) and hang it near the table. Maybe it says, "Food stays on the plate. Food goes in our mouth" and refer back to that, letting them 'read' it (they'll remember what it says!

Tell them that this is a rule. Tell them that if they break that rule, their meal will be over. If it happens, give them one warning, telling them this is your last warning. Be clear, be short in description, and be gently firm.

Remove them from the table and have them clear their plate, or help them clear it. Have THEM HELP CLEAN THE MESS! (helping clean their own mess is a very impactful learning tool) Another great method is to tell them what they CAN throw. We don't throw food. We can throw balls after lunch. We'll throw rocks into the pond. We'll throw pillows down the stairs (or whatever you'll allow them to throw)

That's all I can think of.

Oh, you might try limiting snacks, they may really not be hungry at meal times. Maybe make sure snacks are very healthy so that if they miss a meal you're not worrying about them eating.

Good luck!

Wow! How do you have the time, money and patience to deal with this?

My first thought is that it IS very important how you handle this situation. I believe that in the grand scheme of things, each new situation/phase of a child's life is an opportunity for you to show, teach or guide them to be the best version of themselves. So for example, eating with the family in a chair or at the table is a HUGE and one of your first opportunities to teach a child socially acceptable behavior as well as whatever your family rules are. Kind of sets a precedence for future situations. Another thing I'd like to point out is that the younger kids are learning from the oldest plus the examples they see, so usually it is toughest with the first.

We decided that food throwing was absolutely UNACCEPTABLE in all circumstances: home, restaurants, at friends, etc. That there would be NO FOOD THROWING, period. In order to establish eating patterns, when they (I have 3 kids) first started eating, I gently held their hands while feeding them. This teaches them what to do with their hands - nothing. The next phase is they are feeding themselves and have all this new "power/freedom", so of course they will whip the food to see what happens. Obviously they understand NO or KEEP THE FOOD ON THE TRAY or FOOD STAYS ON THE TRAY etc. My oldest of course kept it up, so then I gave him an attention getting reminder with this hands by firmly holding his hands down while repeating the command and eventually gave him a light rap on his hands. This did not work, so up an out he went, bib and all, right into his crib, door shut. After a bit, I placed him back into the chair to begin again. This happened several times with his time-out (should be out of the room completely) a bit longer. Finally his hunger or whatever won out. Then it never happened again and we did not have that problem with the other two.

Amazingly enough, because we applied these principles we alway took our kids out to restaurants with no trouble, no disturbing others, etc. But we are not hesitant to discipline or remove the child either. Believe me, a couple times out of the room and they know your serious plus realize that throwing = in the crib = BAD CHOICE versus eating politely = nice meal = GOOD CHOICE!

It is tough at times, but your efforts will pay-off in the long run. Think about all the eating situations they will encounter - you are doing them a favor and setting them up for success if they already know how to behave. Not taking advantage of helping them to be the best version of themselves will be a handicap for them in the future...

L.

I'm from the older times when things were a little different, so here goes. A child who is defiant acts differently from a child who is learning about gravity. Your children sound like they are doing this for the attention that they get. They control you with her behaviors.

I agree with putting them at the table to make it harder for them to make a mess. And I think that it is time for a very well-timed slap on the hand every time that food is thrown or purposfully spilled. You have to do this at the moment of throwing, and you must do it calmly and not in anger, and you must explain that this is the consequence of their disobedience. And you have to do it every time that they throw food. The single firm slap is enough, it stings. It makes an unpleasant association with the throwing of the food.

Corporal punishment works, when done properly.

As for the floor, buy a sturdy shower curtain and put it down before meals. Most of the food will be caught by it and you can take it out and hose it off, wash it in the tub, or put it in the washing machine. Easier on your floors. Maybe all this will take the fun out of food throwing for them, and you won't have to slap their hands for more than a few days.

Sounds like they are doing this for attention. Negative attention is often more desirable than no attention. I think we often put them in their high chairs with a snack and hope we will have a minute to get something done, but if they are misbehaving it may be to get your attention. My 3 year old use to really make a huge mess when i'd leave her too long or sometimes at all. Maybe until this habit breaks, you should try sitting down with them, and maybe try to feed them if they will let you. Praise them when they do the right things and maybe even do a sticker chart of lots of hugs/kisses. I've found that positive reinforcement works much better than anything else. Also, if they really need to do some throwing, put their high chairs outside where it won't matter and let them go to town. If it's a power struggle, you can control your part by not engaging in it and then it may resolve itself. Also remember when we tell small children "don't do ...." all they hear is "do ..." they often don't process the don't part. So try to tell them what you'd like to do, like "keep your hands to yourself, or food stays on the tray or I like the way you are eating your food, etc.." Remember that everything is just a phase and it won't last forever, try to hang in there and be patient.

