Hi - East Hartford,CT

With as little emotion as possible. Don't be mad back at him. It's a natural stage he's going through. It's frustrating being one year old and knowing what you want but not being able to ask for it with words.

I guess for specifics, we'd need some specific examples.

Is he hitting? Biting? Throwing things? Each thing has a different solution. Or is it just a general crankiness or attitude that might be helped with a different sleep schedule?

The very best to you

Tell him no hit, no bite, no throw, etc what ever the situation is. If it's just a temper tantrum, ignore him. He isn't old enough for time outs yet. You'll find yourself repeating the word no so many times, you won't think you know any other words!! Just stay calm and so no emotion when he misbehaves.

S.

My daughter is almost 2 and she has her moments, but one thing I have found most effective in helping shape her behavior is trying to think like a one year old (and all ages to come) and to understand her frustrations. I find myself responding much differently to her than if I were to (in a 27 year old frame of mind) just try and make her "act right" or "behave". I don't think there are tricks in the book because every child is different. Get down to floor level and ask what's wrong, say "show me". I found my daughter getting frustrated a lot around the same time and I just thought about what it would be like to be learning all these new things and the ability to communicate only under development. Show him how to communicate effectively by asking, showing, listening.... and give him the chance to respond and be heard and, most importantly, understood...

One thing I think that has been helpful as well is instead of using "no" for everything I like to be specific to what she is doing... If she's touching something I don't want her to touch I say "all done" or "not for babies". I feel like if I were to constantly say "no" every time she touches something or does something I don't want her to, she won't know what she can touch or do and in her world of exploration this can make her incredibly frustrated. If she hits I say "not nice" and encourage "nice" behavior. And any time I witness nice behavior I make sure I let her know by telling her she's a sweet girl, hugging or kissing her, or whatever... the net of it is that I really challenge myself to come up with alternatives to "no"... and she hasn't yet gone through the "no" to everything phase...

Check out Love and Logic parenting books (at bookstores or your local library). This is a VERY frustrating time for the little ones because they can't communicate very much at all, but they are learning a lot. There's stuff in their brains, and they can't explain it. Baby sign language may help as well - it's easier for them to use their hands because they can't really talk yet. Hope that helps!

How can you say that you child has a bad temper at 1??? Poor little guy. He's just like ant other y.o., he's brand new to the world, he can't understand it, he can't speak so that means not only that he can't voice his needs, but also that in his mind he cannot give a name to whatever he is feeling (sleepy, hungry, tired, angry etc..), he doesn't know social rules and can't determine what's a good or bad behavior because he does not have the cognitive capabilities to do so. Please, relax, and expect him (and ANY other child his age) to be the way he is...it's totally normal and it's not a bad temper, or at least NOT YET. Sorry if I say so but the way you put the question it seems a little harsh...Good luck, though, perhaps you are just tired and all of us have been there!

G.,
Perhaps you could describe to us what you mean by a bad temper? Then we might be able to give you more concrete advice. I'd suggest you repost a new question and title it something like "my 12 month old seems angry."

Whatever you do, BE Patient. A 12 month old doesn't understand many things. Being gentle and giving patients is really important.

:)