Hi there,
My son has just realized he has a voice and that he can squeal really loud and really high pitched to get attention. The last few weeks, it has gotten worse. He does it in restaurants, in the car, outside at the park, anywhere to be heard. I noticed that he looks at whoever is around when he does, like trying to get attention (not that he doesn't get enough). My nephew is autistic and it is hard for him to ride in the car or be around my son because it bothers him. I am not sure what to do to fix this. He has always had a high pitch cry, but this screaming is uncalled for. He is not in pain or in need of anything, I think he is trying to get attention. How do I break him of this?
My daughter did this when she was the same age. We couldnt get it to stop and they finally tested her hearing. Her hearing was not as good because of her allergies, and she had noticed.
K.,
My son is 11mths old and started doing this a couple mths ago. He is just finding his voice and has figured out that is how to get your attention right when he wants it. It is natural and I dont think you should discipline him for it. Try to focus his attention on something else when he does it so that he "forgets" about the screaming. We turned it into a game-and that has worked really well. Everytime he does his loud pitch scream tell him "that's too loud" in a soft voice. after a couple times my son figured out that he needed to lower his voice. He would bring it down a bit and look at me for a response....if he was still really loud I would say it again. He would bring it down more and more untill I said "Thank you" and he would mach me trying to say "thank you" instead of screaming. Now he does it when he gets really excited about something but it is not the high pitched scream. Every baby goes thru this and it is just a phase. Also something funny to do is yell back at them. It will startle them at first but if you start laughing they will start laughing and forget about the screaming. Good Luck to you. You just have to find what works with his personality b/c he is trying to figure out how to communicate with you. The more you talk to/around him (with a softer tone) the more he will follow that trend instead of the screaming. Hope this helps in saving your hearing. =)
He is just discovering his voice. My 11 month old does it all of the time. Sometimes when I am scolding my 3 year old he does it. Don't flick him, like one of the previous posts said. He isn't doing anything wrong. All babies do different things when they are learning. Let him learn. Give him attention when he does it. When my son does it, I laugh at him, b/c it does make me laugh. When I laugh he usually stops, b/c he is getting my attention. Be calm now b/c as he grows there will be worse things that get on your nerves! Don't wish it away. He is just a baby.
I have an almost 16 month old, and he does the same thing. As the others have said, they are just discovering their voice and it will pass or become less severe. The more attention you draw to it, the more they will do it to get your reaction.
This may sound like it won't work, but if he is doing it to get attention (which it sounds like he clearly is), then you may need to try to ignore that behavior. This is something that my pediatrician recommended, however, my little one is only 9 months old, so I haven't really had to do this yet. It doesn't sound like something I could successfully ignore, so please don't think I am saying this would be easy, but it might be worth a try. Any attention, even negative, may feed this behavior. If you do decide to punish him for this, I wouldn't do it if he's outside. I mean, who really cares how much noise he makes at the park. Let him know that it's okay to make noise outside and then make him use his inside voice in the car and indoors. Just a thought.
You'll have to let me know what works! I'm sure I will have that same issue at some point since my little one is quite a talker already. Good luck!
I am right there with you! I am so glad you posted this, because I was going to do the same. My 20 month old DD is really having a blast with this now. She did it for a time when she was younger (about your son's age), usually reserving the screetching for when I was holding her by my left ear!! I seriously think I have some hearing loss from her now! She even sets off my noise detector in my home. It is designed to pick up 100 decibels (or more) of sound--it will NOT pick up my smoke detectors--but it WILL pick up my DD's screeching!!!! YIKES! I think that period of screeching was related to 'finding her voice'. She seemed to outgrow it until...
... we were just visiting some out of town friends, and she started doing it more than ever! We have tried several things, and ignoring works at home, but not there! I know it will pass, but my goodness, it really hits my buttons! So very annoying!! And it makes you feel like a terrible mom to ignore this behavior around other people, but I am afraid to fuel the fire with any response. Yelling back, showing frustration or time out do NOT work for my DD on this matter.
Otherwise, she too is a total sweetheart. BTW, she knows several signs and many words, but she still does this when she feels frustrated or for other unknown reasons.
I can't wait to read all your responses!
Best of luck, and protect your ears!
Ok,after reading everyone's post, I am wondering if I have a lower tolerance level than everone or what. Honestly both of my daughters did this to me a few times at best, and when they did, I flicked them on their cheek. Not hard enough to really hurt them, it was more of a shock to give them an immediate consequence to their actions. I cant say if that was why they didnt do it again, or simply luck, but I can say it was a short lived thing. Someone else I know suggested putting something nasty tasting in their mouths when they scream like that, but that meant I always had to have something on hand. I hope you find something that will work for you though, because in my opinion he is old enough to start learning that certain behaviors have consequences. Maybe a good firm NO with your hand placed gently over his mouth, if "flicking" him seems to harsh a punishment for you. I wish you will as he starts asserting himself more and more...welcome to toddlerhood!
I so wish someone had some answers for this! I have none except that it's hard because you know they want something and can't communicate it. A lot of people recommend signing as a way to end some of the frustration. My son has never taken to it unfortunately. I think he's finally recognizing the "more" sign. I think it's one of those this too shall pass things. My mom said my sister did it just like my son, but I did not do it. I think, for my son, who is VERY verbal, it's truly a serious frustration at not being able to say what he wants to get across! Good luck!
Another embarassed mom,
R.
He is just testing out his vocal range. My son did it and every other kid I know did the exact same thing at this age. It is very trying at times, particularly because the child finds it amusing. The more annoyed you get, the more amusing he will find it and he will always begin to do it at the most inopportune times. It's just a fact. Take comfort in knowing that it is just a phase. This too shall pass. Good Luck!
Yep, he's testing his voice. My son went through it to. Nothing you can do except ignore it. Can your autistic nephew wear headphones or does it bother him for something to touch his ears? Good luck!
Advice from "Parenting with Love and Logic" says: If you can't change the behavior, change the location.
When he starts his squalling, say, in a calm voice, "Screaming is not allowed." Then take him to his crib or playpen and tell him, "You may come out when your voice is softer." Be sure to let him out as soon as he's quiet. But also be prepared to put him right back in there if he starts it up again. And say the same words "Screaming is not allowed, you may come out when your voice is soft." The repitition is important. He's trying to see if the same thing happens every time he does this little trick. You have to make sure that it does!
If you're in a restaurant, take him to the car (then stand right next to the car while he calms down).
However, if you don't NEED to take him out, you might stick around the house for a day or two to work on correcting this behavior before "testing" him in public.
He should get the idea pretty quickly.
It is a phase for him. He will out grow it. All my girls did it and my 2 youngest still do it sometime.(3 yrs and 20 mo) I have tried telling them that it hurts mommy's and daddy's ears but it didn't seem to work. I know it is hard to ignore the screaming but it seems to work for my youngest and also playing what we call the shh! game quietly. We see who can say shh! really quiet. My 20 mo old thinks it is funny to say shh! so she will do it all the time especially when she starts to get really tired now.
I hope this helps.