Invest in the 'sippigrip'. they sell for about $5 each on Amazon.com. Its a tether that you can attach to their cups with one end and the highchair (or stroller, booster, carseat) with the other. It has been a HUGE sanity-saver for me not having to worry about broken cups or spilled formula/milk, or even lost when we are out and about. It also takes the novelty of throwing out of the situation....its not nearly as fun to throw a cup when it won't hit the floor! Just say 'no' to the throwing food, firmly and seriously...I wouldn't to time-out yet as they are too young to understand the concept. They will catch on that you don't like it when you never smile or react positively to them throwing food. (I posted this exact same question about 15 months ago with my son, and he is now a little angel at the table and never throws a thing....now its my 9 month old daughter that's learning the game!) This too shall pass! Best of luck to you!

I would put them into the chairs that sit at the regular table, get a placemat and put their food directly on the mat so they do not have anything to throw. If they are throwing cups -- don't give them one with their meal, they don't need it and drinks tend to fill them up more anyway, so if your daughter needs the calories - you should focus on the food, instead of the drink. Get some of those disposable floor mats for underneath them. If they continue, make them get down and help with picking it up so they understand the work you have to do. Obviously, they understand what they are doing if sissy is telling brother "NO". If it comes to it - they may just need to feed themselves with their hands, with no utensils, plates, etc. until they can use their manners. Maybe they are seeing all that stuff as toys and not utensils. Then when they are older and can understand a little better, you can introduce those items again.

We went through that and the good news is that over time it gets old to them too. I know that right now it is a pain to be constantly cleaning the floor but it might be a good idea to try to not let it bug you so much. They will learn to use a there silverware in time. Enjoy them being kids. We would have our son sit in the high chair until the floor was clean and towel dryed, this way he was safe and slowly figured out that putting food on the floor kept him from getting down when he wanted to.

Any behavior that a child does that gets a rise out of you they will do again and again.

Here's what I did, for what it's worth. First, my high chair had removeable trays, so we got rid of that stuff right about 13-14 months. So, he was still strapped into the high hair, but pulled up to the table with everyone else and his food was on the table. Then any time he through food or cups or silverware, he seat with him strapped in was turned to the corner for a timeout, 1' per year (so for a year and a half, 90 mins). Then straight back to the table and after a day or 2 of that it slowly got better. Also, we use supernanny time out. We say that's naughty and put him in the corner then no talking to them until it's over, we completely ignore him, because any attention, whether good or bad is attention. Also, with twins, if you pull them to the table don't put them next to each other, put them as far apart as possible, they'll feed off each other. Best of luck!!

welcome to toddler hood.My 3 year olds still do it.We just end the meal & take them to the other room.It is a battle of the wills.And I also think it is to get a reaction from you.I understand about the floor I sweep up the mess {I have linoleum]so have had no ant/bug problems.You are right with twins you don't have the time to mop every meal or even every day.You are to busy keeping them ocuppied & keeping them from going after each other.I hope you are or have invested in the fully netted crib tents so they don't escape their cribs trying to get to each other.I have & it does help.
also has the pediatrician told you about pedia sure ?
L. in Winfield

Firstly I think you should put drop cloths under the high chairs. Even newspaper would stop you having to clean the floor as often. Ants are a huge problem and hard to get rid of.

I don't remember our Grandson actually ever doing this he was far too interested in eating. It is normal though and you have to be firm with them, your daughter knows it is wrong as she tells her brother no, I expect he knows too, but they are playing off one another. If possible feed them separately. Can you put one in the kitchen and one somewhere else. It will be hard and cause you distress but you are already distressed. I seem to remember seeing children's bowls that stick to the high chair with a suction, that might help. For some reason children like to throw food and they need to learn that it is not acceptable behaviour. One of the problems is many people think it is funny and laugh.

If all else fails you may have to resort to strong measures, a swift tap on the hand will get their attention and show them that you are serious. It is hard to reason with a baby and 15 months is still a baby. I don't suggest you hurt them but you have to get their attention and words aren't working.

