Helping to Teach a 2 1/2 Year Old to Go to Sleep on His Own

Updated on February 19, 2008
L.C. asks from Lafayette, CO
10 answers

Hi,
I weaned my 2 year old son in June, however prior to and since then he has always had a bottle of water to take with him to bed. It is definitely a comfort item and I didn't want to take it away until after we finished nursing. Anyhow, we recently convinced him to trade or give his baby bottles to the "bottle fairy" for a tool belt (something he really wanted). He took us up on the trade but no for the first time he doesn't have that suckling/soothing mechanism to go to sleep. He's had a very difficult time going to sleep the last two nights.

Any suggestions on helping him learn how to put himself to sleep without his bottle? He is typically a great sleeper, getting 11 hours each night plus a 2-3 hour nap. He's a great kid and I want to help him if I can.

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So What Happened?

I appreciate everyone's responses. Thank you! It's not so much that he even asks for his bottle. He's not crying for it. We have a bedtime routine, he has his teddy's (that' he's had since birth) and he has a sippy cup of water. While he is not asking for a bottle he is asking for milk (which is usually what is in his sippy). He's also been sick so who knows maybe it's a combination. While he still has issues at nap time and bedtime they seem to be lessening. I guess it's just a matter of time. Now if i could figure out why he's sleeping at the door instead of his bed. Hmmmm:-). Thanks

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D.P.

answers from Phoenix on

I went through the same thing a few months ago. only advice is be strong and don't give in. We had many crying nights, but after a while she realized it wasn't coming back. it's been about 3 months now and every now and then she'll still asks every now and then, but just don't give in. :o)

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

Unfortunately these milestones like no bottle, no pacifiers are harder on us parents I think. It is time to get him off the bottle for sure! Just be firm, reward him and praise him for being a big boy now and bottles go to babies. Throw them out so not to be tempted to give into him, make him part of that process and really make a big deal out of him being a big boy. Kids get in habits and it is our job to break them early enough it isn't a battle later on. You will have a few nights of fits, tears but stand firm. He will soothe himself, figure out how to do it himself and it will be worth it in the long run. Get him a big boy sippy cup for bedtime, then maybe find him a stuffed animal and deem it "big boy sleepy friend", and try and just be tough. If they pitch fits at this age and we give in, it will drag the process out a lot longer...good luck.

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E.D.

answers from Tucson on

If you hadn't given the bottle to the fairy yet, I would have suggested introducing another soothing mechanism to use simultaneously with the bottle, so he can become attached to that before giving up the bottle. For example, start playing a tape you made of yourself reading his favorite bedtime stories or soothing songs, and have him listen to that while he has his bottle. However, it's not too late to do that. You can play the music (or whatever you choose) during night time routine, and have it continue playing after you leave so he can have that carry over into sleeping time. That kind of consitency and familiarity is comforting even at my age, so I'm sure it's paramount for a little child.

We have recently moved my 22 month old to her own room and own bed after weaning from nursing, and I have tried many things. What I realized is that bedtime is an iterative process. Things that work come and go, and you constantly have to be in touch with your child's needs and abilities at his/her age to respond appropriately. Understanding the difference between the short-lived, frustrated cry of a child learning a new skill and the urgent cry of a scared child in need is very important, IMHO.

I'm also wondering if a sippy cup would be a good alternative. My DD never got attached to a bottle, but she does use sippies for soy milk and other fluids. They still have a somewhat comforting suckling, but it seems like it would be a good step down. Just an idea, since I don't have experience in the bottle department.

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K.A.

answers from Denver on

Does your son sleep with a blankie or stuffed animal? My son uses a blankie as a comfort item. I would let him pick something special that he can sleep with.

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T.K.

answers from Phoenix on

The bottle is a comfortating item at this point and kids don't like change. It can be a battle, I know with 3 kids, sometimes you really have to let them kick and scream. As hard as it is, the transition is very difficult at that age and they may do it for only about a week but you just can't give in....

T. K

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D.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I have a 17 month old son who was very attached to his bottle. I moved him from milk to water to none at all. The none at all was hard because he would cry and whine alot. But I just sat in his room w/ him with his night night music and read him stories until he finally just fell asleep. Now the stories are routine, but the whining has stopped and now he goes to sleep while I read to him.

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G.N.

answers from Flagstaff on

Hi L., I know it's not easy seeing your child struggle going to sleep, but sometimes you just have to push through and wait it out, we all struggle when were used to having something and then we have to give it up, Just hang in there and don't give in! sincerely, G.

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T.H.

answers from Denver on

Hi L.,
try some soft music. Classical is really soothing.
T.

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M.M.

answers from Denver on

L.,
Funny, my daughter was the exact same way! We successfully used the bottle fairy as well. BUT the interesting thing is my Daughter would be found sleeping on the floor by her door too. Then she would be at the top of the stairs fast asleep. When we went to bed we would almost step on her in the dark! We figured that she was listening to us to help sooth herself when the bottle was gone. It eventually stopped by itself. Keep up the routine it helps so much.
-M.

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T.

answers from Phoenix on

Dear L.,

My son, who will be 3 in December has been off his bottle since 18 months. However, he has always taken a sippy cup to bed with him (filled with water). He does drink a lot of water during the night, but some times, it is there for comfort, as he used to fall asleep with it in his arms (instead of sleeping with a teddy bear!). Maybe letting your son take a sippy cup to sleep will still give him the comfort of having something with him to bed.

Good luck!

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