Helping My High Functioning Kiddo Understand Social "Stuff"

Since he's already very pragmatic and rule-oriented, you teach him "The Friend Rules."

These lessons occur over time, of course.

There are LOTS of great books out there for this purpose, which talk about what facial expressions and body language means, and how he should react to those. For instance, if someone is crying and has a sad face (downturned mouth, quivering lips/chin, sad eyes), they are sad. It's a Friend Rule to soften your voice, sit next to them, and ask "are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?" Or just listen if they need to talk without interrupting.

There are Friend Rules for every situation....working with your HFA child is simply about expanding their mental library of resources so they know how to "read" others and what to do.

Hi P.,

I wonder if you could go to your local library and ask them for social stories in regard to personal space and a person's 'bubble'. I would certainly introduce this idea if you already haven't: everyone has an invisible bubble of space around their body and that they want you to ask before you touch. (you could also go through comic strips and have him make 'bubble circles' around the characters-- as well as identifying when characters have gone into each other's 'bubble' space, so as to make it less abstract.

Here's a link to a social story chart I found on Pinterest;
http://pinterest.com/pin/237494580321408160/

Hope this might help.

Does your son have an Aide in class?
If not, it would be good to have one.
Through the school.

My kids, who are 6 and 10, have had kids like this in their class. Even autistic kids. At their school, the SPED kids are mainstreamed.
And it has been fine. These kids always have an Aide with them in school/class.

Now, my son, had a classmate like your son when he was in Kindergarten. And this boy has an Aide.
It was fine.
The Aide helped.
But all the kids knew, that the boy was Autistic and tactile. They knew this. So if/when the boy would be affectionate or touch them the Aide would intervene or guide, the boy. And the other kids. The boy himself of course, was not socially adept. But the other kids, knew that. And they were so patient with him.
And they would also tell the boy "stop please..." and move his hand gently away if it irked them.
And the kids as a whole, in the entire school, they know which kids are SPED or special needs, because they all have an Aide in school, with them daily. And the general student population, is very accepting and patient, with these kids.

So in a nutshell, I would recommend that your son have an Aide with him in school.
Get an IEP or whatever it takes, to process it with the school.