Good luck.

A few things that worked for me:
My son is 21 months old and still does this sometimes, but it's really rare now. First thing I did was to move him to a booster on the regular chair to our table when he was 13 months old. That made a huge difference! He feels really happy about sitting next to me and eating (I can't always eat at the same time, but I try to because it makes him happy eat at the same time as I do.) Of course since you have twins, they encourage each other's bad behavior and I'm sure the good one too so it might take more time than if you had just one kid. Another thing is that I didn't let him see that it frustrated me when he kept throwing things. I just firmly said 'throwing food/cup/whatever is not OK and not allowed'. Of course it took a million times until it took, but as I said, he rarely does this anymore.
I think when they see you get frustrated, which I am admit, it truly difficult to hide with even just 1 kid, they get a rise out of it and will do it more and more and more.
I also never agreed withe the 'experts' saying that when they play with their food they are no longer hungry. That was not the case with my son. They are babies/toddlers and just love to play and get a reaction out of us and we just need to repeatedly let them know that it's not ok. Good luck! By the way, my son now refused to sit in a booster and just sits on the regular chair and has to reach a bit for his food. And you know what, I decided not to make an issue out of it.

Dear A. -

I think you have gotten some good suggestions...but I tend to think a bit 'outside' the box. (I also have 7 kids with one set of twins...so I feel your pain!)

My mom would be horrified, (she is mrs clean, and not an animal lover) but one of the benifits of having our 'maggie' (golden retriever) was that she was a vacuum! Any food that was on the floor she got to, and the kids quickly learned not to throw food! It saved on major messy clean ups!! We were blessed in that she never begged, or had possiveness issues with food...but if it hit the floor, it was fair game!

Just a thought...

I also agree that setting the tone with the 'elders' makes it so much easier on the youngers! They learn SO MUCH from the older sibs!

Take care
Michele/catwalk

Since it's a game they're playing, and you don't like it, then don't play. Take off the trays and pull the chairs up to the big table. If the food flies, say No throwing, and You're done, and take them out of their chairs and out of the kitchen. If they're hungry, they'll eat. Save the sippy cups for the end of the meal. (I like the tether suggestion, I haven't seen those). Only put a few bites of each selection on their plates. Your daughter will be okay for the week or so this new discipline is being implemented; if she's throwing the food, she's not eating it anyway. You can invest in a couple of cheap shower curtains to cover the floor, but I just used newspaper for my thrower. If you still have problems with ants there is a liquid called Terro that works great for sweet ants (the teeny brown ones).

Hi! Both my kids did this also, and I had to end the meal as soon as they threw any food. It didnt mean they didnt get to eat.....just not right then. After they threw fits about it and realized they were not getting food because they threw it, they calmed down. A little while later I would offer it to them again, if they agreed not to throw it again. It didnt hurt them to postpone their meal. They still were fed. :) Im not a fan of the going to bed hungry thing.
good luck!

Just tell them no but other than that go wiht it. Our daughter does it too but if we say no and then back off she has seemed to not do it as much or a soften

My daughter is 14 months and still does this also. And like yours, she throws food throughout her whole meal, so it is not that she is done with eating. I think you just need to accept the food throwing until they are a little older and try to make the mess a little more managable for yourself by getting a highchair mat for the floor and maybe invest in a "no throw" (www.nothrow.com) for sippy cups. I wouldn't punish them or try to dissuade the throwing at this point as they are still in the exploring phase. Good luck!

I'm sure it's been metioned but tie items to the chair. I had to use some ribbon and would tie the bottles and cups to the chair so when she threw them over they didn't hit the floor and make a mess. Then we put a shower curtian under the chair so that clean up was easy. We only put small amounts of food on her tray. When DD got better using the fork I owuld let her put food on the tray but she still doesn't get her entire meal at once. HTH

I find it really frustrating to parent toddlers when they are not verbal but really do understand more than we believe. It always seems like a battle of wills. Have you tried conditioning? Maybe delay their mealtime, so that you know they are really hungry. Then, when they are down for eating, model the proper behavior. Say no throwing food and model that. When they start throwing food, remove the plates and set them on the counter but leave them in their seats. When they scream for their meal, say no throwing food. Then, place it back in front of them. As soon as food starts flying, plates are removed and delay the time it is returned. Message: poor manners, no food. When one starts screaming, but the other is quiet, give food back to quiet one. Maybe your daughter will get the message. Whatever you choose to do, I believe you'll have to be consistent. If you change methods back and forth, the message gets lost at that age.

