Helping My 21 Month Old Learn to Talk

Hi L.,

I'm in the speech pathology program at CSUN where they also have an early intervention clinic for 0-3 year olds. I am NOT a speech therapists, so please do not take my advise as such.

What I can tell you is that your son's age he should have about 20-25 words that he uses frequently. If you are able, place a paper and pen on your kitchen table, or a few around the house. When you hear him say a word write it down. You can put tally marks by the ones he uses more than once. At the end of the day add up the words he used during the day. (Only count each word once.) Do this for a few days to get an average, but the first day should give you a pretty good picture. This will tell you where he is at.

To elicit words, provide him with lots of opportunities. If he points to something, ask him "Do you want the book?" If he nods yes then pretend to be silly and not know what he means. Something like

"Oh-oh, mommy doesn't know what you meant, I'm going to guess that you meant yes? (he nods) Tell me yes."

Give him time to respond. Rushing through responses and answering for him takes away the chance for him to process the information and to formulate what he wants to say. (Don't worry it will speed up before you know it, but go slow for now.)

After you two agree that he wants the desired object, say a book, then expand further.

"This book? You wanted the book? The book called The Very Hungry Caterpillar? Can you say/tell me "book"? (pause and prompt again if he doesn't -say "book".) When he says the targeted word make a big deal about it "Yeay, that's right this is a book, here you go." Don't worry about correct articulation, just get him to start having more output.

As he starts using more words he will be less frustrated. I think it's okay to let him be a little bit frustrated as it will give him some motivation. Now mind you, I don't mean that you should just let him be frustrated, but offer the tools he needs to solve his problems. A lot of this you already do in different areas: you have shown him how to put on clothes, eat and drink by doing it every day.

You have to talk a lot, but you also have to give him the time and opportunity to speak. Don't give into his gestures for requesting right away.

Good luck!
L.

Boys are often "late" in talking.... it is also gender based many times.

You cannot "make" a child talk faster or better or on our time-line. Your son has good cognition... so I would not worry or force it.
Even "noises" they make are considered "pre-talking", and even babbling and singing is. KEEP in mind, that "communicating with you" is not just by "talking" but you can also use sign-language and gestures. This is ALL forms of communication. Just because he cannot "talk" does not mean he cannot "communicate."

I know this, because my son, is a late talker. My son is now 2.5 years old...but from the time of about 19-20 months of age... he has been seeing a Speech Therapist. I did so, not because the Doctor said to, but because (1) it is a 'free' service in our town under the "Zero to Three" program, and (2) I felt it would be a positive thing for my son and me to learn about speech methods and to gain knowledge about it.

For my son, he LOVES his Speech Therapist and he is making great strides. His progress & success is due to many different reasons: (1) he has learned to be less shy about talking (2) he is more confident about trying (3) he has learned about how to form his mouth and sounds & articulation of words (4) is it just a NATURAL progression as he gets older.

As part of the assessment before speech services began for my son, they do a FULL overall assessment of the child's entire development. For my son, he was found to be advanced in many areas, and only his "talking" was delayed. BUT, it he does not have any "clinical" basis for it nor apraxia or any other motor problems. AND my son is also bi-lingual, so that plays into it as well. My son, will understand both languages completely, and can say words in both languages.
So, the therapist is just giving us skills, to encourage him. He has no developmental "problems" and in fact, the Speech Therapist said that about 80% of her clients are "boys" and it is mainly a gender thing.

On the other hand, the grandson of my daughter's Teacher, who is the same age as my son, ALSO sees a Speech Therapist as well. And his progress is different. So, each child cannot be compared. They will blossom when they are ready.

But no matter what, my son really enjoys his speech therapy and I see the direct benefits of it. And he gets very proud when he says new words or sentences.... and he has become much more "chatty" and happy with himself.

If anything, you 'can' possibly have your son assessed, per speech, just to rule out any "real" developmental problems or speech problems.

And yes, a child does get frustrated if they cannot "say" what they have in their heads. So thus, at least for me, this is why I find my son's speech therapy valuable... it helps ME in learning how to assist my son in pertinent ways and not just "guessing."

