J.S.
I am sure I have said this to you a few times, you need to accept that he cannot do it without meds. Every time I read your posts you sound so stressed out but you keep doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result and that just isn't going to happen.
How on earth is he supposed to do what you want when he cannot control his own mind? If you were on one of those whirl a chuck rides that spins you against the side and someone said come here now, would you be able to? or would you have to wait until the ride ends and then exit? How exactly do you expect him to learn to control his mind when he has no idea what a mind under control looks like?
Don't blame his sensory issues for not being able to take a pill. Manipulating you is not a sensory issue, that is his autism, his black and white, cause and effect, autism. It is his if I have a fit I don't have to do something. He doesn't mean to manipulate you, he doesn't realize that is what he is doing, he just knows A + B = C I don't want to do something + temper tantrum = not having to do it. He is autistic, he doesn't understand social cues, he cannot see that others are looking at him funny, that he is scaring them, that he is out of control. He is pure logic and logically if you are not embarrassed a temper tantrum is a brilliant way to get what you want.
Don't believe me pay attention next time you are in a store and someone is at the service desk having an adult temper tantrum demanding service they don't deserve. It works, it works for anyone who isn't embarrassed to be that person and your son will never be embarrassed in the way we are.
My son had a choice, take the pill or drink the awful tasting shake that had the pill ground up in it. He chose to take the pill. As long as you keep giving him an option of not doing, he will keep not doing. It isn't easy, I remember many years of figuring I would be in a nuthouse by now but I am not. I have a fairly happy kid who gets along for the most part with other people. I would not be here if I kept making excuses and just hoping things will change.