It's simple.
If they throw food or cups, they must be done eating. Take them down. No more food until the next meal. Do NOT give in to the whining and wailing about "I'm sooo hungry!" They won't starve.
YMMV
LBC

Holy cow, my kid never threw food, so I'm writing to my former daycare / friend (she lives in Scotland now) to see if she has any advice. She dealt with small children for about twenty years before she decided to move on. I cut and pasted your request and if she responds I'll pass it on.

-S.

Tanya hasn't written back yet, but this is from my friend Devra who is the oldest of nine. [Anything in brackets is me interjecting.]

"Naomi never threw food either. [Her older daughter, turned 2 in Apr] She's recently tried throwing her bottle or sippy cup and honestly we just either take it away, send her to her room, lay her down for a nap or she earns a spanking, depending on the attitude level when she throws it. But she's definitely old enough to understand that that is unacceptable behaviour [and I think a 15 month old is smart enough to get it, too.] so it's very rare that she tries it. Any advice I give is just what I would try and not from experience. I don't remember any of my siblings throwing things, but discipline was metered out rather swiftly in my house growing up.

My first response is to assure the mom that her daughter WILL NOT waste away if she doesn't eat everything put in front of her. If she's concerned about her getting full nutrition she should look into wholefoodfarmacy.com and order Phi Plus or a variety thereof. Not only is it easy to clean up ;), it's a complete nutrition that will go along way on just a little bit. I started Naomi on it when she was about six months old and she's relied on it heavily ever since. Note: according to statistical info, Naomi is small and underweight for her age [I'd've never geussed that, she looks healthy to me!]. Do I let that bother me? Never have. Why? Because I know my daughter is healthy, that she'll eat when she's hungry, her bowels are regular and she has the energy of someone high on caffeine. [I can vouch for this, too!] Unless there are signs of illness, you can't let that mom worry sneak in and cause you to ignore bad behavior. Also, for the daughter, if she still drinks milk I suggest supplementing her nutrition naturally by mixing her milk with yogurt. I use Yo' Baby for it's variety of flavors, organic ingredients and the ease of blending with milk but it will also increase the caloric intake. Naomi still loves her yogurt-milk though she's beginning to skip days. I started her on that around 9-10 months and later heard it's great for their digestive tract, etc

That being said, depending on how resolute you can be my recourse would be to try these options: Revisit the removal of food upon bad behaviour with a slight variation - try letting them eat and as soon as they throw food, take it away and feed it to them. By doing this you are taking back control and impressing upon them that certain behavior is required in order to be allowed the privilage to feed themselves. [Also, if you have to feed them, you 'd do it one at a time and it's no longer a game they can do together. ?!!] It might be time consuming, but it will beat out mopping five times a day for the next six months, etc. I think, unfortunately, at this point throwing food is a regularly visited game for them. They aren't misbehaving for being bad's sake, it's just fun to throw food. By cutting it off repeatedly and consistently, they will eventually lose interest.

It could take several days/weeks before this makes an impression and begins to sink in so you have to commit to the program and stick with it. Another option is to try placing cut up fruits, place phi plus or crackers, etc. on the table or in an easily accessible location for snacking as they need it through-out the day, that might eliminate the need for five feedings as well as develop grazing habits which are better metabolically for humans anyway."

first i would move them to a booster chair at the big table. then invest in a roomba. ahfter they eat hit the button and it cleans up for you. i do it after every meal and it works great. i need it for the 8 and 6 year old as much as for the 15 month old :)

A.,
My 3rd DD went through this as well. She is almost 2 now and rarely throws food at the dinner table. Moving her to the table in a booster helped but now she wants to crawl down before dinner is done. I would suggest only putting a little food on the tray at a time. No sippy cup until dinner is done. My second child was underweight so I understand the stress of getting high calorie food into them.

Regarding the ants: We had horrible ants. I felt like i was being invaded. We tried all sorts of things to get rid of them and finally had to call an exterminator. That worked. Also, I've seen steamer vacs that "mop" floors without you having to actually mop the floor. And my friend has some sort of shark vac that sucks up spills and food. That sounds much easier than cleaning the floor after every meal. Of course a shower curtain would be cheaper but I personally wouldn't want to clean that up 3-4 times a day.

Good luck!!