The bottom line is: if your Pediatrician is not worried, then fine. Don't pressure him to talk or he will get frustrated. Go at HIS pace. Go according to what would be best for your son.... not what you think other people will say. For me, others would comment "how come he doesn't talk yet....?" but I wasn't worried per say, because I know my son is perfectly normal AND he had a vast & deep understanding of what we said and everything in his life.

Keep in mind: Einstein did not talk until 3 years old. And Mozart was a late talker too. Many "geniuses" were late talkers. How early or late a child "talks" has nothing to do with "intelligence." But it IS about how we facilitate things for our child and engage them and what expectations we put on them. And for me, I learned how to communicate with my son to best bring out his natural ability.

All the best,
Susan

So you already got a bunch of good advice. But here is mine...

Call Early Intervention. They will give you great advice as to how to get your son to talk. They offer free services thru the state.

I had an eval and a meeting with Early intervention 2 weeks ago. By following their suggestions I have my son (18mo) babbling a lot more, saying 2 more words, making more attempts at words, signing, and bringing/showing more. As a stay at home mom....you know what your kid wants, when, and you just get it for them.

And....if I think about it....if everything you ever wanted was done/provided before you even knew you wanted it.....would you talk as much? Probably not.

Have you considered teaching him sign language? My friends little boy knows so much sign language and it has helped him feel more confident to say the words. My son and I read together for at least 1 hour a day. As I read I point to the pictures, say what its called and I have noticed over the past 2 months that my son looks at my mouth when I read to him. Also, when my son says a word, even though it is not said correctly, I always praise him for saying it and repeat how the word should be said. (for example, he says ba ba and yes, bottle, very good!!) I have found that this has helped him become more confident with saying new things. If it really does bother you, talk to your son's dr. and ask for him to be tested. A little girl at my son's daycare is 25 months and says very little, just got tested and they told her parents that she needs to be more stimulated with saying more words and not babied when it comes to speaking. I know that every child develops in their own time frame and think that since you are concerned about this early on you can get him talking up a storm in no time!!

Hi L.,
I'm in the same boat you are. My daughter is 18 months old, said her first word before she was a year old, but uses only 2-3 words on a daily basis. She had her 18 month check-up with the pediatrician last week, and the dr said she wasn't concerned yet. She made the same comment that Heather did below, that sometimes we parents are too attentive :-) and give them what they need without making them work for it. My Mom's friend is a speech therapist for the Torrance school district. I asked her about it, and she told me the same thing - don't automatically give them what they want. Make them say the word, even if they have to throw a minor fit before they get what they want.

I tried sounding out the first letter of the words for my daughter (ha-ha-ha-ha hot), but it didn't really work for us - she'll say the ha-ha-ha for hot, but not finish the word. We've really been working with her for the last week, and it has gotten better. She's added "chee" (for cheese, when we're taking her picture). She's still more at the repeating stage than spontaneously saying words, but it's a start. We also contacted our local regional center, and have an evaluation scheduled for her for next week.

Some kids are just late talkers. My mom told me some of her friends kids didn't talk for a long time, then all of a sudden started coming out with 2 or 3 word phrases.

You've already received great advice so I'll just through in some anecdotal info. My DS said maybe 20 'real' words at 22 months. He understood everything and would nod or grunt when offered choices to convey his wants. We went to a speech evaluation around 24 months (right after DD was born) and were basically instructed to stop giving him choices and make him tell us what he wants (I was being too attentive and willing to accommodate). We went through a couple days of a VERY frustrated little boy, but within a month, he was talking in 3-4 word sentences. The words were there, he just needed practice in using them. Good luck!

from wat i hear boys are slower with speech. i have twin nephews that are 1 month younger then my daughter and she says waaaaayy more words then she does (like 150 more! lol). they understand what they are told but choose not to repeat and talk.
what i did with my daughter was talk constantly to her durring play and when i read to her i point out pictures and say the name. also i would pick up things and say the name. i didnt allow her to make a noise for something i would tell her to use her words. if she wants a bite of what i have she doesnt say bite bite bite she will tell me some? then i ask her what do you say and usually i get thank you and then please lol..
i wouldnt stress much about it and if you are worried talk to his dr at his 2 year appt.